1. you are vagina

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I tried to cancel before but the girl there was really mean and I lost my spaghooters halfway through the conversation and had to leave quickly. Almost forgot my popcorn-bag.

>these filthy apes see themselves as the 3rd Rome

because I do not live in a corporatist hellhole, shampoo is freely available in all the cinemas, thank you very much

>disgustineg ossi
>not third world
hmmmmm

>I tried to cancel before but the girl there was really mean
Tell me you are just fucking with me, just like the shower thing.

No one is this retarded, not even by german standards.

big kek

>finish watching movie in the utopia that is Germany
>grab shower cap from dispenser outside cinema door

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"hello, how can I help you?"
"y-yes, hello, I..."
"Could you stop mumbling? please speak up?"
"I WANT TO DISCARD CINEMA"
"why?"
"w-why?"
"What is your reason? Do you not like the movies we are showing? You know you have to give a reason or I am legally obligated to refuse your cancellation."
"Th-the showers..."
"sir, please speak up."
"THE SHOWERS ARE DIRTY"
"Sir, there is no need to yell, please remain calm or I will be forced to call Cinepolice"
"I-i must go"

>waddle away
>remember I forgot my hand-embroidered popcorn-bag
>go back to get it
>see girl whispering with some lanky black dude and pointing at me
>run away

Do you have to bring your own towel?

>Be American
>watch latest movie about interracial couples dfeating white villain
>very excited, very sweaty
>insert 50$ bill into automated shower
>undress and have foreskin (or rather lack thereof) inspected
>watch a three-minute commercial
>shower with water yellow from fracking
>watch another 30 second commercial before door unlocks
>leave
>get shot

most people do, but there are vendors going through the rows and selling them for like a Euro or so, together with icecream and snacks and such

>Cinema
>showers

are cinema showers not a thing outside europe? how else do you want to wash yourself after a long movie?

In your house lmao

maybe it's like bidets. Non-Europeans just don't understand them. May be the frontier-spirit or something idk.

well what if I don't want to go home just yet, hmm? have some dinner, have some drinks? all while reeking of sweat? do poeple do this in chile or do they all just sprint right home?

>/tv/ crossposters
It's a tv meme

>showers
Is that the reason why cinemas in Germany are so damn expensive? When i was walking around Alexanderplatz i almost fainted from the prices

I GOT FUCKING BANNED FROM THE CINEMA SHOWERS BECAUSE I WENT INTO THE WOMAN'S SHOWER. NOW I'M STUCK WORKING OFF MY """"CRIME"""" IN THE POPCORN MINES. FUCK CINEMA CAPITALIST PATRIARCHY

I AM A WOMAN. I WILL NOT BE ERASED

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no, the showers are relatively easy to maintain (or at least you should think so...)
what really drives up the prices are the massages, because you need at öeast one chink for each customer. two or three cinemas actually stopped doing them altogether, which caused a MASSIVE outrage by conservatives in Hamburg.

>they're like small chambers with a device near the ceiling that emits water
Germany at it again... wadn't eliminating jews enough for you?

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the last popcorn mines in Germany were closed in 1960 lol. do you still have them in the US?

What's the singles policy regarding cinema showers in Germany?

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>tfw the movie ends and the crowd is herded towards the cinema gas chambers.

hate when that happens

if you don't bring a gf you will be provided one for the duration of the movie. but they're kinda ugly and they all tape their holes shut

C-can they follow you in the showers?

they use the showers for employees, obviously

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lets just make this a /tv/ hate thread

>he takes showers in the cinema
>he takes showers in public bathrooms anyone could have used
>he gets naked and takes a fucking shower in public places
>he needs to take a shower after sitting in a dark room for 2 hours doing nothing besides eating and watching a fucking movie
>he takes a towel to the cinema
>he washes himself with public shampoo and soap
>he doesn't just go home and take a shower there like normal people
>HE TAKES SHOWERS IN A FUCKING CINEMA

1 vagina
2 havent seen any showers there

Walmart installed a few

>I'm autistic
Would have never guessed user

The Virgin "Cinema Shower"
The Chad "Rain Shower" (standing completely nude in pouring rain in public)

We had some, but unfortunately birdshit from people's theater falcons got stuck in the drains. I had to have my penis inspection and non-single certification done in the lobby, was pretty embarrassing.

>penis inspection
>Penis inspection
>PENIS INSPECTION
how do people even live in the first world?

It's for health and safety reasons. If an uncircumcised person in the theater he could get smegma on things.

Wew lad, solid chuckle.

>he could get smegma on things.
nigga you go to the cinema to watch a fucking movie, your dick stays in your pants unless you have to pee
what do americans do at cinemas

Why do you think Hollywood movies have those sex scenes in them? I'm certain that in more prudish countries you can't whip it out and relieve your frustration, but here it's different. It's hard to concentrate over the smell of fish tacos sometimes.

>he masturbates at the fucking cinema
you can't masturbate in public you complete fucking moralless degenerate
here normalniggers have casual sex and suck each others' genitals off like on degenerate countries like yours so you can't say this is a "prudish" country yet no one masturbates at the cinema
if you want to masturbate watch the fucking movie at home goddammit
that shit is called public indecency and it's a crime for a reason

alri granpa

It's not the public though, it's private property

you're still masturbating on the same room as a bunch of people you don't even know, all because you can't control yourself over some cheesy erotic scene
no wonder you need cinema showers
i'm 22 you piece of shit

what's it like still living in the 19th century?

>having at least a bit of decency equals to living in the 19th century
one would think that with all those religion of peace refugees germany would be at least slightly more prudish

look f.am, we don't do the penis inspection meme in Germany because that's racist and antisemitic. But in a modern society there is NO REASON why you shouldn't be allowed to massage yourself a little while watching a movie, so long as you're being discrete about it. It just doesn't hurt anyone. it IS, however, a lot more unacceptable to just walk around town stinking like an animal after you came out of the cinema without showering. it's a matter of public hygiene. It's part of what makes a society modern.

don't they have air conditioners on cinemas?

ACs are taxed heavily in Europe because they are bad for the environment. it's better to go green and have public showers.

No showers but American cinemas all have no singles policy so haven't been to a movie theater since highschool and that was with a group of friends.

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>it IS, however, a lot more unacceptable to just walk around town stinking like an animal after you came out of the cinema without showering.
if you don't want to stink then don't fucking masturbate in the cinema
it's not like you run a fucking marathon, you just sit there doing nothing besides watching a movie, if you properly wash yourself before going to the cinema you won't stink.
>But in a modern society there is NO REASON why you shouldn't be allowed to massage yourself a little
there is, it's called decency and morals and having those two is a requirement for any so-called civilized country.

>if you properly wash yourself before going to the cinema you won't stink.
and that's where you're wrong, kiddo. have you ever sat through a 7-hour screening of Das Boot with a Live Orchestra and cinema personnel in WWII navy uniforms going coming the rows to immerse you even farther? It's an incredibly suspenseful experience, the whole cinema ended up smelling JUST like you would expect a German U-boat to smell after three months at sea. You probably only know Hollywood productions, I don't blame you for not knowing real suspense. Hollywood is streamlined to allow easy digestion.

that shit doesn't happen irl hans.

That's a lie, you're just telling yourself that because seeing a movie alone is super awkward

yes it does juan. i know because i was there. and I tell you, i was VER FUCKING HAPPY to have a shower at hand when the credits rolled, even if I didn't masturbate at all (this time)

you're baiting at this point

its german humor. Don't bother.

Its the truth. Americans hate singles, especially american movie theaters.