Random Rant

God damn I hate being trans.
I'm mostly seen as a walking political statement when I'd rather not have a thing to do with politics.
Both cis women and cis men don't really take me seriously at all, and I'm not seen as dating material unless I'm attractive. I'm not a hon by any means, but I'm not as cute as I'm sure some of you out there are.
You could say that's true between cis couples, which it kind of is to a degree, but it's harsher for trans folks.
The only real dating pool I have is other transgenders, which I don't 'normally' like my own kind very much.
I have somewhat high standards with the friends I keep around. The people I keep around as friends, or see as potential lovers, need to be able to think for themselves, and have a slightly higher self awareness and sense of empathy than most people I meet. Problem is most trans folks don't have either. And most cis people I meet who have those traits tend to avoid trans folks because they're seen as more trouble than what they're usually worth.
So now my dating pool and friend pool is pretty much fucked.
I also hate dealing with the fact that, again, while I'm not a hon, some people can tell I'm obviously born a man.

So instead, I think I'm going to do something different.
A few months ago, after years of HRT, my mindset for my gender identity has changed.
I'm not a female. Most of society wouldn't think me female if they know I was born male.
But I'm sure as hell not male either. Sure, I was born with a set of balls, but anyone who knows me would agree I'm far too feminine in a lot of ways to truly be considered 'male', socially speaking.
But, I don't think it really matters to me much anymore. The stupid labels we try to apply to ourselves and live by, while good for understanding the world around us in a basic matter, is extremely limiting when someone different happens to come along. The 'male' and 'female' persona of society is just one of these labels.

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I would agree there is what you're born as, or what your chromosomes are. In that sense, sure, I think MTFs are male, and FTMs are female, but there's far more to us as people than just our hardcoding. There's also our social labels, and beyond that, the things that make all of us unique. Every person has their own version of the human condition, and with us still relying so much on heuristics such as labeling, a lot of us miss that.
It's extremely discouraging and dumb that a lot of people stick to their ridged thinking of 'you are * and thats it'. We're so much more than that. All of us are unique little pieces of humanity by ourselves. Unfortunately, I sometimes feel I'm the only one in the world that realizes that. I know I'm not, but I really feel I am because of the people around me.
Back to my own identity, I've started to realize, my gender doesn't matter to me anymore.
I'm not a 'male'. But I'm not a 'female', in the sense of social standing. I'm 'me'. Whatever that happens to be.

I'm staying on Estrogen. But it's really only because I hate the effects of testosterone on my body.
But otherwise, I plan on getting my name changed to something gender neutral but normal sounding, and I'll just live as 'me'.
I also realize this will alienate me even further. Since now I'd be refusing to stick to any real label beyond 'special butterfly'. Which is painful. But at this point, I should probably get used to being alone.
I have no family, and not a single person I'd truly consider a friend. Which is probably why I'm whining and posting here, since I have no where else to vent to, and I hope at least one of you out there can understand my plight and perhaps lend some words I would otherwise not get.

Wish me luck, I suppose. I hope you all find your own happiness, and I hope there comes a day where we don't think eachother lesser just off superficial crap like the labels we live by. When that day comes, I think a lot of us will truly start developing the deeper connections that so many of us yearn for.

>The stupid labels we try to apply to ourselves and live by, while good for understanding the world around us in a basic matter, is extremely limiting when someone different happens to come along. The 'male' and 'female' persona of society is just one of these labels.
This.
I've known a few trans people. Liberal arts degree and all that.
And I've always wondered about that.
I have a penis and I'm not your typical man. I don't give a shit about what most men care about
And yet I'm still a man.

These people people I've met who are trans are obsessed about having penises or vaginas.
And here I am just thinking "I've never cared"

You've got it bud. It doesn't matter what genitals you have.
What matters is what you do. The labels are bullshit.
They're just for dating. And that's only important for matching up for children.

You aint a male and tried to be female and became a monster

Just my 2 cents. Probaly offensive to most trans people, but I dont intend it that way. But its what I know to be true. Souls are not male or female. Bodies are man or woman, except in very small genetic abnormalities. Across cultures and in our language Woman is a root word of womb-man. Denoting a person capable of bearing children. I think society has gone off the rails confusing the two. There is nothing wrong with having tendencies that are feminine while being a man, or being a woman who likes masculine things. I strongly suggest focusing on what you enjoy in moderation rather than labels.

I still wish I had a vagina instead, but oh well. I have what I have. I've started to learn it's best to accept and make the most out of what I have. Any 'dysphoria' I feel is my mind doing dumb crap, and it's up to me to decide if I let it rule over me or not.

But yeah, I think I'm slowly understanding myself and the world around me enough to the point of having self acceptance within view.
I'll deal with some alienation due to me being different, but it's just my own burden to deal with, I suppose.

Monster is a bit harsh though, isn't it?
I'm still male or female depending in which label definition you go with. Biologically, I'm male. How I interact with a world is more akin to how a female would, though.
So really the label has a subjective part of it.

I think part of the confusion comes from the fact that some of us build our entire identities around being 'male' or 'female'. A example of this being how so many men worry about being 'gay' because society usually deems gay people as less 'manly' and worthwhile.
So while there is the biological part of it for sure, now we have the whole 'gender identity' confusion coming up due to society expecting you to fit one of those aforementioned identities.
So now we have a bunch of people making up new labels so they feel like they fit in somehow, because the old ways of thinking about identity are falling apart due to how fast our identities are growing with the invention of the internet.

That's just my take on it, though.

>The only real dating pool I have is other transgenders, which I don't 'normally' like my own kind very much.
This is why people dont take you seriously.
You are a spoiled asshole. You expect the world to change for you and you stay the same.
People like you are the problem to the transcommunity. Its ok to have standards but yours is ridiculous.
You make yourself a victim when your personality is the problem.
There are trans who legit get fucked up for being trans, you use your identity like a fad and you are disgusting.

You are a man.

One of my best friends claimed he was trans
I cured him of this mental disease after talking a lot to him
He realised that deep down he was gay but subconsciously tried to justify his attraction to men by thinking he should have been a girl
There's a good chance that you suffer the same problem

tl:dr, stop pretending to be a woman

My only real standard is, like I said before, having the ability to think for themselves, have slightly higher self awareness than most, and still have some empathy.
Other than that, I'd keep whoever around. The reason I say I don't 'normally' like my own kind too much, is because I've only met a couple trans people that have those traits.

All around, I think your post comes from a place of unnecessary spite, and I think you're misreading the situation a bit. I'm not expecting or wanting the world to change around me, I am instead trying to understand it just a little better so I can understand my own place in it.

Still, if you really do have issues with me, then would you mind trying to help talk me through it instead of just being angry about it? Perhaps if we had a proper discussion about it, I could better understand where you're coming from.

If you're going off the biological definition or sex, then yeah, I'm not disagreeing.

Thing is, people are extremely complicated. Thinking I have the same train of thought as your friend is a bit foolhardy.
I don't have to justify my attraction to anyone, since for the longest time, I've accepted that I'm bisexual. It's not really a point of personal conflict to me at all.

The reason I think I'm trans is because, I have reason to believe my mother raised me to be one.
I'm not in contact with either of my parents anymore, and haven't in years, because they're not really people I should keep around or take seriously, but there's heavy hints in my childhood that my mother was trying to raise me to be more like a girl than a boy, in the stereotypical sense.
The issue, is that acknowledging this doesn't make my feelings go away, exactly. I'm still who I am, which happens to be a extremely feminine person in some regards.
Still, I'm not exactly expecting or wanting the world to bend over and think I'm women either, because biologically, I'm not. But anyone who knows me would agree I'm not exactly male either, from the social definition of gender.

I'm just going to ignore this post entirely.

lol
You're a guy if you're born with a dick, simple as that
Your mental illness changes nothing

You're saying this as if it's news to me.

Then your thread is pointless
Sage

>My only real standard is, like I said before, having the ability to think for themselves, have slightly higher self awareness than most, and still have some empathy.
But you dont do that, especially when you say stupid shit like cis male and say they dont treat you like you seriously.

The reason i am spiteful is because you are using the gender issue to get attention. You know you are being spoiled and you know that you arent being treated poorly because you are trans, its because you are an asshole. Seriously you are an asshole.
If you were truly trans you would have never brought up the fact how much your value your gender identity.
If you were truley trans then you know who you are and you are cemented into it. You would never use garbage words like cis male and cis women. That kind of talk says you dont want peace you want attention.
To me being trans isnt a mental instability, but i think you have a mental problem for abusing the trans issue to get attention and praise. There is something wrong with you and its not because you are transgender.

I don't normally use the word 'cis', but it's a good, simple way to say 'people who aren't trans'.
I don't quite understand why using that identifier is bad, exactly. Though like I said, I don't normally say or use it very often in my day to day life.

>when you say stupid shit like cis male and say they dont treat you like you seriously.
Are you trying to imply the reason they don't take me seriously is because I use the terms? Because, again, I normally don't. I'm only using it here to better get a message across.

>you are using the gender issue to get attention.
How so? Are you meaning trying to get attention here on Jow Forums?
Because I'm trying to get other peoples insights and thoughts, I'm not exactly aiming to get attention. Otherwise I'd go on /vr/ and say ps2 is retro and watch the (you)s roll in.

>You know you are being spoiled
I don't, exactly. How exactly am I being spoiled?

>you know that you arent being treated poorly because you are trans, its because you are an asshole.
Those who are in my life tend to say I'm extremely kind and considerate, and smart in the sense that I'm willing to change my views and opinions and grow.
I was kind of saying in the OP that being treated differently, like I don't matter much, is mostly 'because' I'm trans.
The posters here going straight to 'mindless attack' mode kind of makes my point here.

>If you were truly trans you (...)
I don't know about this. Some other trans I've personally met attach themselves onto their gender label and base their social life around it. I don't quite agree with them doing this, but it does seem normal. What does 'truly trans' mean to you?

>If you were truley trans then you know who you are and you are cemented into it.
Something is wrong here. Nearly all trans I've met that are early into their transition (Within a few years), tend to suffer from not knowing who they actually are yet. So I'm wanting to say this is wrong in most cases.

>That kind of talk says you dont want peace you want attention.
I use the 'cis' term as a easier identifier so I can hopefully have less chances of being misunderstood. It's not out of wanting attention, it's out of wanting to be understood.
And cis and trans people *are* normally different in their mentalities about life in general, in every single case I've found.

>To me being trans isnt a mental instability
I don't know how you came to the conclusion that I thought it was a mental instability. Because I don't think it is.
I think trans is just another way of living life and another label to help us feel we understand ourselves and eachother a bit better.
Me having a unfavorable view on transgenders is just because of my own experience with them. I'm not saying they're do broken as their core that it's a mental instability. I'm just saying I don't normally get along with that group.
It's similar to how I view people who live off their religion. They're not broken or bad or lesser, they just usually share some patterns of thinking that I happen to not get along with very well.


>There is something wrong with you and its not because you are transgender.
You're right about this, but I don't think you're right in the way you think you are, based off the massive amount of misunderstanding in this post alone.

How old are you?

Just turned 27 the other day.
Why do you ask?

You apply fake labels to everyone and believe you are free.
You merely went deeper into the metaphorical cave people tend to walk out of in order to confirm some mental illness. And it IS mental illness.
Never have I met a third gender with a vacuum for collecting sperm and eggs where their benis or bagoober would be.
Your goal is futile like trying to move a mountain across a valley with your bare hands and is as crazy in attempting to do so.
Go to therapy, you need someone to inform you there are only two genders and hand you prescription medication to solve the chemical imbalance in your brain. You had a large amount of male hormones during your time in the womb and therefore are male.

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You should love how you were born this how people love themselves.
You're just trying yo make people accept your fake genitals.

How bout using the term straight. That works just fucking fine. Cis is a term used as a put down. So stop it.
I am implying they dont take you seriously because you are an attention whore who abuses the Trans movement for special attention.
How do you use this? Because you told us, you told us you are very big on your gender identity that you use for who you are as a person. Which is so simplistic and shallow that it proves you are very weak individual.
You are spoiled because you think being trans means to be taken seriously, which its not, being trans means you are treated equally but to be treated seriously you are gonna have to be more than your gender politics. It means you expect respect for being trans and use that as an excuse to be an asshole.
You abuse the fact you are trans to act like an asshole and thats being spoiled.
You are treated differently because its not being trans but you force that narritive that you are trans to make drama and thats why no one takes you seriously.
Truly a trans person does let politics define them as a person as the whole. The trans people you hang with are also doing it for attention if not worse so. You use the fact of being trans to act and behave like assholes.
A real trans person knows the being trans is apart of them but doesnt define them completly as a person. You do it in the most shallow of ways it makes me think you are faking it.
And i am not talking about the transition and the struggle of findinng out they are trans, i am talking about how you use that struggle to garner attention and act like an asshole.

This partly. I still dont think trans is a mental illness but i think how he abusses the suffering for by being an asshole is.

You just have a mental disorder, you are what you're born with, gender identity is retarded and made to assist your biological roles in society by putting you in certain jobs.
If I woke up as a biological woman tomorrow with my same mind, I'd just bite the bullet and be a girl. Just say you're a dude and act like a girl if you really want to.

>You apply fake labels to everyone and believe you are free.
Free from what, exactly?
Also, just curious, how would you define a 'fake' label? Any label in which both parties can understand to get a message across better serves it's purpose rather well, I believe.

>Never have I met a third gender with a vacuum for collecting sperm and eggs where their benis or bagoober would be.
I'm not saying there is a third gender. I think you're misunderstanding.
The main thing that I realized and that I'm trying to say in the OPs, is that, there is two different versions of the word 'gender' at this point.
There's the biological version. In which case, yes, there's really only two. There are freak genetic accidents that happen, but in the overwhelmingly large majority of people, there's only two.
Then there's also the social version of the word. What I mean by this, is how some men or women feel like if they do something, they will appear less or more of their gender somehow. We have our 'stereotypical gender roles' that a lot of us hold onto and try to aim for. In that sense, I do believe there can be more than two, since this only serves to be a label at this point, and isn't truly defined as anything, as biological gender is.

>Go to therapy, you need someone to inform you there are only two genders
There's some irony in this, because a lot of psychologists and therapists, with the social climate being what it is today, won't actually try to tell you that. Still, refer to my previous paragraph.


>this how people love themselves.
This is a bit ignorant to say. Many people go through all kinds of mental hoops, deep realizations, and internal changes to love themselves. Saying me accepting what I'm born as will straight up cause me to love myself is downright wrong. I'm sorry to be a bit crude. But self acceptance is a journey in which everyone has a different path.

>You're just trying yo make people accept your fake genitals.
I don't exactly have 'fake genitals' to begin with. I still have my dick.
So not exactly sure what you're on about.


>How bout using the term straight. That works just fucking fine. Cis is a term used as a put down. So stop it.
I apologize. I wasn't meaning to use it as a put down, I was only trying to use it as a quick identifier instead of having to say something else like 'non trans' every time I referred to them.


Actually, you know what, screw it. I'm starting to get tired of breaking down everyone says.
I've obviously said some things wrong if the message I'm trying to get across is getting this misunderstood and skewered.
And honestly, being misunderstood this badly when I'm just trying to get a simple point across is just downright painful for me. I thought my message was clear, but apparently I'm so blind that I can't see the fuck ups I've made in it.
I guess you can all just let this 404. I'm sorry.

>be trans
>make a pointless thread just to get (You)s
Trans special snowflakes are notorious for their attention whoring. I will bite though:
>God damn I hate being trans.
Then just stop being trans? Accept the fact that you are a guy, realise that you will never be a biological woman so the whole trans endeavour is pointless. Our society is geared towards degeneracy, so guys can wear make up and frilly dresses and be fine.

>But I'm sure as hell not male either. Sure, I was born with a set of balls, but anyone who knows me would agree I'm far too feminine in a lot of ways to truly be considered 'male', socially speaking.
There's always been guys like you. Again, it's just a special snowflake syndrome. I like gardening and butterflies and easily get emotional. Does it make me less of a man? Does it make me a female? Not really, it just makes a guy who happens to have some feminine character traits. People like you blow everything out of proportion instead of accepting the fact that humans are complex. You operate under the flawed perception that being a man = being a Conan the Barbarian. It's a popculture thing, all women love pink and all men love blue, so when a confused guy like you finds himself liking pink, he immediately jumps to the conclusion that he must be a woman. And other people go with this for one reason or another, usually just because it allows them to make some gains, financial or social.

The fact you said what your prefrences are is the moment i dont feel your pain. Sure everyone has prefrences, but as you being transgender and not finding other trans attractive in the way you discribed tells me you have no right to complain. Especially all the troubles trans go through and how apathetic you were towards the unnattractive ones shows me that since you you suffered you are owed the best the world has to offer. Thats not how this works. Your parents will tell you are perfect, but I am a straight male and from the sounds of it I have gone through worse because i am the "normative" male. I get treated like shit and no one defends me because of the assumption that i have the good life, well that stereotype continues down the line with everyone i meet. My issues arent considered a problem because i am a straight white male, i get shit on by both sides of the isle of the librals who think i am entitled to the right who think i am a pussy. Thats my life. I have my perks but i never use them and i never use sympathy to be taken seriously, i better myself step by step by being a better me, not because i am white, not because i am a man, its because i want the world to see the REAL ME. the real me that isnt defined by insults or skin.