Ask the Opposite Sex Anything, Basically QTDDTOT

We generally sit across the table and chat for lots of time, i have hugged her a few times. How do i hold her hand or whatever without just holding her hand out of nowhere? I need a step by step guide in getting physical. I'm alright at everything else except this. Thanks for the reply btw.

What level is your relationship at? Or is there one at all? Like are you crushing on her but never asked her out?

Have the same issue. I think once I get to the handholding stage it will get easier.

Okay, good. I'm not a superbabe, I'm probably a 6/10. When do I know that it's not just friendliness and treading into flirting territory? Like, multiple conversations?

What kind of messages/questions would get you to reply on a dating site? Guy here

How you do it totally depends on this The easiest way to start out is to do the movie theatre thing, but in any case there is always going to be some element of "this is the first time we've done this and I didn't expect it" no matter how you do it.

Honestly learning how to get physical is the one thing that PUA shit actually helped me with. Most of that stuff is just repetitive garbage where they repeat the same couple mantras and try to boost up your confidence but progression of physical contact is a really important skill my dad never taught me.

First, you get her in a jokey mood, make her laugh. Wait until she lightly contests something you say or says something that you can make fun of and you gently push her upper arm or shoulder in a teasing way while you do so as thought you were "offended". This is the least intrusive type of physical contact and you can measure her response to see if you can do more.

If she's at the point where she's letting you side hug or even full on hug though you're way past that. She should be fine with taking your hand while you're walking together but a smooth way to do it is to offer her your hand when you're about to transition up or down a curb, walking the streets. City dates are great for this because there's always some kind of pothole or something.

By the way I strongly recommend you stop vesting so much fear into handholding because the first time you kiss her (it's okay to start by "stealing" quick kiss on cheek or forehead to test the waters) will be way more stressful if you can't do handholding

Not the one quoted.
If he gets touchy feely, he either likes you or wants to have sex with you or both. Unless he is gay.

Flirting, taking unusual amounts of interest in you/your life relative to how long you've known each other, inviting you to places, dick pics, sexual innuendo, there are lots of things.

And even then there are naturally flirty people who will do most of the stuff on that list and still have no actual interest in you.

They are probably just being nice but I hate to break this to you Tomoko but if you're a 6/10 most guys would at least fuck you if they thought you were interested too.

If he makes physical contact (besides a professional handshake) he is interested.

I’m trying to work up the nerve to text a girl that’s been chasing me for a few years. I’ve not talked to her in awhile, but she persistently would ask me out every few weeks. I’m to the point where I want to give her another try.

I just keep... pussing out for some reason. I think I’m still a little sensitive from breaking up with my ex; like not that I’m not over her, but I still remember being hurt and don’t want to get hurt again.

I dunno even what I want advice on. Maybe to unfuck my head so I can take this girl out.

We are casual acquintances, we only talk in person a few times a week, but everytime we talk, we talk about personal and deep stuff, we have talked sexually and have flirted lightly. She has cried while talking, for example, so you know the level of intimacy in our chatting, she laughs at everything i say and gives me the typical signals a girl gives. I'm not in the friendzone altough so it might seems.
I haven't asked her out yet.

>Work in hospitality so my hours are really shitty
>Every girl I know either has a boyfriend or is only looking for casual shit
How do I find a girl that wants a more serious relationship in the 25-30 age range?

Legit, how the fuck does dating even work in 2018.
I can tinderize for hook ups sure, but serious relationships?
Do they even exist now?

You should honestly be past hand holding at this point, if she cries in front of you, you can hug her. Be more casual about your contact, touch her as readily as you would a male friend. Don't treat female flesh like it's a live electric wire. Hell, it can be as simple as getting up from the table where you eat and offering her a hand up.

I think your chances are good

Met my serious gf of 3 months through OKCupid but I honestly do not recommend it, I was literally in the process of quitting when I decided to hell with it and sent one last message.

One thing I appreciate about OKC is that they are very transparent and post a lot of interesting stats. For example, it takes a guy an average of 52 messages to get 1 reply from a woman, and that more or less matches my experience.

Why are women shuch shallow whores? I’ve been told I have a great personality, but here I am still single,Meanwhile I’ve seen human trash that has begotten a son before I have

>it takes a guy an average of 52 messages to get 1 reply from a woman
That's really really depressive. Women really are privileged.

Thanks a lot. Yeah, maybe i'm just thinking it too much. I really appreciate you took the time to reply, thanks.

Nobody's touched me yet, but I think I generally act kind of cagey and nervous when people get too close or ask me personal questions, so they probably get the hint that I'm just a fucking weirdo by that point. Does steering conversations away from strictly work-related into something like music count as taking interest?

The thought that men want to fuck me is what causes me to act like a lunatic. I guess I'll just have to find ways to cope with it. I just want to be able to have a normal conversation with somebody of the opposite sex without spazzing out and rudely excusing myself.

Permavirgin, if you couldn't tell.

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They get horny thinking about fucking someone they should not fuck. Assholes basically. You would be a great friend, though, yay!

>into something like music count as taking interest?
Romantic/sexual? No. People just like to make friends with others or create a healthy comfortable environment for everyone. This does not mean anything.

>Does steering conversations away from strictly work-related into something like music count as taking interest?

Maybe, but even taking an interest doesn't have to imply romantic interest. Extroverts do this thing called being friends, and wanting to talk about something other than work is friendly.

Girls
>Would you date a friend of your brother?
Guys
>Would you date the sister of your friend?

Okay, maybe I'll calm down then. I haven't actually made a friend in like a decade, I just kind of assume that everyone hates me and wants me to go away, so it's bewildering when people are just trying to have civil conversation with me. Thanks

why would you ever believe otherwise? Women have always been sought after, not men.

Depends how much of a friend I am with the guy. If he is a good buddy really close to me, I'd never do that because fights can happen and then I probably would lose a great friend. If it's not a close friend, then yes, I'd date his sister.

I had a Tinder date on Thursday that went really well. We spent basically the whole day together, and she made it clear multiple times that she wants to see me again. She's really hot, like I would catch other guys checking her out on our date, she's smart, she's funny, and she's just weird enough to be interesting. But I just feel like I know way more about her than I should at this point. She was raised by a single mother and met her biological dad once, and he disowned her. She's dated a few really shit guys who took advantage of her in different ways. I've only really dated one other girl and she really only wanted to hook up with me so I have to ask, is it normal for a girl to open up so much to a guy so quick? I like to think I'm a decent guy but I'm not sure if she could just pick up on that and trust me or if this is a serious red flag for something.
Depends on the context and the individual. As a rule, just assume they aren't unless you have a good reason to assume they are. If he compliments you on your looks and you're not good friends, he probably likes you. If you catch him smiling at you from across the room, he probably likes you. If you have no real reason to be friends but he asks a lot of friendly questions about you in conversation, he probably likes you.
Yes.
I would think it's because you're not really interested in her, you just miss romance/sex.
You'd be surprised at how many people meet their long-term partners on Tinder.
Yeah, I would date a friend's sister. If I valued the friend though, I would make sure he or she was okay with it first.

I'd date my friend's brother.

Because they are always complaining and saying how guys have it easy or how guys think they have more problems with relationships when girls (according to them) have the same amount of problems.

I want to take serious what women say, but this lack of awareness makes me think I should think of them as unconscious children, and never take seriously their advices or opinions or whatever.

>>>Men: is it vanity that I assume every guy that is friendly towards me or tries to strike up a conversation is interested in me
>>>>>I just kind of assume that everyone hates me and wants me to go away

Nani the fuck am I being baited?

>>Would you date the sister of your friend?
Not unless I was seriously serious about going all the way to marrying her because that's the only acceptable reason to date your friend's sister.

I'd just ignore their opinion on matters like this desu

I know I have a strictly sexual appeal due to my possession of a female reproduction system, and some people will overlook my obvious flaws because of that. The way I see it, if a man is interested in me there are two possible explanations. Either he sees my insecurities and passable looks and has marked me as an easy lay, but still thinks I'm a piece of shit and doesn't really like me. Or I've somehow duped him into thinking I'm an alright person worthy of respect and courtship, but I'm going lose that initial positive evaluation once he finds out that the real me is a weirdo weeaboo with no social skills and a sex pervert too. The second one is almost worst.

TR;DL: I have a mental illness.

>the real me is a weirdo weeaboo with no social skills and a sex pervert too
sounds great to me, how is that a negative?

>Ask for advice with an actual problem I'm having
>Get ignored in favour of people pretending to be girls
life is hard

Not the one quoted. But people can be pretty judgemental, I am sorry to be blunt about it, but yes, they can be. So, if you are a weirdo, there is indeed a tendency that normal people will eventually keep you at a distance once they discover you are weird. They first approach will always be just be friendly and you should not mistake friendliness with flirting.

Also, many guys can, in a romantic and sexual sense, like a girl even if the girl is a weirdo. Many will even say they prefer a weirdo girl because they find her quirk cute and see it as a sign that she will be faithful, since she has no social skills.

Basically, your paranoia has some basis, but you are overreacting. It seems pretty difficult desu.

Quote you, my friend.

...

Your best bet is to date down in age, 21-23 kind of girls.

The funny thing is (and you can look this up if you don't believe me) that when guys notice girls aren't responding or matching or liking or whatever, they tend to get less selective in an attempt to cast a wider net, but so many guys do this that women end up with even more options and ignore or turn down even more guys, and then the pattern keeps repeating. Guys end up making it harder on themselves by trying to make it easier. Online dating ends up so oppressively stacked in favor of women because thirsty guys make it that way.
How do you make friends?

Most people are normal, they're not like us misfits who post on Jow Forums. But even if those particular traits aren't enough to turn them away, there's still my actual mental illness. The fact that I'm jumpy as fuck when it comes to physical contact, my body insecurity, my dependence on alcohol in social situations, my bouts of depression where I become reclusive, my inability to trust and open up emotionally. I'm doomed to celibacy.

I was just asking about the flirting thing because attempting a romantic relationship is currently way out of my depths, but I do want to try and foster some friendly relations with coworkers. Knowing that a guy who acts kindly towards me isn't necessarily scheming to bed me helps give me a little more courage. Once I get friendship down maybe I'll be able to tackle dating.

I'm aware. I know I overreact a bit, but I'm a little oversensitive to rejection, so I take precautions so that I don't have to experience it. I haven't really encountered any of these guys who like weirdos offline, but I can't say I really let on that I'm a weirdo casually. Powerlevels and all of that.

Does penis size matter to girls?

My relationship just ended and one of the major things my ex told me was my penis wasn't big enough. She told me she still loves me but she can't me sexually happy with me because I can't get her off the way she wanted. My dick is about one and a half inches long. I lost some weight and got that half inch but she said it still wasn't enough. We tried different poses and all sorts of stuff. I tried to get good at oral even though I dislike it I still wanted to get her off. The thing is has happened about three times already. Girls say I am a great guy, their parents like me and everyone seems to think I will make another girl happy but it would seem girls just don't like what I can offer them. My last ex came over one night and said she needed me to wear a strap. I put it on with the harness and she said I was horrible at it. She said I had no idea how to thrust and it felt like a dead fish. A week later she left me.

So what do I do in order to make a girl happy and want to be with me?

>How do you make friends?
People I know from high school, or people I've worked with and kept in touch with, or people I work with currently. Working from 5pm to 2am on a Friday/Saturday is a real social life killer.

Develop a cuckoldry fetish?

I am not into that sort of shit. I need an actual solution. Besides she tried putting me in a cage and I was too small for it to work. My dick would just slip out and she would get mad saying she couldn't get any sexual gratification from me.

Another user here. Just curious. You said you were a pervert, but you don't want to be bed? How does that exactly go? What do you want?

>Girl I have known forever has been talking about how we should fuck
>are both single at the first time ever right now
>sooooo want go out on an actual date
>"my life is in a weird place"

Now what

Get better with the strap-on? I don't think most girls are size queens, but one and a half honestly isn't much to work with.
If you can't go out on the weekends online might be your best option.

I don't think it was the strap on thing honestly. I think it was just her last attempt at trying to make it work. Like I am asking does it matter my dick is one and a half inches. I would like to have kids but my doctor said it was highly unlikely I could make them. Do I disclose this to a woman up front? Hey I have a small dick and I maybe sterile.

I might be a virgin, but I'm not dead. I have a fairly high sex drive and I'm an avid masturbator. I'm not sure I want to get into the details of the things I do to get myself off or the kind of porn I take a liking to, but I think it can be categorized as "alternative". There is a large disconect between the things I want in fantasy/the things I do while rubbing one out and the reality of my inability to even hold eye contact with a person for more that a few seconds without spontaneously crying. I'm not sure it's even possible for me to consent to vanilla sex, much less the S&Mish sex I crave.

I am a guy but...
If she said you two "should fuck" you definitely should not have asked her for a date. This shows you want to have a serious relationship. She does not want a serious relationship. As a result she gave you a dramatic emotional response. You messed up.
Give her a few days then send a message along the lines of "damn, i just remembered something you said lol" and put some devil emoji or whatever that shows lewd intentions, but not too forward. Then go on from there. Don't make it a serious relationship. If she says she wants to fuck, ask her to come over or go to her place, no date, no dinner, no teddy bear. Penis in vagina.

God, I'd crush on you so hard.

>My last ex came over one night and said she needed me to wear a strap.
>she tried putting me in a cage and I was too small for it to work. My dick would just slip out and she would get mad saying she couldn't get any sexual gratification from me.
What the fuck. I mean this is my fetish but to hear it actually happens to a normal guy is kind of sad. What cunts.

Are you necro/blood sucking girl?

Girls, is there a protocol for washing shit like bras in a washer? For the first time I'm stuck washing clothes other than my own and I don't want to fuck up this girl's underwear. Can't tell the materials either.
Also, the fuck is a lingerie bag? Google is giving me a million options.

Don’t wash her bras at all. My ex nearly shit when I was gonna. The thing is, they’re totally washable, but every girl has her own preferences. If she’s afraid it’ll be ruined she will freak out like my ex. My mom for instance insists that bras must be washed separately.

Best bet is to leave them in the hamper and say you didn’t want to fuck them up because bras are expensive and you weren’t sure if she wanted them washed separately.

That's... nice of you to say, I guess. That happened with a guy I met on Jow Forums a few years ago. I'm not a healthy person. I'd initially be elated with the positive attention, act like a complete slut online to get more of it, suddenly feel way too emotionally invested, get scared and cut you out of my life forever. Sorry.

Haha, no. I'm not that weird. Guro and snuff are over the line. I don't like the really extreme bdsm torture porn stuff either, like electro or needles. I'm more about the humiliation and degradation aspect. I think I fetishize things that cause me anxiety.

I should probably stop blogging now. Sorry, thread.

They actually do exist i know some, however if you try to hit on them like in public they will try to ignore you lol. Hard to just meet them in public. Sounds pretty hard tho desu

God dammit, why would she ask me to do her laundry if it's not obvious what needs to be done? Are panties in the same boat, or can I just throw them in with like colors and be fine?

Are there really any women out there who will love somebody just for who they are

Also the voice captcha thing is creepy

You should at least put them on a delicate, low spin cycle. If there’s a hand wash setting on your machine do that. But your girl will be more upset with you for damaging her clothes than leaving them out of caution, I think.

>suddenly feel way too emotionally invested, get scared and cut you out of my life forever. Sorry.

Not the guy you were talking to but I had this happen to me irl

Have you actively looked for a girlfriend? Like, have you ever asked a girl out?

I guess I could stay on the safe side. I texted her asking for steps, but it's late so I probably won't hear back from her till I'm already at work.
I'd feel bad for not being able to help her out when she washes my gross clothes all the time, though.

Not that guy but I have the same thing happen to me and I have asked out and dated women many times even had relationships with some but it always ends in "you're a great guy you do everything right and are perfect" but they still move on to the next cock

What do you call the person you're dating exclusively but not in girlfriend /boyfriend relationship?

A friend.

No word for it, because if you're exclusive and not bf/gf it's because one or both of you doesn't want to put a name on it.

Don't feel bad bro. Bras are complicated. You are not inadequate because you're not throwing caution to the wind and wrecking her bras. They really are expensive and women are bitches when their bras get fucked up.

My boo.

>I'm more about the humiliation and degradation aspect. I think I fetishize things that cause me anxiety.
Patrician taste my friend.

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Women:
What is your opinion on short men?
What is your opinion on ugly men?
What is your opinion who are not socially competent?
What is your opinion on men who are all three?
Why do you hate men that were born like this?

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How do I talk dirty? My girlfriend has asked me to talk dirty to her and I have no idea what that entails honestly. Is it just cheesy porn lines?

Depends on what she's into.
If she wasn't specific, yeah she probably has something like typical porn lines in mind.

>My dick is about one and a half inches long.
Goddamnit, I may be a KHHHV with literally friends, but at least my cock is 7" by 6". Goddamn bro, I seriously feel sorry for you

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I don’t hate men who can’t help it. I don’t even know what can I do to make it better? I like to smile if anyone is looking at me. Because most people are frowning, and smile can be contagious

God do I feel sorry for you, may you live your next life as chad

>gf dumped me 2 weeks ago, it didn't work out, she said, didn't talk, text since
>she said she didn't want me in her life
>my birthday was in June, she gave me present and threw me a surprise party
>tomorrow is her birthday

thinking of giving her a gift just to thank her of what she did for me, expect nothing more
(a gift card of 50€)
is this a good idea?

A lingerie bag is a bag for lingerie. You wash delicates in that to minimise friction, so instead of pounding against the machine and getting twisted around, it’s limited to the confines of a soft bag.
When in doubt, read the tags and consult google.

>she said she didn't want me in her life
Leaving her alone will be her birthday gift.

>you're a great guy you do everything right and are perfect
You being a great guy is not the actual reason why they dumped you though.

When women say this it usually mean they find you boring, like they have nothing to blame you for, but if the first positive thing about you they can come up with is that you're " a great guy ", it means you're neither particularly good looking, nor particularly intelligent, nor particularly charismatic, nor talented, like you have nothing much going for you apart from being nice.
It doesn't mean they want a bad guy and left you because you were a good guy.

tl;dr they were not satisfied with you for all sorts of other reasons but since they didn't have anything to blame you for and didn't want to make you feel bad, they clumsily went for the " you're a great guy" break-up line which doesn't really mean what it says (because women generally won't be confrontational and give it to you straight).

It's not really a privilege more a simple reality of the situation where there is a lot of risk for the women and a lot of competition

For a woman to hook up casually with someone online they have to risk that the person they show up with won't rape/abduct/attack/secretly film/has no sti's (women far more likely to receive them), get pregnant, get doxxed, get judged by society extremely negatively if anyone knows you do this etc etc. Not to mention a lot of guys are terrible in bed and only concerned with getting themselves off and once they've cum they want to kick you out into the cold while they go smoke a cigarette. Why spend hours of your time for this?

The reality is if you're a woman the average guy wants to have sex with you just don't have to go online to be overwhelmed with options. Also you need to meet someone in person before you fuck them anyway (generally) so why not just leave the online part out entirely? As a woman if you just go sit at a bar with another female friend and within 30 mins guys will approach you.. and the guys who are out in public with the courage and confidence to approach you the only ones you'd want to fuck anyway! not the ones sat at home firing out hundreds of vain messages trying to find someone

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Why do women lie to their partners about their sexual prowess? I was a virgin until 26, currently 28, first woman I had sex with was my girlfriend at the time, said I was the best sex she ever had, I never even made her cum, she claimed she's never been able to with another person. Second one said she couldn't believe that I had only been with one person, we only had sex twice first time I made her orgasm, if she wasn't faking, second time she made her self cum. If I'm doing something wrong I'm always willing to learn but how am I supposed to get better if they're just telling me I'm great at it?

Maybe making you feel good about yourself and seeing you happy makes them happy?

>women aren't really privileged
>types out a huge fucking paragraph ending with a description of just how privileged they are

Would you rather she was honest and tell you you were shit?

Just ask what they like and try to be perceptive of theur physical responses. Neither of them are necessarily lying, a lot of guys just suck and give no fucks about their partner getting off. It’s posisble to simultaneously be a shit lay but still the best someone’s ever had.

>I don’t hate men who can’t help it.
Yes you do.
>I like to smile if anyone is looking at me.
Unless the guy is ugly, in which case it's "creepy."

There's no such thing as resurrection or other retarded shit like that.

You are interested in someone. You know his/her name. Should you check their fb profiles and see their wall to get an idea of their interests/personality? or its better to not to?