Tfw start work on Monday (software company)

>Tfw start work on Monday (software company)
>Tfw incel NEET who passed the interview by popping some xanax and pretending like I know my shit

What the fuck am I going to do guys, please help

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Maybe you could let me do your job for you secretly? Just send me the requirements and pay me part of your salary

it's not that hard just don't sperg out

outsource your work to a poor chinese

You'll be fine, no one expects you to know shit your first day.

You're fine dude, relax and know that you're not going to get much done for the first couple weeks.

lol what did you have on your resume

1. Until you know enough to do your job, spend every waking moment of your free time studying.
2. Ask for help at work all the fucking time. If you do make it, no one will remember how useless you were one year from now.

>Accept job you're unprepared for
>WTF IM UNPREPARED FOR THIS!

Bravo, OP

This, sacrifice a quarter of your wage and just post what needs to be done on online Chinese freelance work boards. Spend your entire work day fucking around online while some ant does your work for a pittance.

Your first day will just be introductions

kek, that's fucking devilish

and diversity/inclusion videos

Real advice here.
It can works if you really put hours studying and ask for help everyfuckingtimd

I've actually done this, but it was to a Paki on one of the freelancer sites.

Just outsource everything until you get caught and fired. They still have to pay you.

pop pills every day from now on

Learn everything while you do your job as a "beginner" so you can act like a dumbass without being judged

more xanax. A shot or two is good for beeing a bit talkative so you can connect with the thots and normies

Sort of similar here, starting as a software engineer next month, but I didn't lie or talk up my skills at all. I have a strong math background though and the job involves some math, so that's why they picked me. Pretty weak programming skills though. just basic Python, have to learn C++ for this job.

Fake it till you make it

Well, is it devilish?

You're aware that a shitload of SW companies basically due that by outsourcing work to pajeets or even cheaper people? It's exactly the same mechanism.

So if a developer does that it's "devilish" but if a company does that it's just "good business"... Fuck that noise.