>nothing feels better than this
>every time I get a gain on a 10% trade I reward myself with the vaccum
>the vibrations are better than a woman
>easy to clean just throw the tube in the laundry after finish
Is there a reason why no one here doing this? It unironically feels better than a woman because you can do it as much as you want.
T. Incel who made it from crypto who loves his vaccum cleaner
you sad bastard
...
you sad bastard with a nasty fupa
my dick does not fit, good for you user
Incels need to be gassed
>Degenerate
can't that unironically rip your dick off?
you can connect a wide pipe to the vacuum
You can fuck up your penis tubes. I would highly advise not doing this.
involuntarily celibate. That means that the womens think you are a bad reproduction partner. they have decided to not continue your blood line. thats fucking sad this day and age.
try a pool cleaner vacuum while underwater, especially with a heated pool, it will give you the best orgasm of your entire life. the fans rapidly but gently smack the head of your dick while giving really strong suction. obviously stick your fingers in first to make sure it's safe, not every pool vacuum is the same. I've had blowjobs from 3 different women and 4 different men, I've used vacuums, cock-pumps, fleshlights, vibrators... and NOTHING compares to the pool cleaner. I'm not even fucking kidding right now, if you get the chance, try it. the only thing that is even remotely close to how good that pool vacuum felt was straight up vaginal sex with this fat chick who had a really warm snatch, it was like sticking my dick into a wet loaf of banana bread straight out of the oven, and yes this fucking pool cleaner vacuum was better than that. I don't own a pool or else I'd be doing it every day. unfortunately the owner of the pool caught me doing it so I'm not allowed to be within 1000 feet of his house anymore but it was so fucking worth it, I'm telling you that fucking pool vacuum is like heaven. honestly the only reason I even want to get rich is so I can afford my own house with a heated pool and of course a pool vacuum. I can't wait to buy a dozen different brands and styles of pool cleaners and fuck them all. I live for that day to come.
>You'll never reward your cock with the pure pleasure of the vacum.
Why go on lads.
saved.
you need to be executed.
>rips your dick off
>loves every minute of it.
Is this a new copy pasta?
I need to know the brand of vaccume. I need this sublime pleasure in my life now.
it is now
what in the fuck is going on in this thread
Best friend made a cock pump with a empty clear caulk tube connected to a squeeze bulb for siphoning gas. Tube wasn't rigid enough, and collapsed under the suction, crushing his dick. Told me how panicked, and instead of pulling the hose from the tip of the tube and letting air back in, he pulled the tube violently from his pecker. I'd never seen him cry until he told me that story. I can't wait to bring it up to him in conversation in front of his new ultra-Christian wife.
Kek
you should always test any device like that with your fingers or something. you can't fuck around with this type of stuff, you gotta be safe, because you only get one dick. for instance, I didn't just dive into the nearest pool and start fucking the pool cleaner of a complete stranger. these people were one of my wife's best massage therapy clients, and they had a really nice house with a huge pool and hot tub. we were invited over for a bbq one day, and that's when I first noticed the pool cleaner vacuum. I've had my fair share of vacuums in the past, but never a pool cleaner. it was right then I realized that I would do anything to fuck that pool cleaner vacuum. every time I came over I made an effort to take a dip in their pool, which would increase my chances of being left alone for just long enough to have my way with the pool cleaner vacuum. the problem is, the pool cleaner vacuum wasn't always in the pool, which made things even more complicated. to make a long story short, eventually I did find my opportunity. me, my wife, and the couple were hanging out in the hot tub and eventually all 3 of them decided they wanted to go inside and get ready for dinner. of course I told them I wanted to stay a little longer, and maybe take a dip in the pool: which of course had the pool cleaner vacuum going. as soon as everyone was inside, I jumped into the pool, which was only slightly colder than the hot tub thanks to the pool heater. I immediately swam over and stuck a finger inside to see if it was safe. sure enough, I felt the gentle fan blades tickling my finger with such an amazing suction feeling. without hesitation, I pulled my swim trunks down and stuck my penis inside. it was heavenly bliss. within no more than 30 seconds I had one of the most powerful orgasms of my entire life, I was literally stunned from the feeling. the best part is I didn't even get caught until my third encounter with the pool cleaner vacuum... those were the good days.
I'd also like to point out that I'm divorced right now but it wasn't because of the pool cleaner thing
>obviously stick your fingers in first to make sure it's safe
oh ok
better to lose a finger than to lose your dick.
I can't believe this isn't copypasta
finally a sensible person on Jow Forums
You are pansexual.
>No other sizes of this image found.
Every copypasta starts out as OC. Remember this day, brother.
Put me in the screencap
gb2reddit
Before I was quizzical, but this makes it.
You really fucked that pool vacuum.
Legend
Please post a picture of what this pool vacuum looks like... I thought you meant the Water suction pipe, which has been known to deglove entire intestinal tracts
What does your portfolio look like user? I want to see what will put me into the fastlane for prime pool pussy.
truly a beautiful moment in Jow Forums history
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
INSTANT COPY PASTA. SAVED.
No kidding eh. Can you tell us more about your divorce? I'm fascinated by your determination.
it's like one of these robotic pool cleaners that drives around the surface and cleans the pool. sadly I don't know the exact brand that the guy had. I tried to call him on the phone a couple weeks after the incident and he was really frustrated with me and said "what the fuck do you want". I told him I called to apologize, etc. and then I tried to ask him what the brand and model of his pool cleaner was and he just hung up on me. I tried emailing him but I never got a reply.
mostly just holding BTC right now, I used to have LTC/DOGE/BCH/ETH/XMR and a few obscure ones like VOX but turned most of them into BTC.
>come to Jow Forums hoping for a good laugh at some idiots trading crypto (losing their ass)
>see this
I really am not worthy
you should always test any device like that with your fingers or something. you can't fuck around with this type of stuff, you gotta be safe, because you only get one dick. for instance, I didn't just dive into the nearest pool and start fucking the pool cleaner of a complete stranger. these people were one of my wife's best massage therapy clients, and they had a really nice house with a huge pool and hot tub. we were invited over for a bbq one day, and that's when I first noticed the pool cleaner vacuum. I've had my fair share of vacuums in the past, but never a pool cleaner. it was right then I realized that I would do anything to fuck that pool cleaner vacuum. every time I came over I made an effort to take a dip in their pool, which would increase my chances of being left alone for just long enough to have my way with the pool cleaner vacuum. the problem is, the pool cleaner vacuum wasn't always in the pool, which made things even more complicated. to make a long story short, eventually I did find my opportunity. me, my wife, and the couple were hanging out in the hot tub and eventually all 3 of them decided they wanted to go inside and get ready for dinner. of course I told them I wanted to stay a little longer, and maybe take a dip in the pool: which of course had the pool cleaner vacuum going. as soon as everyone was inside, I jumped into the pool, which was only slightly colder than the hot tub thanks to the pool heater. I immediately swam over and stuck a finger inside to see if it was safe. sure enough, I felt the gentle fan blades tickling my finger with such an amazing suction feeling. without hesitation, I pulled my swim trunks down and stuck my penis inside. it was heavenly bliss. within no more than 30 seconds I had one of the most powerful orgasms of my entire life, I was literally stunned from the feeling. the best part is I didn't even get caught until my third encounter with the pool cleaner vacuum... those were the good days.