Hi. I just moved into a new city with my GF. Money is very tight right now. I love her, but she pressures me to go out and explore, spend money on transportation, meals, and, useless home furnishings, other stuff. Until we get more financially stable, I'd prefer to just keep a low profile and spent as little as possible.
It's getting to the point where shes subtly makes me feel guilty and bad for not entertaining her enough by taking her to a bunch of different places etc.
It hits on my insecurities as well because I am disappointed in myself for not being more financially secure so that we wouldn't have to worry about little expenses. Ultimately it makes me feel like a shitty partner because she deserves a better lifestyle that i cannot provide right now.
Is there anything you could do on the side for a little extra cash?
Matthew Price
His gf could
Colton Richardson
This.
Op, have a talk with her if you haven't, show her your finances. Also make sure she has no access to your money, she'll probably not give a shit even if you explain everything to her like a toddler and will act out.
Sebastian Anderson
Coming from someone who was finanically unstable, you need to ask her why she needs to spend so much money, sometimes there is something else causing her to spend a lot of money. t. just finished paying down half of my debt. I wish you the best of luck but under no circumstances offer to help her pay it down, but tell her she needs to stop using credit.
Jose Sanders
I just got a job but I don't start for another few days, which means the extra money won't come in for at least another couple weeks.
i tried to explain to her that we just need to lay low for a few weeks but IDK if she understands. she looks at me like I'm boring or a jerk or lame for not taking her a bunch of places.
>she'll probably not give a shit even if you explain everything to her like a toddler and will act out
this already happened more or less. I think she understood and I tried not to be a jerk about it but I can tell she's upset
Robert Smith
I'm assuming she doesn't work? What are you doing OP... You sound like a real cuck right now. I'd smack you if I could.
she works. but we are just financially wiped out right now due to all the expenses associated with our move last week.
Cooper Collins
Is this the first time you're living with a woman? How long have you been together?
David Collins
we've been together 5 years but this is our first time living together alone and accounting for all expenses without other roomates
Jayden Bailey
Leave her She's not worth the time
My girlfriend is irresponsible but even then I talk sense into her and we budget when we need to budget. If she can't work against her own flaws, she's not about to start (I'm assuming she's in her 20s).
Mason Gray
I'm sorry dude but you picked the wrong one. She's going to leave your ass for her co-worker who drives a BMW and you'll be stuck to figure out the lease by yourself. You think shit's rough now? Get ready to double your rent AND get cucked.
Second. Better do it now while you can make up some excuses to break the lease since it's early.
Oliver Garcia
>Get ready to double your rent AND get cucked. >Get ready to double your rent AND get cucked. >Get ready to double your rent AND get cucked.
I rlly hope this doesn't happen
Anthony White
There are those who hope, and those who act.
Godspeed user, you beautiful... Miserable fuck.
Carson Murphy
dude your advice is terrible. You want me to assume my GF is going to cheat on me so I should find a way to break the lease ASAP?
>There are those who hope, and those who act.
I already got a job and I'm interviewing for a second one next week too. Perhaps I should have clarified...I need advice on how to make my GF understand how to be more financially responsible. Not advice on how to ruin everything I worked towards for the last few months.
worst case scenario predictions for my relationship aren't useful or helpful at all. your pessimistic bullshit is useless to me.
Ian King
w8, she is asking you to pay for her? Or just asking to go out with her and you each pay for your own selves?
Jaxson Sullivan
Had this talk with my boyfriend about a year ago and we've been doing great financially since.
The best thing to do would be to set goals. For me, it was saving up for a downpayment on a house. This gives you something to look forward to and think about whenever you have to cut back on things in the present. (Even something as simple as "Let's have 1,000 dollars saved by the end of summer")
Then, just explain to her that to accomplish your goals, you have to budget yourself. Decide how many trips you can go on each year. Decide how many times a week you can eat out. How many shopping trips, etc. I don't work(currently in school), so I'm in charge of budgeting groceries and meal prepping each week. It could be kind of romantic and fun if you guys do it together though!
And OP, if she's really that frustrated that you aren't spending your entire paycheck on her, you need to have a discussion about why she's dating you.
Blake Hughes
How much do each of you make?
How much do each of you contribute to CoL?
Who paid for the move?
Who cooks, does chores, etc?
Who pays for dates?
Nolan Jones
thanks for this
Kayden Kelly
The biggest lesson that you and the men of this board need to understand is that the women we attract is not a coincidence. Perfectly well-adjusted, mentally healthy dudes don't end up in relationships with shallow, immature women on accident. It doesn't happen.
The fact of the matter is your attraction to her and your insecurity is what drew you to her in the first place. On the one hand you struggle with the side of you that understands money and is pragmatic about your expenses and you also struggle with other side of you because you want to provide for this girl and take care of her and give her everything she wants regardless of how much of a detriment it is to you.
You feel compelled to provide for her neediness and irresponsible spending because of your savior complex but you also resent her for the hardship it causes you. You're going to have to chose which side of yourself you want to nourish. This is the person she is. You're more than welcome to have a conversation with her about this and tell her everything you told us but at the end of the day your conflict isn't with your girlfriend, its with yourself.
Nathan Sanchez
Public transport does tend to save money though you should consider it
Brandon Phillips
this is good knowledge, thanks
Jackson Rogers
You can't provide what she wants from life, so she does deserve someone better than you. Let her get in a relationship with someone that actually values her needs.
