I'm going crazy with anxiety...

I'm going crazy with anxiety. Had a date with a girl which went very well as far as I can say with my limited experience. That was a few days ago. I tried setting up a second date but she was busy. Now I'm afraid she might have lost interest or found someone better. I'm sitting at work and can't focus cause of this shit.
Should I message her again? Give her more space and wait till she messages me?

Attached: 1533153621022.jpg (401x402, 271K)

>im busy

You arent psychic. Wait a day or two and ask again. Worst case: youll get "im busy" or other excuses repeatedly because she was too much of an ass to outright turn you down.

You have more to lose by remaining silent. But more importantly, quit being a pussy.

I asked her yesterday. You think I should wait till tomorrow to ask again? I dont have any experience with women so this is kind if overwhelming. I'll try to get my shit together but my thoughts keep drifting.

Then ask yourself this.
Does it matter?

Do you care about the impression of someone who is bothered by you asking something two days in a row?

Do your opportunites to get experience and date women suddenly plummet to the ground of this ONE person isnt up for a 2nd date?

Dating isnt a matter of do or die man, relax, be yourself, stop worrying about "the right way to so this or that" and try to enjoy the experience.

Fair enough. If she doesn't want to talk to me cause of asking she doesn't seem worth it. I'll just ask her later how her day was and see what develops.
As for the rest you said I can only say that she is the first woman in nearly 4 months of using dating apps that actually put some effort in the conversations. We are on the same page about a lot of things and she also is the cutest girl that has ever shown interest in me. As someone in his 30s with barely any experience I dont want to fuck this up. Hence my overthinking. I'm also much better at talking face to face than over text.
The funny thing is she was worried about the exact same thing since she met with 2 guys before me who told her they weren't interested after having a good date from her perspective.
Thanks for your advice though. Got to get my head in order now and just go with the flow.

What did she say specifically? If I am actually busy but want to see him then I always suggest to meet the next day I'm free

If she just said she's busy and didn't follow up to another day you can meet she's probably not interested

She said she had to study and was meeting friends later that day. I should have asked about when she was free then and there but didn't think about it.

Just message her again. Dont play these mind games. If you want something you have to put in the effort.

wow are you me? i felt like i was going through the same thing a couple weeks ago. i couldn't deal with the anxiety of waiting hours and sometimes days for the guy to respond to me so i just finally entered my give up stage just yesterday lol. i knew i was rejected when i sent the guy a mildly flirty text and he didnt take the bait, and then i told him i was off for a whole day and he didnt take the bait again (meaning i was prompting him to ask me out to do something but he never asked me)

maybe we can figure out how to solve this problem together because i need help with this too.if its truly giving you anxiety maybe its because you're focusing too much on her. its okay to start looking at other girls while you kinda 'wait' for her ya know? that way you can lower your desperation levels somewhat because if you give off signals that you are too eager that could repel her right? you wanna stay cool.

lets be real there's no form of rejection that feels good. there's the slow response rejection, there's the 'lets just be friends' rejection, there's the 'constantly making excuses' rejection, the blatant, 'fuck off creep' rejection, and by far the worst rejection which is flat out ghosting. she is not ghosting you so thats a good sign, she doesn't think you're gross at least.
i remember the other day a weird guy at work asked me out and there is no way in hell i would text him back even politely or even give him my phone number he was %100 creepy i wouldn't want to give him any hints that i was interested at all. so at the very least you aren't in the 'creeper' league

probably nothing i said helped but i tried lol hopefully you guys can see eachother again. i know how this stuff feels. it sucks

be happy that you're a guy though because you can be attractive to girls for another 10 years or so. so if this girl doesn't make the cut don't get too caught up on her. its a game and you gotta keep getting back up and playing

not OP
i agree that if you want something you have to put in the effort but people aren't 'things' that can necessarily be earned. if someone isn't attracted they sometimes just aren't attracted. i could be wrong though....im open to debate

this is exactly the reason I decline every offer of a date. If I accept one date for any reason men believe I am theirs forever and if I don't want to go on another there must be something wrong with me

not OP but user how do you find a boyfriend then if you don't accept dates?

Move on. Almost always when someone is "too busy" for a date it's because in reality they are not interested. And work on your anxiety because if you are a grown up man stressing so much over a single date then it's plainly pathetic and very unattractive to chicks.

Thanks for the reply. It's great to get some perspective from the other side.
Sorry that it didn't work out with your guy.

I'm definitely dont seem too eager or desperate. We had a handful of texts since the date so it's not like I'm spamming her. On Saturday she actually messaged me first and wished me a nice evening since I was seeing friends.
So I dont think I in creep mode. We talked for 3 hours straight without any awkward breaks. We had some banter and light flirting while also covering things like kids. She said her last boyfriend was controlling and clingy so that's another reason why I want to take it easy with the messaging. I'd focus on other girls but I'm in no mood to start swiping again. Kind of burned out from it. I'm inexperienced so female attention always messes with my head.
If she states she wants to meet again both in person and text then I dont see the issue.
I dont show the anxiety around other people. I was not a neurotic mess when I met her. We had a good time and laughed a lot.

I only had one bf but he was a guy I grew up with, and would hang out with in a group and we kinda got together.

I have accepted dates with guys I didn't know well of course and it never went well. I mean the date may have been ok but they got weird afterwards. Like they would creepily know all kinds of things about me (or assume they did) and start trying to force change in my behavior or just show up someplace I ordinarily go and say it was a coincidence. Then there were some that became sexually aggressive on the date immediately. There was one guy on the first date tried to physically drag me out of a restaurant/bar because some guy I didn't know sent me a drink.

>If she states she wants to meet again both in person and text then I dont see the issue
except I can change my mind you see

Then tell me that? I'm not a mind reader.

>I dont show the anxiety around other people. I was not a neurotic mess when I met her. We had a good time and laughed a lot.
No, you think you don't. Girls have instinct for detecting shit like this, she probably could tell you are the type to get all worked up over one date. Sort out your anxiety because it's a real chick repellent

>she was busy
If she didn't offer an alternative time this is a change of mind

Attached: 1533586864494.jpg (292x257, 9K)

I know how to behave like a normal human being. I'm not going to drown her in messages or start stalking her. And if it doesn't work out I'll be disappointed but I'm not going to start calling her names. Sounds more like you had bad luck with guys than anything else.

Do you guys never think that girls you've really only just met want this kind of pressure put just on the notion of their reply??

Look, girls choose to consistently use coded messages because they're too cowardly to actually reject someone outright, so this is what they get.

Brainlet non native speaker here. What does it mean

I mean she was worried that I would message her the next day saying that I'm not interested any longer. So it seems like she is open to meet again.

Do it faggot

Attached: 1535576202012.jpg (650x644, 50K)