/brit/

Prime Minister in waiting edition

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waterwelders.com/smoothest-path-to-an-underwater-welding-career/
youtu.be/c8UVMiL8Z-Y
twitter.com/AnonBabble

imagine working on an oil rig

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national greggs service NOW

>live for 4 months on a shitty but comfy oil rig
>have 8 months of NEETery when you get home
based

big money too if you aren't a depressed drug addict

when will he return atop his noble steed to save the united kingdom from the chaos and division of may-corbyn

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we send £350 million a week to europe
let's spend that money on a national gregg's service that sends a greggs sausage roll to everyone's door every morning instead.

vote me

can almost guarantee that the gammon steak that made this eats fish on fridays

sue

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self care is talking to myself like i'm a toddler to get through difficult or even just mundane adult situations

Cringiest thing I did was try (and fail) get with my non-blood related cousin at the pub after a funeral in front of one entire side of the family

Yeah that really happened. Will not care to see any of that side of the family ever again

your favorite method of pooing?

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>blocking out the names
the names are important, the guy who made the music is literally the son of new zealand's old prime minister (2008-2016)

that girl rejected me
youre stuck with me for a while longer

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got to tell the gf im dipping on this weekends plans but i know shes gonna flip, might just make up a massive lie

corbyn is literally a communist and the british people are going to elect him

oh how the might have fallen. the home of adam smith too, sad.

he just said the yank version of favourite. tell him to fuck off

any brit want to track down belle delphine for me

looooool that makes me feel better about my drunken stories got nowt on that

rorke here
i love nothing more than letting loose a GINORMOUS smelly POO right in my nappy!i particularly like the method where it begins to SEEP out of the nappy and run all the way down my LEGS. upon completion i usually expect a responsible human being or leftypol to clean me up and assign me a fresh, new nappy

intresting. how do i get this job

if your coinpurse is bounteous you can court prostitutes for the same privilege

t. big fat sweaty fuck with a hairy chin with a minging face

oil rig? for me, it's FIFO mining

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fuck me dressing gowns are comfy

probably something like a degree in petroleum engineering

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morning

Got a big old jack hammer here if any lad needs his bollox obliterating

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so it's £0.90 for a greggs sausage roll
we'll round that up to £1 to account for distribution costs
so that's £5 a week per person times the population of the UK (the National Greggs Service doesn't deliver on Saturday/Sunday since those are non-toil days)
multiply 5 by the population of the UK:
5*66,002,000 =
£330,010,000 per year cost for a national greggs service, leaving about £20m for extras or a public information campaign.

the Brexit dividend.

Glad I could help lad

im 65kg and as average looking as she is, bad read d e s u

i dont want sex i want to be LOVED

Poundbakery for day to day
Greggs on special occasions

i've heard leafland doesn't require a degree?

does it even work or have you nicked all the copper cables in it?

heyyy x

been to his grave at highgate cemetery
made sure to spit on it (in my head)

i prefer being alone because i am extremely introverted (not autistic and can make friends)

day 1 without weed

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accountant and investment banker ed woodward

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waterwelders.com/smoothest-path-to-an-underwater-welding-career/

Yeah, just needs to be hooked up to a compressor

Chris Coleman did nothing wrong

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never voted labour but if he's for a second referendum on brexit I'll do it

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want to adopt a donkey

booked in to be circumsized january 3rd, told me i cant wank for 4 weeks minimum otherwise ill ruin the stitches

Gonna emigrate lads

how long will that last tho
i used to be prefer being alone but then one day desperation hit and it hit hard

tried to mentally spit on Karl Marx's grave but the pretend wind picked up and I got it all over my imaginary front

>Manchester United sack José Mourinho

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Dont do presents me.

Dont give em
Dont take em

fake youtube reaction videos

Thought id fix my sleep cycle by going to bed at 9:30 but now i just woke up and its not even midnight and im fucked

the new shirt

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oi, i was first in the queue!
where to?

heard a lot of underwater welders are old clearance divers in the navy which takes a bit of work

youre 17-18 so cant relate to position at all considering im 7-8 years older than you and not mentally disabled (never been sectioned or suffered from any mental illness whatsoever and never will)

Whats this?

poch aint coming to united

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looks comfy as fuckkkkkk

>Neonazis Against Extremism

Might go to africa

>Call no confidence because PM is wasting time and held off on a vote because she wouldn't win
>Proceeds to waste time by trying to call a no confidence but holds off because he wouldn't win

the absolute state of this commie fuck

i forgot how it feels to be touched
i still lust but my hearts giving up
i blow kush to the stars thats above

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Thats called being a cunt

youre 16 years old

cant wait for the dnp lady to announce her vote of no confidence

>i blow kush to the stars thats above
zoomer

the democratic nunionist party

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you forget that this is the leader of the opposition
being a pain in the arse for the government is part of the job

worst haiku ive ever read

do you think the repeated calls of no confidence get to her, or does she look at it pragmatically like "well, they can't interfere with my plans so who cares"

THE EEEEEYYYYYYYE
... of the spiderrr

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if you think im a bad person because i dont buy consumerist tat for you, youre not the kind of person i need in my life.

youre 4

odds i take a shower
evens i show my real power

doesn't have to be consumerist tat, you can make things yourself
nan still makes little blankets and socks for me

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>but holds off because he wouldn't win
there are two reasons
1. because it would reunite the conservatives (his LARP motion against the PM might achieve this though.)
2. because if he won, it might lead to an election, which might lead to him being prime minister 4 months before the day you REALLY don't want to be prime minister

The rapper Lil Pump gets paid about $100,000 per show

take notes rorke

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is this black man, dare I say it, Based??
youtu.be/c8UVMiL8Z-Y