Kinda have to poop but not quite yet

>kinda have to poop but not quite yet
>Know you're going to have to take an uncomfortable office poop around 10am

Who else knows this terrible feel

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OP is a poor fag
>saves his company time
>doesn’t like getting paid to poop
>probably works for free after he clocks out
>going to neck himself

>probably works for free after he clocks out
would rather die than allow this

You could just be a sociochad and BLAST ASS in the office bathroom instead of being an awkward virgin waiting for people to leave, shitting when there's noise, etc

OP must be a pajeet where they have to shit in a bucket at their desk which is located in the street, I guess that would make it pretty uncomfortable

i take a shit first thing in the morning so i can wash my ass when i take a shower. who the fuck wants to walk around all day with a shitstained asshole lmfao.

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this OP
own that bathroom stall like its your own toilet. shit especially loud when you know your boss is in there with you. you'll get a promotion in no time

Based

Not pooping at work is a bad economical decision.

>doesn’t use some kind of wet wipes/dude wipes
>has a shitty painters asshole
>doesn’t poop solid turds that require little to no wiping

Wtf is wrong with you?
What kind of shit tier diet do you have?
How do you not carry wet wipes or some kind of cleaning wipes if you’re always shitting oil?

>he’s a poorfag
>he doesn’t know

>tfw bossman discovers it was me drinking free from the bathroom tap

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This. Take the potato pill and eat a tato for brek and lunk then normal shit for dinner. Be normal weight and have fat comfortable log shits.

workshitters should be gassed

>hurr durr anyone who is better with money and time then me should be gassed
>hurr durr I take an hour to shit so it’s not fair
>hurr durr I’m a fucking faggot who’s about to neck myself

>be FfPE42ry
>think it makes a difference if I wait for the weekend at my desk or on a cold dirty toilet seat

>tfw taking a runny office shit right now

>not taking at least 2 shits a day on the company dime
sort yourself out kid

When they make a dollar,
I make a dime.
That's why I poop
on company time.

This, I only poop at home and after every poop I blast my asshole with shower water from the handheld shower nozzle thing, use toilet paper to check to make sure no poop is left after, if you're not doing this you're literally a toothless hillbilly with a poopy butt.

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Chads drop loud half hour long office turds.

"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I shit on company time"

shitting during work is literally the best. i used to hate doing it but once i realized i'm being paid to empty my bowels it became a daily thing. if i have to shit in the morning, i'll hold it until i get to work.

>currently shitting
>have been for past 15 minutes
>made $6.50 just for pooping
>feels good

Literally one of life’s gifts.

>You slam a nice big cup of coffee, feeling the brown fluid do it’s work loosening your stools
>stand up and stretch, begin slowly ambling around the office to get everything into place.
>stand and lean on a colleagues desk with a big cheesy “hope Indonesia is ready for this poo-tsunami” smile.
>”I’m having a great day Karen how about you
>End the conversation and begin the march
>Ah, the disabled cubicle - room to spread my legs right out
>Bowels are gently trembling in anticipation
>pull out your phone and prepare to capture a selfie that will remind you of this blissful moment all day
>quick vape rip just to really make it happen
>hark hear the trumpet sound
>you can’t believe you possible ate this much
>get all zen
>thirty minutes later return to your desk
>oh hey Karen, you might want to leave it five minutes

I don’t even care if you’re on min wage, these moments are life’s little gifts that let us celebrate the primal luxuries of clean running water, ample food and drink, soft chairs and internet shitposting

I go to the shitter 4x15 minutes a day, making 1/8th of my wage from shitting

Pretty based desu

>Wet wipes
So do you enjoy destroying the plumbing, or do you throw all of your shitty rags into a trash can?

pretty high IQ imo, aint that wagey as others

>needing 15 minutes to shit
Drink coffee.

I lean my butt over the sink and give my dirty asshole a quick wash after pooping at work.

Shitting at work is great.
I also drink out of a mug and not a bottle to have to refill it at the tap rather frequently. This way I'm also paid while I take care of my circulation or pee for the nth time of the day because I drink so much water

Glad to see some other Chads here.

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