Resume Rate Thread

Can some anons give me some advice? I'm currently at university studying Math and Physics (joint undergrad) and i'm trying to find a part-time job as i'm about to get kicked of my parents house in about 3 months. Every job i apply to requires at least one years experience (entry level) but i have none, i also have no references as i have never been employed, all my previous teachers have left my high school from what i know, and i have nobody in my shitty family who are professionals to write one. Iv'e did the math, if i work up to 15 hours a week a can make enough to live in the student accommodations and be able to afford food and any other needs. My resume (CV where i live) has no experience or references.

How fucked am i?

These threads were common before crip toe

You need to include an 'objective' section of a couple of sentences to indicate why you did all this stuff and what you want to do now. Otherwise it just looks like you are showing off about having collected a series of badges.
>eg. My objective is to apply/expand my skills in A to do B. Your company/university will help me because C. My long-term aim is to integrate A, B and C to do D.

Seems fine to me. "Ivy League" should be capitalized though.

convince your parents to not kick you out by getting on their good side, get a fast food job if you have to ffs

Full autist, would hire and place in position suitable for an ant

So what if they are factual? Someone is going to read that and think that you're a cunt. Demonstrate your ability to inject some humility into your resume.

What did he mean by this? It looks great to me.

I cant convince them. I live in a culture where you have to accept personal responsibility from a young age even if you can't afford it - live in a pretty rough area in Scotland. Just to give you some context, my older brother was kicked out at 17 and was homeless for 3 months before he managed to pick himself up, it's like us Scots have no sympathy for even our own family.

LOL... the tech shit. Whatever

I run a commercial real estate company. We hire guys like this not really knowing what they do. Pay like $100,000 to start and let them work from home.

There was no “before crypto.” Jow Forums was created as a containment board for crypto discussion, populated by exiles from Jow Forums.

Are you saying it's a good or bad resume then? Mine looks similar to OP's.

Kek no it wasnt

Exactly what I said in my first post.

By the time it gets to me three other people who know about tech shit will have approved it. I'd just look at it, roll my eyes, and say whatever hire the guy.

The formatting looks good, and it's got a great list of skills. I just think it comes off a bit like OP thinks he's the greatest thing ever. Which is perfectly fine, but you can't let the person hiring you know that.

What a fucking larp. Anybody with this resume would not be asking a bunch of basement dwellers for their opinions. “Your” resume makes you very qualified but your application in making a Jow Forums thread proves to me that you’re really a fucking retard.

Factual cunt, you can be factual without being one

Yeah this here. Should have mentioned the arrogance is the only thing that would have been off-putting.

Tech guys need to understand they're here to support the broader mission of our organization and aren't here to showcase whatever the fuck it is that they do.

Facilitate the continued success of a commercial real estate company and be cool.

1. Not putting your GPA next to your degree is a red flag for employers
2. Nobody cares about high school shit after you have a college degree

What's the best way to maximize my diversity points when applying to jobs?

I have partial vision loss from an autoimmune disease and I've been checking the "I have a disability form" when applying to jobs, but should I elaborate on what the specific disability is in my cover letter? It's just patches of my peripheral vision so it doesn't affect my ability to do the job and I can still drive. Also how to play off the fact that I have to wear these douchey looking sunglasses to interviews because light hurts my eyes?

You need to list you hobbies like anime and rope jumping

Implying anyone cares about the degree. I interview people and I see a degree, it doesn't matter if they have no experience. I'll take the guy with experience and no degree more often than the guy with the degree. Most people forget everything they learned in college by the day after the test anyway. Sounds like you have a degree you want to believe is more valuable than it is.

LOL

If this faggot put GPA on there into the bin it goes

>wage cucks

I learned to do resumes from professors who screen chemistry PhD applicants

There's a zero percent chance that's your resume you fucking homo lmao.

In fact, the only other time that comically over the top resume was uploaded was here, by someone trolling and asking why they can't find a job

Another LARP thread, sage, report, hide, and move on with your day people.

Anyone? I could really use some advice on this.

Looking for a job? Check out TribalScale.

They won't even look at your resume.

You just gotta code. 5-6 figures depending on skill.

Thank me later.

I was on the team that won dbf this year faggot.

+1 for both of these

But I made that thread last night. I don't get it. If your resume is bad people think you're incompetent and you don't get hired. If your resume is good then people don't believe you and you still don't get hired. I really can't win here.

You just have to change how you word it so it doesn't sound obnoxious while still emphasizing your strengths. For example, in the 2nd place contest entry you should cut out the "ahead of other teams from ivy league universities."

ok op which one is you?

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Me on the far left. :^)

For real? My autism is showing too much rn

>mfw only cswa

Cswp or gtfo

If this is your first or even second job you need to put your GPA.

You talk big hopefully back it up with decent GPA

assuming you're not a dick, go to a place where you're a familiar customer and talk to the manager. be nice, tell him you're a hard worker, and you're a customer because you like the place and ask him if he has any part time work you could do. don't ask if he's hiring - people's automatic response is to say no. it'll take a few times to get good at having that conversation, so don't start with the place you'd most like to work.

>impressive.jpg

Alright I'll bite. Whats the work?

>he took the time to blot out a resume for Jow Forums

pls respond

lmao liar
pic related is there "apply for job" form.
They literally ask for a resume

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Rate my resume Jow Forums

>ended high school in 2007
>NEET since

>high school experience

Good resume but get that shit off of there. I literally lol'd when i saw that.

heres my resume, am I fucked?

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