My girl tongued her male friend at concert

tell her you forgive her, guilt her into letting u do anal, then dump her

>doesn't want a relationship
That's horseshit, if you guys are exclusively amorous with one another it's a relationship, it's just her covering her ass for when she cheats on you, "it wasn't cheating, we weren't in a relationship!"
Tell her to hit the road, and come on, don't fall for a trick as retarded as "wants exclusivity but doesn't want an official relationship"

I wouldn't consider it a pump and dump scenario. We've been seeing each other for a year now and there is a genuine connection.

I'm asking this question because I just want to have other perspectives and opinions about this before I decide. My options are definitely not limited, and I am not hopeless about the future. I just don't want to make a decision I am going to end up regretting

>gets drunk and high, also does ecstasy for the first time
>ends up making out with her male friend from high school
She had sex with him. Sorry to break it to you.

Since you are fearful that you might regret the decision you are therefore limited and hopeless. At this state in you life you should be able to adopt numerous perspective son the issue and come with conclusion. All you're doing is looking for someone or something to reinforce that little voice in your head. The answer is clear.

Yea I knew it was horseshit the moment she said it. Although she has tried to explain it in the past. i.e. I convinced myself that those reasons were god enough but after this shit I'm just not having it anymore
kek

Isn't that another ref flag? You just out two and two together in that post and yet you don't know that this chick is lying to your face? You're letting her, which is even worse

I have been with more than a few girls who were just fuck-friends but they were clear from the get-go that it's what they wanted. They'd call me out when their roommates or parents were out or alseep or whatever and I'd go over there and bang them and they were just like "hey good job smashing my pussy tonight" and maybe sometimes ask or let me sleep over but a lot of times I would just sneak out in the middle of the night. This would go on for months and even years

I was fine with it because I knew what it was and we were in agreement and a mutual understanding.

That's not the case with you and this girl

So much terrible advice in this thread, Jesus Christ no wonder you cucks are always here complaining about girls.

She cheated on you, end of story. Dump her.

If you don't then she won't have any respect for you and the relationship will deteriorate and you'll be back here in 3 months crying because she fucked this guy and dumped you. Dump her and move on.

Your girl's not marriage material my dude. There's literally no point in sticking around with her. You described a lot of things that would be red flags to me. If you want to have fun, sure, keep her around. But know that you're playing with fire. If you fall in love with this chick, she is apt to chew you alive and spit you out.

>wants exclusivity but also wants to pretend she's not actually in a relationship
>does drugs
>incontinent

You're too old for her. Every girl goes through the early adult slut phase before they settle down. Find a nice girl your age that doesn't seem too slutty.

>She cheated on yo
This is worth repeating. She didn't just make out with that guy. She had sex with him 100%. She's just trying to minimise it.

I think you might be over reacting there, m8. Limited and hopeless are pretty extreme adjectives that I simply don't believe apply here. I just don't want to lose a good friendship due to a possible over reaction on my part.
Definitely is a red flag. And many ppl I have talked to IRL have said the same thing, After the advice Iv'e gotten on here and from friends, I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to do now

eh, I doubt it, I picked her up right after the concert. They didn't have time or a place

You're not doing yourself any favors by being with this girl. How could you fall for such transparent bullshit?

Doesn't matter if she did fuck him or not, she kissed him and that's chetaing.

Would you consider that a bad thing and a bad idea to be involved in a relationship like this?

They're simply words - no use in fighting over them but just keep in mind that I, and many others here, might see you as hopeless, desperate and/or pathetic.

Yea but she called me the day after and confessed/apologized. Most cheating sluts would have just kept their mouth shut about it.

Yea I'm not too worried about what the good ol' people of Jow Forums might think me

Oh look,how cute, trying to rationalize what is already done. Pathetic.

Why are you still even here then? The census is clear.

Break it off you fucking cuck

>be involved in a relationship like this

yeah but again, it's not really a relationship is it? You want something (a relationship) that she's not willing or able to provide.

If you really like her, and she obviously does like you to some degree, and you forgive her and all that then you gotta still air that dirty laundry and straight up ask her "what are we" or "what am I to you" or whatever cause after all that if she's still not willing to able to call the two of you a couple then I would bail.

Sometimes people forgive each other and they're able to mend their relationship. I guess that concept is absolutely alien to 19 year relationship experts.

and no, kissing someone while tripping balls on molly is not as bad as being stone cold sober and fucking someone else.

You can't help a fool in love. Hell, maybe she'll stop cheating on him (or maybe he won't find out again).

I'm going to call her and say it's either official relationship & exclusivity or nothing at all. There's plenty of other girls that want my D and I'm not going to waste my 20s being with a girl who doesn't want a title. If she wants to be just fuck buddies then so be it. The more the merrier

>There's plenty of other girls that want my D and I'm not going to waste my 20s being with a girl who doesn't want a title. If she wants to be just fuck buddies then so be it.
You should have done this 1 year ago.
Just be cool about it when you talk to her if you want to keep the fuckbuddy option open.

>not breaking up with her after she tongue kissed some guy
cuck

I was. She didn't make it clear that she wanted exclusivity until a little over a month ago. When she got mad at me after seeing this chick's Snapchat username on my phone. (the SC girl wants to be a delivery nurse and her username is "FutureBabyCatcher) she got pretty pissed lel.
>break up
I'm not with her. Plus I've done worse with other chicks

What's the problem then? You obviously care if you made the thread. I suggest not getting romantic with her

You're pathetic and a cuck. Man up and dump that bitch. Things are going to get worse.

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HAHAHHAA, wow, you really are a pathetic cuck. Setting ultimatums on someone who has already cheated.

She can see you every week but she's 'too busy' for people to know she's in a relationship? Too busy fucking her actual Chad boyfriend the other 6 days of the week or she's afraid her beta bux boyfriend will cut off her income if he finds out she's cheating.

she was on ecstasy. tell her never to do it again unless she's with you. (might happen again, x is crazy)

This.
Drugs are never valid if it were a lot more people would get off clean and scott free, she's an addict. And those type of women are never good to be romantically linked with, in movies and books they may romanticize her as the manic-pixie-dream-girl but the reality of it all is she have a few repressed psychological hang ups and at her age probably is already futureless and directionless. You're 24, you should probably look for someone to settle down with and not date someone like her. Granted, if you like them young, there a younger chicks who are far more bright and have prosperity.

>24m
>19f

cuck ass fuking pedo

Not that guy, but no. I've done lots of drugs and from experience I can tell you that they are no excuse. Hell, even the fact that she can't avoid getting fucked up without "losing" (lol) her judgment just shows that she lacks self-control. No matter how you look at it, drugs are no excuse.

>pedo
You might want to look up the definition of pedophilia, m7

I must admit, I obviously expected to be called "cuck", "beta", "pathetic" since it is Jow Forums. But the name calling isn't totally uncalled for. I am definitely what girls would consider a "nice guy", I know that doesn't usually work out but it's how my mom raised me. So sue me.
But it's clear this girl saw that in me and probably noticed she can take advantage of that.
Hell, the fact that she even told me probably shows that she thinks of me as some sensitive push-over that wouldn't get mad and stick around with her even after learning she did that, Fuck it

Easy solutions here OP. The first is you can just break up with her and be the hero. No one will say you didn't have a good reason to break up. You get to be single and sleep with other chicks, she has to carry that on her psychological permanent record, no problem.

The second, is that the relationship as you knew it is still over, but now I would get a read on her. If she's really truly apologetic, we're talking tears, sadness, "I want to be with you! omg I fucked up so bad I'm so sorry!" I would forgive her under the condition that now she and I are going to start sleeping with other chicks. She has lost her status as an equal, but can still prove she has value to me.

If she seems like she is one of those prideful chicks. The kind that cheats on you, says "woopsie! sorry!" but then gets indignant if you don't forgive them and maybe even take a little blame (the mind of a woman is something magical). In her case, she's "forgiven" but now I'm going to spend the majority of my time using her for reliable sex while I go after other girls and when I'm bored I'll probably psychologically torment her. Eventually she'll get the hint and break up with me or she'll break.

No

Just talk to her and tell her that it's pretty clear she's not ready for an actual relationship. The first red flag was the whole "let's not say we're together" thing. It could've been anything really, girls do stupid shit like that for various reasons but still a thing to be very wary about. You can continue to be in an open relationship with her, but nothing exclusive so far. It will take the weight off you both and will probably have her chasing you even more for not falling into her little girl emotional rollercoaster

She's not prideful at all. She suffers from anxiety, low self esteem due to her growing up overweight and pretty severe depression. As far as being apologetic, she definitely was when she called. She was in tears, calling herself a hypocrite, calling herself dumb and saying she doesn't deserve me. I've met and dealt with a good number of cunts. She for sure isn't one of them.
Solid advice. That's most likely the course of action I'm going to take

>sexually mature female
>>>pedo

Kill yourself

>a year
>genuine connection
I'm not here to trivialize neither undermine your intelligence, yet, a year is not that long of a stretch to consider a relationship "solid". As for genuine connections, you need to go beyond that, it's more than recreationally getting high together and going to concerts or having the same favourite colour. It's so much more.
>have you two over came a difficult task?
No, I'm not talking about your high school tier drama above "I got zonked out on drugs and french kiss Shinji, Misato style, user, please forgive me!" Not that. Are you two living together and couldn't make rent on time? Did she push everything unto you to deal with or did you two come up with a support system to equally take the burden and pitch in to prevent it from happening again? Or, have you two discuss finding a place together and talk about the fianciall income, how much money you'll need to set aside for food and meals, etc cetera.
>goals
She's at least working, right? Does she plan to work her way up to manager position or stay in that same shitty position? If she's not working, is she even trying to look for a job or continue to stay unemployed doing fuck all while relying on you for income?

Come on, user. You're 24 and shouldn't take a chance on a reckless 19 year old who still haven't grown up nor can control her implusives. Especially, if you see a future with her. You have to start questioning yourself on the bigger image here. And from the way she treats you, you'll get your heart broken before you break hers.

Dude, I had a similar experience. Pure shit is coming. Better get out my friend. She's only using you.

If she tried it without any pressure, she'll for sure do it again. OP is fuck if he stays with her. Never ever trust a druggie.

I agree, mostly. The loss of inhibition and euphoria with ecstasy is just so strong. She might just do it again because she'll crave that moment of whoredom. not trolling.

True, genuine was probably too strong of a word. There's a connection there, no doubt. Beyond anything physical (shit, I didn't even consider her to be that attractive when we first met. Her personality and matureness (especially for a 19 year old) is what ended up attracting me. As far as work, she's actually became a manager about a month ago. It's at a chipotle, but still. She's definitely not using me for income, I'm in the middle of a hiring process so she probably makes more than me right now

UPDATE

I assume no one care anymore, but this issue has been resolved.
I called, said exclusivity is out the question. And the only way we could still see each other was as fwb. We agreed and that's where it stands. Thanks for all the advice, you miserable cunts

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You realize your passivity is partly to blame for this, right?

Yea. I was going to break it off with her like two weeks ago, but all I could think of was how it was going to affect her depression and shit. So I didn't. But after talking to her I realize that's what I should've done in the first place. Oh well, lesson learned: don't try and get serious with a 19 girl who hasn't gone through her whore phase yet.

She's depressed and you blame it on her supposed need of a whore phase? Wew, man.

>druggie
>cheater
Red flags OP

Of course.

that's not even a question
get rid of her at the spot

>seeing each other for a year
>exclusive but not in a relationship
>gets fucking wasted and makes out with another guy
STOP TALKING TO HER
How fucking beta do you have to be?

Tell her that you want to know that she's yours. Make sure she understands you also want exclusivity and that you want an actual, official relationship

Dump that bitch without thinking twice

Thank her for honesty.

You can go in one of two ways:

1. Dump her right there and then, save yourself the heartache

2. Give her a chance, forgive her, and let her build trust between you guys

You got cucked by the concert chad. To remove your virgin cuck status you must forget about it, fake you are going out with her and just use her as a cum dumpster. If she gets pissed you cheated just say the same tp her and continue cheating and fucking

You are getting cucked

Well i'd blame it on the E, but at the same time, those who gave it to her must have known and i wouldn't be surprised if the dude gave it to her.

The problem with admitting small "offenses" is that there's no trust to whether or not something more serious happened. I'd ask her friends what happened and if they can confirm (don't ask the women, ask the guys, women always lie for another). Accuse the guy she made out with that she admitted to having with him, that way you can force him to confirm and spill the beans. If he doesn't, well, either he can keep shit to himself or he just admits to making out. In the end you'd need to admit to your trick, otherwise it backfires.

>>she wants exclusivity, but doesn't want official relationship status
>>I think that's pretty retarded but who along with it since I do like her

I read the thread and all the responses even though I didn't need to.

You agreed to be exclusive but allow her to keep her options open for situations just like this festival. She used that option, you aren't going anywhere, so the terms of your agreement with her is still relevant. Just stop whining about it when you are the fool, out of desperation, pretends to have a committed reciprocal relationship when she never agreed.

>we've been seeing each other for a year now after meeting at an former job of mine
>she wants exclusivity, but doesn't want official relationship status

That should have been the very first signal to get the fuck out of dodge. If someone isn't willing to make things official things between you two after around 2 or 3 months of seeing each other, they're stringing you along and using you.

This chick has been playing you like a card the entire time. Dump her and move on.

She probably sucked him too. Woman do a shitty thing where they often partially confess an infidelity because they want to soften the blow but still feel good about themselfs for being "truthful". Girls that don't want a relationship status when in a relationship are usually whores. They don't want Chad to think they're taken or to think they're a whore for cheating.

dump that bitch
I know you won't, but you know it's the right thing to do

While all of what you say is true, is what she did cheating? I don't think it even comes close, maybe a little shitty, but after all OP agreed to the terms. He can hope she stays in line with his expectations but what he expects and what he agreed to are opposite.

You cannot fault the girl that is not in an official relationship for fucking around with a guy at a festival or any other guy for that matter.
You can't really fault her for deception because she told OP from the beginning this isn't a relationship.
And you cannot fault her for asking for this arrangement because OP could easily have said no way.

OP is getting exactly what he agreed to

Don't think you guys read this post but that's how this whole thing got resolved

but its not resolved really. OP will still believe she will change her mind and be horribly hurt when she goes missing the first night and he finds out from someone else she's fucking some other guy. He agreed because of desperation but I do credit her for another attempt at convincing him she doesn't want him for a romantic relationship.

This honestly.
At the end of the day, it was "only" a kiss, but let her know you will NOT stand for this shit.

I am OP. I called her yesterday and the first thing I said was we're not exclusive. we both agreed to be friends with benefits and that's it, and me expecting her to change her mind would be retarded.

>I’ve never been in a relationship, so maybe it isn’t my place to say

i can confirm you should never give relationship advice to anyone.

Op, I’ve been there. If a woman has issues calling it a “relationship” then she has issues committing. Save yourself the time and cut her off if you’re just looking for marriage material, of which she is certainly not, but I guess you can keep her around for the sex.

God bless user

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You should dump bro. Not worth the trouble

This sucks, bros

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just gtfo of this weird relationship

Dump her dude. Your young and have time, and you definitely aren't marrying this bitch. If you want to make an impact on this dumb cunts life, dump her so that she learns a lesson for her future.

>wants exclusivity but doesn't want to make it a "public" relationship
>cheats on you
>wonder what you should do

It's basically smacking you in the face dude.

LMAO have some self respect you fucking loser.