Normies at work are talking about at what age they lost their virginity

>normies at work are talking about at what age they lost their virginity
>everyone turns to me
>"What about you, user?"

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>walk away

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just tell them you were raped as a kid lol

28 because I fucked your mom last night

I fucked ur's last night tho

For me this is true so i make everyone feel bad they brought up such a dumb subject. I was gangbanged when i was 12, and i dont hide that fact, usually gets the subject changed pretty quick lmao. Ive had sex 1000s of times by now but i hate that subject because i have a couple homies at work who are virgins and feel bad about it so i try n save them from having to talk about sex and relationships

dudes dont count

Well what did you say to them?

I told them the truth that I am a virgin. They thought that was weird.

How old are you?

Coworkers and I were talking about past hookups
One of our coworkers said he never had a girlfriend
He also broke his hand punching a table and is probably autistic

>not making up cool fake stories

I always have to lie about it and no one believes me cause they can somehow notice that I'm a fucking incel

>coworkers knew that you are one
>the bantz but they don't care

Probably easier not to lie
Nooo

how could you not lie about being a 25 y/o virgin in a country full of hoes? I'm a fucking disgrase

>I don't believe in sex before marriage.
Problem solved.

>normies at work are talking about at what age they lost their virginity
>everyone turns to me
>tell them 16

2001, after turning 17

either
>"I'm not talking about personal stuff, do you want to see my dick too ya weirdos"
or this but unironically, reply with banter.

but you aren't a super religious guy so they won't believe you and would make even more fun of you

Unsuccessfully trying to lie about it would look even worse though.
Well if you didn't want to be seen as weird this won't help.

When I had a job I just didn't talk to my coworkers. Problem solved.

at least in my case I would rather them making fun of me for lying than using religion as a scapegoat and still get them to make fun of me cause they know I'm lying, that would be a double lost

You don't have to be religious to practice abstinence. We are couraged to do it here in America. Hell, some schools even make you pledge not to have sex before marriage. People don't really follow it, though.

be honest, what age are you?

Fun fact: it's never late

29

Tell them you are an hero

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19
A few weeks before I turned 20.

Got it in in my teenage years, I guess

this. Are americans really that fucking dumb?

I’d probably freeze for several seconds then leave as fast as possible and probably quit over the phone.

33.

It's been too late for a long time.

Based

you could have lied. it is not like they would demand details

22

Well as a congolombian you wouldn't have to lie, Just admit that you fucked a donkey