I'm curious

It depends on how much money you have.

Don't know anyone whos ever been burglarized

That sounds retarded. Use the actual world, burgled.

Burglaries don't happen here.

ummm natives???

We don't have burglaries where I live. I don't even close the door

sauce

we chase them around in a Speedo trying to kiss them, because most burglars are from societies that just seeing a man nacked seems you game and a shame they commit suicide on the spot

I don't own valuable things. The most valuable thing I own is probably my bible.

Cumbrains