how do i stop being a failed normie?
definition of failed normie (imo):
>have only acquaintances, no close friends
>get invited out sometimes but not all the time
>depressed but put on a facade of happiness
>virgin
>no great issues in life but just generally sad
>still feel like a child
>no one takes me seriously
how do i stop this? i want to be a real normie, not stuck in limbo between normie and failure
You're a robot, user. Do not deny your destiny to become a grand wizard.
im not though. i don't like weeb shit. i don't socialise well with weebs or autists. i have normie interests. im just a mild failure
you are not a failed normie, you are just different. I would say going though life as a "normie" is a failure. Also you just seem depressed. Go exercise and find something that you like and actually put your full effort in to it.
>but I don't have any interests
thats called depression, find something and obsess over it like the autists we all are and become truly great at something. Your self esteem will go up and magically people will want to hang out with you more.
think about this: who wants to hang out with a low energy guy who really isn't interesting or outgoing?
no i have interests. i even share the same interests as a lot of "normal" people, and try to connect with them on those interests. but a lot of the time it feels like im perpetually in a group conversation trying to say shit, and people just ignoring me. i don't know why they do that, especially as these aren't "mean" people, they're people that everyone likes and says good things about
and i don't want to be "different" if this is what different is. i want a group of friends that will reliably invite me to everything, not to just be drifting around acquaintances.
sounds like you need to get a different friend circle. I have a really weird sense of humor and about 80% of people don't get it, They are polite and listen to me but don't really want to hang out because they don't get me, But once in awhile I meet somebody and we click like old war buddies and talk for hours and laugh the whole time. You gotta find more like minded people.
Not trying to be mean, but you are not that unique. there are a million people who are very close to your personality type, just try harder to find them.
ive tried. im at college so i try and do a lot of different things and meet people in different clubs and bars and shit. but all i get is more acquaintances, not friends
im in a very weird situation where i pretty much have a party to go to every other night, or someone to drink or hang with at some occasion. but i have no FRIENDS, no one texts me, no one hits me up for spontaneous daytime chilling or going for coffee or some shit. and on top of all this im a virgin. it all sucks. i want real friends. people who care about me
I'm in the same(ish) sort of scenario. Do you often invite other people out? I thought the same thing as you before and waited for people to invite me out. Then I thought fuck it and asked people out for drinks and things got abit better.
nah i don't often invite people out. only because all the "friends"/friendly acquaintances i have are people who have their own tight-knit circle of college friends that im not quite a part of. so if i invited them out it would feel weird, like i was violating some kind of social code, or making a faux pas
maybe i shouldn't feel this way but i don't see the alternative
had a similar experience my freshman year. I thought I was a hard ass, making snide comments and brooding all the time. (I am not saying that is what you are doing) my point is that you might try a little more enthusiasm towards the people you prefer. People like to be wanted even if its a male on male friendship. Don't be afraid to show your interested in talking to them more. Be as upbeat as possible without overselling it,
Pick the one you would want to hang out with
>One: yeah I guess we could go to whatever later, just text me and we'll make plans and just chill
>two:(shows up with flippers and a snorkle) guys you gotta come see this shit by the river, come on lets go
Be the guy who has an idea!
yeah i see what you're saying. ive definitely been guilty of being the brooding type
thing is im just scared. scared that i'll open up and try to get closer to people and they'll think im being weird or reject me.
acquaintances are close friends user we are all human. if you think friends are pokemon to be collected, and if you dont see someone ever again theyre not your friend youre wrong. Facade of happiness is a bad idea, sometimes its reassuring to see other people acting like depressed assholes, just dont overdo it. The thing I've been trying lately is to see LESS of my friends, so every time we do see each other we have endless stories to tell and things to talk about.
thats nice but its just not true, is it?
I mean I'd try anyway, why not?
No one will think you are weird for inviting them out to go do something. They'll likely enjoy the idea. If its rejection you are worried about, I can't really offer much more than just try anyway. The worse they can say is no but just move on and try hanging out with other people. Eventually you'll click with some cool people.
I kind of agree with them. Though I'm mid twenties and you might be younger. I realised I was way too caught up in Facebook friend numbers and popularity then I was with actual happiness. Do you find yourself looking up other facebook profiles and being envious?
Well people are picking up on your insecurity vibe.
DO NOT do self deprecating humor no matter how insignificant the comment might seem. It puts people off because they feel obligated to say something nice or just ignore it. You are holding them socially hostage at that point and its weird.
I know its a cliche but people really do respond to confidence. But its more like sincerity with a little bravado.
keep trying, you'll get there user
>No one will think you are weird for inviting them out to go do something
but what if they think im desperate or something. like "user has never invited me out before, he must be doing it cause he's desperate and alone"
>Do you find yourself looking up other facebook profiles and being envious?
no because im quite good at cultivating my social media in a way that makes me look like hot shit. if you looked at my facebook or instagram you wouldn't match it to my posts here.
but i do find myself looking at other people's real lives and getting sad. like going to a party and overhearing other people talk about the fun shit they did in the day. or hearing people talk about their best friends. i have no best friend. and i don't do shit in the day. i sit on my ass browsing Jow Forums and watching youtube videos and shit until the evening when, hopefully, i have a birthday party or random bar event to go to where i can pretend for a few hours like im a social butterfly
>but what if they think im desperate or something. like "user has never invited me out before, he must be doing it cause he's desperate and alone"
Copied from another thread 'Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.'
>no because im quite good at cultivating my social media in a way that makes me look like hot shit. if you looked at my facebook or instagram you wouldn't match it to my posts here.
Thats not really what I meant. You come across like you do play the social media just by that comment imo. I could be wrong but its really sounding like it. Its not healthy, its not a contest.
>but i do find myself looking at other people's real lives and getting sad. like going to a party and overhearing other people talk about the fun shit they did in the day. or hearing people talk about their best friends. i have no best friend. and i don't do shit in the day. i sit on my ass browsing Jow Forums and watching youtube videos and shit until the evening when, hopefully, i have a birthday party or random bar event to go to where i can pretend for a few hours like im a social butterfly
Yea thats more what I meant. Sounds super cliche but I think you really need to find yourself and what you truly want and what makes you happy. Obviously I'm basing this only off a couple lines on the internet and don't know you. Don't take any offense to it.
>There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever
yeah i know. but won't people think its weird if, after knowing me for a year or more and me never inviting me out, i just out of the blue hit them up like "lets hang"? what if they think im asking them on a date lol?
>Its not healthy, its not a contest
desu i would feel less desire to play the social media game if my actual real social life was more satisfying
>what you truly want and what makes you happy
well i want a solid group of friends that invites me everywhere, or to most things. people to do things during the day with. people you can hit up like "yo lets go to mcdonalds" or "hey lemme come round yours n play xbox" outta nowhere and they'll always say yes. even if it was literally just two or three people.
>yeah i know. but won't people think its weird if, after knowing me for a year or more and me never inviting me out, i just out of the blue hit them up like "lets hang"? what if they think im asking them on a date lol?
Again, I'd just expose yourself to it. If someone accuses you of wanting to date them when all you (Genuinely) want to do is hang out then call them out on it and get new friends.
>well i want a solid group of friends that invites me everywhere, or to most things. people to do things during the day with. people you can hit up like "yo lets go to mcdonalds" or "hey lemme come round yours n play xbox" outta nowhere and they'll always say yes. even if it was literally just two or three people.
Do you know people in specific who would be down for that? Ask them.
I know its not helpful but that sounds perfect to me too and I'd love that.
>Do you know people in specific who would be down for that?
no not really. i mean i know people who would like to do that sort of thing generally speaking. but i don't know of anyone who would want to do that with me. inevitably anyone i ask, its just gonna feel like im begging them to hang out with me. they've got their close friends, and i don't have any, so them making time out of their day to chill with me would be like a weird act of charity
Again it just boils down to you not being able to cope with rejection.