Post joke from your cunt
Canadian culture
wh*Te people
get it? wh*Te and people in the same sentence
9/10
A child abuser go to the bar.
*i want a little for today*
The bartender give him a little beer.
*thanks but i want a little girl *
Now the both men walk in the search of little girls.
Only 1 little girl found and now they rape her violently.
The end.
This is a very popular joke
why is there poop in front of every belgian shop??????
because "push hard" is written on the door xDDDDDDdd
nice lol
sweden
They're literally all about calling the Portuguese idiots.
What is the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
I hate being mixed with you
lel
Everything in russia is shit except piss.
Why did Iowa raise the minimum drinking age to 25?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools
fuck iowa
Context: our police has "help and protect" as a motto.
Joke: When the police finds a guy beating up a gypsy, they get confused, because they don't know whether to help or protect.
Lol it's "protect and serve" here, so very similar.
I thought it was because of their proximity to England.
I hear French see the Belgians as idiots, but why ?
American, French, Czech and a Gypsy are standing on top of the Eiffel Tower. American starts to throw money down, saying "we have a lot of this". French continues with pouring wine from the tower, saying "we have a lot of this". Gypsy then says to Czech person: "Don't even think about that!"
Based
I've never been to Iowa but I could easily modify the joke to be about Florida.
Actually fuuuny, i kekkered.
I really hate the fact that 50% of all jokes start with "x, y, z are [somewhere]"
Q: what do you call a black man flying an airplane?
A: a pilot, you fucking racist
I don't really know where the stereotype originated, but it's also present in the Netherlands
checked
A Czech, a Slovenian, and a Slovakian enter a porn studio...
What do you call a heterosexual man in Sweden?
-A tourist
A Czech and a Russian become friends, they travel to an island together and they find a treasure of enormous value there. The Russian suggests: "You know what? We'll not tell anywone and we'll share like brothers!" The Czech gets angry and replies: "No way, we'll split nicely fifty-fifty!"
What is funnier than throwing babies down the cliff?
-Catch them with a manure fork.
How do you make a plumber cry?
-You kill his family
What do you do if you see a bleeding American?
-Stop laughing and shoot again
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Humour.
In search of Czech humour, the answer commonly surfacing is
Little Joseph runs downstairs and tells his mother, "Mom, come quick! Dad has hanged himself in the attic." His mother runs upstairs only to find no one there. She is furious. "April fool," says Joseph, "He hanged himself in the basement."
How do you make a dog meow like a cat?
-Freeze it solid and cut it with a buzzsaw. NJAAAAAU
How you make a cat bark like a dog?
-Doze it in gasoline and set it aflame.
WHUFF
The Robots were sent in order to clean the Chernobyl nuclear accident.
US robot was operating for about 10 minutes, and broke down by the strong radioactivity released from the reactor. Jap robot worked for 6 minutes and then stopped.
However, the Soviet robot is operating for 1 hour. A loudspeaker echoed when the reporters who were covering the scene of the accident admired the performance of the Soviet robot.
"Private Ivanov, It's time for a break., go to smoke a cigarette."
What is that:
It barks during day, it bathes during night.
Mother in law's dental plate.
so I called my boss this morning and said:
"hay boss whats the difference between work and your daughter?"
my boss says "what?"
I tell em "I'm not cumming into work this morning."
Stockholm
We also have that one, with an American, an Arab (who pours down oil), and a French. No need for a 4th guy in this version.
We also have that one.
Why do Portuguese men wear a moustache? To look like their mom.
You could but I will ride my bath salt fueled alligator over to your place.
>Where do you get the cheapest meat?
>Korea
A german, american and finn all go to the Zoo. They marvel an elephant grazing in its pen.
The german thinks to himself:
"What a strong animal, I wonder how it could be used in work..."
The american ponders:
"What a funny looking creature, I wonder how to best make money out of it..."
The finn mutters:
"An elephant. I wonder what it thinks about me..."
pappaskämt
im listening.
Why are there trees on the side of French roads?
It's so the Germans don't get sunburnt when they invade.
Did you just shit your pants or something?
did you understand the joke?
I thought the american was going to say
"I wonder how big its dick is"
A Canadian and an American walk into a washroom and go pee. Afterward the American heads to the sink and the Canadian goes to the door. The American says:
>"In America they teach us to wash our hands after peeing."
The Canadian says:
>"In Canada they teach us not to pee on our hands."
A Swede, a Turk and a Pole walk into a whorehouse.
The Swede is there to fuck.
The Turk is there to clean.
The Pole is there to pick up his wife.
I just realized how many of our classic jokes are untranslatable dad puns.
What does a Gothernburgian say to a Star Wars fan?
Jee Daj!
What color is the Corsican communist flag?
Red, but without the work tools.
An American meets and falls in love with a girl named Wendy. She is perfect but she has an odd request, to prove his love she wants him to get her name tattooed on his penis. He gets the tattoo, when his penis is erect it says WENDY and when it's flaccid it just says WY.
Some time goes by and the American is in a crowded washroom and he is peeing at a urinal when, being American, he decides to glance at the penis of the man peeing in the urinal next to him. To his great shock and horror he sees that the man also has WY tattooed on his penis. Nervously he asks the man:
>"Does that say WENDY?"
>"No, it says WELCOME TO CANADA I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY."
KEK
Fuck wh*toids
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
-One. They're efficient and not very funny.
A plane crashed in a cemetary in Belgium the other day. Thay have already found over 4,000 dead.
republicans
?
What River separates India from China?
The Fraser
How do you get 100 catalans into a car?
throw a coin inside
and how do you get them all out?
tell them its a taxi
Two man were bitter enemies despite being neighbours. One day an elf appeared to one of them.
-"Greetings, human. I've watched you two for a while and want to give you three wishes. It can be anything, but everything you wish, your neighbor will receive twice as much!"
Bewildered, the man wishes to get 50 million dollars. Poof! He gets that, but the bastard next door gets 100 millions! Next he wishes to get the most beautiful wife imaginable. She appears out of thin air, but the neighbour somehow have twice as beautiful woman. Angrily, the man ponders his third wish. After a while he asks:
-"Listen. Does it hurt if you remove a single testicle?"
kek
Q: What does it mean when a blond woman stand in the kitchen and looks outside the window?
A: It means that the chain to the collar is way too long!
How do you get four blonde woman to sit on a single stool?
-You turn the stool upside down.
Why the blond is quiet during sex?
-Her mother has forbidden her to talk with strangers.
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair dark?
-Artificial intelligence
How are blondes and newspapers similiar?
-Both are pressed during the night and come morning put to circulation
I'd imagine a country where 90% of women are blonde would not have jokes about blonde women being dumb
that one they told me years ago in the US:
a black dude walks down the av in New York seeing suddenly a white guy standing on top of the empire state building, jumping down. But instead of getting killed on the road, it seems the wind takes him up to the roof again. This repeats two times and then the black dude amazed takes the decision to go up with the elevator and to ask what is actually going on here.
He reaches the roof and the guy stands there laughing. He says: man, I found out something really cool. Here the windsheer is so strong, you can jump down the roof, it will take you instantly up again.
The black dude is not beleaving it but the white performs another jump right in front of him.
Enthusiastic the black jumps down the roof, he falls, falls and does not stop....short second before smashing on the ground he sees to whites guys in the street, looking up and laughing hard. And he hears them saying : Christ sake! Superman fucked another nigger again!
You'd be wrong.
Q: Philosophy:
what is the last thing going through a bug's head when splashing on a windscreen?
A: it's anus!
I know a good joke. Two tits in an envelope.
Tommorow will be a good day
-Do you know how the people call you?
-No, how?
-Christmas tree, because you have balls only for decoration.
what is is called when you lock up a blond woman in a kitchen for months?
welfare oriented animal husbandry
A Colombian boy falls in love with the daughter of a narco leader. Nervously he ask the narco permission to marry his daughter.
"If you want to marry my daughter you have to prove your manliness. To do so you have to pass three tests:
First, enter this hut. You have one minute to inhale a whole kilo of cocaine. This is to prove your resistance.
Then, enter this second hut. In it there is a donkey, you have to kill it in one minute with your bare hands. This is to prove your strength.
Finally, enter this third hut. In it there is a German granny. You have one minute to make her orgasm. This is to prove your sexual capacity".
The Colombian boy accepts the challenge and enters the first hut. After some seconds he comes out euphoric due to the coke, but eager to pass the test. So he enters the second hut. After a while, loud donkey's screechings and shouts are heard. Finally the Colombian comes out and yells: "Now where is the German granny I have to kill with my bare hands???"
why did american cross road? to eat the other side
Made me laugh out loud for real
10/10
Superman flies by during night. He sees the window of wonder woman wide open. She has the legs wide open, naked, is moaning and winding in sexual exitement. Superman thinks
fuck, this is wonder woman So why do I have super powers if not for that
So he flies in superfast and has an ultrasonic ultrahard fuck, cums and fleis out, all in seconds. Thinks yeah, that was it babe!
Wonderwoman lies on the bed, slightly disturbed. Says: what the hell was that????
Says the invisible man: I do not know but my ass hurts terribly!!!
kek
Well here's one
a man from Milan goes on vacation in Naples. He gets on a bus and validates his ticket:
"Ka-Ching!"
All of a sudden, the autist turns around and yells: "What the hell was that noise?"
An American was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled him over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be an American and they asked for the American's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in their purse for a while and finally said to the American policeman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the American cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The American driver frantically searched their purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. They held it up to their face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the American policeman.
The American cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "If I had known you were a police officer too, I wouldn't have shot you earlier."
Why do police officers operate in pairs?
-One knows how to read, the other how to write
A terrone goes to work ... ah ...
A man bought a hat and it fits just right
A bear walked through a forest. Then he saw a car on fire, sat down there and burnt to death.
Heaven on Earth:
German Car
Russian Vodka
French Cook
English Butler
Japanese Wife
American house (lol, but run with it)
Hell on Earth:
German Vodka
Russian Car
French Butler
English Cook
Japanese House
American Wife
A black african refugee is walking on the streets of Berlin, he crosses with a gentleman and thankful for being allowed to live in Germany says:
-Thanks for recieving me!
-" I am not german, I am albanian". Answers the gentleman.
The african man keeps walking and he crosses another person.
-Thanks for recieving me!
-" I am not german, I am turkish". Answers the gentleman.
The african keeps walking until he crosses another person.
-Thanks for recieving me!
-" I am not german, I am arab". Answers the gentleman.
The african then asks where are all the germans. The arab then looks at his watch, then says to the african "I don't know, probably working".
Based
I don't get it
I guess the joke is that the people of Naples are dishonest and never pay for their ride, thus the local man had never heard of the sound of the ticket machine.
It makes more sense in spanish.
Oh, ok... but what does an autist have to do with it
It's war. Two finnish soldiers are on watch. Suddenly over 1000 ruskies charge over the hill towards their position. One of the watchmen looks terrified.
-"Hey, I'm sure we can pull this trough", said the other one.
-"No, I was just wondering how we're ever going to bury all their corpses...", muttered the sad one.
shitty joke considering that finns lost almost the same amount of people
One Finnish soldier per 4 Soviet warriors? I don't know, that doesn't sound equal.
Mind you, if you simulate the battles using same soldier models for both sides, you get similiar results. The difference in k/d comes mainly down to tactics.
How do you stuff 10 babies to a suitcase?
-With a blender
kek
Three door-to-door salesman were travelling together. It's late and they don't know where to sleep. They come upon a farm and ask for a place to rest over the night. The farmer lets them sleep in the barn, but forbids them even touching one of his three beautiful daughters. But Nature will not be denied, during the night, one after the another, the salesmen leave the barn and seduce each one of the daughters.
The Dawn arrives and the Master of the house is furious. He grabs his shotgun and walks the three salesman to his vegetable gatden. He tells each of them to pick ten vegetables of his choice.
The first one picks ten peas. "Push them into your ass!", yells the farmer. He does it with little difficulty and is let go. The seconds comes up with ten tomatoes. He's given the same order. It's much more difficult and painful, but the salesman laughes uncontrollably. "What's so damn funny?", asks the farmer. "Are you enjoying this?"
"No, it hurts like motherfucker!", replies the salesman.
"But I saw the third guy picking up watermelons!"
Finns lost around 80k soldiers dead thats confirmed by various soviet sources
The problem is that finns didn't care about their dead and just dumped them in the same pits with dead ukrainians without even counting them as losses.
Thats the way finns existed since middle ages when russians enslaved fingoloids and sold them to turks