Hello, fellow anons, this is my way: I approach a girl on a bus and I put a ruler in her hand. "Take it", I say. She opens her mouth wide and examines me with a face as if she was wondering if I wouldn't want to eat her father by chance. And I, leaning against the window in the bus, tell her that my name is Andrzej. "What the fuck is this about?", she asks. "Measure out 22 centimeters on the ruler". With a nonchalant smile, I move my eysight from her terrified face onto the blinking pine trees and shimmering wheat fields behind the glass. I knit my eyebrows for 7 seconds in a certain way, to look like a fearsome American actor, then I look in her eyes profoundly. She understood everything. With a dash of excitement and a pinch of desire she asks surprised, "Is this how long your penis is?" And I answer, "No baby", I make a step towards the door, "this is how long my foot is." Then I leave, because of course I approached her 34 and a half seconds before my stop, like always. I walk down the steps slowly, not looking behind, I put my hands in the pockets of my expensive, faggoty jacket, and I walk away whistling. She runs to look through the window one more time, I know it. The mysterious silhouette of a traveller drifting away pierces her body with a spasm of lust. Homo viator, she thinks. She doesn't know that I take off my jacket filled with rulers behind the corner. When she returns home, she masturbates with the ruler, the only thing left behind me. One day she shines an ultraviolet light upon the ruler, and she finds a number, of course written in Latin words. She deciphers it and calls it, and it's my friend's number, who is a pedophile. They meet up and the girl gets raped. My friend brings me her antlers, which I hang in my basement, I get another ruler from the container, and I live the room. It's time to start the hunt. It is I, The Rulerman, one of the surviving members of the crew of the Greek tanker Lotus.