Women Jow Forumsocates. Help a dude out

>My question is, is it THIS hard for girls to realize when they are on their periods and that they are grossly overreacting?

1. Basic hormonal reactions is health class 101. If you don't understand menstrual cycles and how drastically they can affect mood and emotions you need to read some fuckin' books, kid. If overcoming massive hormonal shifts were as easy as just being conscious of it then the entire world would be a much simpler place.

2. Don't pin this all on her period. I've been with dozens of women in my lifetime and the few who act like this I've dropped immediately. You've made the decision to date an insecure, overreactive women. We can sit here all day and complain about how ridiculous she is but lets not forget that you're the one who chose her and continues to participate in this relationship that you're allegedly so frustrated with. If you want a woman that acts more mature in these kinds of situations then stop dating immature ones. Seriously, complaining about her behavior is a little moronic when you're the one who continues to subject yourself to it.

You describe it like you don't have that power.
Most guys can do that. We notice movement in a direction we weren't focusing on, glance over and then back. If there is something worth looking at, we get a better look.
I just don't think you are conscious about it.
Try to focus on her eyes while you talk to her next time.
It helps reduce these impulses.

>The first topic.
I do know that, doesn't make things ok.
And if it's so impossible to overcome, NOTICE that shit and ponder "should I risk being angry with someone for possibly no good reason or just back off to prevent this from happening and explain the situation?". This is emotional awareness 101.

>The second topic
I agree, I did choose to date her knowing that full well. Doesn't make this magically fine.
I know where this comes from and everything that helped it erupt. That's why I'm being patient with her while also putting the cards at the table for her to see afterwards.
But again, knowing where this comes from doesn't make it less of a problem.

And all I wanted to know is if this is a common reaction.

Do I? Well I've dealt with guys with wandering eyes before, I know how it works. It's not your fault. You didn't realize what you did and snapping is a bad way to react. You can chalk up her inappropriate reaction to her period, but it must happen often enough that she had some ground to explode at you like that.
Don't get upset at her, she's just a little insecure is all.

This is so BS.
Even if it is true, the fact that I didn't even register the girl there should be enough of an argument for her to not care about it.
>How would she know?
Because I purposedly never lie to her so she can believe me in a situaion like this.
But fuck 2 years of experience on how my bf works and treats me, my vagina is imploding on itself.

1. Extreme emotions and mood swings during menstrual cycles can actually be a medical issue. Also, depending on the women they can vary quite a bit. Some PMS symptoms are pretty mild and some can be off the wall insane. Again, I don't really think you understand the effect of hormones on the body. The assertion that simply being aware of your emotions is all it takes to prevent massive mood swings caused by excess hormones rushing through your body is the complete antithesis to everything we understand about the human body. There is a difference between being unable to control yourself in the moment and being unable to admit later on that you overreacted.

2.
>I agree, I did choose to date her knowing that full well. Doesn't make this magically fine.
I hope you understand what a moronic statement you just made. You chose to date her knowing full well that this is how she behaves yet you still want to maintain your position that the way she behaves isn't okay? You bought a car knowing all the features it came with yet when you get home you want to complain about how it isn't good enough? This isn't about who is right, user. This is about a solution, correct? The solution is to either work through these issues afterwards when she has had a moment to calm down and reflect or find a girl that doesn't have these issues. That is it. She is who she is. You knew who she was before getting into this so your shock and dismay about her behavior is a waste of time. Either do the best with what you have or find a different girl. The one who should be kicking themselves in the ass here is you.

I'm not exploding on her. I'm venting here precisely so I don't do it to her. I know it would be disastrous.

What I'm most upset about is her lack of emotional awareness. I know she'll learn that in time, but it's still just toxic behaviour.

>I didn't even register the girl
I don't always either.
I still stare.
It is an instinct, not something creepy you chose to do.
You have to be aware of it so you can stop yourself from doing it.

Are you one of her first real relationships? I had to ruin a few good things I had going before I finally realized that I was and still sort of am really insecure, and that I overreact a lot. Then again, I never had anyone who was willing to help me to change the way I think about myself and others.
If you tell her how her reaction made you feel without sounding accusatory or anything, maybe she'll be smart enough to empathize.

>1
There's also a difference between overcoming it and noticing it and getting some space so it doesn't rub on people.
The first I know is impossible, the second I do when I'm pissed and don't want to cool off, why shouldn't do the she?

>2
>You chose to date her knowing full well that this is how she behaves yet you still want to maintain your position that the way she behaves isn't okay?
Yes, because it's also bad for her and I want to make her happy. This thing is in the way, so I'm slowly teaching her how to approach her emotions in a way that doesn't come back to bite her in the ass.
I'm not fighting her btw. I'm being an asshole here so I'm not to her later. Precisely the thing I want her to learn.
>You bought a car knowing all the features it came with yet when you get home you want to complain about how it isn't good enough?
Doesn't prevent me from fixing it, does it?
I fell in love with her. I don't choose to date just Ferraris. THAT would be a dick move.
>This isn't about who is right, user. This is about a solution, correct?
Again, not fighting her. I'm just pissed and venting here.
> The solution is to either work through these issues afterwards when she has had a moment to calm down and reflect or find a girl that doesn't have these issues. That is it. She is who she is. You knew who she was before getting into this so your shock and dismay about her behavior is a waste of time.
I love her and want her to be the happiest girl in the world. I won't date a Ferrarri because I'm lazy. I'd much rather work on this bent car until it shines proudly.
> Either do the best with what you have or find a different girl. The one who should be kicking themselves in the ass here is you.
Now this is the dick move right here. I feel it would be at the very least irresponsible and inconsiderate not to at least try to help her out. Trust me, she has way worse emotional issues than just periods. We made load of progress and she loves me even more for it.

Read my other post.

>shouldn't she do the same.
Holy shit, I didn't even drink.

Car analogies suck. She's not something that should be judged like a new pickup.
If you want her to change for the better, you need to tell her how you feel in a neutral way. I guarantee if you just let her stew in her own insecurity and insensitivity, it'll hurt you before it hurts her.
How do you hope she changes? What can you/ are you willing to do to make things go smoothly?

Dont let her insecurities bother u lol care about yourself more than her. If she's not happy even after your explanation the problem is with her not u

1. You are allowed to have eyes

You are allowed to look at whatever you want to, purposefully or no. If someone is mad at you for looking at someone else, especially casually, that is their problem and they need to do something about it. The only thing you can do is assure her that if you wanted to be with X you would chase X and not spend time cultivating the relationship with Y like you are now. However you have eyes and biological drives that males, and females, cannot control. There will always be pretty people, people prettier than you and her, in the world and your brain will MAKE YOU LOOK AT THEM. This does not mean that you are going to abandon Y, and if she thinks that then their are bigger issues than glancing at a girl with huge tits.

2. Don't blame the period

People are fully responsible for their own emotions and actions. You don't get a free pass just because you are hormonal. If its an issue then she needs to so something about it rather than making you, and herself, suffer. You don't have a right to treat someone like garbage just because you bleed once a month.

3. Stop enabling her
Venting to us about it is one thing, but you need to put your foot down. You need to put it down with her. No if's, and's or buts. She does this because you let her do this. When she treats you like that tell her its unacceptable to you, that you will not continue the conversation while she is like this, then STICK TO IT. Leave the house, turn your phone off if you have too. Come back to it later once both of you have calmed down. Rinse and repeat if necessary until a sane resolution comes along. Not every disagreement has to be an argument/fight. If it is that way, if there is no sane way to solve the problem, then you may need to think long and hard about the relationship.

cont.

4. > I'd much rather work on this bent car until it shines proudly

Whats bent? Is it your problem to solve? Can you even solve it? If that car can't accept that Ferraris and exist, but despite that you chose it, then that a her problem that she needs to solve and no amount of your meddling will do anything about it.

>I feel it would be at the very least irresponsible and inconsiderate not to at least try to help her out. Trust me, she has way worse emotional issues than just periods. We made load of progress and she loves me even more for it.

RED FLAG!!!!

Stop trying to fix people. You shouldn't be fixing other people. People fix themselves. They can have support, but they are the ones that have to do the work in order to make meaningful and lasting changes. You need to stop and ask yourself why you feel that way, why you feel the need to fix people, why you feel guilt over thinking about leaving when the job isn't done? Love cannot, does not, solve everything. You cannot 'love' another persons problems away, and sometimes that's the last thing you should be doing.

shannonleighwatson.com/blog-feed/articles/fixing-other-peoples-problems

Ah, okay. So the issue here is that you're a fixer. You find broken girls and feel compelled to improve them and "help them out" with their emotional issues because that's the only way you know how to process intimate relationships. Yeah, you're shit out of luck as far as advice goes. You'll either continue this pattern into your adult life and curse yourself to a future of being perpetually disappointed and frustrated by the broken women you insist upon trying to fix or you'll grow up, pull your head out of your ass and start dating women who don't need you to be their therapist/boyfriend hybrids and know how to take care of their own shit.

This

Ok, I'm back for more.

I already am doing a lot. Everytime I think of her I think of ways to make her life better, like generally being a better boyfriend or giving her a helping hand on her problems.
This thread started as me venting about her period, so I'll say this just for arguments sake and won't reply on this topic after this. She has some emotional issue where whenever she gets angry enough with something she does like a turtle and shuts herself off even from me. This would be fine if she came back after a hissy fit, but her mind spirals down into some dark corners if I left it unchecked for very long.
She's absolutely fine on her own, I'm not saying I'm a necessity for her, but she doesn't forget things and they pile up, so much so I have to bring her back to earth and remind her that I love her.
But this isn't the topic of the thread. I won't reply to this specific topic.

>1
I know all that and I want to tell her this also so she gets it, but she's vindictive. She is perfectly fine when she's not pissed, but the times she's not makes me fear that anything I say might hit her in a bad moment and cause a break up.
>2
I never said anything to her about her period. I'm saying it just here because I know it's what's affecting her the most right now. Plus, I try to never fight with her, anything I say I say like I'm a zen monk with the intention of calming her down.
>3
I'm on the works of doing just that. I'm feeling the field to be able to tell when and how I can do this so that a possible ultimatum doesn't backfires. It did once, then she cooled off.

>4
She has selfsteem issues among other things I'd rather not list.
>Red flag
I worded myself badly. I don't grab her problems and solve them forcefully. I try to give her the emotional support to do it and point at the problem so she works on it.

A lot of assumptions here.
You say it like I found out about her issues first and then wanted to date her. It's the opposite. I dated her, fell in love, found out about her weaknesses and didn't cower from them, I love her more than I dislike her weaknesses.

If your girlfriend is getting angry at you for looking at other human beings, that should be a GIANT red flag for you. If she's so insecure with herself and her relationship with you, then that's all on her. You know the truth and if she refuses to listen to it, then it's time for you to pump and dump her insecure ass.

If she's already flipping out about you being human and looking at other women in casual passing, then imagine what it's going to be like years from now if you stay with her?

I'd let this crazy one go, man. You'll find others.

Btw, I just read the article you posted anyways.
The guy is just a plain out dick if he actually did that disdain shit to people. Like goddamn. It stops being about the person and starts being about your own ego self projecting to people.

Believe me when I say this: I'm well versed on psychology, meditation, spiritualism, human interactions and how to teach emotional awareness. All this just from personal taste I got from growing up and actually trying to better myself. I know full well how to be mindful of my actions at all times and how I go on about approaching people's problems whenever they ask me to. Never, not even once, have I done anything close to what this guy on the article did. I may get pissed depending on the situation, but being mindful of it I swallow it and walk away or help further depending on what I feel is best for the person at the moment.

I'd legit be automatically disgusted at myself if I even talk angry to someone without a good reason, and the only reason I see fit for this is shock therapy. It still would be with the intent of helping them.

I don't choose who I love.
I love, everything else is manageable.

I’m a dude whose gf is fairly feminist, and whose best friend is a gay chick who is decently feminist (with a vegan outspoken feminist professor for a gf), who himself has been called (by said gay female friend) the most effeminate masculaine guy she’s ever met, and who does like to think of himself as pretty egalitarian:

Don’t take that shit from her.

Periods are a thing and you can give a little leeway, but they are not a free pass to be a bitch.

Alternatively you could just buckle and let it slide, it then that’s just setting yourself up for this to be a persistent thing.

Respect should be mutual, and boundaries should be clear. Really, If she gets a pass to be randomly shitty, so should you. Or better yet, you both don’t do that.

Another thing is, you also need to work with her to let her know she’s being unreasonable and it sbexoming a trend. If she agrees then cool, you got something done. If she doesn’t, it sup to you to decide if this is one of those things you’re cool with, or you are not.

Then shut the fuck up and deal with it. Don't whine while pretending to look for advice.

Well, if you'd look for the question I did on the OP you'd gather what I've actually asked, how no one answered and how I don't even care what you say if you are not a femanon.

>This would be fine if she came back after a hissy fit, but her mind spirals down into some dark corners if I left it unchecked for very long.

>but she doesn't forget things and they pile up, so much so I have to bring her back to earth and remind her that I love her.

Not your problem. You can't fix that. You are a bandaid on an ever growing wound.

>Everytime I think of her I think of ways to make her life better

That is not healthy, this is co-dependancy.

>But this isn't the topic of the thread. I won't reply to this specific topic.

Don't come to advice and bitch when you get it. Just because its not what you wanted to hear. That this is a problem that you can't fix, at least not on her end (her issues). You can only fix yourself, and you can start doing that by getting rid of your need to 'fix' others.

>but she's vindictive. She is perfectly fine when she's not pissed, but the times she's not makes me fear that anything I say might hit her in a bad moment and cause a break up.

Thats abusive and emotionally manipulative.

>I never said anything to her about her period
Previously on op is a faggot
> is it THIS hard for girls to realize when they are on their periods and that they are grossly overreacting?

Liar. You can lie to yourself but don't try to lie to us.

>I'm feeling the field to be able to tell when and how I can do this so that a possible ultimatum doesn't backfires

Unhealthy relationship. You shouldn't have to do this to talk to someone.

>I worded myself badly.

Semantics. We knew what you meant don;t try to weasel out of it because we called you out on it.

>I dated her, fell in love, found out about her weaknesses

Lovebombing - devalue- discard

The article was written from the perspective of a someone who has codependency issues. disdain is a natural human emotion that many people with issues like co-dependency pretend they don't have, which is part of the problem.

OP: "GIVE ME ADVICE!!!"
Anons: Here is some advice.
OP: "NO, NOT THAT ADVICE! ONLY TELL ME THINGS I WANT TO HEAR."

You just said everything I've been saying this entire thread.

I never said anything to her about her period, it's unpolite and insensitive.
Did lay down some things to her to protect my own space from her going overboard though.
I'd never fight her if not for a damn good reason, I lay things calmly.

cont.

>I know full well how to be mindful of my actions at all times and how I go on about approaching people's problems whenever they ask me to

Stop trying to fix other people. Fix yourself first.

>Never, not even once, have I done anything close to what this guy on the article did.

They got over their co-dependacy and started to take care of themselves before trying to help others. Which is what everyone should do anyways, and in reality is the only way you will be able to effectively help anyone.

>I'd legit be automatically disgusted at myself if I even talk angry to someone without a good reason

Anger is a natural human emotion. You are allowed to be upset. Its only how you go about expressing that can be a issue for some.

You bare all the hallmarks of a co-dependent in an abusive relationship with someone that very likely has BPD. Maybe even NPD. But you didn't give us very many details about her behavior so its hard to say.

psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-of-codependency/
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency

>Liar. You can lie to yourself but don't try to lie to us.
I didn't lie. If I did what would I gain? What would be the use of lying to someone I'm asking something for?
>The article was written from the perspective of a someone who has codependency issues. disdain is a natural human emotion that many people with issues like co-dependency pretend they don't have, which is part of the problem.
Look, you don't know me and I don't have the means to prove things on the internet, so you have to trust me.
Never on my life I gave half a shit for myself whenever someone else was around. I know this is bad and call it whatever you want, but I don't think you could make a case saying that helping people is bad. Based on that knowledge and my genuine drive to help people from a very young age I worked myself from the ground up to actually help them whenever needed and not fuck them over because of ignorance or whatever may it be.
I don't think I'm anywhere near a good person. I don't even think anything of me, I find unnecessary to even open the field for self esteem to play. But the things I do help people with, are things I know they work and I know how to pass it on to that particular person.
I don't solve them, I give them what they need that I can provide. Just that.

For everything else you said, I said I wouldn't reply. Won't even answer why.
And also read .

lmfao, that bait twist.

this whole thread and the retarded replies herein as well. top kek.

yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about OP. unless you stared, there wasn't actually any noise to prompt looking, or you followed the woman, I know exactly what you're talking about.

this is still a bait post lmao.

>Stop trying to fix other people. Fix yourself first.
I very rarely have sad days. My childhood was really happy and my adult days, althought stressfull, I can hardly say I don't enjoy them. Don't have any sort of self esteem problems.
My life is fine. Don't need to fix much.
>They got over their co-dependacy and started to take care of themselves before trying to help others.
Also did that, as stated on the previous post. Do that everyday btw.
>Anger is a natural human emotion. You are allowed to be upset. Its only how you go about expressing that can be a issue for some.
I'm allowed and I allow it. It's a whole other bag of worms to let it consume you and make you do dumb things.
I'd get disgusted not at being angry, but at not being able to use it more wisely.
>But you didn't give us very many details about her behavior so its hard to say.
And I won't. This was never the intention of the thread.

youtube.com/watch?v=R07vVt-2diU

youtube.com/watch?v=dW1Wao3eF5Q

Hindsight is 20/20
Let it sleep and she will come around if she has any reason

Hormones are a funny thing, seven years with my girl and it usually takes her about twenty minutes to realize when she's gone on rag-rage, but I'm always understanding (well, 95% of the time, sometimes I razz her over it)

If you care for/about her just let her come round. She will, or at least she should

Thanks.
I think that too. I think she will.
If she's still agry, at least I think she'll be off her hormones and I can talk to her normally about it.

I've read the symptoms of codependency from your post. Can't see them applying to me.
>Low self-esteem
Sorry, no.
>People pleasing
Kind of yeah, but only after I please myself.
>Poor boundaries
I do have, but I choose to lay those down when I feel necessary for my intentions.
>Reactivity
I am gullible, agree. Am working around it. But since I learned to meditate this doesn't affect me no more. It's still there, I just let it go.
>Caretaking
This is one of the major things I ACTUALLY had to take care of when I was younger. I'm mostly over it now. Now I take care of myself so I can take better care of the people that come to me.
>Control
Never had this towards people. I do like things where I can see them, but this goes away after my first cup of coffee. So I guess it's the same as nothing.
>Trouble communicating
This so happens to be the trait people praise me for. I can talk for days and express what I think well.

I could go on, but yeah, I'm not that.