We're looking for a team player

>We're looking for a team player

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>We're looking for a copypasta chef

>an entrepreneurial mindset

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>excellent communication skills

>company culture

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>We're looking for a self-interested, begrudging rent-payer who feels life coerced him into working
ya found him!

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>motivated

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work/life integration

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>attach a 2 page cover letter with your resume.

>looking for someone with a passion for x

youre lying. Theyll just call the company...

Not if it went "bankrupt"

This is why HR should go the fuck away and stay away. Buncha women lawyers with nothing to do. Job apps used to be one page. ONE PAGE. My son applied for a grocery store job and had to fill out 8 fucking pages including references and prior experience.

He's going to be a fucking STOCKBOY not a banker, fuck.

they can still find out, I work in HR

kill yourself twice

i made an ad for a "people person" but that's because it's a sales job / marketing type job where they'll be shilling b2b all day.
most of these meaningless buzz phrases mean we want you to have drinks with us after work and make the office a bearable/fun place to work.

>we want a naive 20 year old to slave away 12+ hours a day with none of the risk/reward that comes with starting a company

im leaving tho, nothing but women

>mfw when i legit sniff their seats when they leave the room

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Are you not a team player you worthless faggot?

>We want a 20 year old boomer who needs a red bull at 7am and a megadose of melatonin at 10pm
right fucking here baby

i'm a team player, but i also work well alone

Then tell them that

>So tell me, who is your favorite leader of all time living or dead?

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Reminds me of an application form i did for bag boy position at grocery store about 15 years ago. It wanted a minimum if three references and specifically stated that these references were to be IN ADDITION TO former employers. Don't know who the fuck they wanted people to list. Ex girlfriends? I just put my landlord and left the other spaces blank. Still got the job.

teamplayer = social normie who doesn't do any actual work while the autist nerd saves the project

De Gaulle seems like an inoffensive but unique answer

>Although your skills and background are impressive, we have chosen to move forward with other candidates that more closely match the requirements and responsibilities for this position.

For a linen attendant position..

come on man I just want a comfy no heat/outside bullshit in 120 degree weather, like in an office or warehouse. Damn.

>We need someone to bootstrap a team player and reflect our company values by taking ownership and self-starter entrepeneur a innovative solution by being disruptive
shut up. shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP

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lol

>we need more vaginas and niggers to look progressive

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Harvard College
Office of Admissions and Financial Aid
Byerly Hall
8 Garden Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts 02139
Dear Mr. ****

I am delighted to inform you that the Committee on Admissions has admitted you to the Class of 2009 under the Early Action program. Please accept my personal congratulations for your outstanding achievements.

Need more mulatto women with shoulder length curly hair. The marketing darling of all things politically correct.

Not getting into the college I wanted still bugs me

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>going to college

Enjoy that lifelong debt bud

or you could just not be an autist and get scholarships. you can get as low as a 1300 on the SAT and still have colleges throwing money at you. cope harder poorfag

>implying im poor
>implying im dumb

Cope more bud. Enjoy pissing 4 years away.

>salary
>competetive

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>HR
>work

choose one

you're probably both if you think that going to college automatically lands you in debt.
>he doesn't want to spend 4 years surrounded by fresh 18-22 yr old pussy

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>we want you to have drinks with us after work
I get it but no. I don't want to be your friends, I don't want to know you better, you may all be wonderful people but I want to spend time doing other things I don't want to have drinks with you even if you buy the rounds.

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>our client is a market leader in their field and are looking to quickly expand with likeminded individuals who have the drive and energy to push the business to the next level.
minimum wage, call centre.

I work for a uni partly for this reason. Purge of the old ones every April, delivery of new young batch every September.

something tells me you want be getting any.

its funny when youre on the other side of the table, and on an interview panel , interviewing people for a job opening. we ask these stupid cookie cutter, bullshit questions. and the applicant sitting there usually has a perfectly rehearsed, fake as fuck answer. "why yes! i love being a team player, and i also work well alone! I love being under stress! thats when its 'go time' for me! productivity is my number one concern" .
lol. in the end, the most qualified person doesnt even get hired. usually the person who gets the job is the guy or girl who gave the shittiest interview, but they happen to be "a friend of the bosses son" or some shit. they have a hook up. its so stupid.

i graduated 2 years ago lol. meanwhile you're making 30k a year doing blue collar work. sorry to break it to you but your 500 linkies aren't gonna make you rich

>entry level position
>minimum 5 years experience with references

got my CFA, live in liberal hell hole NY but make a ton of money. Also i dont invest in scamcoins. I just come here to laugh at the losers going broke.

does that stand for certificate of fine arts? please tell me that doesnt stand for certificate of fine arts

how did you get a CFA without getting a bachelors

shouldnt be on this board if you dont know what it stands for.

>mfw about to finish my master's in electronics, not a cent in debt for it
feels good not to live in burgerland

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I was in the same position and started tutoring college kids, I'm making more money than when I wagecucked and work from my home

yea enjoy ur 60% tax rate and joblessness. FYI, nothing good engineer wise is outside of the USA

>must have 12 years experience in Android app development
I always laugh when I see these. Android has only been around for so long, are they looking to hire the original developers of Android? Lmao

>We work hard and play harder

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>Applicant must have a bubbly, outgoing, and energetic personality!

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>As well as a PhD in pure math.

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>I'm too much of a failure to start and run my own company but I will still criticize successful ones
OP is a fag

>falling for the "Monster" brand marketing machine

>hit the ground running

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