How do I become a millionaire?

Got a total of $0 in my bank account. So Jow Forums what do?

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Easy, just get infinite % returns. Starting from $0, that could make your final wealth any number, including $1 million

Easy, just s̶͔͕̼̥̖͍̀̒ǘ̴̬̫͓̻ĉ̵̞̇k̵̡͍͔͓̀͋͊͐̔͋̋͜͝ ̵̨̫͉̩̠̼̄͐̀͘ō̵̘̼̈́̏͊̀̃̓ņ̸̟̞̝̇̈́̓̚͜͝ u̷̢͚̺͓͉̫̐͊͋̂̌̌͛͑ͅn̸̛̦̠̰͓͙̜͔͍̦̱̘̆͊̎͗͒͊̋͌͘̚͝d̷̛̗̺͔͍͗̂̿́̽̑̋͒͒̃͘̕͝e̸̮̜̰̟͛́̈́̿̓̋͛͆̀̃͠f̴̘̭̖́̚ͅḭ̷n̵̬̩̘̤̟̻͍͍̍͑̋͐̑̂̉e̵͉̳̍̋͆̑̔͒͒̃͝d̶̨̨̨̡̻̗͇̺̰̤͇̏͂̂̊̽̊͘̕ͅ ̴̢̨͎̘̪͙̮͑̈́͑͒̃͘̕͜d̷̢̡̫̹̣̮̪̺̙̳͙̟̕i̴̢͙̣͙̇̿̀̿̐̑̽̇̌̒̚c̵̙̰̮͓͌̇̏͆̃͗̕͘͝ḱ̸̨̙́̌̋͊̈͆͌̒̃̈́̚͜͝͠š̶̙̹̭̩͇͇̯͇͚̓̉͋̏͜ ̵͔̙̳̻̋̓̉͆̚e̷̢͕̼̝͕̝͍͈͉͕͒̊̂͐̍̔̒̓̎͜͝͠͝ͅͅv̸̨̨͇͍̘̣̖̝͖̮͔̎̊͌ͅé̸̫͓̓͋͌̌̽͑̔̍̋r̷̭̆̿͛̋̆͠y̴̤̠̜̯͍̰͌͗̽̃̏̑͐͒̑̾̍ ̶̨̛̜̙̯́̾̄̋ḏ̷̨͓̻̾̋̀̈̃͜͜ḁ̶̧̛̛̠͐͛͐͛͘y̵̟̤̓͛͂͐͐͋͌̒́̇͝ ̵̡̡̘̥̟̼̹̰̩̠̭̫̫͎̽̚͠͝f̵̨̢͖̰̪̋̽͊o̵̗̪̘͖͎̻̽̇̀r̸̡̗̘̪̼̦̳̱̭̱͋͛͂̈̃̈́͜ ̵̧̡̛̫̞͎͖̋̌̂͋̏ ư̸̧̖̪̗̙̖̗̦̹̩̬̏͗̀̃̓̏͂͒͝͝n̶͍̤̯̯̞̤̰̦̳͎̰̣̳̣̫̘̓̌̆̕͝ͅͅ
Don't buy into that kneepads scam though, that's a rookie mistake.

Now, how the hell am I supposed to do that and wtf does that mean? I'm very new to all of this.

Try suicide

Alright, to make it really easy just buy $0 worth of LINK, you should make it by EOY 2020

Can you give me a bit more to go off of than that? instructions etc?

Bro if you need someone to spoonfeed you from step one, you're gonna end up losing the $0 you already have. This is a board for crypto stuff, so if you're interested in that then use google and do some fucking research

Unironically suck cock. Best thing I ever did: hang out behind 5 star hotels and agree to everything. You’ll be safe bc they can’t afford the drama otherwise. Buy knee pads just as soon as you can, and learn to swallow those 26 free calories and with enough trade you’ll not spend a penny on food all day!

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Sounds like you're new to life

I'm -6k. what's your secret?

Donate plasma for money, buy LINK.
Pickup bottles, and loose change, bitcoin atm, exchange for LINK.
Suck dick, buy LINK.

Basically get some money and buy fucking LINK its not hard.

Play the pink wojack sheets

this this this

just remember you were warned

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Get a few 0% interest credit cards and max them out with crypto, then pay them back after you 2x

>Easy, just s̶͔͕̼̥̖͍̀̒ǘ̴̬̫͓̻ĉ̵̞̇k̵̡͍͔͓̀͋͊͐̔͋̋͜͝ ̵̨̫͉̩̠̼̄͐̀͘ō̵̘̼̈́̏͊̀̃̓ņ̸̟̞̝̇̈́̓̚͜͝ u̷̢͚̺͓͉̫̐͊͋̂̌̌͛͑ͅn̸̛̦̠̰͓͙̜͔͍̦̱̘̆͊̎͗͒͊̋͌͘̚͝d̷̛̗̺͔͍͗̂̿́̽̑̋͒͒̃͘̕͝e̸̮̜̰̟͛́̈́̿̓̋͛͆̀̃͠f̴̘̭̖́̚ͅḭ̷n̵̬̩̘̤̟̻͍͍̍͑̋͐̑̂̉e̵͉̳̍̋͆̑̔͒͒̃͝d̶̨̨̨̡̻̗͇̺̰̤͇̏͂̂̊̽̊͘̕ͅ ̴̢̨͎̘̪͙̮͑̈́͑͒̃͘̕͜d̷̢̡̫̹̣̮̪̺̙̳͙̟̕i̴̢͙̣͙̇̿̀̿̐̑̽̇̌̒̚c̵̙̰̮͓͌̇̏͆̃͗̕͘͝ḱ̸̨̙́̌̋͊̈͆͌̒̃̈́̚͜͝͠š̶̙̹̭̩͇͇̯͇͚̓̉͋̏͜ ̵͔̙̳̻̋̓̉͆̚e̷̢͕̼̝͕̝͍͈͉͕͒̊̂͐̍̔̒̓̎͜͝͠͝ͅͅv̸̨̨͇͍̘̣̖̝͖̮͔̎̊͌ͅé̸̫͓̓͋͌̌̽͑̔̍̋r̷̭̆̿͛̋̆͠y̴̤̠̜̯͍̰͌͗̽̃̏̑͐͒̑̾̍ ̶̨̛̜̙̯́̾̄̋ḏ̷̨͓̻̾̋̀̈̃͜͜ḁ̶̧̛̛̠͐͛͐͛͘y̵̟̤̓͛͂͐͐͋͌̒́̇͝ ̵̡̡̘̥̟̼̹̰̩̠̭̫̫͎̽̚͠͝f̵̨̢͖̰̪̋̽͊o̵̗̪̘͖͎̻̽̇̀r̸̡̗̘̪̼̦̳̱̭̱͋͛͂̈̃̈́͜ ̵̧̡̛̫̞͎͖̋̌̂͋̏ ư̸̧̖̪̗̙̖̗̦̹̩̬̏͗̀̃̓̏͂͒͝͝n̶͍̤̯̯̞̤̰̦̳͎̰̣̳̣̫̘̓̌̆̕͝ͅͅ
>Don't buy into that kneepads scam though, that's a rookie mistake.
Nice

Save money from a job and put it in into things that increase in value. So either become an investor or start a business. Be aware that most people lose money on these ventures so be prepared to fail several times.

Mine crypto with your phone
minepi.com/bradfo

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figure out how to make $1, then do it 999,999 more times

sell the hole

Go to the money store. Buy a dollar on credit. User it to buy another dollar. Keep doing this until you have a million and one dollars. Now pay back the loan of $1. It takes patience but it works.

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this but unrionkally