1. CUNT
2. What's the weirdest situation you walked into?
>flag
>dad having gay sex with a stranger
I was 12 and had a half day at school. Mom was at work and I guess my dad didn't know I'd be home early
to make sure I didn't tell anyone, he got me an N64 and Banjo-Kazooie and Donkey Kong 64
Nice dad
my mom crying because she hated dad even though it happened a shit ton of times when I was a kid
based dad and nice digits
all-round the thread's a strong 10
yeah, he's alright
he was topping btw
My brothers ugly asian gf banging on my mothers door at 4am because he broke up with her.
japan expo
it was like psychiatric asylum
gas the weebs
Flag
>Coming home from ye supermarket
>See neighbour, 25 something woman approaching her car carrying something in hand, can't tell what it is from a distance
>Slaps the fucking thing right onto her, holding onto it
>Pulls hard and hear a loud "THUNK"
>Get close enough to see what's up
>Oh my lord it's a big ass suction cup dildo
>She literally fixed a dent with an 8+ inch suction cup dildo
>Go into full autism mode pretending not to even have noticed her and go inside
>Fap
So this is life in the New World...
well thank god
I imagine it would be quite discomforting to see your dad getting fucked in the ass
it's probably why I look back on it and laugh. Instead of pushing it away, trying to forget it ever happened
This.
Sounds highly implausible. Why did your dad take such a risk and not just rent a room somewhere? What if instead you having a half day it was your mom?
and how'd the stranger look like?
That's clever
literally no idea. he was a stranger. Never seen him before or ever again
Taking ketamine on christmas day at my brother friend's farm. There was a quail in a box and some guys were playing fifa and made plans about robbing local weed dealers.
Also that time i stayed 10 days with a homeless bipolar rasta surf teacher boomer I met at a tv show. In a 6m2 room. By this time I lived next to a psycho algerian girl, she tried to fuck me, steal to me and tried to trade some surimi for hash, I never dealed drugs and my other neighbour was a carribean cop. Last time i saw her she was in full islamic dress and veiled, gave me another name, she may went to Syria after. Surely it was weird.
Saw a naked dude fucking the grass on the way to the bus
>be me
>stand with my pants down masturbating in front of the tv
>dad walks into the room
>gives me a hug from behind
ummm
based
Also
>be me
>go to a bar in Mallorca, Spain
>it's filled with Brits
>one guy is getting a lapdance from a transexual
>he's really into it and even feels up the peepee of the tranny
I've got another one
>be me
>work in the hospital
>need to help a patient so I walk up to her bed
>stand next to her bed
>turns out she's naked
>she does her legs around me and her arms around me and tries to pull me in
>the only thing I could think of was: "OH SHIT I HOPE NO ONE WALKS IN, I DONT WANT TO GET FIRED"
>push her away and carry on like it never happened
from 22-24 I had a superior who sexually assaulted/harassed me on nearly a daily basis. he would walk up behind me and grope my dick and balls. wouldn't have been as bad if he weren't so hideous, he was fat and bald with a lazy eye
Did it pay well?
And people still try to say France isn't the cultural capital of the world anymore.
Anytime I go into France some surreal moviemoshit shit is always just around the corner.
Movie type shit*
all things considered, i suppose it paid pretty well.
Your dad is based. I need a female to have blood heirs too
Why does every dutch go to Mallorca?
Sex, sun and alcohol.
Your dad sounds like an Jow Forums poster
Walked in on a gay couple cuddling
>be in iran
>gay couple seductively putting their finger in each others mouths on the metro
There have been multiple times when I've run into people swimming butt ass naked in the river.
Bump
jesus that's vile
There's nothing weird about that.
flag
5-10 people deepthroating bananas together
they were all male
bumping this thread, sorry i don't have anything that comes to mind that i can add.
wtf is happening in turkey lmao
I am super autistic.
>staying near coast in middle of nowhere
>going to local township to buy some groceries to take back to our holiday home
>township is a Maori infestation that only produces meth and benefit claims
>locals look at the white boy as I walk into the shop as if its a repeat of captain cooks arrival all over again
>buy groceries and leave
>really need to pee but don't want to lower myself to use public toilet
>go to gas station and use the one there
>occupied
>wait a few minutes squirming
>lady leaves the toilet and I shoot right in on impulse as I am close to bursting at this point
>leave toilet and hold door open for my brother waiting outside who was also with me
>he enters toilet and proceeds to take a shit I assume as he was in there for 5 minutes
>as I stand waiting a huge maori guy covered in tattoos including on his face approaches me
>type of guy you know took young men in prison
>"Hey, you know I was waiting first to use the toilet yeah?"
>I literally said "my appoligize" and bowed to him like a jap would
>looks me dead in the eyes and says "he usually knocks cunts out and drags them behind the store for doing this sort of thing"
>wait 5 minutes standing next to this man, my eyes set fast on the occupied sign
>brother comes out and I get out so fast it could have been a fast and furious film set
The look in his eyes were beyond any description. Unbridled fury.
Yeah I don't have a problem with it. It was just a bit awkward since there were half a dozen naked guys and girls splashing around and standing on the dock with the moonlight shining on their asses, and I didn't know what to say lol
lol pussy, I would've shot him
In middle school I walked into the restroom on a kid huffing paint.
>Forgot something in classroom
>Walk back in
>Teacher is watching End of Evangelion on the projector
I didn't know the OP was Butters Stotch.