At what age did you realize that your life isn't going to be as good as you expected when you were young?

At age 19

My earliest memories are just trying to escape reality however i could. I had a lot of dreams, but knew they were just that.

when I failed university.

i realised early on that it was gonna be quite shit and underwhelming

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I remember it clearly, I was 12. I wasn't bullied, wasn't very poor or anything, but it was the first time I had suicidal thoughts. I somehow realized life is nothing purposeless non stop pain and wanted it end before it got even worse. I had it right

well shit
now this thread turned into people admitting they are suicidal and saying that their life has no meaning

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There's nothing that a man can do that would be meaningful in a grand way. The best we have is to strive for personal happiness by whatever means each and every one of us prefer, but I don't see that as being very meaningful. After achieving joy you always return to the same level of base happiness (wame when hurt, after suffering you return to the same level) so nothing you do ultimately matters. Religion is one solution to this but I just can't bring myself to believe in any such thing, no matter how much I'd like to it'd just feel very ingenuine and backwards. Essentially you're just born to die and free to do whatever you like in the meantime. Frankly I prefer to be alone doing nothing.

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what degree did you fail and why?
and what are you doing since you dropped out of university?

It was inevitable

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well that sounds depressing
used to think like you as a teenager, but religious experiences helped me with that
it might seems stupid, desperate and hopeless to you, but i seriously recommend you to pray to God one day for answers
seriously, try it
also go to a psychiatrist or something, they might help too

The only impresivr thing is that it hasn't devolved into muttposting yet.

At a very young age lol

I feel you
I think that's why I give up everything I start
feels bad failing, maybe I should stop trying

failed physics, fuck theoretical quantum physics.
now I am doing an aprenticeship to be a code monkey aka Fachinformatik: Anwendungsentwicklung. school is brainlet tier, but atleast I can chill. no guilty feelings when doing literally anything that I could be learning more instead.

17

no, don't say that :(
giving up is what brings you a failure
there's always an again whatever your situation might be

13, back then I realized that I'm gay.

I’ve never seriously wanted anything. It’s a bleak existence for the apathetic man

doesn't sound so bad, if you get a decent wage I can imagine a job without much responsibilities might be comfier than a "higher" job
good luck to you
I have no true motivation as I don't actually believe I'll achieve happiness
I'm always in a negative mood and drag people down even tho I wanna be friendly
I have no energy and see my opportunities slip away, I have no purpose and feel out of place wherever I am

I'm very happy it worked for you. But like I said, despite my best attempts and hopes I just can't bring myself to it because of constant acknowledgement that I'm essentially lying to myself. I like the communal aspect of religion and people of faith are really comfy and warmhearted, but I feel very dishonest and out of place in their company. I felt very uneasy when people tried to help me and pray with me since it felt bery dishonest to me throughout. Bless their souls, whatever it's worth coming from me.

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15

I realized being ugly is the worsr handicap of all

Depends on what facets of life you're talking about, desu.
In general, when I was 15 and developed chronic depression for no reason.
It's only gotten worse since then. 7 years later I lack the motivation to do anything, despite trying everything from exercise to medication. I want to be dead. The only thing stopping me from killing myself is fear of Hell. All I can do is hope I'll get killed in an accident or as a victim of a crime.

I realized I was probably gay at 21. As a kid, I always imagined I'd marry a woman someday. So that's out. I can't have a relationship of any sort because it would either involve me selfishly taking advantage of a woman who doesn't know I'm gay, being unable to have sex with her, and statistically increasing my own risk of suicide, and a homosexual relationship/sex/masturbation is off the table because it's haram. Prayer hasn't helped much; I still am emotionally and sexually attracted to men, so I'm trying to see if a doctor will chemically castrate me to make life a little more bearable.

I'd planned on going to grad school but I got rejected from the 5 I applied to, so I have to wait a year until I can apply again. In the meantime, I'll have to get a soul crushing wagecuck job to chip away at student loans. What's more is that by graduating, I realized how much I missed out on. I'm too boring to so much as make friends, that's right, haven't made any IRL friends in nearly a decade. I hate being around people because of social anxiety and I am not a fan of normalfags. Nearly everything they're interested in, participate in I have no love for. I don't watch Netflix or TV, I don't like drinking or social get togethers, I don't play dudebro games, there's basigly no common ground. I realize what a whiny faggot I sound like. Recreationally, I don't enjoy much of anything. Haven't the motivation to pick up much vidya or hunt for a book to lose myself in, one of the few things that can take my mind off of my misery.

I'm suffering so much.

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are you a Muslim? where are you from?

Down for a road trip/group suicide?
I'm east coast now, but want to die in the rockies.

what makes you think you won't achieve happiness? you'll achieve it if you put that in your mind and do something about it
still try it, as i said, it might look stupid or useless or that you are lying to yourself, whatever that means, but with faith changes will happen
there is meaning in life, it seems that you are not putting an effort to find it or not wanting to find one on purpose

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Christian, Virginia

No, sorry.

>what makes you think you won't achieve happiness? you'll achieve it if you put that in your mind and do something about it
because I've never been happy
why are you religious if your religion is in such a conflict to your life?
why would God create you gay if he doesn't want people being gay?

i'm sad to hear this
i'll say this
i'm also homosexual, always knew it but rejected for most of my life, finally accepted when i was 19
i grew up in a very religious family and in a very religious school pretty much all my life
to this day i still live with my parents and still hiding the fact that i'm gay to them cause i know if i tell them they'll kick me out and stop paying for my uni
i'll plan to finally come out of the closet when i live alone away from my parents independently

look man, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being homosexual, it's being yourself, God made you that way despite what you might believe
you shouldn't be ashamed of being one
and another thing, don't lose your motivations, keep thinking positively and put yourself living nice and free in the future, that's what i do
i hope for the best of you, friend

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oh c'mon, don't bring me that bullshit
everybody knows what happiness is and have experienced it before
tell me, what do wish for yourself? how do you see yourself in a future?

It's acting on same sex desires in any capacity that is wrong; sexually immoral. Same sex attraction is a symptom of the fallen nature of man. It's not what was intended. We, like everyone, are broken.

But that's not Biblically supported. I hate being this way. The Bible says that homosexuals who are unrepentant won't enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and that we're not supposed to live in sin.

well shit, i don't know what to tell you with that
i'm not a Christian, i kinda believe in my own non-existant religion, i believe in God and that he made everything
he made us like we are for a purpose
if your religion tells you that being what YOU are is wrong then i wouldn't trust that religion at all

But a homosexual isn't what I am, it's merely an aspect of myself

of course there were moments when I was happy, but I always feel empty and out of place, without purpose, as I said before
I tell myself I want a girl and a family and a job to support that family but I don't see myself getting any of that
I've always been lonely in my life and I don't know I can change even tho I think I want to change, but I'm not even sure on that
>It's acting on same sex desires in any capacity that is wrong; sexually immoral. Same sex attraction is a symptom of the fallen nature of man. It's not what was intended. We, like everyone, are broken.
god is all powerful, isn't he? why would he let suffering and misfortun like that happen, he's a good god after all, isn't he? that's why I can't believe in god

I didn't have high expectations yet everything turned out even worse haha

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are you denying your homosexuality?
why do you feel empty and out of place? there are many people that love you and like your company despite what you believe
and why do you see yourself incapable of reaching your goals? i know you can, you are putting in your mind that you can't

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>are you denying your homosexuality?
In what way? I recognize that the attractions are there but I try not to act on them

in a way that is rejecting your homosexuality
deep down you know you are one and you can't change that, but still refuse to show it or act

I masturbate when I can't take it anymore and ask for forgiveness.
I don't want to be one.
I'm doing the best I can.

15. Got depressed and dropped out and became a hikki.

>why do you feel empty and out of place?
because I think in the end there's no purpose to anything and so I don't see why put in an effort
I'm not good with people and am ashamed of myself for still not having found my place
people always thought I'd be successful because I was very good in school but I don't know what I should do and just waste my time listening to music, browsing Jow Forums and laying in bed

no need to ask for forgiveness, God is okay with that
why did you end up in that conclusion?
you might not be good with people, ut just keep trying

I think at 23 or 22 :(
I thought I could have a house at 26
I never finished uni and have no house
also wizard.
life is hard.

I tried to off myself in primary school so about 10 or 11 I suppose

I just realized it a year ago, I'm 19 now.

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I don't recall how good I sincerely expected it to be. I fantasized, sure, but that's not the same.

Age 12
First of three national exams
I tried hard, I studied, I really did
out of five (5) subjects, I got 4A1B

and since the B was my go-to subject which I really liked, I couldn't have pursued it further... I just fell from there... I realized I wasn't up to that level... I just felt so stupid and foolish

Lost optimism at 22, regained at 25, I will never give up.

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After I graduated college.

based

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ironically getting everything I wanted made me miserable because it is never how your fantasies are. you have to be content with what you have and doing your best.

13yo, I'm a NEET now

things will get better soon, friends, y'all just gotta believe in yourselves

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it feels like i have that realization every day of my life

I haven't lost all hope yet, thanks for the support though.

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But He's not, according to the Bible. Lust is sin.

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lust is indeed bad, but all humans need some sexual activity from time to time
masturbating once in a while is not bad, addiction to it is bad
now homosexuality is also not bad, yeah you can say that sex exists for reproduction and gay sex doesn't do that and it's just sex for pleasure, but i don't see nothing wrong with that if you ask me

Holy shit this thread is pointles and without purpose
Why wont mods just delete it

If we're unable to control our desires we're to marry to sate them rather than be sexually immoral (masturbation or fornication). I can't marry though.

i disagree

is it because of greeks?

I do fren

I haven't worked a day in my life
life is great

>Wanted to make video games when I grew up
>Now just play video games and drink

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I have fallen down the deep, dark abyss
I believe it will never get better because I can never be what I've always wanted to be

youtube.com/watch?v=KpOtuoHL45Y

>velkam tu hudrolik press chenel

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like 13

I am still in denial and intend to stay that way forever. If yall niggers want me gone then do it yourselves