/brit/

done my shit lads
done it right in the toilet

fuck off to Jow Forums

the internet

I was almost a school pooper

blimey you were gone a while!

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china, japan and korea all hate eachother

probably only did kiddie meme ones
like video games or consuming media
then one day you woke up and now you're a robot with no craft

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>went outside to read because last weekend of nice weather
>bee came by
>bullied me back inside

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said i would be back in a yify (A:10 + V:10 = 20 minutes)

just woke up

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peng af

the important thing is that you tried

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LADS LADS LADS LADS LADS
I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

So I get a call on my phone.
>what's the problem with that?
Not the end of the story.
It doesn't come up with a contact's name but merely a phone number: 020 0326 0102 and underneath the number it said it was coming from London (currently up north right now).
So being the madlad that I am I decide to answer it but dont say anything for the first few seconds because I want to see who it is.
After 5-10 seconds this robot voice starts saying
>I heard about the accident. I want to keep you safe from the accident. Please tell me about the accident
My heart started beating at 10000mph so I just said w-what? and then robot voice hangs up

What the FUCK.
Can one of you call 02003260102 and tell me if you get the same thing?
I don't think I've ever been this out of it.

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mowed the lawn lads. garden looks nice now. gonna go gym in a sec.

bees are our friends

my hat folder is only 234 files big

reading some shakespeare are we?

just some scam number
chill out lad

that is not much bigness desu

You still need to mow the lawn? Where do you live where grass is still growing?

i'm going to a park and read but i hurt my foot so i'll probably hobble

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are you on drugs mate

why would they hang up when they heard my voice?

are they trying to scam people who cant talk but still own phones?

Poofy scaly scareingtons.

not currently no

A gf of this aesthetic would be appreciated

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cringe

sledge hammuh

Probably just testing the line to see if it is an active number.
They have now noted you are a suitable target

if you count an egg mcmuffin and pepsi max as drugs then you could say I'm a full on junkie.

bees have stingers and are not my friend!!!!!!!
they are flying weapons and enemy of the species
bees are not aware they die when they sting so they will sting freely

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bit early lad

west london. it's about 23 degrees out there today lad, the grass is definitely still growing.

incel

Whats this Ujimbo?

n klx ol

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youtube.com/watch?v=vNQVcB-X1p0

a fistful of dollars

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have no quarrel with wasps or bees

moths are the true nemeses of the white man

t. convict desensitized to insects

why melvin why

moths are fucking idiots but you can NEVER trust an arachnoid

good lad

think i experienced a bout of g.e.r.d. while i was sleeping last night
i woke up coughing violently and the back of my mouth/throat felt very tender
bit worrying

Fucking Southerners with their sunshine. I haven't had to mow the lawn for the past two weeks. Might give it another once over to lift the leaves next week though.

moths don't sting or bite though so who cares

Twitter trends in US: #WhiteWomanCallsThePolice

Ah yes

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spiders are niggers

incels

moths are adorable

aussies literally keep guard spiders
they employ huntsmen to kill other insects

Anyone else in their mid 20s and finding that their friends are increasingly going alcohol-free? It's frustrating desu, just want to get pissed with the lads on the weekend but no one's keen for it anymore

The grave is horrible to every knight,
when the corpse quickly begins to cool
and is laid in the bosom of the dark earth.
Prosperity declines, happiness passes away
and covenants are broken.

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regretted writing this as soon as i clicked submit, spiders are based i just cant stand the sight of them
flies are the true niggers

>catch moth in a glass
>leave it there overnight
>open the glass
>fucking stinks

moths are right farters

bees only get pissed if you go messing with/near their hive mostly
leave them alone

bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-45802999

all insects are wogs

i do lad. big fan of the bee, me

you have oestrogen-enriched friends

once waved a bee towards someone else on the playground and she cried and i got penalised

Knew it was something

bees break the NAP all the time when they come close to me or my beverages

beans always spill in the microwave

> i got penalised
bloke run out waving a red card did he

ooh look at me I do alcohol and strip clubs and bloody nandos ooh look at me ooh

this also poles, germans and balkans despise us
russians hate ukranians and to a lesser extent americans and europeans

once stood near a spastic in the playground and got bollocked for invading his personal space

>Too expensive
That's why you pre-drink

>stopped drinking when I was pregnant
Doesn't apply to me because I don't hang out with working class runts who have kids at the age of 17

>my depression is more manageable when I'm sober

Probably posted by a narcissistic roastie who's obsessed with her appearance on social media

True

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Have another soy latte lad.

have now matched with 3 different birds who don't drink. disaster dates, the first two. unmatched when the third said she didn't drink. some sober bird sitting watching me get more and more pissed isn't a good night for anyone.

what kind of untermensch can't drink without having a hangover
are these the types of people that get wasted on the weekends instead of drinking every day

don't be rude

Just want to go round and sink a few bevvies at one of my mate's houses, and then maybe go to a bar/club for a few hours, is that too much to ask? I thought that was normal for single people in their 20s instead of staying in every Friday and Saturday night

what happened regarding the kiwi gf?

bet you buy that microwaved rustlers burger for 89p from aldi

extremely large brain

Why are Jewish men on average so much more intelligent than British men?

Might wank again.
What should I wank to?

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Yep. And?

get some new friends and hope whatever your old ones have isn't contagious

Got the acoustic guitar and the microphone out lads, give me a song to record

it is lad you need better m8s

pornography

even 1st year uni students stayed in in my flat
of course we had one problem girl who wanted to "get the uni experience WOO" but most of us were boring cunts who stayed in and worked.

Is there really reason to do that once you have a job though?
Jobs don't give you homework - do they?