Please attach a cover letter

>flexible hours required

Attached: 1552623488009.jpg (268x335, 17K)

>due to the high volume of applicants, only shortlisted candidates will be contacted

Attached: 1536603298489.png (700x700, 289K)

+Degree
Fuck this shit, this just means you won't get the hours nor the days you want and they'll call you in on your off days all the time

>Dear user, thank you for applying for a position within our company. We receive many applications from a variety of well-suited and talented candidates, but are unable to provide job offers to all of them. Unfortunately, you have not been selected to progress to the next stage of recruitment.

Attached: 1555142147261.jpg (988x1059, 148K)

>We offer a competitive salary

Attached: DB582489-C9C0-4DA3-8F66-9F556233EACF.gif (679x752, 671K)

I've never written a cover letter, probably never will

how much do you make per year?

kill yourself bootlicker, that’s how much

Every HR department should be gassed

*spams the same job ad with 20 applications*

Attached: gigachad.png (680x760, 191K)

this. bunch of half retarded Stacey's with psychology degrees

Attached: job.png (574x132, 10K)

talent acquisition specialist here, just want to let you all know that we can spot NEETs like you a mile away, and laugh and laugh and laugh at your pathetic cover letters as we reject your applications.

>you'll also get healthcare pack and social bonuses

Attached: 1558765699072.png (726x750, 124K)

Sometimes you gotta cut those guys some slack, imagine you have to go through 300+ applications with thousands of spelling mistakes and literally nothing in it.
>NEETs
>ever applying for a job

no you can't be quiet

But you don't. It's all automated by some program to sift out all the regular applications.

i saw a great one with loads of requirements and shit and it pay $8/hr and hour had a good laugh

>"my hobbies include: hanging out with friends, computer building, reading..."
>massive gap after graduation from high school
>little to no job experience despite being 23+
just a few telltale signs

>doesn't know that all neets lie on their resumes by adding years of nonexistent experience

Attached: 1542141872623.png (466x512, 124K)

lol this is me

still manage to get humoured into an interview the odd time

and it takes me 2 minutes to call the companies they've listed and find out that they've never had an employee by your name, or look them up on the publically accessible graduate registers of the uni they supposedly went to, you're not as clever as you think you are

>have you had any failures in a group project? If so why? What would you do to avoid them in the future?
>do you have any negative qualities?

Attached: 1561260429954.jpg (642x386, 40K)

I did the opposite. my dad owns 5 companies, one of which is very large. I've only ever done odd things for him but i don't want to give myself a title at one of his companies because I think I'll have my self-worth reaffirmed if i'm able to get a job by myself without my dad's help.

Attached: apu eyes closed.png (657x527, 32K)

>Implying some fucking retail store cares enough

>he thinks neets use real companies
los retardo

fuck off boomer

why would you ever do that, youre just making your own life harder for no reason

>oh wow past experience in 3 companies i've never heard of and that don't show up in a google search, nothing sus here!

you don't know trust-fund baby feels. I'll only ever be either a shadow of my father or successful only because of my father

>resume can't even get an interview
>rename resume to female name
>multiple interviews within a day, all for Michelle.

Attached: 54800622_644249666016923_7714082282025654443_n.jpg (1080x1310, 90K)

>in addition to companies that are no longer active
you would have to be a literal retard to use the wrong companies
lmao tranny btfo dilate

put gigachad as your picture on angellist or whatever job site you use

>please provide your Reddit username

Attached: 1560603150706.jpg (600x814, 50K)

>Be named Pedro Garcia
>get 0 replies
>change name to Peter Gardner
>Inbox (11)

Can we end this thread? This is getting a little too real for my liking

>That's a solid handshake you got there. I like your character. How soon can you start?

Attached: jawlad-ultra.jpg (1080x1246, 741K)

What surprises me is how common these responses are globally. Word for word.

Attached: 1561143873228.png (260x246, 83K)

I have sad music playing in another tab. I'm also following a sad /his/ thread.

I have to say that I'm not very enthusiastic about finishing university

>we encourage women to apply for this position

Attached: 1517751871005.jpg (647x831, 110K)

start mass applying for jobs 10 weeks before you graduate at the latest

>check inbox with new messages
>recommend position
>driver
>warehouse stocker

Attached: 512.png (512x512, 324K)

is he that much of an asshole that you refuse to have nothing to do with him? Why are you tearing yourself up about something that has nothing to do with you? Even if you ignore the job your entire life has been thanks to him, there's no way you can ever say he had nothing to do with you.

globalised era, bro

fuck I don't want to work

>warehouse role
>forklift ticket preferred but not essential

Attached: soy 1.jpg (861x1440, 177K)

if all of your past employers were defunct, that'd set off red flags straight away, not only that you're probably lying, but even if you weren't, why does every company this guy works for collapse? if i didn't just can your application then and there because verifying you would be too much effort, i'd contact you directly and ask for references from your previous employers, which you would then be unable to give.

>taking this long to get back to me
sorry love already got 3 other job offers

Attached: 1539743472627.png (408x660, 80K)

Finna start applying literally 1 year before I graduate since I'm attending university in another country and will want to stay there
I'll have about 3 years' experience cumulatively by then (all jobs I'd have held) so hopefully that helps

keep fantasising incel, we both know how inept and pathetic your kind really are, and either way you certainly wouldn't end up working for any of my companies.

as you were typing that out i hacked your pc and found your address using the virus i sent you along with my job application

Attached: 1538867620619.jpg (222x305, 9K)

you're in Singapore you people shit money what is even the problem? Same thing for anglos

>this mong larping as a HR roastie

Attached: question mark.png (250x418, 121K)

I'm trying to migrate to the UK.
Singapore is a literal hellhole in case you're not aware. GDP per capita (of a city state, no less) isn't everything.

>Sometimes you gotta cut those guys some slack, imagine you have to go through 300+ applications with thousands of spelling mistakes and literally nothing in it.
Fuck off fag those are all overweight roasties there drinking coffee and bitching all day, this is literally everywhere you go.
Last year i turned a table at a fat dyke and spit in her face for having the audacity to ask me whether i knew where i was for no apparent reason other than her hours at work being over for the day.
Trying to justify HR is either you're one of them or you're a complete drooling moron.

>We will be in touch with you in the future.

Attached: tyler.jpg (800x450, 187K)

based

I bet a singapoor in the UK would have no problem finding a job

>you don't understand, flexible week schedule is good for you

Attached: delt.jpg (184x246, 10K)

if you say so sweetie :)

For real though how does a neet get a job without any work experience? Asking for a friend.

Well, you might want to try volunteering for things that interest you. If you go to the same organization consistently I'm sure they'll get friendly with you and can help down the line.

volunteering can help

>Sir, after reviewing your reddit history we found numerous hateful and bigoted posts directed at interracial couples and LGBTQI+ persons, we feel you would not fit in with our work culture and will not progress your application

Attached: 1556988844626.jpg (378x378, 31K)

>must have previous experience
>half a decade worth of certification
>perform multiple roles
>work hours on demand
>entry level position
>must be a normalfag
>minimal award rate
>the person who ends up being hired knows the boss
At least 90% of employers need to be killed, third party hire made illegal and HR removed entirely. Almost all jobs these days is glorified chattle work.

I unironically tried volunteering for state emergency services for this reason and all the boomers there were extremely rude to me for not having a job

there are other organisations you can volunteer with, rfs or st john come to mind. i think it largely depends upon what division/region you're with and how many of their members are young as well

I hope so.

Do you have a degree?

im on the other side of this now
there are no lessons its completely random. A retard could get the job once you pass the first hurdle of them not randomly selecting your resume to look at.

*floods your country with 3rd worlders for surplus labour to rape wages*
wow bro whats the matter you dont like capitalism??

Im convinced that the majority of approved applicants are way worse than those that aren't selected.
The experience at my previous job which i left because i had to work for 5 useless, malignant tumours that just drank coffee and used faceberg all day...

Yeah I have a Political Science degree. I feel like a resume with only a degree and no work experience is a potential red flag.

>he didn't graduate in a medical field
My interview was literally them telling me the advantages of working in their company. There wasn't even anyone present from HR at the interview, just me and my boss and the guy above him.

>massive gap after graduation from high school
>little to no job experience despite being 23+
FUUUCCKKKK DELETE

this. I could put jacking off to underage anime girls in my interests and still have employers fighting over me. feels good to have a useful degree.

based medbros

whoops forgot to @ the pole

>>he didn't graduate in a medical field
we can't all be super brains that make up 5% of the population

I don't think that's a red flag, it just doesn't make you stand out. There's a million people out there with a degree and no experience too. You've got to find some way to not be filtered out by the (((HRoasties)))

>bragging about being in recruitment but he's not client facing
Literal peasant tier. You're just like a real estate agent who looks after rentals
The absolute bottom of the barrel lmao!

Attached: 1540353526525.jpg (250x250, 4K)

npcs love to "work" based on the templates, patterns anything they can copy and substitute for their own creation
they run a cargo cult of civilization without any actual insight on any subject, any real understanding and even less potential for actual creativity

medicine in america is harder than getting a 6 figure job out of college though. You have to get a bachelor's degree with a 3.7+ gpa and have crazy extra curriculars with a good MCAT just to get an interview at the worst med school in the country.

smug/10

>not just getting hired by your dad thanks to the rampant nepotism in this country
Yikes!

>tfw automated sending out fake resumes and cover letters
>phone numbers are all just sent to voicemail
>managers waste all their time trying to find 1 real person, which ends up being me.

Be smarter than the competition and the game.

Also, post fake job ads to accumulate resumes/CV.

That's also the case for med schools in other countries, just that it's a bachelor's degree and therefore your ECs are from when you're in high school.

you don't need to be smart to do medicine
especially not here

I thought in the british system you can start doing medicine right after O levels or whatever you call it

but you do need to operate on very little sleep which not many people can do