Am I texting her too much?

Currently I'm in college and I've been seeing this girl I sort of like. The problem though is I feel like I've been texting her too much. So far for the past few weeks I've been texting her at least once a day. Mainly for things like whether she'd like to eat together or study together. Half the time she would agree, mainly depending on what she's doing and when I asked. I ask partially because I like her but also because I have no one else to do these things with.
Do you think this is too much? What else should I do instead?

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If you two really get along then there's no problem especially if she's responding back.

Although you seem to be crushing hard so be careful I know you aren't thinking straight.

So how well do you two get along? Have you had sex yet?

So far we've been limited to just eating together occasionally, working on homework together sometimes, joining to the same sci-fi club, and we even went to a movie once. The thing is we really aren't in a "dating" relationship yet. Like so far while I like her, I assume she's thinks of it as mainly platonic.

She's not really your typical girl. For one she has no social media presence at all, like no Facebook or Snapchat or anything, so I've been having to communicate with her through instant message through our phones.
Secondly she doesn't appear to have many friends. When we talked she told me that she had very few friends in high school, and the few she did have were basically social autists like me and her. Because of this I'm assuming she's never been in a relationship before, however I plan to ask her about that later at some point.
Thirdly she confided with me that she's afraid she might have asbergers or some other form of autism, obviously high-functioning of course because she's not like a complete sperg like someone like Chris Chan.
The thing that strikes me about this is that this is scarily similar to me. Like from the few friends in high school down to the fears of having some sort of undiagnosed autism.
We also have similar interests in things like fantasy, video games, and animals.

The only thing that makes me hesitant with the texting situation is that when I text her I often am usually initiating it and when she responds she usually use few to one word replies. While normally I would consider this a bad sign, when we talk IRL we just talk a lot more, if that makes sense. Like the difference is almost night and day between texting and IRL. I think it might just be that considering her absence of social media she just doesn't like texting in general.

As for me, I personally have not had sex yet. However I know this sounds rather unbelievable considering other people, but really I'm not looking for sex in a relationship.

I understand where you are coming from about sex man. It isn't the point of the relationship- the connection is.

Well this is a pretty innocent thing you two have going. It sounds like you really like her and she at least values you. Girls don't really text you like all the time unless they've really opened up to you, but even then it could just be that she isn't very good at it (most likely the case since you described her as a bit socially challenged.)

It doesn't sound like she's the type to have multiple guys on the hook that she strings along and that really changes things in your favor.

You get to play by the old playbook and just be there for her, but at some time you're going to have to open up. Do it in a memorable romantic way and play

Prepare for the best and worst outcome.

Also alternatively you could play the long game and just never mention a relationship and just let the attraction build. This has its pluses and minuses to though, but it requires a lot more effort and you're the only judge as to whether that is worth it.

For the past few days she's been having a lot of exams, so I haven't really asked her to do anything with me and instead have just been asking if there's anything she's struggling with that I could help her with, considering we're taking not exact but similar classes.

At some point this week I was going to ask her if she'd like to go to the football game with me this weekend. Besides the obvious reasons I want to go another one is I have to go to a game for an agriculture class. The only issue I've had with this though is I've asked in the past but she said she was already going with her family, and I didn't want to tag along as I felt it would've been awkward as fuck.

My main idea so far really was sort of a hybrid of both ideas, where I was going to wait a bit to let the attraction maybe build seeing as we've known each other for about 3 weeks now, then try and open up to her later. My goal is likely to do this by the end of the year.
Whatever happens happens. I'm sort of used to alienation so if that happens it won't bother me as badly.

>3 weeks and no sexual intimacy

ooo buddy that changes things. You have a crush and for the love of god don't just ask her to be your gf because of that. Please build time with her and at this point you aren't even friendzoned so I would say by how you want to rush things you should just ask her out on a date and then you'll know the truth.

>So far for the past few weeks I've been texting her at least once a day
Same situation as you, only we've been texting all day everyday and have confessed our feelings to each other.
We told each other there is no such thing as texting too much because any text from the other makes us smile.
So if you know she likes you don't worry too much and know when to stop. Don't text meaningless shit and you'll be fine, text with purpose.

I'm stressing the 3 weeks part. Having some intimacy like a kiss at least would mean you could do things differently, but you could be there for her for at least another month as you are now and take the advice I gave (Because I assumed you knew her for at least a couple months) or you could just treat her the same as any other girl you meet in college and just ask her out.

Wait, so if I'm interpreting this correctly, I should either ask her out now/in the immediate future, or plan it out in the long run like your second option before.
I mean I think you could say that I've already asked her out on a date when I asked if she'd like to go watch a movie with me. We both had an alright time and I did end up walking her home to her dorm (however that was mainly because it was nighttime and on campus there's a frat house that has a rather rape-y reputation to it nearby). The only thing is I didn't really hint at all about wanting a relationship or anything.

If it helps at all I feel like I'm one of the only people she's in regular contact with on campus.

You didn't ask her on a date. You asked her to hang out.

Asking her on a date would be:

You want to get coffee or go to this restaurant and then saying it's a date point blank so there is no misinterpretation.

That's if you want to go that route.

Alright thanks for the clarification. It's just that from some other people I've talked with this about they said things along the lines like "don't specifically say you want to go on a date or go out with her, just be casual and ask her to hang out with you sometimes."

Before I ask her on any sort of date I was first going to try and just talk to her more, primarily on the topic of whether she's dated anyone before. My instincts are telling me she hasn't but hey you can't be too sure.

After that I was sort of planning to segway into the idea that maybe we could date considering we both have no experience in doing so and we'd both just sort of figure things out together.

>"don't specifically say you want to go on a date or go out with her, just be casual and ask her to hang out with you sometimes."

Imagine hanging out with your friend and they suddenly spring the shit you want to do to her. She'd probably cry Rape. No. Honesty is always the best policy- those people are giving bad 'PUA' advice.

Also with honesty- you'll have no regrets if you 'gamed her the right way'. You tried honestly with an open heart and it didn't work out- there's no what ifs, because you know for sure. You don't want to win her through deception do you?

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Okay then, my current idea now is I'm just going to continue doing stuff with her casually for awhile, then later on purpose the idea of going out after I feel like we've gotten to know each other well enough.

That's the safest play. Good luck lad.

You’re going to end up in the friend zone...I’ll never understand why guys do this.

It's because we're afraid of coming on too strong. Like we're in this strange situation where we're constantly thinking "should I ask her now or wait a bit and get to know her more?"
Asking her out too soon ends up with you creeping her out and looking like the pathetic Bold Guy Matt Hoss on Youtube while asking her out too late gets you in the friend zone.

It's definitely a possibility with that strategy. I'm still pushing for the idea that he should just ask her out point blank and end this charade.

I just feel like it's too soon to do that considering I've only known her for 3 weeks.

novice mistake

only text to set up a date

thats in the early to a year in the relationship

the occasional good morning, how ar you is okay.
But a fullblown convo in text... is better off in a real convesation, where you can actually engage her

It really isn't. You could ask her the first time you met to be honest.

That's what I've been doing so far, texting her to ask if she just wants to study or eat today.
When we do either that's when I actually talk to her about stuff that's important.

We have a generation of chicks getting dicked within minutes of meeting guys, what’s wrong with “I think we should date” after 3 weeks...

careful you don't regret it. i did that with a girl and it was cute but now she's like a monkey on my back

Because this girl doesn't seem like the type of chick that would like to get dicked within minutes of meeting someone. She's more of an introvert that from what I've seen probably prefers to at least get to know people beforehand.

The same thing basically as above. The thing is I've been confused on whether to go with what you people say or instead go with my own instincts.
Like on one hand I don't want to drag it out forever but on the other hand she seems like the more introverted type that wouldn't agree to such unless I got to know her a little more.

What do you mean by "monkey on your back?"
Like is she incredibly clingy or something?

I appreciate maybe she won’t be getting dicked within minutes but it doesn’t matter what kind of girl it is, they’ll respond in the same way to guys who show some balls, as opposed to the safe guy who’s just texting her to go eat or study.

I'll say this much my man. You're addicted to the feeling and you want to keep it going as long as possible. You're playing with fire and you can try and control it or you'll inevitably end up getting burnt.

Desperation is a stinky cologne that everyone can smell.

Cool it off for a day or 2, but don't stop if you're getting responses, make sure you're not responding too fast when she texts you.

Go out and form another friendship, regardless of if this goes well you don't want a girl you're dating to be your only or even your primary source of entertainment.

You said she agrees to hang out, is this when you frame it as "some time" or are you actually setting dates and meeting her?
Maybe try simply proposing a day next time you bring it up?

More or less when I ask her things like going to eat or study it's rather immediate. Like I'll say

"Hey you want to get something to eat this evening?" or "You wanna try and work on the calc homework together?"

For things that require more time to consider and such, like going to see a movie, I've set up an actual date for when to go, although I try to be flexible if her schedule complicates things.

And I do have other friendships in college, like with some people I know from school and my roommate of course. It's just that all their schedules are weird and often when I'm free they're not so I can't do much with them.

Okay then, I'm going to try and ask her out next week, because there's legit some things I want to know about her before asking her out like her thoughts on dating and such. I don't want to ask her out and find out she's a lesbian or asexual or something, I'd just look stupid then.

so, are you meeting with her, hanging out, etc.?

Are these dining outs and calc homeworks actually taking place?

Most of the time yes. If I had to say I'd probably say around 1/2-2/3s of the time yes.
The times when they don't is usually because she has other things to do like class or another club or something like that.

ah, then i wouldn't worry about too much.

If you want to start a relationship with her, i'd back off for a couple days, then ask her out on the next meet up.

If you wanna be friends, then fuck it, text her as much as you want.