ok so I know this is going to be tough because so many of you work boring office jobs
but anyways I manage a non-franchise restaurant with a staff of about 60, 40 of them being servers/ bartenders. every July we have our anniversary party and we close early and all get fucked up at our own bar. me and the other 4 managers usually throw in 100 bucks that covers the cost of the liquor.
so its my first anniversary party and I've only been there for like 3 months, never really hung with any one of them outside of work so they're all trying to get me fucked up.
hours go by and were all just bullshitting, got the music loud, and I'm just in my bar stool and two girls come up and are like "so how do you like the job so far? it must be pretty tough keep all us bitches in line huh?" and she pinches the fuck out of my nipple. and im like "ouch fuck that hurt, what if I did that to you?" and she says "try it" and im like nah I'm good I dont want to get a sexual assault claim lol. then she seriously puts her hand on my bulge in my jeans and says "hows this for sexual harrassment".
her friend is like has her mouth open in shock and is like "ok I'll leave you two alone" and walks off. im like fuuuuck shes going to tell. so I get out of my bar stool, grab the bitches titties hard with both hands, and straight up walk outside to smoke a cig. sure enough she follows and is like "you cant just grab my tits and walk off user! let me feel your dick i know its hard". so im like god dammit she's not going to go away. so I tell her she can feel my dick if I can finger her pussy and she literally grabs my by the hand and takes me to the other side of the building, unzips my zipper, drops her panties (shes wearing a dress) and starts stroking my dick as i finger her and I nut all over her legs and shoes lol.
she never told anyone thank god, she always fucking alluded to seeing my bulge in my pants in front of everyone though and hinted at the fact shes seen my dick. I just laugh it off everytime and tell her to go away.
so, faggots, what kind of crazy work stories do y'all have?
that bitch is literally fat and will be clinically obese by 30 if she continues her current eating habits
Kevin Myers
Our office had an air hockey table and we had a tournament one month. 30 people joined in and I managed to make it to the final round. But it turns out the person I had to compete against was the hottest girl in the office, that I had a huge crush on. It was a classic sitcom dilemma. Do I let her win or do I kick her ass? Well, the day of the match I decided I was going to just let her win, but by a small margin so it was believable. That plan changed when I got there and I saw that she invited her boyfriend, who I didnt know about. Anons, I beat her 20-3, and it was honestly my best air hockey performance ever. I'm so glad I didnt let her win, I would have felt like such a cuck afterwards.
i wish i could rub my balls on her feet. would feel so good
Easton Ortiz
thats disgusting
Josiah Nelson
Nice work. Fuck that bitch. She was supposed to suck your dick after the tournament.
Leo Cook
this is fucking hilarious
Ryder Wright
>have office job at fortune 500 company >co-worker starts fucking another co-worker 10 years older than her >gets pregnant >his wife finds out and comes to the office to scream at them >they both quit two months later >office boring as fuck now
I miss working at a restaurant sometimes. The work and hours sucked but everyone was getting drunk and high and fucking each other all the time. So much more fun than white collar wagecucking
Connor Adams
i'll take things that never happened for $1000, Alex
Connor Perez
Things that never happened.
Asher Lopez
fucking chad
Easton Wright
imagine being so far deepin your virginity that the mere idea of a woman initiating sex seems unfathomable to you
Dominic Cook
Women initiating sex meens that she knows that you are beta and unable to initiate her. Stfu.
Easton Jackson
I worked at a supermarket, in produce as a stocker/assistant. 18 y/o just graduated hs the next town over, recently got injured and lost my athletic scholarship so I was in a bad spot and not giving a shit about anything.
Store was full of 15-17 year old high school girls working after school as cashiers or baggers.
I was pretty much the only guy around under 30. Yeah.
In hindsight I don't know if I can say the drama was worth being buried in teenage pussy (legal due to age-difference laws in my state), but it was a really fantastic 1 1/2 years. Women, especially young women, get really fucking weird and desperate when there is only one eligible man around.
Camden Carter
Not what it means at all, dipshit. Just means she is a thirsty hoe and wants the D so bad she doesn't care about losing reputation to beg for it.
I've been molested and felt up in night clubs and bars before by drunk bitches. Sounds fun until you live it and realize its gross af unless you are also wasted.
Parker Sanchez
Worked at microcenter on the border of a ghetto and rich town, so I have a lot of stories about cheap ass pajeets and ghetto people trying to scum us off. >Trying to help someone who needs something for a contracting job >Short fat pajeet proceeds to approach and say nothing but just stare with a vacant stare and literal drooling smile >Keeps creeping closer to me breathing heavily >Eventually customer just takes spool of cable and says "uh I think someone really wants your attention there" >Turn around and immediately hit by the smell of shit and sweat >Proceeds to speak in such a heavy accent I can't understand him >Just say yes to whatever he said and he just waddles away and asks everyone in the store the same question
Brody Clark
Other good one >Random 90 year old lady comes in asking about a landline phone >While showing her she tells me "oh I can't see anything cause I'm so blind even my glasses don't help, can you please bring me the information on this?" >Try to explain that there are none anymore >She now wants to look at cell phones and so I guide her over >At this point she complains she can't see it and pulls out a literal magnifying glass out of her purse >Still cant see it >Says she's going to the food store and will come back and ask me then in 20 minutes >Right after I'm done coworker asks if I wanna go to lunch together so I bail with him >Apparently she came back and tried looking for me, but no one else working there knew what the fuck she was talking about and just said I was gone >She gave me her phone number to call her to bring it over Apparently she came back the next day when I was off, and there were all new people so she was stone walled and just told try some other time. She never came back
Also had a time when some Russian guy wanted me to install security cameras in his house and he would give me $20 and a haircut
Brandon Hill
lmfao. things ugly people say
Christopher Lewis
One day I was wagecucking and mr shekelstein took a shit on my face!
David Anderson
BASED ALPHA MALE
Dominic Williams
Look at those legs go up and make a complete ass out of themselves.
I once slept four hours of a seven hour shift (weekend gig, me and one other guy in an empty building). Managed to be awake to answer one important phonecall. Get profusely thanked by boss the following day for dealing with that call. That was nice.
I don't have any other stories.
Dylan Price
Please don't greentext ever again. You're really not very good at it
Cooper Ross
lol what a beta you should've just fucked her instead you got jealous
Josiah Adams
Please don't post ever again. You reek of shit.
Xavier Martin
Wow, you beat a literal girl. Amazing.
Liam Young
> really not very good at it
K
Bentley Bennett
underrated and rare
Aiden Kelly
>no drunken fight with her bf >not confessing your love that night do you even know how to be smooth, Jow Forums
