Have you ever served in your cunts military?

Yeah, for 4 years. Best and worst time of my life.

I FORGOT TO DRINK WATER ALL DAY FUCKK

Do normies masturbate when they're in basic training?
I went 3 months without touching my dick.

are you that paratrooper that fought at Debalzewe?

Yep. I would go to the bathroom when I had fireguard watch and jerk off my whole shift

No, you need top grades and perfect health/mental health.

Probably will next year
Pray for me laddies

I jerked at any moment i could. About 5 times a day. Minimum. I had smartphone with a lot of porn though.

my dad is armor officer, he told me to N E V E R join basic/infantry/conscript/volunteer military
>the manuvers these shitty low training, low priority, low equipment forces engage in
walking over minefields to spare more valuable troops when you are in a hurry and dont have time
bait enemy artillery to shoot at you, so the artillery spotters can counter fire
test out enemy front, see how much heavy machineguns and mortars and how many howitzers per mile of front they have by suicide charges

this leaves only 2 remaining types of military you should be in: professional and private
>what's the big difference
professional (high command, recon, armor, officers, specialists, nco/sarges/instructors, special forces) know what they are doing, they dont have to do boring stuff aka shaving and tidying up your bed every half a second, are better paid, are better equipped, and can generally survive
BUT
unlike private army, they cant say no to the orders, they have to take defensive tasks such as waiting to get shot and so on, and cant re negotiate their pay...

>tl;dr
dont do army, kids
do school, get relevant/useful formal education (most engineerings come to mind), be fit and join the pros/private

hell naw nigga

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I did 4 years in the U.S. Coast Guard

No, military is for the lowest scum

Yeah

I did and it sucked and was boring 90% of the time like any other job, you do find the same ammount of retards if not worse that in the civilian sector because at least in the civilian world you'd get fired for being retarded and a hazard.

10% actual legit shit enjoyable part of the job you get to meet a lot of unique people who can be chill or just straight up beasts at what they do. I guess I can't even talk since I didn't get a real job like combat arms

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Nope. Imagine singing up to go kill random people for no reason, and also see your new friends get killed for no reason.

I jerked all the time, we all did.

We had a designated jerking toilet where we hid porn magazines.

Tried for one month and didn't like taking orders so I quit. I thought it would be more relaxed

Faggot

i wish (not really), no i've been in syria in current year.

not my cup of tea

Did you start GMU or was it still conscription?

GMU

I see. GMU in general has been a clusterfuck. There’s been a decline in quality of the training since many of the good instructors jumped ship when conscription ended.

Where do Russian get deployed to? Syria? Ukraine?

been in combat? and what kind of unit?

would you get kicked out of the army for jerking off to traps?

A Canadian....in The coast guard? How? I thought the military was anal about accepting only citizens

arty, well i never had to use my firearm to defend myself, but we were mortared and shelled few times. overall i had a great time.

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where did you fight? Idlib? and are you professional or conscript?

there no conscripts in such places, we worked in daara and suwayda.

I have American citizenship too, I was born there.

did we ever bomb you

interesting
good luck to you in case you have to fight again

thank you, i may.
no, you collaborated with us

>porn magazines
what year is this?

Conscripted
07-08 kontingent

Vietnam...

You're not welcome in Syria

You're not welcome in Syria

I don't care.

>thought the military was anal about accepting only citizens
Nope

thebalancecareers.com/can-a-non-u-s-citizen-join-the-united-states-military-3354092

I'm Syrian.

This

Russian murderer and a thief.

I'm Syrian.

What's wrong with you Finland? Calm down please. What did I do?

Murder people and steal from them. Kys.

your cunt murdered 250,000 innocent russians whilst collaborating with the nazis
finns are the bad guys

And if you are Syrian that's not up to you anymore to decide who you welcomed and who not since you just abandon your country and flee to US.
I didn't do such things, why are you wishing me dead?

05-06
We weren’t allowed to have internet access

>*tries to starve Finns to death by stopping Finnish sea trade through Petsamo*
>"s-s-stop collaborating with the nazis"

Well another question. Can an American join the Canadian army just as easy?

the blood is on your hands you finngolian animal

You're not welcome in Syria

>served in 2008
>2 month until demobilization (dunno how to translate it tho)
>conflict with Georgia just broke out
>got sent to the border
>4 more month at the border patrolling stuff
JUST

Gotta side with finland on this one. Should have teamed up with the Nazis and exterminated communism first, But here we are now...

Well more pay for you, am I right?

Yes
USMC

>Well more pay for you, am I right?
>pay
Yeah, r-right

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No. Got exempted from conscription

disabled freak

Nah, I used to be too fat to be drafted

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Oh fuck seriously? Damn I'm sorry man. What do you do these days after the army?

No. Just lied them that I have tinnitus.

coward

Yeah, I somehow managed to be caught in the last year of conscription (spring of 2004).

Then they cut it by three months, and I demonstratively put the flag between my arse cheeks to celebrate the occasion and spent my last two weeks in the solitary, lmao.

Why would I want to waste year of my life in the army? Fuck that. The State has no right to put me in forced labour just because of my gender.

Yes, 13 months as a conscript.
Was aight.

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I unironically saw a 20 minute vision with me having a threesome with my Sminias"air sergeant" and my Lohias "ground sergeant".
First was a ATC tsundere type with glasses while the other was an eternall olive skinned deep rural Greek nymph.

It was probably the best wank I ever had.

Bluebloods...

They didn't stick you in logistics or something?
That used to happen to fatties here.

They assign you a role only after all medical checks. If you are not fit to serve, that's it.

Yeah same as here then.
But used to be that you had to have some serious medical issue to not have to serve.
So if you were fat you'd be put in some softer, easier role with the reasoning that you'd get in shape as you went.

Longer than you've been alive.

Well, I was 135 kg heavy, that's pretty serious in my book. But honestly, it's pretty easy to dodge the draft over here. Fake high blood pressure, claim insanity, dig deeper into your medical history, there are no perfectly healthy people. For brainlets who can't do that, there are companies who help you with that for a hefty sum. It's legit though, I am not talking about bribery here.

Don't forget your daily haircut

Is it really as bad as it's memed?

And yeah I have long hair and didn't want to lose it. That might be the main reason.

What, the military? It's a crapshoot. You can get lucky, and receive some decent training. Or you could waste a whole year sculpting snow, painting grass green, sweeping the base grounds, which is probably the most common outcome. If you are unlucky, however, you could be hazed to near death by your fellow soldiers or have your legs amputated because your pants on head retarded CO ordered you to go stand naked in the snow or something.

been thinking about joining because I'm sick of dead end jobs and wouldn't mind getting killed

No, the American military has been used dishonorably for decades and I want nothing to do with it. Nothing against soldiers or vets though.

Yeah the military. I've talked to a couple of russians and most of them are/were scared shitless about military service. Some to the point where they considered self-mutilation. I just can't understand why you'd treat your soldiers like that.

>so I quit
Is it just that simple in Sweden? Here, you sign away your freedom when you join.

After they canned the draft, yeah it is.

It used to be 10x worse PLUS the possibility of being sent to Chechnya and having your head cut off with a dull rusty knife.
>I just can't understand why you'd treat your soldiers like that.
It's often soldiers doing that to each other, not their superiors, although that happens too sometimes. I mean, what do you expect to happen when anyone with half a brain dodges, legit or no, leaves, or joins the professional army. They are not conscripting our best.

No

I should have served in spite of being a shitty college student and a wage slave after graduation from high school.

No, i said Z instead of 2 and SNAKE instead of 9 with the colorful dots book.

How many professional soldiers does russia have?

I tried to

Med hold haha