So I'll try to keep my background info quick. I went to an specialized trade school for art, comics and illustration right after high school because I thought comics is what I wanted to do. All I've ever wanted to do my whole life was draw, and I knew I either wanted to do animation or comics. When I graduated, however, I realized comic artists are basically freelancers, and since I didn't get that first gig straight from graduating, it had been a downward spiral. I moved back with parents, and couldn't find work for almost 3 years after graduating.
In 2013, I decided to go back to college to earn a degree since I knew freelance life wasn't working. I also started dating my boyfriend who loved what I would do and encouraged my work. He just went back to college too after dropping out twice.
After I finished my first semester of college, I get contacted by an alumnus from my art school about doing Technical/Production work for a slot game company in NYC. There wasn't really any drawing involved, but it was a comfortable job, with fun coworkers and I had health insurance and a 401k.
While working, I was commissioned by a friend of a friend to do storyboard work. I ended up boarding an entire 1st episode of a cartoon that was pitched to Nickelodeon. It never was greenlit, but I've found a new passion for it.
Fast forward January 2017, I get laid off from my job. I tried applying for other jobs, both production art and storyboarding, for either in NYC or California, but had gotten nothing. Mid 2017, my boyfriend is halfway done earning his Masters, and suggests I go back to college. I'm upset because I hated college, and already had work experience.
After some reluctance, I decided to go back to college, not to waste anymore time.
Fast forward to this Summer, and I get offered to fly out to do Production work for a contract gig in Silicon Valley for 6 weeks.
>scared my boyfriend will leave When will women realize in the worst case they can still fall back on a pile of dongs if they're reasonably good-looking? You're doing what I wanted to do for a living. I don't even need to read the rest of this, make your career come first. You'll end up breaking his heart anyway so there's nothing to fear from him.
Landon Cook
Well if you take without all the salt and butthurt the point is pretty much clear. It's your life, you make choices, if this person, your boyfriend, doesn't support you, then it shouldn't be.
Plenty of fish in the see. Nothing's built forever, don't attempt and desperately project your own hopes and ideals onto the relationship or in fact anything else in life, because that's not how life works and you'll be and feel hurt a lot more than you should
Thomas Collins
My boyfriend is happy for me and tells me to take the job, but at the same time, is upset that I'd miss a semester of college for it. He's worried I'll be "wasting time" for 3-4 months when I get back.
I loved the contract job. I had gotten close to my new coworkers and really loved the area l worked in.
I just flew back home Sept 12th, but before I did, I was offered to do a 4 month contract job in NYC for this same company. I felt this was a great idea because I wasn't wasting time for the next 4 months, I'd be gaining experience and I'd be working closer to home this time.
My boyfriend, meanwhile has been looking for jobs. He finally found one he thinks he may get in Los Angeles. He's ambivalent because he's not happy with the amount they would pay him. However, he said he would negotiate, and said if it's an amount he wants, he'll take the job. But he will only take the job if I fly out with him. I told him to apply for the job because I've wanted to find work in LA. Well the big animation studios are there, so I'm hoping moving there would give me more of a chance getting a storyboard job.
However, my boyfriend is worried about our future. He's upset that the only work I can find is contract work, and doesn't want me to continue taking jobs that would fly me all over the country. I only had one job that flew me out, and this next one is close to home, so I dont know why he would be upset.
Basically he wants me to eventually get a full-time job with security. That these contract jobs are good, but that they dont seem stable. I tell him I'm taking these jobs to help find a full-time job.
He then asks if I cant find full-time work in any art fields I want and if I have a backup plan. I tell him this is what I've learned to do for years, so there's no other field I could go into.
He actually now thinks that staying in college is more important than taking these contract jobs.
Cont...
Christopher Bennett
Basically he said he wants the life his parents had; to finally settle down with me, have a house, start a family, etc. His parents worked for 40 years in jobs they hated but did it to raise their family and have a house. I'm not sure if that's the life I want because I havent achieved everything I wanted to yet. Going to this contract job in Cali was the happiest I've been in the longest time.
My boyfriend feels I should continue with college because he things a degree will land me a secure full-time job more than these contract jobs will. He also feels I should pursue a degree and a job that isn't art-related, as he feels it's not a stable field. Something like teaching or nursing, which I absolutely do not want to do.
My boyfriend says I shouldn't give up on my dreams, but that I have to be realistic if we want to have a future together. I'm upset because I don't really have a "backup plan" if I can't find the jobs I want, and I'm worried he will leave me. He's a very loving boyfriend but he's worried about my career choices.
I'm not sure what I can do. I'm scared for my future and for making wrong choices.i dont want to pursue another field, but I also dont want my boyfriend to think I don't have my shit together. This could make or break our relationship.
Matthew Taylor
An artist's life is one of insecurity unless you won the lottery and became the next Jim Davis. His concerns are legit but why the fuck not do it? At least you have a path.
James Torres
If he's that fucking concerned he can work on his own career so it can provide for the both of you. Otherwise his complaints are hypocritical. Do it. It's what I wish I could do if I was talented.
Samuel Johnson
It's not that easy to leave a 5 and a half year relationship. Especially with a guy who's parents just paid for you to go on a Mediterranean cruise with them, because they consider you part of the family already and includes you in family photos.
Jace Bailey
That's the problem though, do I really have a path?? Because from what he's said I dont really have one. Or that I dont know what I want to do with my life.
Nicholas Smith
I should mention that it's not that my boyfriend isn't supportive of what I do. He's just being "realistic" because since my dream jobs haven't happened yet, and since my line of work isn't stable and that I'm already 29, I need to figure out what else I can do so we could have a secure life together. Perhaps he's right, but this is the life I've chosen right now, and I feel these contract jobs can help find a full-time more than a crappy Communications degree could.
Benjamin Jenkins
I got dumped after 6 years after living with her and meeting her parents. Clearly there's no universal rule.
The thing with dreams is that they exist before you even know of a path. They're an itchy little thing in our minds that won't go away even if we want to walk into the ocean and drown. If anything in our squishy fat brains can be considered a concrete want besides survival, it's that dream. I have that unshakeable dream too no matter what my feelings are at present.
Dreams and ambition are dangerous things too. But we have to take that chance or else we will spend the rest of our lives thinking "gee I wonder if I could have made it" regardless of the actual outcome. So take my word for it, it is always worth a shot. If you want to go into greater detail about how you got even this close I would love to hear it.
Asher Butler
I'm 33 and further behind than you are. So go ahead and tell me my dreams are stupid and I should get a job scrubbing floors or something.
Angel Lewis
>me job with security. That these contract jobs are good, but that they dont seem stable. I tell him I'm taking these jobs to help find a full-time job. >He then asks if I cant find full-time work in any art fields I want and if I have a backup plan. I tell him this is what I've learned to do for years, so there's no other field I could go into. As an artsy girl stuck in a stable IT job I tell you you'll resent it, no matter what. Mind you IT was my second interest too.
Also you decide what you'd like to do.
Kayden Flores
>It's not that easy to leave a 5 and a half year relationship. Especially with a guy who's parents just paid for you to go on a Mediterranean cruise with them, because they consider you part of the family already and includes you in family photos. Girl, I'd really reconsider your relationship, if it really is only money and obligations holding you where you are.....
Jonathan Moore
Your bf sounds immature, desu. It sounds like you're both young, and I don't think he has enough life experience to know what he wants or what a good plan is yet, he's just following what people are 'supposed' to do. There's nothing wrong with some contract work when you're young, especially when it has you experiencing life in all kinds of different places. Obviously travel is a strain on any relationship, but it's not like you'll be living anywhere full time.
I'm a big believer in putting your life before your career, and for me my job is just something to fund my life, so what I'm saying isn't at all motivated by some professional ego. But I think in this case, your career is more important. Don't throw it away for a college relationship with someone who wants you to fit into a pre-determined box. It sounds like your career IS a big aspect of your life, and you need to put yourself first and pursue longterm happiness, even if it means saying goodbye to a relationship that's no longer compatible. If you give this up for him, you'll grow to resent him, yourself, your job, and the life you build together.
And it might seem silly and scary to throw away a sure-thing relationship for a maybe-so career. But that's reality when you're young, especially for freelancers. You'll build your experience in drips and drabs, and eventually if you play your cards right you'll start to gain momentum. Don't use him as an excuse to avoid potential failure. Don't hold yourself back to a safe life that you don't want. Ask yourself what kind of life you'd want if he'd follow you anywhere. If the answer is something he wouldn't be okay with in reality, then you guys might have just grown in different directions. It happens to most young people.
Adam Allen
You clearly have a passion that you need to follow through with. The only people who are satisfied with working at jobs they hate for 40 years to support a family are people with no vision and no drive for life. You need to stick with this and never let go. If your boyfriend is not satisfied, you need to tell him straight to his face that it's not something you can compromise on. If you need to part ways, so be it.
Gavin Carter
>It's not that easy to leave a 5 and a half year relationship. How does it stack up against the ease of giving up the entire future of your dream? This is your whole life you're talking about.
Michael Rodriguez
Hey op Im in the same situation but bf side My gf loves animals but is litterally doomed to failure because she doesnt have the drive to achieve her dreamjob (animal caretaker in a zoo) To make it short: A list of things she could do that would increase her chances (never 100% but maybe 75%) she wont do it.
I would never leave her for this but i would keep pushing her till she improves or makes better choices my gist is your boyfriend is the same
I would appease him by getting a job secure education and then apply for these art contracts and jobs on the side
This way you can still work on your dream and you will have eliminate one of his fears, because in the end he just wants what he think is best for you, even if its not your dream it secures your future regardless of the fate of your dream and to him thats the best case. And if your dream prevails after you finish education he will be happy for you as well
Carter Butler
>young
And yet here I'm told since I'm already 29, I should know what I should be doing with my life already. That I should have locked down a career years ago.
Xavier Ross
I would totally do the art contracts on the side. But they're 40-50 hours a week. I was also intending to take 18-19 credits in one semester so I could graduate asap.
Isaiah Ramirez
It's not that he's against my dreams, hes just worried about the fact I have no backup plan if I can't achieve them. I'm currently living with parents, so I would like a earn a job that I can make enough to finally move out of here and live on my own or with him.
Aiden Young
Full disclosure, I assumed you were a little younger when I wrote all that. But 29 is still fairly young, and you're never too old to pursue happiness. Hell, as we speak I'm listening to a podcast with Bill Burr, who I can't count how many times has bragged about sleeping on a futon into his 30s in pursuit of his now prolific comedy career. There's no right way to do life, there's no right life to want. Make sure you can feed yourself, and everything after that is up to you.
Jace Jenkins
>I would appease him by getting a job secure education
That's extremely vague. What is a job secure education?
Julian Collins
Is any job other than civil service or the medical field really secure nowadays?
