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don't like topical OPs
For me its Azula.
Why are you so autistic Jeff
met zezima once
was in weatherspoons and he was this great big bearded hamplanet hunched over in the corner sipping on a G&T with “I AM ZEZIMA” plastered on his shirt
asked random people if they knew who he was and if they didn’t he’d scream “TASTE VENEGANCE!” and bash his glass over their head
ended up getting rolled off the premises by a barmaid
yet to meet a mixed race bloke who isn't tbf
would having children calm her down?
That’s it lad she’s taking the computer away. You’ve really crossed the line now, say goodbye to your bedtime and internet privileges.
That's the plan mate.
once wore my sisters tights and schoolskirt then fucked a pillow until i spaffed in them
oh sweaty, you thought that was worth reposting? bless x
Autism is evolution required to keep up with machine intelligence
corrrrrrrrrrrrrr might wank right now
brilliant fucking post this
why isn’t /brit/ laden with posts of this ilk?
Fuck off amer
because it's on Jow Forums not /lgbt/
Reminder that Canada fucked up signing the Japanese surrender document and now it looks like this.
Based Arsenal desu
lads, why shouldn't you wear budgie smugglers in the Ukraine?
Posters that certifiably have autism:
Any Swedish poster
for me it's the noble and hard-working japanese
sniffed my own spaff
smelt nice, like salted crisps dipped in sour cream
'tismomick conspicuously omitted
The ukie skinheads will beat you up for faggotry
Sorry ya mam just got off the phone with is, she wants you to go into the bathroom with her and rub her haemmorohoid cream betwixt her arse becasue she can't reach as she is too large to reach.
Me mam has aspergers do reckon I might be somewhere on the scale
Aiming to replace skitz as the resident SkitzFREAK
because Chernobyl fallout lmao
Hope you washed them after
Say nowt (I’m a based God)
loool you've literally just been spouting your mam jokes for the past hour? think ur the one with autism 2bhhh desu
I often enjoy going on /lgbt/ just to look at the utter STATE of some of the posters
wonder what its like to wear a skirt every day
You don’t have Emmett Patrick Garcin’s grit, it’s just not you Zo3, be the lad we know you to be and nothing more
Other anons been spouting them for a week loooool
who will you vote for in the EU elections lads?
Looks like a dunmer
b-b-but he's been spouting them for a whole week?
just ignore it.. what are you 13?
Not a fan of laughing at people's misfortunes, lad.
Carl Benjamin, Lord of Swindon
Brexit Party but shant vote for them in anything that matters until I see a manifesto
But the voices podraig
be the lad we know you to be and nothing more
Quite exactly the contents of this post
currently willymogging your dead nan and yer mam
It’s just banter you little freak fuck up
Probably really nice haha
spoiling my vote:
"i do not understand the purpose of this vote. is this meant to be understood as a second "referendum" on membership? What is the point of selecting MEP if we are leaving at the end of October?"
lib dem, although i'll probably change my mind and vote green when i get in the booth
I'm sure the underpaid Bangladeshi who counts the votes will find your stance intriguing and take it to the prime minister
Being a child is thinking Karl Pilkingon is hilarious for his gormless bullshit.
Being a teenager is thinking Ricky Gervais is great for his edgy atheism.
Being an adult is realising Steven Merchant is the true hero and comic genius for holding it all together and being the kingmaker.
doesn't know that spoiled ballots are counted.
*2 hours later*
One of the reasons I’m quitting, dealers are dickheads and I’m on probation so I can’t shot myself
Waiting for legal
le awkward bug eyes
don't think ill vote
Would fucking kill for a Drumpf style McDonalds banquet at toil
heh... that'll show 'em...
Look into dysphoria, babe
thats what yer nan said when i came in her
He’s a big guy
it's this kind of thinking: "why vote for a party if they have no chance of getting in" that has led to the clusterfuck we are in now.
thermodynamics will be the end of me
the state of Stephen Merchant's solo efforts
You've been talking about this quite a bit lately, Jeff. Are you somewhat dysphoric atm?
feasting on some frosted shreddies
I've got a mate in Bristol
He says it's full of browns
I dunno if I trust him
About old Bristol town
Today is going to be a good day lads.
The older I get the more I love England, just think about it all day long it’s rolling hills, bleak and barren moorland, rugged wind battered coastline it’s thousands of pubs pumping out millions of lovely pints brings a tear to me eye
Cops taking chase just spun down my road sirens blaring
Considering it myself after seeing this
His stand up hello ladies was alright but his sitcom of the same name was fucking shite.
m'ear is glogged with wax
Ah yes, the Spoiled Ballot Party
Why do you think they will read your manifesto and not immediately discard it into the pile?
but what about the pakis?
black olives are PENG why have i avoided them up until now?
England when it's sunny and warm is glorious
Wish we only had the wind rush and Irish immigrants, decent lads both like a pint and a bet
What have the LibDems ever achieved? Is there anything they can point to and say "we did that"?
Just spoiled my ballot on ya mums chest
I'll vote for whoever can promise amnesty for Nigwit
They don't call it Pengland for nowt
*mogs entire office with my delicious leftover lentil and chicken curry completely covered in fresh coriander*
I know this girl. She's from Newham.
this but unironically
im the real tismomick
BASED BASED BASED
Is there anything they can point to and say "we did that"?
ever heard of the Great War?
Do so love a good 'msnet sesh
British Pakistanis are unironically a vile abomination and shouldn’t exist, I couldn’t think of a worse diaspora because they’re inbred scrawny smelly little shit sacks that are simultaneously cocky and proud when they have no reason to be
state of emergency announced in cheadle
No it me
fuck me lads retail is a slog
still get me in 5 days a week
wasn't that great imo
i can do better
stop the presses: e-thot is cunt
There was an actual happening in Naphill yesterday but it was a false alarm so I didn't post about it
I know you then.
just drank some water
The city of Hull, circa 2023.
nigwit tried to warn us
A part time employer can still contract 5 days a week, you should have anticipated that if it’s a busy place/understaffed
what are you drinking lads?
Me? Rosé. Perfect day for rosé with some grilled pork and couscous haha
grim beyond all reckoning
Hahaha what is that
literally all of britain without libtard neocons kowtowing to the blasted eu
sounds nice, you NEET?
Wine looks a bit shit (and warm) though
christ frogs are so bent
Lads how do I replace the comfort and EZ happiness that weed gave me
I'm drinking ya mam, it's a vintage, ever heard of it ?
aye they rotate people every so often I think, i'll cope just a shock after having a comfy desk job for a couple years
Reckon that if you could record the speed of my thoughts I would be the fastest land mammal
love reading the latest threads on nairaland
today's most popular
arse sex (with lads)
nah holidays init. looks shit because it's bagged but it's alright. definitely not warm, just got out of the fridge.
Your catheter needs emptying from the looks of it.
Woah, is that your pátȉổ?
Purpose and drive
Best way to overcome an addiction is acc to hit the weights hard three to five days a week led, takes your mind off of it
personally think you barely qualify as a mammal
rosé? no way!
Ngl porn is the only thing that comes close but even that is better with drugs
Is there a cheaper alternative to weed? Xans maybe?
Simply hate being sober (bang)
yea it's my flat on the shore. just spending a week here to relax
just do all the things that stoners do except without smoking and your brain will give you the same high
. eat children cereal watching cartoons play xbox just be a lazy bastard it's pretty comfy
Nairaland and Mumsnet and occasionally the Student Room are all good for a laugh, I particularly like how the Nigerians broken English haha
I knew seasideMARK posted here
Buy some tights
cat's being an oddcase
I’m NEET rn so no ps
Any effective home workouts you could link?
Are monkeys not mammal?
Glad Jeremy Kyle has been cancelled
SAID YOUD STAB EVERY MAN IN INVASION
need a qt catholic gf
wish i could be on permanent holiday de lads
cool some single moda are better by far.They are homely,listening, caring and understandable than nowadays mgbeke wey go suck u dry
you're truly blind.
Thats like saying fat women are kind. THEY HAVE TO BE KIND because they don't have anything else to compete wth.
Single mothers by nature are loving because they themselves know they are USELESS.
just like broke guys love more. And ugly guys fvck harder. It's a marketing strategy. All these are WORTHLESS.
Did you know lads, that the right to silence and protection agianst adverse inferences is also implicit under ECHR article 6 but SOME adverse inferences are indeed possible
cool some single moda are better by far.They are homely,listening, caring and understandable than nowadays mgbeke wey go suck u dry
I try but it’s incredibly boring without
tfw no gf to steal tights from
Dunno lad cause I’ve never done calisthenic stuff, if you stick around on /brit/ or the house for much longer you’ll end up getting a bag. Go for a jog or take a cold shower and read a book.
I enjoy a nice glass of white or rose on a Summer's day as much as the next man, but I generally default to beer
What to Frenchoids do?
Dunno what youre on about but 's mam is a top shag
Who actually liked it
Getting into Xanies would be far worse for you than weed.
mental how every day i wake up with one side of my nose blocked and it doesn't unblock itself until i take a shower
FUCK THAT FÁM SAY NADA
Started cold showers, p based.
Live central tho so going for a jog might scare whiteys
Will have a search
*walks away and talks to someone else*
If USELESSNESS of a lady makes her a LOVING woman, don't you think all you ladies should become useless then, cos we [guys] prefer loving girls?
To your last statement - so, u come to that conclusion from what you have experienced? cos u typed it confidently and authoritatively, like that's how it is.
wow, I like your views.
summer days: rosé/white/red with lunch/dinner. we drink also beer but usually not with food. like as an appetizer I guess
But I hate being sober :/
Sox is a hobo lmao
Sound lad tho
so how about that jeremy kyle getting cancelled eh
*exhales large vape cloud*
a lot can be drawn from this poster
dont care about his steeze mans got bars
yeah desu we don't tend to drink beer with food unless it's at a pub or very casual restaurant
*polishes off my schooner*
*walks home to catch up on seasideMark videos*
Feel like I’m the only man that still uses that word
If you feel you have to be high you might as well go back to weed, anything else will be a lot worse for you long term
my n word
Why is /brit/ so divided from liking seasidemark and hating him?
solving a captcher
what do you drink with food then? from the replies I got, it seems like you generally don't drink much wine (see the bent comments) so what do brits drink whilst eating
*takes a little bite of my chocolate bar*
*looks at you*
*takes a big draught of my pint*
for me its water
willer is hard
Westminster voting intention:
LAB: 27% (-)
CON: 20% (+1)
BREX: 20% (-)
LDEM: 13% (-1)
CHUK: 6% (-1)
GRN: 4% (-1)
UKIP: 4% (+1)
via @ComRes, 10 - 12 May
Chgs. w/ 9 May
Would give you a pass irl
In reality I’m just broke, soon as I get back working I will be cheifing erryday
Sometimes start to think that the jf regulars here are just like us cos they make such normal decent posts
Then they start torking about having wine with their lunch
bums bleeding again
sorry about that x
Idea: Warwick Davis posting, but with Banksy instead
Mum never allowed us to drink anything during meals. She said it would spoil our appetites.
can i breed you with my poz seed?
Love having an ale with my meals
Then a cigarette
Then I'm out in town
Then I'm up till 5am doing speed in some random stranger's flat
peng ex gf lads reeeeeeeeeeeee
you mum sounds like an idiot
Had a terrible bout of 'roids recently. Reckon it's worse than everything bad in the world put together. It's like everything bad in the world put together has then been covered in glue and nails and jammed up your arsehole
Xanax is cheap think it was £5 for 2 bars last time I brought some, that was probably last summer though.
Personally I never enjoyed the high though felt good for an hour or so then I would just feel really sleepy.
pop a haemorrhoid suppository up there la
Hey, smelly pussy, stinky ass bitch, it took you so long to give me a (you),
What were you Doing? Sucking dick? Filthy low down bitch. Go clean your smelly pussy because the smell is not making you think right. Whore
Dave is dead
Idea: Warwick Davis posting, but with Doug instead
ach please daddy wont you take us to the drive in all six seven of us eight nine ten
normal dinner at home on a week day? water or nothing
any dinner out - wine
any 'nice' or family dinner at home - wine
t. upper-middle middle class
fizzy drinks and sugary drinks do spoil your appetite, my parents told me the same. but I've always been allowed a glass of wine
if you are dehydrated how long does it take the water to be absorbed so that youre not anymore
hate how they never stop reminding you they're there and last so long
VERY glad i have been eating lots of fibres to avoid those bastards
is it me or was life so much more simpler in 2012-2014
drink a bit drink of water
not sure what there is to dislike desu? He's a sweetheart
water most times, if its something like a greasy as fry-up I'll have a cuppa
very lower middle class
thats pretty much what we do here tbf. with a bit more wine during the week days.
i have 30 minutes ago and my piss is still dark yellow
drink more then
I'd enjoy a cuppa during lunch too I reckon
saw a cat in the kfc carpark earlier
wonder if he was homeless
do you wank with your mates in france?
Pee clear once a year
Do you want any help with how to breathe as well?
might go for a snooze
it was 750 ml. i thought it would help
no no no! NO!
when we're pissed, it happens yeah
down a few more pints
yeah if im home i'll have one with sandwiches or something. fuck using the staff room kettle its shit
Who's getting on the pints then in this beautiful lovely weather?
I'm going to have a few bokkles when I finish studying myself deee ladsss! Exam the morn!
tradies in australia earn more than anyone else
NEET means not in employment education or trade hahaha wtfff
I like a cuppa with lunch or dinner
t. 40yo+ women, probably Northern
tradies should be hanged
I fucking hate this song, lad. I'm not even from here. Nearly got into a fight with someone singing it once. Thank you.
got a routine inspection tomorrow
cleaning up my studio apartment as best as i can manage
Did you seriously not know that? You thick knacker cunt
The way it should be.
He’s going to get pink eye
Fart shart niggy. Poo arse. Felch snot bastard. Shit burger. Cum lad puddle wog. Poo fart poo fart. Poo fart poo fart. Poo fart poo shart. Sweat shag cum slip. Fat arse. The pill.
no drinking for me my lad. Fresh start coming on strong
Irish experimental rap scenes taking off Zo3
Reckon it’s about time women ruled the world even if it’s just to give men a break. We’ve been carrying this species on our backs since the dawn of time
*walks in with a fit bird*
how do you provide for your kid if you're unemployed
Yeah, I'm a kike from Hammersmith. What now?
Unemployment is an endless misery that has got to be constantly palliated, and especially with tea, the English-man's opium. A cup of tea or even an aspirin is much better as a temporary stimulant than a crust of brown bread.
Milk costs threepence a pint and even ‘mild’ beer costs fourpence, but aspirins are seven a penny and you can wring forty cups of tea out of a quarter-pound packet
Fresh start for me tomorra deee lad!
*Walks out with some runt's fit bird*
Honestly why is the rest of the UK like 20 years behind england (whomst are 5years begins the Americans) when it come s to music/fashion
almost revealed my power level at toil
Really really really really want some chocolate
cor you've earned it la onyaaaaa
get IN there my son get itttttt
I wasn’t when she lived with me
used to work in banking (mortgages)
worked for network rail (emergency line)
performed music at nightclubs across cunt
Fast forward 6 months
can’t get out of bed
Unironically done this to my mate when he went home and left her at the club Lol
american fashion pmsl
Ireland’s not part of the UK you thick cunt
started quoting Carlyle at the monthly toilconference
TIL: I had almost 5 billion dollars in crypto for a moment
This is what I imagine the Irish lad looks like (him on the right)
Irish remind me of Celtic fans who claim Rangers don’t exist
(5years begins Korea/Japan)
I buy all my clothes from SK
basically is tbf
What a scholar and a gent yer mate is haha
need a gf who exposes herself to strangers and gropes me in public
*pours bleach on your crotch*
toilberg gave me a voucher and there's £0.00 on it
I don't get it
Need a wife who I will correspond with purely through sexually charged handwritten letters.
I was just trying to get some work done and someone's come up and poured bleach on my lap.
No it isn’t
hey wh*Te subhumans, this guy called me a n*gger on the train so i fucked his wh*Te ass up, reminder real life isnt /pol/ wh*Tes
Reading this carefully
Alright then what do you call the cluster of islands of the coast of France?
Bono is the only Irish person I know
Wish I knew Bono
Does beer alcoholism lead to the worst haemorrhoids?
He's a cunt...
have a good day de lads
im a famous actor lads
I don’t cluster them together, there’s the island of Ireland and the island of Britain
cheers you too
Ireland (British Dependency)
Mark reminds me of a baby chimpanzee
Anyone have the old /sp/ shitizen pics?
Whish had my old HD
Had a 5gb folder of Chloe Moretz :/
off the chart, me
Hmm I still reckon there should be a word for the group of islands
cheers de lad
For me its a 2 litre bottle of Tesco sugarfree cola with every meal x.
Hey retard the word for the group of islands as a geographical term would be the British Isles but the United Kingdom is a political union that the Republic of Ireland is not apart of, can you get that into your minuscule wog brain?
Had a 5gb folder of Chloe Moretz :/
should've hosted it online like I did
There is... Islands lol
Wonder how the pepsi max lad is doing
Honestly knock me sick, fuck off.
For me it was 2006-7
None of that great recession, labour government with loads of gibs, world cup, two scorching summers
Would batter you into the next dimension if you dared to even breathe in my vicinity.
why is it always the manager that's barely ever in thats based lads..
ask for help on "training"
catch him mock banging his head against the shelves like
find out later he isn't even a manager just a knob
What in that single drivelling post did he mean?
should have slapped her
wow........................not a single one of them is hot
Not even the cheerleader effect is working on them
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