ITT: Ask The Opposite Gender Anything

>girl invites me to her birthday dinner
>I sleep through it
>she wants me to take her out to make up for it
>we date for like two months, I feel like it’s not progressing and stop going out with her
>she keeps wanting to hang out over the course of a couple years
>she invites me to her bday dinner, I figure I’ll give her another shot
>I sleep through it
>she wants me to take her out to make up for it
Um... she likes me right?

Why do you keep falling asleep during what I can only presume is the day or evening?

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a video game together. He said he had go to for a bit but told me he’d be back. I waited a few hours but started to get bored and decided to watch TV. He comes back, asks me to get back on. By this point I’m into my show and so I tell him I don’t really feel like playing anymore but I hope he has fun. He blows up on me accusing me of being manipulative and guilt tripping him. But that honestly wasn’t my intention? I get tone can be lost over text but how could I have handled this differently?

I wake up at 430 every morning for work. So I go to bed around 830 every night. Her thing was in the city at night both times. First time I tried to take a nap so I’d not be tired... and slept through it. Second time... I’d been up all night working on something... and yeah, I just fell asleep.

How is it possible that the fat ugly girls are actually getting married first and had boyfriends all this time?

Unironically, one man’s trash is another’s treasure.

Guys, if a chick asks you to tell her honestly that you don't want to keep talking instead of ghosting her, will you do it?
For the context: no romantic relationship, just friendship with banter and flirting

Probably not. It depends on the circumstances and the girl though. I’d just keep ghosting, or call her paranoid.

>I’d just keep ghosting
Why? Being straightforward and saying you are not interested costs you nothing

So i asked this girl if shes single, cuz she was giving me some signals, she said she has bf, we talked tad bit more and i mentioned shes cute and its shame that she has bf cuz i would ask her out.

I think she wasnt mad at me so all was well and i was happy that i tried.
Monday i go to store yo get icecream by random craving and lo behold shes standing by checkout (whats the chance lmao) with her i assume boyfriend nontheless.
I know for a fact she saw me, but avoided my eyes like fire, and i didnt stare at her. Just smiled because of how unlikely it was to meet her there

Hello other gender, where the hell is the off my chest thread?

And you just moving on costs you nothing. Fact of the matter is you won’t let it end with a “I don’t want to chat with you anymore,” you’ll start asking why, or other pointless, boring questions. Plus the whole exchange would make both sides lose face. Why force some embarrassing, annoying, boring exchange when you already know he’s not interested anymore? Just forget about the guy and move on, it’s what he’s doing to you.

Seriously, there’s a reason he’s not talking to you anymore, and this is probably part of it. You’re boring. Being bored saps energy. So, no, I wouldn’t deal with the bother of answering that kind of question. I’d just keep ghosting.

I can see your point, although I'm not a type of a person to pester someone and ask pointless "why" questions. Whenever I get ghosted, I feel like there is some unfinished business, and I don't like it. And I don't see how ghosting allows anyone to save face either, it's more rude and disrespectful than being honest.

This board becomes increasingly more vile.

Fuck off to /b/.

>I don't see how ghosting allows anyone to save face either, it's more rude and disrespectful than being honest.
Your mistake is seeing ghosting as disrespectful and dishonest. Your mistake is also treating dating or courtship or whatever stage this thing you’re talking about is in as a one-at-a-time deal. You are supposed to be pipelining at this stage, so someone disappearing doesn’t result in an inordinate loss of productivity.

As to face-saving, you don’t understand the concept if you believe a confrontation allows someone to save face when there’s already a tacit understanding.

>I'm not a type of a person to pester someone
He’s not you and doesn’t know you that well. And you’re not telling the truth (perhaps not even to yourself) if you think that query won’t result in a follow-up. No answer is equal to a negative response without a follow-up. You get the same information, with the exact same level of candor.

Why do women expect their guys to be faithful when they have side guys?

What are some kind of women insecurities?

I'd wager it's nothing explicitly malicious or anything. It's moreso that he might be trying to process everything and decide what/who he wants.

That's just my guess though.

all those questions should be addressed to him, not us. Yes, he wants to both have a cake and eat a cake. If you still want him, this seems like a time for an ultimatum.

After all you can ask him the same he asks you - why does he stay with his gf if he has feelings for you?

you just don't know ho to use them properly

Life would be much better if you took the initiative and made shit happen. You can start your own thread, you know?

It's difficult not to see ghosting as such. I've been ghosted before, this case is somewhat special because we were good friends before, and while my intentions with him aren't romantic, but I do miss his friendship and I assumed that he liked me enough not to ghost me. However, I get that people move on from such things.
I am telling the truth, I've done this before with other people. I respect that people have their own reasons for not being interested in a friendship or a relationship with me. My main issue with ghosting is that for a long time after getting ghosted I still hope to hear from the person. A simple courtesy of cutting the friendship or the relationship "officially" saves me a lot anxiety.

If I'm already ghosting her, I must have a reason. I would probably not reply to that request, sorry.

The sheer effort of it though, and I only really want to say one thing, you know?

>The sheer effort of it though, and I only really want to say one thing, you know?

Well, up to you. You can sit on your hands, asking others to make what you want happen, or you can do. Good luck.

I've taken one nut at a time, on my bf's suggestion. idk how rational this is, but I'm too worried about testicular torsion to take both at once.

Welp that’s not a realistic expectation, nor is anxiety a realistic reaction to being ghosted. I would recommend not having such first world problems like that.

I’m not really willing to give an ultimatum because it would be a lie and I don’t think it would work anyways. This is a person I need in my life, even if it is just as a friend and nothing more.

Pretty irrational. He’d feel it, and it’d hurt like hell if you were starting to torsion either nut.

we don't know what did you say. If everything you wrote here is 100% true, then he may have some problems with himself.
However, you might have done something he accuses you of. Even if you didn't intend anything, some of such behaviors are unconscious and very hard to control.
All in all, I advise you to just have a long, good conversation with him and to explain everything in person

Thank you user, he ended up apologizing and so did I and we talked it out.

still, it's something he has to change bout himself. He either accepts that since he has a partner other than you, you are allowed to have other partners too or he decides he wants exclusivity with you. Make him aware of that.

Of course the reason he acts like that is the fear that you might leave him for somebody else. I don't really see a good way out of this situation, but good, sincere conversation could help.

Guys, do you always consider it a date when you spend one-on-one time with a girl?

My boyfriend has been hanging out with another girl lately, going to dinner with her, his roommate mentioned that she was there when he came home once. The other day my friend saw them at the park together holding hands? He says they’re just friends but I feel like it’s inappropriate for them to spend so much alone time together. Is it possible they really are just friends and I’m overreacting?

Why do Women suck so much?
Literally useless creatures

>holding hands
Uh yeah that’s not good. At all. I wouldn’t hold hands with a family member, let alone a friend.

I wouldn't want my significant other spending time alone with another man; talk to yours about this.

Yes, guys can have a female friend and not cheat. We can hang out and it's not a date.

BUT, if they spend so much time together and doing date shit like holding hands, then it's kinda obvious that there's more than a friendship. Sorry user. But, come on, can't you see he is cheating on you?

I guess it’s hard because I’ve always imagined cheating to be some drunken make out session or a one night stand, not this weird holding hands borderline friends deal. As far as I know they’ve never kissed or had sex. I feel a little silly getting that mad over him holding her hand, he could’ve been helping her walk or something.

>he could’ve been helping her walk or something.

Is this bait? Have I fallen for bait?

That's a pretty thick thing to say.

>Guys, do you always consider it a date when you spend one-on-one time with a girl?
No
>holding hands
That's a date

I hang out with female friends one on one all the time and it's not a date, but I don't and wouldn't hold hands with any of them unless it was a date.

to ladies

why are so many of you becoming teachers?

I swear every coworkers college aged daughter or grandaughter is becoming one.

It is possible that they are just friends, yes
having said that, it's also possible they are something more. impossible to tell for sure

I like working with kids and its satisfying in a lot of ways as a profession. I have a lot of entry-level experience in the field, too.

>literally everything important has been invented by men.
I mean, let's not downplay the impo6of motherhood, but men are pretty fucking useful.

You do that with a small child or an old woman. An adult man doesn’t hold an adult woman’s hand to help her walk. He holds her hand because he has romantic feelings for her.

It’s not cheating in the sense of having sex with her, but that’s not really the core wrong of cheating. The core wrong of cheating is the emotional betrayal.

Though to get technical the underlying wrongfulness of cheating has to do with the possibility of the man fathering children elsewhere and abandoning his current woman; or the woman bearing another man’s child for her current man to support.

But in modern times *appearances* also matter. The guy is disrespecting you by giving the appearance of being with someone else. That’s why your friend told you he was holding someone else’s hand in the park. If it were innocuous and normal, why would your friend even notice or care? Your reputation has suffered because of what he’s doing. You’re right to feel betrayed.

>Open question, M or F

I've drifted away from pretty much all of my close friends over the last year. They make zero effort to contact or hang out with me and that honestly has hurt my self esteem so much I just decided to embrace being a loner and basically build a huge emotional wall around myself.

That's worked out about as well as I had though it would and I think another decade of this lifestyle and I'll kill myself.

I want to make new friends but since spending so much time by myself, my social anxiety has increased like X2000 times and honestly I find it hard to relate to and talk to anyone these days. My social skills were bad to start with; now they're broken.

I just don't know how to be with people anymore; or how to be a fun person to be around. I have become exceedingly efficient at driving people away from me.

Suggestions? My whole life right now feels like I'm trying to crawl out of a pit; making it up a few meters then sliding back down into the depths.

Attached: sadfeels.gif (700x525, 801K)

As an adult, I have literally never held the hand of a woman that I wasn’t dating. Never ever. Hugs are kinda normal but handholding is romantic. I would never ever take the hand of a female friend that I had no interest in simply because I wouldn’t want to give her the wrong idea.

Moreover men, even touchy-feely men, don’t freely hold hands like that. They might link arms, maybe (though even that’s got romantic undertones), but holding hands is right out. Period.

only serious therapy

that's your experience and your opinion. I have different experiences.

>I've drifted away from pretty much all of my close friends over the last year. They make zero effort to contact or hang out with me...
Guess what? That’s because you made zero effort to contact or hang out with them. Friendship is a two-way street. If they think of you they probably figure you’re busy and have other friends. Consequently they don’t think of you so often when they’re wondering who to chat with or who to invite out for drinks. You need to engage in some routine maintenance of your friendships. If you don’t make that effort, they’ll rust on their own.

So stop blaming them. You’ll just do the same thing if by some miracle you make new friends.

Your experience is wrong then. Or you’re lying. I can’t tell. Men do not hold random women’s hands for no reason.

Put yourself in situations where you're forced to interact with others. College, local events, a job, etc. It'll come naturally back to you eventually.

christ, you're so closed inside your own world.
no, experience can't be wrong. Experience is a fact. I know for a fact that what I said is true. I admit it is not very common, but it's possible nonetheless.

Bruh unless you live in Africa or something handholding is never platonic. You know how you know? You fucking hold your mates' hands while you make a beer run.

Not them, but I hold hands with guy friends all the time in big crowds or walking down sketchy streets at night.

a)that's a different kind of thing.
b)it wasn't necessarily platonic for him just because for you it was.

now we have different kinds of things. Five minutes ago it was just Period.

Fair enough. They're in relationships already, though, so I assume it's platonic. I ask them to do it so maybe they're just putting up with it either way.

What I meant by different kind of thing is that we clearly weren't talking about extreme situations like that.
>kissing is platonic because one time I kissed my guy friend to convince a dude I had a boyfriend.
See what I mean? Weird cases like that aren't really worth considering in this discussion.

you are making up rules now. Furthermore, I do mean that two platonic friends might hold hands without a good external reason nor a desire to push things further. This is my experience.

Girls, I would like to apologize on behalf of all males on Jow Forums who have insulted you or hurt you in any way. I'm a guy myself, but women should be treated with respect no matter what. Please, will you lovely ladies forgive us?

I do not believe you. Your friend wanted to push things further, I guarantee it.

No one takes anybody's negative comments seriously on Jow Forums, for better or for worse.

>larping as a whiteknight on Jow Forums to get (you)s from angry incels
Somehow even more pathetic than actually being a whiteknight.

What does Jow Forums think of this situation?:

>gf ended 5 year relationship with her ex earlier in the year
>Said he didn't seem to care about being a couple or want to truly commit to her
>We're going well together and she claims she has no feelings for him at all
>However, she openly talks to him on Twitter and it always sounds very familiar
>Kind of sounds like they're still a couple when they talk (sometimes she uses heart emojis too)
>When she was telling me about the break up not too long ago, she cried and assured me that despite the fact that they talk together still, that I have nothing to fear or be jealous about
>Not necessarily jealous, but more confused why she acts the way she does with him, despite the fact that he broke her heart and fucked her around so much towards the end of their relationship and won't cut contact with him like MOST people do with exes

Is it just me or does it seem that she still has feelings for this guy? Am I right to feel pissed off?

I wouldn't waste my time with a girl who still talks with her ex. That's just asking for trouble.

Why exactly? Not trying to argue or anything, I'm just very new to dating and relationships.

I just think it should be obvious to anyone that it brings too much uncertainty and doubt into the relationship, and that a girl who can't recognize that will prove herself to be inconsiderate in other ways down the line.

>everytime i flirt i get this feeling that being emtional is bad
>kinda laugh it all off the things heat up
>cant let myself be intimate with a girl
For example everytime I get physically close to a girl, or she holds my hand etc I just kinda pull away
Another example lets say Im talking to a girl and I give her a sexual compliment she gives me the eyes and asks if Im serious, usually I just throw a joke or act cynical

How do I fix myself, practice never worked, I talked to hundreds of girls

I'm not that user, but 5 years is a long time to just kick someone off your life and move on. It would be hard even if she tried, but she is not trying. So it doesn't look good.

could go both ways. it is definitely possible, though not certain, that she may come back to him at some point. it is entirely your own business how you feel about it and if it causes you discomfort, either let it go or ask her to change it or end the relationship.

Work on the root cause of your unease. Why is sexuality an issue for you?

If I knew I wouldnt be asking

For me this issue was caused by low self esteem. I don't deserve this girl or I don't even know how I could even satisfy her if we went all the way. Shit like that gnawed at me for years.

Sounds like an abuse thing to me, but you'd know if that was a possible case.

How can we know that? We can't read your mind of look into your past with our magic. Unless you explain, we are even more lost than you.

Femanons. Do nerdy girls somewhat avoid fit dudes? Do they assume he's a jock and that they wont have anything in common?

I know it's kind of a broad question, but I'd like to hear some individual opinions.

>However, she openly talks to him on Twitter and it always sounds very familiar
Ehh. This could run the gamut from her being obsessed with him still to them genuinely being platonic friends. I've seen both behaviors.
>Kind of sounds like they're still a couple when they talk (sometimes she uses heart emojis too)
That's annoying. I'd honestly tell her that I don't feel comfortable with that. Clarify that you do trust her, but in spite of that you're not comfortable with her level of familiarity with other men. That it's both a matter of not conveying the wrong idea to him, and a general matter of appearances.

>I don't deserve this girl
Makes sense, I do feel this at times. What can I do? Im not handsome or tall, I cant feel safely attractive even though I lift.
I wasnt abused for sure
Was bullied at middle school though
Just looking for general directions and ideas.

>no, experience can't be wrong. Experience is a fact. I know for a fact that what I said is true.
In fact, you're not relating experience, you're relating your personal observation about a past event. You look back on it now and say that your intentions were wholly platonic. How about the other party? How about the appearance to third parties? And had the other party tried to be romantic, what would your reaction have been? Would you have flatly rejected any further advances? I honestly doubt it.
That's 100% romantic behavior for the guy.

What makes a girl nerdy to you?
I avoid guys equally, regardless of how fit they are.

>I do not believe you. Your friend wanted to push things further, I guarantee it.
This, absolutely.

>That's 100% romantic behavior for the guy.
Like I said, they have girlfriends. Would you assume they still think of it as a romantic thing?

Errr. Girls that wouldn't be use to being around fit guys because they have somewhat introverted interests?

Maybe I should have worded it as "Do introverted-ish girls avoid guys that give off (non-toxic) extroverted signals? One possible signal being that they are in good shape."

Part of the reason I'm asking is that I'm a nerdy individual who has started working out somewhat and I know that I avoid attention from girls that seem really extroverted even if they are like 8-9/10. Not that I get that much attention but it has happened.

why do women hate short men?

Nah they just don't want to spend time around someone who isn't fun or confident. 5'5 male dating a 5'8 female.

nigga 5'5" is the cut off point

>I avoid guys equally, regardless of how fit they are.
I hate to be such an asshole, but I think it's safe to assume he wanted input from straight girls.

women don't hate you. they just prefer not to look down at you like a child. and actually some women have a thing for that so find one of them. Personally I don't want too short or tall, it hurts my neck, I need close to my height.

Why do women get upset about their boyfriends not wanting to kiss after blow jobs? Like I wouldn't feel bad at all if my gf didn't want to kiss after I ate her out. What's unreasonable about not wanting your own cum in your mouth.