Guys I'm getting real nervous...

Burn off your fingerprints and say it happened when you were a child.

this. Link will be $100,000,000 a piece when you get out. Pervert.

Post the fucking footage faggot

We want to see some office brappers

I actually think it is illegal for them to do this. Look into your states BIPA laws.
Also just quit. Job isn't worth jail time, get the fuck out of there you idiot.

Why are you asking what your options are? Clearly your options are to go to work and get finger printed or just quit.

LARP

I have a solution but I will not provide baby assistance without 50% LINK down. Of course, we could just place these funds into a decentralized blockchain smart Oracle contract on distributed ledger technology based on the ERC 20 Ethereum standard, ChainLink

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Just quit they can't legally force you to give up your finger prints.

Don't take out the trash for a few months though or dump it in a dumpster will the police won't look for it and clean the prints from everything outside of your house. The police will go through your trash and yard looking for prints.

Catch any girls fapping at work? I do it every damn day, and always wondered if girls do it too.

I had to pause to cringe while I was reading your story.

not sure how serious you are
but you have several options

>confess
>quit/call in sick
>don't show up
>actually injure yourself to validate sickness and find new employment whilst you recover

just not showing up, or calling sick, isn't reason enough for them to compel you to take your prints, because there is no positive reason to believe it was you

quit and dont respond to anything

Once everyone else gets their fingerprints taken and they see that this larper is the only one left they're going to be mighty suspicious.

They can't legally force you to have prints taken. Find a way to convince some other coworkers to refuse to have prints taken. If you aren't the only one who refuses, they won't be able to pinpoint you.

Just don't come back there LMAO

have sex
dilate

Try again but hide it better.

Mavis get that email circulated mandatory fingerprint testing for all employees we will not tolerate a sex pest within the organization and the police have said they will crucify the perp to make an example and they have loads of fingerprint and dna evidence.
Oh Mavis by the way the police told me to make a list of all employees who suddenly quit or who fail to attend or comply with the fingerprint testing in order to narrow our lists of suspects. Have a great weekend Mavis.

They're going to lift prints from all the office equipment you usually handle as soon as you quit. Unless you want to flee the country over this, you're going to have to face the music.

yes but it doesn't matter
because they don't have evidence that it was him

op are you for real? holy shit if true. but that was a bad thing you did sir.
kek

Just get rid of your fingerprints?

Mavis before you go I need that list by 3pm monday. Additionally the police informed me that if we narrow our list of suspects down and/or one thinks he is a smartass for refusing they told me they would get a search warrant and seize every electrical device and forensically examine everything the perp has come into contact with. Phew imagine that Mavis have a great weekend.

youre completely fucked now that the police are involved even if you quit your job that will give them enough warrant to make an arrest and force you to give finger prints youre only option at this point is to take a blow torch to your fingers and take medical leave stating that you had a cooking accident and remove all possibility of evidence leading back to you

LOL
you deserve it
>everyone should pay for my existence
>no one should pay for my sins
I'm sorry user, but you did the wrong thing
you made a deal with the devil and are now crying that he's coming to collect
we tried warning you

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>retarded autist cant keep his hands out of his pants at work
>now i have to have my fingerprints registered to the police criminal database or else i get suspicion on me
thanks OP

I hope this is real

i know. why? i literally have nothing to say about it except i want it to be real. give a bit of life to the ol' Jow Forums maybe

based post

...What ?
You are on Jow Forums. "material to jerk off" is literally one ( 1 ) click away.
What the hell.

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(Fast forward to Monday)
Mavis can you come in please I need a word. Mavis Im sorry I have some disturbing news. Apparantly the police recovered some footage being hawked online that shows you brapped Mavis Im sorry but you were one of a number of women caught on images and shared online. The police have informed me that they have narrowed our list of suspects down and an arrest is coming. Mavis again Im sorry but the police have said they will throw the full weight of the law at this deviant and he will go inside and be a registered sex offender. Im putting you in touch with our legal counsel Im informed you and others can sue in the civil courts and bankrupt the perp. Additionally the press is likely to be very interested in the arrest and the perp will likely become a pariah and outcast for his perversions. After all this is over Mavis there may be a book deal or film to consider. Now Mavis do you have that list?

KEK, Holy Shit you are fucked.
well if you got enough money saved away and can haul your ass to a country with non extradition you might have a chance at beating it.
Get ready to change your name and throw away your old life for ever or get publicly shamed so bad you will probably kys.

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QUINTS GO

>1 post by this ID

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Go

FUCKING CHECKED

wasted

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user, ex-police foundations person here.

Fingerprints are the easiest thing to match up, more reliable than DNA, so if they have your fingerprints you're kind of fucked.

However, there is one of two ways out:

> Burn your fingerprints (painful and suspicious)

> Get fake fingerprints like out of silicon or something similar. I'm not sure how easy it would be to imprint, but you might be able to get a friend to help you with that or browse the dark web.

I'd go with the latter but its harder. Wish I could be more help, but I sort of ignored the practical on fingerprints, sorry.

Statistically improbable. If he used fake fingerprints and did the fingerprint testing they'd have no reason to scour his office. They'd have to have other evidence find to even be suspicious of user to do so.

if it's not a LARP
which I hope it is
but this happens all the time
unfortunately

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Pic related is your only option.

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If this is not a larp, then you have nothing to worry.
They are doing this as a bluff to see who will try to avoid this.
This is how you flip the table on them. Have some lawyer draft a legally binding contract that forbids, under penalty of a substantial fine, the company from giving your finger prints to any third party whatsoever. If they object, say you are not gonna subject yourself to potential fraud or incrimination unless they agree to be held liable.

By the way. If they agree, you still have nothing to worry. They are not gonna give your prints to the police. The police would've requested it themselves, if this was a legitimate case.

indeed.

OP, where do you live so I can keep an eye out on the local news. This will definitely make it.

I too am curious about this.

sad.

oh well, they stay super stinky anyway

Just get a lawyer, Technically they have no evidence of you doing it other than prints. Do not quit your job as that will be a dead give away, Although your appearance may give it away as they may single you out if you aren't attractive. They will use reasonable deduction to guess who would be the most likely to do such a thing.

Mavis can you come in please. I need you to empty the conference room all day monday the police are coming here to conduct the fingerprint testing personally as we have so many employees I agreed. I need doughnuts and coffee on tap. Mavis they are confident on catching the perp and are running the prints through their database already in case he has already been arrested before

This is the best post on biz in a long time

Buy as much OTO as you can and go hide out in Asia

>Didn't use gloves while doing something illegal
What were you thinking? This sounds like a classic case of natural selection.

Fucking incels dude lmao

Tyrone's gonna have fun with you in federal prison

Cut your hands and dip in pineapple. It’ll hurt but could save you from jail.

you're fucked retard
even if you quit now the police will know who to investigate, leave the country immediately unless you want this to ruin your life im not kidding.

nice fud

Say you have a relative that passed and gtfo. If you stay and are printed you lose job, go to jail, get labelled a sexual predator weirdo, get ass raped, and if you don't neck yourself with a sheet, you will be a registered sex offender when you get out and anywhere you move the neighbors will be notified. Good luck!

If the police are involved, you're screwed. If they're not, if it's just your company involved, implicate your boss if you are accused.

absolute waste, kys.

Defecate into a small mason jar and sprinkle sodium carbonate while mixing. Next vomit into the mister until you have a paste. Let sit for 6 hours so it has ample time to blend. Next grab a sharp knife and scrape your thumb, index and middle finger (both hands). Keep scraping with knife until it becomes blood red. Grab the paste and smear it on your fingers and allow it to rot. Once you feel intense burning and pain wash it off. Apply rubbing alcohol onto fingers and lotion. Your finger prints will never be the same..

this
you will get destroyed on the yard op
sex offenders are kos

i heard having sex is a good cure

wait, op. make sure you read this. you may not even need to leave the country, you could take your chances moving to a different state or wherever the fuck. you'll have to lay low for a long ass time though.

sounds like your boss is using this as leverage so you will sell you links, you gotta man up and hodl that shit and put a camera in his office if you ever want to get that lambo

You deserve it, and much worse. Face the music. Also, it's not like you could see the women. It's a bathroom. They don't usually change in there, or anything. Best options:

1) Give your fingerprints. Hope that they're bluffing, or that they'll make a mistake when comparing fingerprints (which is not TYPICAL, but also not UNCOMMON). You can't guarantee they got any actual fingerprints from the camera, and you can't guarantee that they'll reveal their information to the police.
2) Quit for good reason (e.g. find a funeral invite for some person in Oregon, say that it's your uncle, and you have to leave). Never come back. (Don't confess - you'll definitely get fired, and potentially get in legal trouble). Hope that the charges won't follow you.
3) Some high-tech solution, that involves giving fake fingerprints. But that's beyond my skill level. Possibly or similar

I don't know how they will do the fingerprints, but potentially they'll have some professional come in, and do them. If you miss the day, it's possible that they won't require you to be fingerprinted at all. Otherwise, you'll have to quit.

Not really. They'll just assume that the fingerprints are from somebody that doesn't work at the company. Of course, if OP gives a terrible excuse, they might get suspicious. So he's got to actually demonstrate sickness. I suggest vomiting at work.

1) Some non-employee snuck in to the building
2) A friend/relative of the person who put the camera in the bathroom
3) An ex-employee, who left the camera there

>The police would've requested it themselves, if this was a legitimate case.
Potentially, the police couldn't fingerprint the entire office. But if the police hears that one guy got fired ... they might decide to investigate OP.

this is what you're looking for OP.

Even if you leave your job or refuse to give your fingerprints, they can just use your work belongings to get fingerprints. Like your mouse and pen or whatever. You fucked up and deserve it. What is so difficult about using a free porn site? I'll never understand people like you

Mavis can you come in please. This is officer dibble. Mavis we have the suspect tied down to one individual. After a search of the mens restroom disturbingly another camera was discovered streaming live. Forensics are on it and discovered it streaming both online and to an address in ********** which is the address of employee user. The police obtained a search warrant and broke down the door and discovered the acolyte of a cult of green frog worshippers had been living there surrounded by electrical equipment. They seized all the computers and electrical equipment and are now forensically examining everything it seems he thought he had wiped everything but made a mistake and its all there - all his posting history and his crypto keys. He missing gone on the lam the police are putting an apb out which will go national and are blocking the ports of exit. Its only a matter of time Mavis apparantly there is a load of seperate evidence for other crimes its a damn treasure trove Mavis. Now officer dibble wants to take your statement now Mavis.......

Holy shit I don't feel bad for you, you're a piece of shit dude, your going to see plenty of "brappers" in jail man kek.

You should have just bought a high quality desktop and monitor and downloaded all the free HD porn your heart desired.

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Creep u deserve jail
coinbase.com/earn
/eos/invite
/25hgyqsv

Go on a trip and ghost your company (don't show up or report), if they inquire just say your sick, this will buy you time. Immediately work elsewhere. If your company is big enough they won't even notice for months. If not, just say you work for another company, or on a trip or sick, the more time you buy the better. And as this faggot says Also burn all the evidence. Wipe your computer. Wipe the contents. Wipe all of your porn collection, don't take any chances. Do this and they can't do shit to you.

Also stop spying on people since it's fucked up. What if someone spied on you and posted your anus online for all to see? There's already plenty of spy cam footage out there you can fap to.

they wouldn't send an email if there was a real police investigation. nice try.

This. OP is fucked, no matter how good quitting sounds.

It's probably not a police investigation. If it were, the police would be the ones asking for fingerprints.

They're probably trying to scare the guilty party into quitting.

That doesn’t give you the same rush, I never did anything like op. But I’ve hacked my ex’s Facebook and stole your nudes before (I already had literally hundreds at the time anyway) and it gives you a rush that’s different from watching Rebecca Blue deepthroat another ten inch cock. It’s hsrdvto explain unless you do it. And I look and act like a normie wage slave btw.

kek you’d have to have 5 million link for you to have a lawyer that could get you off in that case

Burn your fingerprints off.

that's only a misdemeanor, they wont even give you a year in jail. Most likely they'll just fire you

This

Quit, OP, u idiot

> Get fake fingerprints like out of silicon or something similar. I'm not sure how easy it would be to imprint, but you might be able to get a friend to help you with that or browse the dark web.
This is your only real option OP so you better get that order in now
Once you have them you will have to quietly wipe down all the things you normally handle and then re-touch them while wearing the new prints

You literally should have just bought UND a month ago and you wouldn't have this problem.

UND passively helps with nofap and getting girls.

Not quite. OP is pretty fucked if he is found out and gets charged.

youtu.be/qpqs5mkEvrs

Granted, this case was a bit more severe, but yeah it would likely be a few years in OP's case. He done goofed.

you're going to be put on a sex offenders list for life and likely go to prison.
If it's not a larp you absolutely can't give them fingerprints. Being on a sex offenders list is going to ruin your life

Get fired, stone face the women like a boss, get free housing, food in jail

I think it would be way more interesting to just flee the country and never return, that’s me though.

>quitting means the police stop investigating you.

Oddly enough been in this situation myself. Burning the fingertips is a meme that shit will be nasty for days/weeks to do it properly. The only option is flee. If you’re not larping I hope you take this seriously.

holy shit does this actually work?

Also sex offense will probably get you raped in prison, it’s the lowest status offense above molesting children. I would go to work, clean my workspace from prints, then leave the USA for good

This is a blessing in disguise op.

At the meeting don't fuck around, admit to doing it and be humble.

In jail you can get Jow Forums and meditate while practising your dick sucking skills.

Think about it! Now you'll hodl link no matter what!

>quitting means the police stop investigating you.

Oddly enough been in this situation myself. Burning the fingertips is a meme that shit will be nasty for days/weeks to do it properly. The trick is to unironicly