/brit/ + /shit/

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WHEN I DIE BURY ME INSIDE THE LOUIS STORE

bit of speed is alright

off down the local for a few pints lads

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look at this little fella

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Wasn't worth posting twice.

that was a based song

MEOWING

any ideas how to unblock a toilet without a plunger?

Come.. Come closer.. And drink.. Take it slow, but take it.. Drink the jungle.. Close your eyes, breathe deeply and listen.. Hear the leaves rustling in the wind. Birds of paradise welcome you with their song. Distant drum beats are coming closer and closer.. Sacred healing chants echos all around you and inner visions starting to appear. You awaken from the slumber that was your life. Universal energies are flowing through your body. You feel the sensation of love and oneness embracing your soul. You are home. You are one.

shant

STAAAAAAAAATE OF IT

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family friendbergs all up in the gaff
i like them all but it's too stressful speaking in a large group

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with your hands i guess

The amount of 6/7s out of 10 females who have a massive fucking ego because they have over a 1000 followers on insta is unreal

>working at a polling station for the European Elections yesterday
>man and his ugly, flat-faced Chinese wife come in
>she barely speaks a word of English
>they both vote and leave without speaking a word to each other

>later some lad comes in
>bit weird looking
>eyes keep twitching and he's fidgeting
>dressed in grey tracky bottoms and a creased Final Fantasy t shirt
>ask him his name and address to mark him off the electoral roll
>he tells me his full name, including Mr, and his middle names, and his full address including county and postcode, in a fake posh accent
>notice that it's the son of the couple who came in earlier
>he takes his ballot paper and loudly says "hmmm..." over and over again while he's in the booth for about 5 minutes, then finally votes saying "yes... hmm, yes..."
>he virgin walks out of the polling station

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They're among us right now

danelad is germany
emmett is denmark
netherlands might be poleaboo
mad

Rorke women are all hot, weird coincidence innit
youtube.com/watch?v=10KBuboRRyw

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what are you on about you spacker

they are too big to get into the tiny ubend

Reminds me I saw a proper virgin walk specimen today as well. Like seriously hunched over. Think they might have had a medical problem. Still funny as fuck though.

toothbrush

suspicious some might say

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ok i'm heading off

see you later

The Virgin Complaint

shagging a brick

empty half a bottle of bleach down it and some shampoo, and just wait it out

When I first visited Darjeeling in 1881 I used to look across the valleys of the Rungeet and the Teesta rivers and long to penetrate into those stupendous mountains and valleys, with their magnificent forests and rivers, to explore the everlasting snows and glaciers, and to come in contact with their interesting people. An added fascination for me was the fact that beyond these mountains lay the mysterious, unknown land of Tibet, about which all manner of things were conjured up in my imagination, and which I fondly hoped I might some day reach.

do you lads think boris is REALLY a brexiteer? it would appear he only took this position as no other big name tories did and was an attempt to push himself to become PM plus his sister is a hardcore remainer

i wouldn't be surprised if he flipped stance after becoming PM

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this
do it like cpr, make a little vacuum and pump it

so my proposal is that we meet up to create a child, now im opposed to marriage but if thats a deal breaker (sincerely doubt it would be) i will do a registrars office 5 minutes type thing, although ye id be amazed if thats a necessity. same as the child for me personally all i need is the satisfaction theres something out there carrying my genes but if you want more involvement i can negotiate child support i mean i am earning a steady income at this point and seems right i should provide something (im completely assuming a single mother arrangement, maybe i would see it occasionally or not doesnt matter). obviously this will involve us having sex but at a push artificial insemination can be arranged is that necessary? id argue it isnt but again yes i fully am willing to compromise on that and do it all with test tubes, anyway hows all this sounding so far i think its a decent setup considering our circumstances

Complete Otoscope Orifice Exam ASMR

new gimmick: /brit/ posts in a brummie accent

vocaroo.com/i/s1jfKm1h3qpi

A simple look at his record on the subject and you'll find out

yeah hes defo a remainer vote for someone else
(like Jeremy corbyn)

nah I exclusively talk to girls who are 9+ so are allowed the ego in my eyes

reminder that he is literally Jewish

mash the shit up with a bog brush and keep flushing. time and pressure lad

Theresa May crying on that podium is yet another case of oppressive white women weaponising their tears to mask the colossal violence they’ve not only been complicit in, but actively and gleefully constructed and leveraged against marginalised peoples

youtube.com/watch?v=kGex0kLgNok

youtube.com/watch?v=Gg9RyiPKhx8
don't have my dancing dog gif on my laptop so pretend a gif of a dog dancing is attached to this post

Gooney bird

Her orifice stank of fish, I bent to kiss her clitoris, it smelled of piss

Fuck this is disgusting

Hope he goes for a 2nd referendum then
His constituency voted remain, think he'll be in trouble if he does no deal

you couldn’t pull in first year uni mate
wind your neck in

Why would you notice that many 6s have big egos then mate?

God I'm so fucking smart and sexy and have an incredulous depth of soul and horny but no1 to shag

what difference does that make?

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this is me

niece noncer

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black magic

youtube.com/watch?v=jux-Zi-IucU

this

Genuinely believe that Lewis Capaldi suffers from autism.

how come I'm both aware of my incompetence and have a massively inflated ego at the same time?

would love to go up and throw a big fat milkshake all over her and Carl and see how those virgins react

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>no marriage
no problem
>something out there carrying my genes
buy a belt
>child support
alright
>having sex
dont want
>artificial insemination
dont want
>having a child
dont want
>hows all this sounding so far
good fodder for the group chat

alri

That's no milkshake! Quickly Tarquin, to the splatter analysis lab.

Everyone’s aware of your incompetence, it doesn’t take a genius to see

does anyone know how i can become mentally sane again? like having clarity in my brains?

why is the thumbnail different from the picture

ave secks

Anti boomer action league

in a hotel room, have no bleach

imagine the smell of those commenters....

tried having sex?

clickbait

perfect, if you have your own toothbrush then take the hotel toothbrush and wrap it in bogroll and go for a rummage

would but I don't have a mic

Psychedelics and intensive exercise not at the same time though

feeling a bit under the weather right now
nothing is making me happy, least of all the gf
every time I tell her that sex is important to me she throws a hissy fit about me forcing her to do stuff
I honestly can't wait to dump her, then at least I can spend my money on prostitutes and get a guilt free shag

lads

youtube.com/watch?v=yCC_b5WHLX0

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cor decent tweezer sounds in this asmr

>every time I tell her that sex is important to me she throws a hissy fit about me forcing her to do stuff
christ

have a wank

Psychedelics and intensive exercise at the same time

HELLO

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that didn't help
okay maybe i'll try this

*walks in, looks the manager straight in the eye and gives a firm handshake*

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For anyone who's wondering I think that thumbnail is about which racemixing pairing produces which kind of child

thoughts on my willy, lads?

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alright mate no probs but the offers stands if you rethink

mad how the average video gaymer looks exactly identical to this

fuck is up with this picture
looks shit
fucking kill yourself you gay virgin

grim
it's a horrible thing to do, but just leave it for housekeeping, they'll have the materials to handle it, and they pretty much have to
genuine cunt move, but as you're a yank I'm sure you can take solace in the fact that they're probably an illegal immigrant