When was the last time you kissed a woman?

like 3 years ago, god i'm so lonely

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Never. Kissed several boys though.

Last year. But please don't ask about the last time I had sex...

When was the last time you had sex?

See

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2014, February. I was working a part-time job behind the bar at a pub and a girl working there, who was an aspiring actress, got my number from the landlord and asked me out on a date to the cinema. After the first date we went back to her place and talked until about 4am, and after another movie she came back to my place and asked to see my room. In my room she got into bed and told me to join her, and while she went to the bathroom she said to get dressed in what I usually wore to bed. Stupidly I guess I put on my dressing gown over my tshirt and boxers, and she came in with her bra and underwear, but then asked to borrow a pair of my sports shorts. In the dark we whispered and I apologized for not putting my arm around her in the cinema, and asked if she would have been offended if I'd done that. She said no, so I said "would you be offended if I kissed you?" and she said no. We kissed for about two hours I guess, and I sucked on her breasts which she dangled into my mouth. A couple of days later we tried having sex, but I messed up, and we tried again at her place but I messed up again and after that she became somewhat distant. I wrote her a handwritten A4 letter wishing her well for the future (very cringeworthy altogether) and posted it through her door. After posting it on my walk home I passed her, obviously walking home from some part.

New Years Eve 2016

Is this copypasta?

NEVER

2 years ago

this january

Nope.

The last and only time I kissed a girl was back in 2011 when I was 19 years old

Well i like your prose and that was a very cute story up until you sperged out

How exactly do you fail at sex?

4 years ago

Couldn't get his small shlong erect

But why? I thought he was attracted to her and made out with her?

Are you a closet homosexual? Have you ever made out with a man?

Thank you.

First time, she asked if I had a condom (at my place). I said yes, and instinctively got up and walked down to the bathroom to put it on. But by the time I got there I had lost my erection, and when I went back (without a condom on) she had fortunately spilled water all over the carpet, so I threw the condom behind the bed without her seeing and helped clean the water up. Second time, at her place, we went back and got straight into bed and started kissing. I took off my underwear and so did she and we were nude kissing. She asked if I had a condom and I said yes, got up and walked over to my trousers to get it. I felt so disgusting and sinister being nude in front of her, and when she joked about my having a condom as being presumptuous or something I felt bad. I went into the bathroom to put it on but I lost my erection and the bright light didn't help. I tried jerking off, tried even putting a thumb up my ass like in American Pie (I think) to stimulate the prostate as a last resort, but nothing. I went back with the condom half-on, and we kissed again but she could tell something was up. I was jacking off right beside her as we kissed, trying not to let her realize, but she did and kept pushing my wrist away from my penis and saying "stop". I was only jacking off to try and get hard, and once became somewhat hard and got on top of her and poked her at vagina. I poked too high and she said "It's lower than that" but I lost my erection again and laid on my back beside her. She said it was ok and kissed my neck but I flinched and didn't respond. Eventually we gave up and spooned, but then she took her phone and went into the bathroom for like 15 minutes. The bed on my side was drenched with sweat, and I felt so retarded lying there so I put on my clothes (at like 4am) and said "Hey, I think I'm gonna go". She appeared from the bathroom and said half-heartedly "no, you can stay" but I left.

Last tuesday, I kissed my gf goodbye when she went on vacation with her family

I'm not homosexual no. But I've always been very shy, nervous and guarded. Putting myself in a position where I could possibly be embarrassed is something I've always been too paranoid and egotistical to do, so when I find myself in such a position I just fall apart.

Excuse me, what?
Here, have my (You), monkey.
Are you happy now?

Last month

About a year and a half ago

How old are you user bro

I had what?
God, you mutts always make the worst posts...

Yesterday.

it is been 7 months

This morning when my gf left for work.

suck it nerds

23. Why do you ask?

she never came back right?

Man put some paragraphs in there, this shit is unreadable

> I've always been very shy, nervous and guarded.
You literally just told me the entire story of your sexual failure in colorful details.

Well she's still abroad, till wednesday or something

Mom doesn't count, user

Yeah but it's anonymous. I don't mind sharing my failures with people on here, and maybe it'll help some other person who is struggling with this issue.

ITT: Cowards.

Get a life and stop being afraid of failure, losers.

a year ago as a dare
first woman i ever kissed

It can happen to everyone. Maybe you didn't like the chick. Some people can't have sex if they really attracted to their partner.

For statistics bout my country
Kind of care more bout you for clear reasons

i think it was the 20th of January of this year. on july 20th i will kiss and have sex again.

A year ago give or take with a disgusting woman I met online literally less than two hours before I was inside of her. I would describe the smell her vagina had as a fishy used tampon and yet I kept on going.
By the way, HOW DO I INITIATE A KISS WITH A WOMAN IN REAL LIFE?
All of my physical contact with women has been with online girls most of whom were disgusting and I’ve regretted most of them.
I’ve asked this question here before but didn’t get a good answer.
Please give advice/greentext examples of how to do this. I wanna kiss a girl from work who might be into me.
/blog

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Why so specific?

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I think in retrospect I needed to be guided into the situation, which I know is pathetic but it's what I needed. It doesn't suit my character to be aggressive and have sex with someone I don't really know all that well. It feels like I'm using them or something.

This tbqh!
You're not (all) such incels, I don't see how this thread is possible

My gf 7 days ago
Some girl i meet while working abroad 2 days ago

damn user I can't imagine how embarrassing that must feel like.
Maybe you should have trained with a prostitute to get the hang of it

About a year ago but I don't care that much. I feel like I'm kinda fucked up in the head now so I haven't even been trying to find a gf.

Here is the best advice you'll possible receive, take it or ignore it
Talk to them just as you talk to men. Especially if at work, you have very good reasons to talk but same in the pub, might happen to chat with some dude randomly.
This above, but smiling confident and looking in the eyes possibly, chill. Just gave you the chad secret

Women WANT to be used and dominated. Fifty Shades of Grey is ALL women buying that shit. Did you have a rperessive Christcuck upbringing or what?

For statistics? Are you bullshitting me? Be honest, please

To be fair this isn't that embarrassing. I have to ask though: why go to the bathroom to put on a condom?

For the rest this shit sort of happens mate.
I've been slaying pussy left and right for the last couple of years and every once in a while a dud like this (where you're in the mood mentally but not physically) comes along

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I was just being curious, nope
May I help you?

No, I'm not looking for help. I was just curious too

No, but I grew up with a single mother who coddled me a lot and also was suicidal for a long time so I tend to treat women very delicately partly because of that.

I really don't know, it just didn't feel proper to put on a condom in her presence. I already felt sinister and disgusting even being nude around her, or admitting to her that I was intending to have sex. I feel like I am a very cold person around others, and that it takes a long time for me to warm up and become comfortable.

You didn’t say anything about kissing though. I can be pretty funny and comfy to girls if I have enough to talk about with them which usually isn’t the case. My problem is that I literally don’t know how to initiate that sort of contact or lead them to a point where it’s clear what I want in a non-autistic way.