My parents are going through bullshit/ might divorce wtf do I do

This is my 3rd time writing this. I really don't want to tell my life story. My parents have been married for 9 years and have had 3 kids together. I am the eldest, and I am the only one who wasn't his blood offspring. Me and him have always gotten along well and share many hobbies. My mother has been working on her college education and he has been in the military for at least 11 years. A year ago my mother was crying because my step father had depression and apparently contemplated suicide. They spent a few days apart and apparently reconciled, he gave up the bottle and began taking anti depressants. Four months later she is crying because she is tired of being the only one who disciplines the kids, cleans around the house, etc. and he just works, gets home and sits on his phone. She was mad that he never sets up family activities, never contributes to the kids, etc. It could be assumed he is always tired from his job, but he complains how its boring, he gets sent home early (hes on salary) and people there are stupid. Anyways, she apparently felt he hardly contributed at all. I would agree, but I couldn't say anything because I had spent senior year in my room playing video games and lurking here. Just a few hours ago I had stumbled upon my mother crying in her room with a beer. She told me their relationship isn't working out because of both the above, (minus the suicide part, hes only human) and he apparently has attempted to hire escorts, has subscriptions to porn sites and has had a porn addiction she didn't know about until a year into their marriage. She has told him many times this shit bothers her and she feels if shes the one going into debt buying christmas gifts and kids clothes and spends every minute of each day raising his kids then him breaking his porn addiction is only fair. I'm really trying hard to keep this short anons, ask me specific questions but what do you guys think I should do? Also, dad if your lurking here too, please text me.

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Do a huge shit in a plate, put it in the fridge and then demand they clean it up

If only this could solve all my problems. As sad as I am from this you actually made me laugh.

you don't expect anyone to read a wall of text, right?
paragraph that shit nigger.

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Apologies, despite lurking for a year I'm still a newfag

Listen user, my parents are going through a divorce right now. One thing I've taken away is the fact that it's their relationship, and in the end what's best for them both is to be happy. If they divorce then you need to do everything you can to make sure your siblings, your mom, and your dad are getting the help they need. I wish I could tell you that it's easy but it's not, I'm sure you know this though. I really do wish you and your parents the best of luck.

You need more of that.

Your parents are being selfish.
You sadly can’t help them.
Focus on yourself.

Reddit back you go

Thanks user
I'm going to try to have a talk with my step dad.

Even if I can't help them I feel obligated to try. If the family falls apart I would hate the idea that I did nothing to help. I do understand my efforts will probably be futile.

>writes autistic haikus
>uses r*ddit spacing
>calls people r*dditors
what did he mean by this

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>what do I do
Nothing as much as it hurts it's not your part to play the adult in this relationship. It's not your responsibility. Neither it is your relationship to begin with.

The more I think about it, the more I understand this. Your words help. I haven't really ever felt this powerless before.

I'm sorry, I hope the best for you user.

If it helps I'll tell you my story.
My dad was a depressive bipolar person (not officially diagnosed) and wouldn't work at all and. My mom worked full time and did the household all on her own.

She endured having such a husband because she herself grew up without any parents. It's hard and she didn't want us to live the same things.

What she didn't knew is that he'd emotionally and physically abuse us. Take out his anger and frustration on us. Home wasn't ever a safe place where one could relax. Also over time their love died because of resentment and the mood tensed up to unbearable.

This fucked us three sisters up more than any divorce would ever had.

Try to think positive. If it's best for every party involved, its better like this.

>Married for 9 years
>Kids are older than the marriage
Holy shit western civilization hahahaha

Understand this hard fact:


You are a minor player in THEIR drama, and your only role is to stay out of it as much as possible and then to help pick up the pieces when it ends.

Thank you for sharing your story, it really does help.
You see, I forgot to mention that I'm actually from the future..
No lol I was about to edit that part but I thought if I mention I'm not my step fathers actual son (why hes called a step father) then you guys would put 2 and 2. (they were married when I was 9)
Thanks for the advice, its a tough pill to swallow but Its the only choice.

My situation was very different cause my dad was abusive but my mom went through some similar phases
Honestly you should try to get her and him to couplew therapy/ seperate therapy or have them divorce
I know divorce seems hard on you and the kids but my mom tried to stay with my dad for the kids and I ended up with ptsd, depression, and I'm so suicidal that I have to see a therapist every week with pills
Trust me the divorce is a smarter option for the kids than them seeing the mother suffer as they grow up

My stepdad is apparently against the idea of family therapy. My mother feels its up to him to fix his problems or she's going to go, which is understandable and is looking more and more realistic.
I hope things get better for you user. You seem like a very nice person despite being raised in a troubled household. Taking time to help a stranger is a very nice thing to do, and I just want you to know I'm grateful.

>Thank you for sharing your story, it really does help.
you're welcome

Thanks, I'm actually getting better with the help of a lot of supportive friends and therapy, it's been at least 2 weeks since I tried suicide which doesn't sound like a lot but It's a lot for me, in general I feel better than before but of course genetic mental illnesses and ptsd arent goin away but I might be fine
From hearing that I'd honestly recommend your mother just leave
It'll save her and the kids the years of mental scarring and someone like him has almost no hope of changing
I'm sorry it'll probably come down to that but it's better than them staying together and your mother toturing herself
And please encourage your mother to see a therapist above all else
It'll be hard for you to convince her to get the divorce but a therapist has better chances and could even help her with the emotional damage she probably has from all of this
I really hope your situation gets better

I talked to my mom again today and apparently my step father said sorry and he is actually willing to quit his addiction and get help. They both promised each other to put 100% in their relationship, which has me at least hopeful.
I also had her promise me if she feels like the way she did (drinking beers randomly after being sad, crying in front of children) then she shouldn't stay in their relationship "for the kids" and she shouldn't try to sacrifice her own happiness because of the effects that kind of family that can have on my siblings. She apparently already has this into consideration because her therapist has told her about the effects a damaged relationship can have.
I'm really crossing my fingers this is a new beginning for them, and he gets his act together. Talking about it with you anons has helped me in tremendous ways, I always feel a need to play the "enforcer" when it comes shit like this and having you guys tell me both, I can't do much about it, and divorce being a viable alternative to a terrible relationship has taught me a valuable lesson, sometimes taking no action is the best option.
I wish you all the best of luck, you guys all helped me in a tough time and have saved me a lot of mental torment.

Good luck to you user.

Where did you learn my recipe for meatloaf?

Ridicule them. My parents were going to divorce and, at age 10, asked me who I’d rather live with. I told them I didn’t want to live with either of them if they didn’t care about family enough to make it work. 30 years later they’re still married.

So who else listens to Blink-182 on this Mongolian Basket Weaving Appreciation Website?

OP, stop being a faggot.. go find a ton of hobbies and interests that will make you capable of standing on your own two feet in 10 years from now: A career skill, financial skills, cooking skills, mechanical skills.

Or just give up and become a crying wuss for the next 10 years. It sucks, but you need to start learning how the real world works...NOW.

I'm glad things are getting better for you
Good luck with things and as said I send hugs as well

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Checking in on this thread and came to see Jow Forums being pure. This is an amazing sight to see and OP I hope everything works out for you.