Tfw diarrhea at work

>tfw diarrhea at work

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gotta keep some wet wipes on ya always just in case

xD

how do we monetize this

Short the company op works at. Stock will go down as a result of decreased productivity resulting from op shitting his pants.

We short the market.

Aka we sell shorts outside of OP's workplace since he's too dumb to superglue his asshole shit like a normal functioning member of society

Take a picture of the toilet, before and after.
Tell your boss you might have to make extra toilet trips.

Worst case scenario nothing happens.
Medium case, he understands toilet trips and you get paid to shit.
Best case you are sent home for the afternoon.

Short pants, long sharts.

go home

Topkek

Lose weight you fat fuck.
or eat some proper food, not this processed, tapeworm-ridden mutt import shit.

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kek

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Diarrhea happens when you eat expired food or not fully washed too, dumbass.

Go 100x long on toilet paper companies

>litteraly paid to poo in the loo
>free toilet paper
what's not to like ?

Go home sick you fucking cunt. If i worked with you and got liquid ass because you didn't go sick, id fucking shit on your face

I have diarrhea too user, can't even enjoy Nintendo's E3 presentation properly, feelsbadman.

>be wagecuck
>have to take a shit
>take phone charger with me as I leave my desk and tell the blonde hottie working next to me that I‘m going to take a big fat ogre shit
>go downstairs to the retard toilet
>has lots of room in it so retards in wheelchairs can fit in
>undress completely and proceed to take a shit naked can stretch legs out comfortable
>browse the internet on my phone til my ass is empty
>shit for over 1 hour everyday at work (sometimes 2)

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Do your legs not go numb?

This. Best time to have the shits is at work. Just better hope it clears up before you gotta drive home.

I‘m a Veteran shitter, I‘m used to this.

I have this problem too, but my shits have been soft and dark red for the past 3 days.

>Do I have dysentery guys?

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its probably colon cancer

RIP, bro

Fuck off you're lying

nice pasta, if you know what I mean

thats a rough one, user
my condolences

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plot twist:

OP is femanon

>tfw diarrhea every single day

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>dark red for the past 3 days.
you`re bleeding, you dumb fuck

or, you know
when youre fucking sick

god damn you guys act like youve never had a really bad flu before

>>tfw diarrhea at work
>Go 100x long on toilet paper companies

this is some hedge fund wizardry

Stop eating out so much and wash your hands before you eat you fucking degenerate.

>tfw haven't had diarrhea in almost 10 years
>tfw regulated bowel movements every day

sitting on the toilet that long isnt healthy