Why is it so hard to get a job?

>unironically listing Yale when you took some open courseware bullshit
>going on to work at fucking Gamestop next month

holy shit just neck yourself

Firefox isn't a skill you fucking ding dong

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Lol, let's start a ponzi coin based on shorting.

That “fund manger” job sounds so made up and full of bullshit

oh no, im a nerd. This guys a 100% neckbeard with prop no way of getting real job. (Nerds make fuccton of money nigga)

Fund manager but no Series 7 or CFA?

lols. nice larp

only put the information relevant to the company you will work for in your CV. no one gives a shit if you like anime or know how to watch youtube videos using firefox (also, wtf do you mean by "conventions"?)

you could add "proficient user of windows, mac and linux" or something, but only if necesary

use more generic terms, and lie if you need too (you've only used mac once? put it there anyway), but don't lie at specific stuff that only specialists know ( ), because your lie will be obvious to them

I guess if put "self-taught fund manager", trainee, freelancing or some shit, that won't look too bad (it would show that you are not an expert in the area, but are willing to to learn)

not sure if you need the NYSE stuff

I'm not an econ guy, so I don't know what other info could be useful in your CV

also, if you did an online course, then specify it as such

Just be honest, be yourself

dunno. I've always found employment no problems

r/resumes

Delete all of your interests. Replace them with a more 'professional' set like Technology, Windows, Gaming, Crypto. And for the LOVE OF GOD, especially delete Imageboards.

There's nothing wrong with being a weeb, but it adds no value to you as an employee. Employers don't want to even hear about it. Every single word on your resume must add value.

>must add value.
Edit: must be carefully crafted to add value.

wallstreetoasis.com/forums/what-are-some-good-interests-for-a-resume-0

"I had collecting sneakers on mine, and I got asked about it during the interview. Also, I'm pretty sure they sent me out for drinks with a recruiter and told them I was a sneaker head because the manager they sent collected Yeezys and other sneakers."

>I also had competitive eSports on mine, as I was part of my college's team. Apparently, the one of the local big4 posted a poll in their lobby about "are eSports real sports" and had a huge debate about my resume lmao.

"Very similar experience here, I had sneakers listed as an interest and spent the first five minutes of a thirty minute interview talking about sneakers with a B4 partner. I would highly recommend leaving NBA on there since sports are pretty universal. I would definitely take Reddit off though.

I disagree with the idea that listed interests may seem "unprofessional". I would hope that firms aren't going to expect your interests to be "Excel, tax law and ASC standards"."

create your own job

>Walmart
>Cash Management Specialist

Ah, America, Land of the Corndog

Another tip: Place everything in the order from most valuable to least valuable.

In your Skills section, 'Financial Modeling' should be top of the list because that is Galaxy Brain level stuff. Next should be GIMP. Then the MSOffice things. Delete Firefox because everyone on earth can use a web browser. Delete Chart Reading as well, because it's not self-explanatory and its already covered by Financial Modeling. 100+ WPM is OK, but you should replace it in the future when you learn something new.

I guess I just haven't had any luck doing that myself. Fair point.

How many newfags are on this fucking board sperging out about this classic resume bait? And some guy unironically told OP to go to a subreddit for help. No wonder this place is shit. Fuck you all.This place has turned into reddit, a bunch of failed normans trying to one up each other.

FUCK YOU CORNDOGS ARE DELICIOUS

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Just realized this lie destroyed me romantically and financially

Someone kill me pls

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no one gives a shit about the interests of a corporate drone. those are anecdotes, nothing else.
put some random shit that could be seen as useful to your enslaver, use generic terms, you'll just be another cog in the machine anyway

bee yourself

Because

Shorting is the only way to make money in Crypto now. Shorting literally is the new paradigm of crypto. I’m going to spread this on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube everything everywhere. Everywhere and everyone, Short short short short short short!!!!! Short to -$0 !!! Until not even 1 penny is left and then the BTC ceo will owe me money :) Did you not hear that everyone is shorting now? Omg like shorting is brilliant! BTC will ofc go down forever. You didn’t think that it would stop going down did you? Didn’t you hear? $5k by end of minute, $4k by end of hour, $1k end of day, and triple digits back to sub $100 end of week!! Shorting is the best way to success!! I’m writing a book on shorting. Shorters, bears and bitmex foreverrrrrr and everrrrre!!!

>have 3 jobs
>looking for another

Ahahahga so many newfags not realizing this meme.

OP doesn't realise that Human Resources is staffed 90% by females and that they will laugh at OP for being a virgin artist weeaboo who only has worked at walmart. OP as advice get some wholesome normie hobbies like hiking, camping, fishing and sports and talk to people within the industry for a start because with that resume you're not even going to get a human written reply email just a automated rejection email.

Because your resume fucking sucks. Nobody gives a shit if you did anything at a Gamestop you fucking idiot, that's number one. Number two, being a "property manager" and in your case a glorified handyman isn't relevant to fucking anything unless you want to manage a few lawns for a landscaping company or the golf carts at a country club.

Your interests make you look like a turbo autist.

A Walmart credential is fucking worthless.

This is obviously a low key troll this resume is retarded.

I sure hope I can het a job soon, but in the mean time shorting is the only way to make money in Crypto now. Shorting literally is the new paradigm of crypto. I’m going to spread this on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube everything everywhere. Everywhere and everyone, Short short short short short short!!!!! Short to -$0 !!! Until not even 1 penny is left and then the BTC ceo will owe me money :) Did you not hear that everyone is shorting now? Omg like shorting is brilliant! BTC will ofc go down forever. You didn’t think that it would stop going down did you? Didn’t you hear? $5k by end of minute, $4k by end of hour, $1k end of day, and triple digits back to sub $100 end of week!! Shorting is the best way to success!! I’m writing a book on shorting. Shorters, bears and bitmex foreverrrrrr and everrrrre!!!

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tldr, but need cause you're a poor fag

>maintained a high level of graciousness

niggas be Audrey Hepburn up in here

trumbull 2017 here.

how the fuck did you manage not to pick up any technical skills during your 4 years. no wonder its hard to get a job.

you forgot to censor one important bit lmao

yeah shouldn't have excel, powerpoint either. and no interests

Correction, sweetie. Corn based plantdogs are ripping savory on the tippity two boo with cherry wang 'n' gopie humb.

>HTML/CSS, javascript
cringe