GUIDELINES:

>Kicked him out
I know I said that, but I wasn't too rude about it. I just dropped hints and It was more of me eventually saying if you're going to be like this maybe you should go home and he just looked surprised at me but he took the hint and left. He lied down in his car for over an hour before he left

He got too high! We're supposed to have fun but he was just sitting there barely saying anything and just hardly responding to whatever I said. He smoked too much so it's his own fault. If you wanted to have a good time drinking with someone and they just instantly got blackout drunk, wouldn't you he annoyed? Why is this different?

>I even mention other guys around him and he doesn't seem to get jealous
This does the opposite of what you think. It doesn't make guys jealous, it lets us know we dodged a bullet of being roped into petty games and shit.
You essentially confirmed to him that he shouldn't keep being involved with you.

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It's bumming me out to think that, by any measure, women simply aren't as sexual as men. That men and women partake of sex with different motivations, and that any pleasure either of them gets from it is asymmetric at best. It's something one party will always hold over the other party in some respect.

Anyone else have thoughts on this?

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>f you wanted to have a good time drinking with someone and they just instantly got blackout drunk, wouldn't you he annoyed? Why is this different?
Because he didn't know how strong it was going to be. It's like if you invited someone over for a drink and gave them one that was a lot stronger than they expected.

this

Wrong. Some women are very sexual, some aren't. Same as men. I'm not that sexual but I dated a girl that was near nympho level into sex.

Sex just stops being interesting as you get older. I'm more excited about vidya and working on my car than I am about sex these days.

your view is completely incorrect from the biological veiwpoint.
beside that. I did met plenty of women much more sexual than me, guy who prefers to have sex five times a day.
try different women

Except this isnt true. Generally men have higher libidos than women, emphasis on generally. Id say about 30% of women at least have a sex drive higher than the average male.

I've done it to other guys before and it's worked. They usually ask about them and some guys actually get mad but they like you more after.
But with this guy, I mention to him I may go hangout at my guy friends place and he just keeps looking at his phone and said he had to go to class

>I mention to him I may go hangout at my guy friends place and he just keeps looking at his phone and said he had to go to class
Yeah you're out then.

>Match with girl
>Send her a pun
>She replies with "that's r/Tinder material"
>Unmatch immediately because the idea of being made fun of by strangers is terrifying
did i overreact

You're a disgusting piece of shit and I hope no dude is ever so cursed to have to be with you

You dont invite someone to get high and then get mad if it doesnt go exactly how you wanted, that isnt how getting high works
You dont kick out a guy whose that fucking high, real friends dont do that shit and no one is worth being a romantic partner if they cant also be a real friend
You dont try to manipulate men by abusing their emotions

Fucking kill yourself

t. female, not a dude, just so you dont think its only men who find your behaviors fucked

>guys actually get mad but they like you more after
Not in the long term though. It's pretty easy to tell you're the petty game playing type, which guys get tired of. This guy figured it out pretty fast so now he doesn't want to get involved.

Yea you coulda still gotten her

>kicked him out and let him drive home high instead of letting him stay to sober up

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Okay. I try not to beat myself up over that stuff but she mentioned an extremely specific fear of mine. Thank you

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My friend has some interesting theories regarding girls. One of which he whole-heartedly believes in is the idea that you if he orbits a girl there is sort of a “habitable zone” i.e he isn’t too close to her if he wants to start a romantic relationship but he isn’t too far to have a hope.

I mean it’s seem logical to me but it doesn’t seem like something that would really happen. What do you guys think?

I feel like the main reason people are getting mad is because of the kicked out thing, but I mentioned it wasn't like I actually kicked him out here You're overreacting

And real friends would also value each others time. I had work in the morning and was sacrificing time by spending it with him which I don't mind as long as we can actually have fun but he was sitting there like a vegetable

Such as it is, female lust never seems as physically or genitally focused as male lust, it always seems mediated by emotional and social factors (jealousy, insecurity, hierarchy, etc). One thing that seems constant is a supply-and-demand dynamic; otherwise, how could prostitution exist the way it does? Men selling their bodies to women just isn't a thing compared to the reverse.

Continually hinting you dont want him there and then letting him leave is just as bad as straight up kicking him out, if not worse because you did the same thing in a passive aggressive bitch manner

You're wasting your time getting high anyway. Real friends value their own friends safety over their time. You should understand he cant have expected to get that high, and that it wasnt really his fault.

Listen, youre just a fucking bitch. Its clear that nothing could ever possibly make you a good person that actually cares about other people. Youre not suitable as a friend, partner, and definitely not as a mother.

I dont say these things out of anger but out of a teeny tiny hope I could get you to wake up and pull your head out of your ass, because I actually want other people to be happy. You never can be happy as a selfish cunt.

No, everyone is mad because you did various shitty things.

>muh time is more important than not letting my friend drive home high

Awesome.

Female lust is more mental, yea. That doesnt mean the mental part has to be based in shit like insecurity or hierarchy - they can be into you because of how strong you seem, how safe they feel, how turned on you make them, etc.

Women also do experience physical lust and can just purely want out of instinct and physical need. It just isnt the focus most of the time, though it exists.

Men sell their bodies to other men mostly. Women generally would not pay for sex. If many women would pay for sex there would be many more men willing to have sex for money. Either way, anyone who buys/sells sex is the bottom of the barrel of either sex and not a good example of that sex.

How important is closure? I feel like I need to send this girl one last message before I move on. We weren't "officially" a couple but I feel like we both were giving hints that we wanted each other. She would transform my words into pictures. I know it may sound crazy.

Our falling out was due to severe lack of communication.

It just seems wrong. If I was right about my intuition and I don't give her closure, I couldn't live with myself knowing that fact.

Depends on what you mean by orbiting really.

Typically the idea of orbiting means you're too nice and are just hanging around the girl for her gratification, i.e. you pay her attention when she wants it.

It is entirely possible to have a platonic relationship with a girl where you're not orbiting her and aren't stuck just being friends forever. In my personal experience it's fairly easy to do this if you have a flirty nature. It doesn't work if you're the type of guy who is too apt to worship at a girl's feet because it does require behaviour that would be considered "asshole" behaviour by incels/robots/orbiters.

Getting a message isnt necessary for her to feel closure but if she needs it might help

Thats not what orbiting means.

The habitable zone exists for a large number of women who are somewhat dumb and sort of go from guy to guy because they feel a need to be in a relationship with SOMEONE and they also start relationships for very poor reasons - they have a poor sense of their own emotions while also being ruled by them.

These chicks definitely have a habitable zone, but theyre good for little other than fucking and not being single.

sure, tell her

>Continually hinting you dont want him there and then letting him leave is just as bad as straight up kicking him out, if not worse because you did the same thing in a passive aggressive bitch manner
I don't agree, and if he really wanted to stay until he was sober I would've let him.

>You should understand he cant have expected to get that high, and that it wasnt really his fault.
Uhh yeah it is? He took big fucking hits, he could've taken less or smaller ones.

>Youre not suitable as a friend, partner, and definitely not as a mother.
That's ridiculous to say based off of this.

I don't do it, but driving high is fine it's not like driving drunk. Also he got home safe so there's no problem.

Nobody has even helped me with the main point of my post. I'm asking how to fix this and get his interest back, not for people to judge me for something they weren't there for

>different people have different reactions to things

Imagine that.

I'm a pretty controlled person and when girls do this shit to me I instantly write them off in my head. I refuse to play that game. You shouldn't need to bait me into being jealous just because you have issues with feeling wanted.

You don't hand a guy a drink made of three parts everclear to one part coke and then get mad when he immediately fucking hits the floor. That's on you for not fucking giving the dude a heads up first. "Hey, don't hit this too hard, it's like the shit they smoked in 'nam." That too fuckin hard for you to manage?
I swear, whenever a woman has a problem with something a man does, the root of the problem is that she expected him to be fucking psychic and omitted information that he would have needed.

He said he's smoked a lot before since he does it to help him sleep, but he was a lightweight and probably just trying to impress me by smoking so much which was stupid

For men: My new bf is really bad at thrusting his hips into me during sex. Are there any tips I can give him?

Deadlifts

I feel like this whole conversation thread is bait.
>I kicked a guy out
>now he won't talk to me
>won't even behave jealous when I try to make him do it
>what did I do wrong guys

If it's not bait then you need to stop making excuses. You got him too high then told him to fuck off, that'd hurt anyone's feelings. The fact that you would have let him stay doesn't mean shit if he didn't know it, because when you're at someone else's house and they start hinting that you should leave then that's exactly what you do.

If you want to fix it then have an honest conversation. Apologise for kicking him out, explain that you didn't like how high he had gotten, and then stop smoking weed and being a stoner dipshit.

How do I get rid of a female orbiter?

How rude are you prepared to be?

Last female orbiter I had was while I seeing another girl casually and I used to make out with this girl in front of the orbiter until she took the hint.

Well I would do that if the only girl I was interested in wasn’t in an LDR

But you have been helped. You've been told you can't fix it and that's it.

dudes

would it be unreasonable/2weird4u for your gf to specifically ask for a non-sexual conversation about how to sex you? and maybe like, guided "lessons?" like "okay today we're going to work on x position" and just practice but just not in full emotionally vulnerable regalia

follow up: how do i delicately explain the following because this is why i need to have a sit-down conversation about it. i don't want to hurt my dudes feelings over this because he's basically hurting my feelings but it's genuinely not his fault at all.

>be me
>high libido
>want that diyuck all the time
>mildly disabled (car accident, should improve with time, exercise and stretching which I'm actively working on)
>literally can't be the one doing the fucking
>sad/kind of insecure about it so just don't initiate non-bj related things
>i like bjs
>but not when that's the only action that's happening
>so not on that diyuck as frequently i like
>because humiliation

it's the weirdest turn-off for me if he even suggests i go on top. the biggest downer is him physically "suggesting" a motion/speed and it's just like... my body doesn't move like that.

any position I can't do more than lay there and react, which is great but not very spicy if you know what i mean

i feel like i'm just a fleshlight that breaths at this point and it hurts. like i'm debating signing up for a class on how to twerk so i can get specific broken down instructions on how to even do that

i'm really beating around the bush bringing it up because it's just that big of a sore spot for me, i feel grossly inadequate.

pls help

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In that case ask yourself how you'd like to be dealt with if you were an unwanted orbiter.

Be blunt, make your position clear, don't offer to remain friends with her because that's mixed signals.

Thank you for actually offering advice

Wow, what kind of asshole would do something silly to try and impress a girl he likes. What a douche. Unthinkable.
This is sarcasm by the way.

>would it be unreasonable/2weird4u for your gf to specifically ask for a non-sexual conversation about how to sex you?
I'm an awkward faggot so it'd be a little weird, but I would honestly think pretty highly of a girl who can actually communicate.

I bet you really impressed him by kicking him out and then trying to make him jealous that you're hanging out with other guys.

Maybe a little weird? But then again your situation isn't the norm and so this sort of conversation becomes less strange.

In any case I think that it's important to be able to talk about this stuff in a relationship. It's always going to be a bit awkward at first but you should go for it. Let him know about what you can and can't do and the things you want to work on.

He knows I'm not trying to get attached to people I meet because my last relationship was bad. Our relationship started as friendship but became fwb. He even knows I have a tinder, but I didn't think I'd actually start liking him more than just a friend

>diyuck
you dont speak like a ghetto dweller like this irl do you?

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>He knows I'm not trying to get attached to people I meet
Combining his knowledge of this with your stupid jealousy mindgame successfully hammered into his mind that you want no attachment to him in any meaningful way. Nice work.

no problem, I would totally understand

>on with a girl
>constantly making plans but things come up
>things finally fall into line and this is the one
>she texts me to say she was called into work last minute and that i don’t want to hang out anyway
>now she lost all interest and we arent on at all
she’s the only girl that’s ever been attracted to me bros, what if she’s was my only chance at having a gf. i made out with a girl while i was drunk, but i can’t shake the feeling that no one will ever love me again

>He knows I'm not trying to get attached to people
>He even knows I have a tinder
kek yeah you've sunk the possibility of dating him with these golden nuggets of shit (combined with throwing him out of your place and meeting up with other guys to make him jealous).

She wasnt your only chance
You are just sad right now

It'll be okay

Why does the LDR meme seem so prevalent these days? Why is a girl willing to “date” a guy she met on summer break who lives in an entirely different state

Minimal effort required to maintain it and bragging rights of having a boyfriend.

Maybe because she has genuine feelings for him?

The LDR 'meme' is prevalent because through the internet many people who are compatible can meet when they otherwise wouldnt have. The increasing number of relationships with distance has normalized it more.

t. in an LDR started online (met multiple times) and in less than a year will be closing the distance permanently

you serious?

I'm having a bliss to be honest things went fairly well, previous days were difficult to say the least

Why do girls get exhausted from getting fucked? I'm doing all the work.

why are you replying to him like you’re me?

Just felt like it, I apologize.

not consistently just for comedic effect

Okay so what I glean from this is communication outweighs just sitting there about it. I've already made halfish attempts at broaching the topic, floating things like "I wish I could do x,yz" to gauge the room but the conversation just went nowhere, so I have to probably just bite the bullet and really come out guns ablazing on the topic.

follow up: would it be weird to write a letter (maybe read it aloud? idk) I feel like I sperg out too much around him when it's my turn to talk, and never really get to the point I want to make so I literally feel like I need a powerpoint to explain how I feel properly. and this is such a sensitive topic for me (sex has felt reeeally unhealthy at times because of it), I can already see myself fucking up the conversation if I went in unassisted

I'm aware it's my responsibility to make it really known what's going on, so hopefully I can figure out a way but man this so hard. Literally the last shit I was thinking about when I got into the accident

Yes writing a script is weird. Just have the conversation. It's weird for him too.

Literally just tell him what you posted.

People like you are the extreme minority and need to understand this. More often than not it’s not really worth persuing an LDR. With obvious exceptions
Are these not the LDRs typically ended when one party finds something better or simply gets bored with the relationship?

maybe just change your initial post a little. It was fine in my opinion. Try to talk to him as much as possible and once you can't proceed anymore, just give him the text to read. Don't read it yourself, that's pretty weird

hell, you're a really mature person. Hope it all goes well for you.

>People like you are the extreme minority and need to understand this.
So are people in relationships in general, dingus. Very few relationships end in marriage, and very few of the resulting marriages are permanent.
The distance isn’t the issue in LDR’s, if you’re committed to each other you’ll make it work, if you’re not then you won’t.

>distance isn’t the issue
it literally is the entire issue retard

Youre right bro, Im just tired of how much negativity everyone has. Just because a bad situation is likely doesnt mean you should just assume its the case if assuming so doesnt benefit you. Im tired of the sort of attitude that looks at random strangers and, for no reason, just wants to think the worst of whatever theyre doing/look like.

>The distance isn’t the issue in LDR’s

thank you, i actually didn't consider it is probably baseline weird for him too until i posted

i didn't think of it as a script, that's a better way to put it and that makes it sound weirder than the idea did.

thanks anons you are so helpful, while we're here talking about the script thing if you don't mind

WHAT the fuck would you think if you happened across or found out about a trove of essays/short stories and memes your gf made and kept to herself based on things that happen/don't happen between you two? most of it's positive desu, i just don't want to overwhelm him with messages about him

i honestly find that scripting things out, writing essays about events and just venting via photoshop and not sending that shit really helps me with my insecurities as they go past the bedroom, in the past I'd mentally take it out on the person I was with (i.e. just assuming they hated me and were stringing me along for conveniences sake)

and for the positive things it's just like, my personal space to express how much i like the dude without coming on too strong/scaring him off

but I obviously don't send it because that's fucking weird but boy oh boy am I mortified of ever getting found out. I don't wanna delete because sentiments. I've made a little title card for the folder explaining what it is, but still what if

>the distance isn’t the issue
I seriously hope you don’t believe this

Any LDR that breaks up because of distance would have broken up for some other reason if they lived within a half hour of each other. All other things being perfect, you don’t let something stupid like that get in the way. If strong relationships can survive someone having a fucking stroke and becoming an invalid, they can survive a few plane trips ffs.

one of the reasons people enter a relationship is physical contact, user.
LDR is ok as a temporary thing, but that's it

thank you for thinking i am mature, genuinely. I'm trying very hard to not be as crazy as I feel about things. I basically have to logic my way out of waking up and thinking "he probably tells everyone I'm like a dead fish in the sack", to get more on the track of "naw I'm just a cripple, he knows that, we just haven't talked about it enough pertaining to this topic you try your best bby gurl"

I dunno, it's not easy though I will tell you that. what does help is bouncing it off of neutral, anonymous parties. so thank you so much.

desu the chan is something he and I have in common so I'm apt to just print a screenie of this post and have it at the ready like

"hey so i felt weird enough about our sex lately to go on Jow Forums to basically give myself permission to talk to you about this, here's the post laugh at me and laugh at the image now that the ice is broken we can talk about this" annnnd scene

Well duh. I never said anything about PERMANENT distance, that’s fucking retarded.

Most LDRs I’ve seen end up ending because of the issues the distance causes not just because they live a distance away from each other. Ultimately people enter relationships with a desire for physical intimacy and being in an LDR really puts a kabosh on that.

Where is that guy from a couple threads ago who was an RA and dropped some truth bombs on LDRs?

just do your thing, I guess. if he's a half decent person he should understand and be happy you talked to him about it, no matter what kind of medium you decide to use. just make sure you won't sperg out before you get into the important part

Then they ended because one or both of them didn’t care enough for it to be worth it the effort. Dassit, man.
Relationships end for all kinds of reasons. Someone might break up because they can’t deal with their S/O farting in bed, that doesn’t mean “bed-farter relationships don’t work,” it means those individuals didn’t care enough to come to a compromise that’d MAKE it work. Same with issues of finance, disability, mental illness, family drama, whatever. Plenty of people make it work, plenty of people choose not to. And good on them all, because of course you shouldn’t make a shitty situation work if it’s not worth it, and anyone who gets into and LDR with someone they don’t see a real future with is absolutely kidding themselves. But the issue there is the “not seeing a real future,” the distance is just what reveals it.

College relationships are fake relationships by default, they don’t have to be LDRs for that qualifier.

His point also involved the fact that most people her asking for help are probably in college so people in their late 20s who’ve actually matured shouldn’t really be giving them advice based on what they were doing as adults in the real world

A lot of people meet their spouses in college. Most people on Jow Forums are probably in college anyway so his advice probably rang more true than any of the 30 year old boomers here give

Do skinny guys repulse girls like female bodybuilders repulse guys?

No. Many like skinny guys

Everyone has different tastes. There are plenty of guys who would fuck female bodybuilders too.

My current gf was "dating" a guy in fucking Australia (we live in the U.S.) and she'd never met him in person. She had planned a trip over there but the cost was and time it took was ridiculous. Good thing she didn't because she "broke up" with him the second she partied with me.

> met a girl at a college party
> hit it off pretty well in party, e.g., life goals and objectives matched
> ended up at her place after the party ended with some other weirdos
> once last of us left, she said we should all leave at the same door opening
> went to get a glass of water, the final people who left just promptly said have fun as they closed the door
> was making my way out, as she suggested, before she said that the time is quite a lot already, so it doesn't make a difference
> I said I can stay if that's what she wants
> she said no and thanked for staying in for the night
wtf

I tend to have a problem with closing one-night stands, what should I do?

>plenty of guys
Come on, this "plenty" encompasses like 0,5% of all guys, 0,4% of whom would fuck anyone else if there was a choice.
Sure, there are always exceptions, but to ignore patterns is just... ignorant.

I would say if you’re in college and the girl/guy you’re into is in an LDR just go for it.

>I said I can stay if that's what she wants
Remember: women dont want to take responsibility for sex. And they never will.

Is it smart to break up now to avoid an inevitable break up? The inevitable break up would be caused because of race, difference of what we want, different thoughts on having kids, and even where we want to live. Things are going great now but we're worried about the future. Just curious to hear different perspectives