It sounds like your insecure
I use to try and get rid of feelings to wanting to be better than friends or other people, when your confidence is real you don’t want to see other people struggle,
It honestly sounds like you don’t like yourself or are holding onto things the world did to you or something. Your insecure though, I stay away from your type as soon as I get a whiff of that
Crab in a bucket friends will stunt your growth in life and you’ll most probably be too nice to cut them out of your life for good cause it feeels like the wrong thing to do. But they’re lost and suffering and want you to get below them or at the very least on par with them
I leave those friends and let them rot in their own negativity and low self esteem