Help me get out of the friendzone. I try to go out and meet new girls as much as possible...

Help me get out of the friendzone. I try to go out and meet new girls as much as possible. I also started using a dating website.

I have had only a single, unfortunate long-term relationship. Now it's over, and it seems I am back to square one. Just like before, a lot of girls think I am funny, smart caring, very interesting. They laugh with me, they shower me with compliments. However, I am just not "their type", in the end. They see me as a good new friend.

At present, after a few real-life coffee dates that went nowhere, I am in contact with three girls from the dating website.

- A chubby foreigner (I think she might be more than chubby, though), which sounds easy-going and clever. She has a bright smile and a cute face. She enthusiastically said "yes" when I suggested to go have a coffee together sometimes. I still haven't confirmed our "date", though. I think I'll meet her, anyway.

- A very pretty foreigner obsessed with the idea of finding the perfect man to marry. She asked me a lot of questions and had me take a personality test online. It looks like I am good enough, so she is ok with having a coffee with me in a week or so.

- A very smart and pretty girl, who however lives far away (6 hours by train), did not attend the college and is struggling with part-time jobs. Our interactions are the most endearing, funny and even romantic I have ever had with any girl. We are literally flirting online all day; however, she said she's not interested in a relationship right now, because she broke up with her boyfriend 6 months ago and she's not over it yet. She also thinks we might not be each other's type. Whenever she says something "romantic" (or even sexy, at times) she calls it a joke and even deletes his previous messages. However, I don't want to let her go and move on: she's too much fun.

Do you have any advice for me?

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Go out w girl 1
Get with girl 2 but stay careful of marriage and go slow. (Not to be judgemental, just realistic. Are you in the EU/US? From what country is she from? Do you have any doubts that she could be a golddigger?)
Have fun with girl 3 but dont get attached. Let her decide her future and meanwhile you keep your hesd out of the water and see other women, but by all means, have fun with her, be friends or more, etc

Girl 2 might be a golddigger; however, she is studying in my country now. I am more concerned about her having personality disorders, though. I mean, asking right away my opinions on marriage? Seriously?

Girl 3 has just asked me to let her hear my voice over an audio message. That's just weird. It's like being back with my gf, and even better. And she's enjoying it too, I know. However, she doesn't want a relationship. I was even ready to travel to her city to have a coffee with her. She said thanks, maybe, but not now. I really don't get girls.

On Girl 3: has anyone had any experience with a girl like that? A girl who blatantly flirts with you all day (online), greets you when you get up and wishes you a good night at evening, says that we must have met in a previous life... And yet says that "we might not be each other's type", so she wants to stay friends. I've never had such romantic interactions with a female friend. What's happening, here?

It sounds like shes getting out of a bad breakup and tryna be careful but honestly being careful doesnt work like it shouldi lmao. People are flirty and considerate like that, but maybe shes lacking on friends? Texting all day and shit)

If you want girl 3 you need to be willing to play the long game
Let her know you're interested but have other offers on the table. Make her feel like you're just dating them because you can't date her, but the clock is ticking on her

It might be that she just feels lonely. It sounds like she's having it though, with her job and her relatives.

That's not really easy... I think she'd just say whatever, date them. And not because she doesn't care about me, but because she's very proud and independent.

She's clearly trying to get a little closer to me day after day (today with that "voice message " thing), but when she gets really flirty she backs off and says that I shouldn't get the wrong idea. I play along and tease her, when this happens.

Anyway, tomorrow I'll have coffe with girl one. Maybe she's the blandest of the 3 in terms of personality; however, she sounds like a nice and easy-going girl. She really has a cute face, even though I need to be prepared: she's going to be much more chubby than I think (she did not post any picture where you can see her full figure; just her face). This is not necessarily a bad thing, anyway.

So... how do you "play the long game" while staying out of the friendzone?

You have to keep it flirty but be willing to walk away.
Sure she'd say that, but she then knows two things
1. Other women desire you, meaning you're worth dating
2. You're willing to walk away and not orbit her like a beta
Very powerful cards to have

You have got to get out of the mindset of chasing
Once you stop chasing girls, it becomes so much easier to keep their attention

Ok, thanks. Meanwhile, the third girl did a joke about "faking", with clear sexual implications. And we went on joking on that; she concluded that she never needs to fake anything. I commented that I like that.

After a few minutes, she edited her first message and changed it a little, to reduce the sexual innuendo.

What's she trying to do...?

She's dipping her toe in the waters
She's just trying to protect herself, keep those walls up
It's up to you to reassure her and above app make her comfortable with you, that is key

To make her really comfortable with me I'd need to see her in real life. However, we live far away and she declined (for now) the idea of having coffee together.

With mere text messages... I don't know, it just doesn't work, for me. Anyway, I'll keep flirting.

>Help me get out of the friendzone.
You simply don't.
That's why it's called the friendzone and not the friendphase.
Also the friendzone is 2012's meme now being resurrected by pathetic incel NEETs that should not spent so much time only. An hero yourself or grow up.

You know what I mean, come on. And as you can read, I am talking to girls and meeting with them. I just need advice, and I actually received some. I'd like to hear more, and that's all. Noone is talking about incels, neets, or trying to commiserate oneself.

You didn't write anything about what you want, just that you want to "get out of the friendzone", which honestly is a stupid thing to write.

If you're just looking to get laid and aren't interested or willing to be in a relationship, you should make that clear before you fuck. Yes, this can dramatically reduce your opportunities to fuck (and it sounds like you don't have a lot of those to begin with) but if you are at all a decent human being, it will also reduce the chances of hurting other people and of you thinking that you're a piece of shit for using other people for sex.

I like people based on personality primarily, and I know I don't have a problem with wanting to fuck a fat girl. If girl 1 turns out to be fat, you're going to have to figure out if your dick is still attracted enough to fuck her. You might not want to think that you're shallow or whatever, but if it matters to you, you should be realistic about it.

Even if you like her a lot and know you want to fuck her, if you at all think things like "what if my friends saw me with her, I'd be embarrassed" then absolutely don't fuck or date her. Again, you might not like thinking of yourself as being shallow, but you should be realistic about who you are.

Girl 2 I would be wary of. The logical goal and result of dating for a lot of people is marriage and family, and she may just be trying to be logical in finding a good partner. She may also be kind of nuts and unconcerned about anything other than meeting a particular set of goals that she has for herself.

Girl 3 is a stranger. Do not ever forget this. You do not know her and you really know nothing about her or what she's like.

You are a controlled, "safe" outlet for her. You haven't even talked directly, everything is going through text. Don't think that her flirting or sexual behavior means anything. It's entertainment for her that serves to keep you interested.

continued

Maybe at some point she will actually be interested in a relationship or in having sex with you, but that's clearly not what she wants now, or she would be interested in meeting.

If you're unable to remember that you don't know if you actually like her, stop messing with girl 3. I use online dating because I want to meet someone to have a relationship with. Anyone who is not willing to meet fairly quickly so that we can get to know each other is just wasting time. It's impossible to get a good sense of what it's like to be with someone just by texting.

Thanks.

I agree, online dating without meeting in person is a waste of time. Tomorrow I will meet with the "fat" girl.

I know Girl 3 is a stranger, as of now. However, she's not just flirting: she seems to be genuinely curious about me. She even worries about my health, sometimes, which is weird; we have never met each other, after all. It feels like she is afraid of relationships because of previous bad experiences (she actually said that). Her behavior is contradictory. I'd like very much to know her, though, and I'll try to find a right moment to ask her out again.

However, I'd like to hear if you ever had a similar experience. A girl who flat out says that she is seeking nothing else than friendship, and that starts flirting and getting closer afterwards, in a girlfriend-like way (sometimes it feels like I am messaging with a gf, seriously; I'd never chat like that with any of my female friends). What happened, in your case?

Again, you are a safe outlet for her. By that I mean that she can have a pretend relationship where she "cares" about you, flirts and acts sexual, shares some intimacies with you, but can put this relationship aside when she wishes to and ultimately has no responsibility or obligation to you.

She's probably genuinely entertained by your conversation, and maybe the two of you would actually like each other a lot if you ever met. But also again: you are strangers, and it is impossible to know what someone is actually like to be around until you spend time with them.

My experience is that people who uses sexual behavior with someone who is "just a friend" are manipulative. They're doing it to try to keep your interest, not because they're serious about you or actually have romantic feelings.

I'm willing to be "just friends" with someone that I like talking to, but I try to stop the flirtatious behavior. If I like someone as a friend, I don't need flirting to stay interested in the friendship, and I don't want it because it's a distraction to only being friends.

You clearly very much want girl 3 to have romantic feelings for you, and you want very much for her to decide she's ready for a relationship with you. This isn't good for you.

I think it's good for you to go on dates with other girls, if for no other reason than to get experience in dating people -- in the sense of learning how to get to know people and how to evaluate them for your romantic interest in them. I think girl 3 could be a distraction that prevents you from actually trying to be in a romantic relationship with someone else.

It's possible that girl 3 could change her mind about you and decide she wants to try a romantic relationship with you. I don't have a crystal ball, I'm not a mind reader, and my own experience with girls who are not girl 3 has no bearing at all with what will happen between you and girl 3.

What I think is likely to happen though, is nothing at all.

Meanwhile, girl 1 sent me a new picture, and it looks like her other photos were just photoshopped or taken from very flattering angles. I'll have coffee with her anyway and try to talk with her without any prejudice. However, this irritates me a little bit. It's kind of dishonest. It's quite common, I know: but I don't respect people who lie. This is manipulation, too.

Girl 2 is a psycho stay away from her.

>the friendzone is 2012's meme
when has the friendzone ever been a meme?

Explain.

It's not like she's trying to dodge meeting you, and it's not like you're not going to see what she looks like when you meet her. I wouldn't look at this as her trying to be deceptive. I would think of this as her being interested enough in you that she very much wants to be attractive to you.

I'm not into obesity (there's a lot of health problems related to obesity, and it says a lot about someone's ability to control their behavior), but I know my dick is happy to be in a fat girl if I like her a lot.

If you don't even want to meet someone who's fat, and you know you're going to sit there wanting to leave or that you're going to be an asshole about it, you could always let her know in advance and ask for a body shot.

Yeah well, 2012 apparently saw a lot of mainstream attention to the idea of the friend zone (probably because of the attention placed on bitter "nice guys" bitching about it), but the term's been around since at least the late 1980's, well before that Friend's episode that supposedly coined it or made it popular.

You should look up the definition of the word "meme". It's not simply "funny picture that people share on the internet".