I would like to meet new women but my hobbies are so isolationist or male dominated. I hate clubs and bars too. Mostly because I don’t drink and going to those places to troll around looking for women sounds skerzerish. I did recently broaden my horizons a little by trying some wood crafting stuff which is fun but again, mostly male dominated.
I pushing 30 years old and my romantic life has been shit ever since I became aware of romance. I do have contact with some women but these women are women I met long ago and have since friend zoned me. I am not their beta orbiter and I consider them my friend but I don’t let them use me.
How does one meet new women who are looking to date? I have been on okcupid for 5 years now. Not a single date. Have had many conversations. No dates.
Tinder. Swipe right on ~50% and make sure you keep your bar LOW.
Eli Barnes
I am not looking for sex at all. I honestly would prefer just meeting a woman. Talking with her. And maybe some light cuddling. Sex is a bit much for my mind and I would have to work my way up.
Logan Harris
to me, the key on tinder or any app is to make a move in a timely fashion. chit chat for a while and then ask her out before the night ends. she will either say yes or no. if the guy doesnt ask me out in some decent timeframe, i usually move on... not to be mean but because I don't want to text back and forth, get invested in potentially meeting and then have it never happen.
Parker Hall
I do try this. However, my issue is ever getting women to respond which seems to be a problem with any dating site. Women are inundated with shitty messages. Nothing can be done.
Elijah King
interesting. you are right about that. i'm scrolling through mine right now and there are several i either never responded to or didnt respond to until many moons later. i feel v bad about that. my only reasoning would be that maybe the initial message was not interesting enough.
maybe try writing something other than "hey!" or "what's up".... maybe ask a specific question related to her bio or pictures. for example, I have a picture on mine where I'm playing tennis, maybe you would ask, "need a tennis partner?" or something dumb like that.
Blake Phillips
I always say something specific. I honestly think reply rate is so low because women have so many dudes messaging them. Not really anyone’s fault I guess. Just the nature of the beast. I use to think it’s because I am a black guy but that would be shifting the blame on something else which isn’t good. I envy people who actually get dates off online dating.
Kevin Mitchell
Dancing lessons.
Liam Gonzalez
im black too. would kill for a black guy buy all of the ones in my area have gold teeth, tattoos, and their first message is "bring that ass ova here..."
Jose Murphy
Learn to knit.
Anthony Reyes
I think you (and me) and a small subsection of early millennials (I'd say 88-93) are kinda fucked when it comes to dating. There are two parts to it:
>I pushing 30 years old
Opportunities were given to you during the period when online dating (certain hobbies and forums, and the internet in general to an extent) was considered the domain of losers and geeks, and when your age wasn't working against you. So it'd be you and a few *genuine* others in those pools,. Now the entire world is online and in ALL of those pools, so now it's you vs the rest of the world on a lop-sided playing field.
>my romantic life has been shit ever since I became aware of romance
Being socially awkward in your teens and early 20s is ok, being 30 and socially retarded is a red flag.
Leo Nelson
I understand it’s a red flag but why is it a red flag. I have had no opportunity. I have tried to make opportunities and failed. I am trying but the dice rolls are against me. I just finally need a woman to meet me halfway. The true question is... why would she want to?
Kayden Lee
>I understand it’s a red flag but why is it a red flag. You know why it's a red flag, you even admit it in the same post.
>I have had no opportunity. I have tried to make opportunities and failed. If you had the internet and passion in your hobbies (no matter how stupid they are/were), you had opportunities. You (probably) didn't take them. Maybe you thought it was beneath you to go full autist on the internet or that you thought those opportunities would never disappear, but those opportunities were there.
>I am trying but the dice rolls are against me At your/my age (and standing) the dice are loaded.
Juan Brown
...and the thread dies cos there's no real advice for us.
I'm in the same situation as you. I've gotten dates on OKCupid after lowering my standards quit a bit. However, the overweight women with smooth faces in their profile pics all turned out to be much more obese and pock marked than in their profiles when I met them in real life on a date. I've pretty much given up on online dating and have accepted the fact that I'm too shallow.
John Scott
There's a new craze of young adult / young professional churches. Have you tried those? I'm agnostic (more on the atheist side than theist side), but I'm so despite to meet people that I'm willing to pretend I'm a christian to meet a non-skeezy women.
Juan Nguyen
those wine and painting classes.
Joshua Smith
have you ever lived in an area that was predominantly black and low income?
Carson Thomas
88-93 is mid millennial. Early millennial would be more like 82-87.
