What could be the real reason some perfectly nice guys decide to "Give up on dating all together"???

So recently I hung out with a dude and I really enjoyed our hang out but for some reason he is in a current dating state of "I've given up on women."

my question is, WHY is it that he is giving up on dating and women when women have expressed interest in him?

I can't make sense of this. I asked him, "Why does it seem like you aren't interested in dating any women anymore?" and he said, "I use to worry about it a lot and I realized doing that made me upset, so I decided to just give up on dating all together."

Just, why??? I don't get it. not only that but he is extremely successful and started his own "business" which makes him a decent living. not only that but he has a great personality. so there's no reason females wouldn't be interested I have no clue what's up.....is it because he doesn't have any experience whatsoever with girls? i guess he grew up in a lifestyle where he has always never had oppurtunities to meet girls.

I DONT GET IT someone please help me understand whats going on.

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You got your answer in the other thread you posted this in

You can't get hurt if you don't play.

There are no reprecussions for girls to destroy a man's heart no. If they do then other girls will just turn to them and say 'Girl! You SAVAGE!'.

The juice just isn't worth the squeeze anymore.

Because dating takes a lot effort and the reward doesn't seem worth it.

It means he wants sex without the commitment part.

Besides sex, what does a relationship bring for a man? It eats up your time, compromises the way you like to live, adds stress and puts you at legal risk. Not to mention, women today are completely insufferable on average.

He prioritized his own mental wellbeing over getting his dick wet. That's why. Bitches be trifling.

It means he wants sex without the put yourself at great emotional, social, financial, and legal risk part.

stupid bait thread

pretty much this Most relationships are about people wanting to change other people or people seeking comfort and absolution in a relationship. There's absolutely no value in it and until the mainstream indoctrination changes the outlook and since that's not the case, i don't even remotely see any point in looking for another relationship with yet another dysfunctional human being that i have to babysit because it's incapable of being reasonable and sincere because nobody has taught them how to behave

You already got your fucking answer, get the fuck out of here with these damn repeat threads.

He's not interested in you to begin with, it isn't just about not being interested in dating, you're probably just ANNOYING AS SHIT

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Well as a man in a similar situation, I can try to explain it to you.

First, I have to deal with all the political bullshit going on where every dumbass thinks they're special and if you don't subscribe to their insanity, you get mobbed on and no one seems to be doing anything to help the situation. The last thing I need in my life is having some crazy try to #MeToo me because everyone will believe her without any evidence whatsoever.

Second, I'm not going to drop my standards just because the overall standards have plummetted. This means I'm only going to bother with people I have a particular interest in and that was already a more rare occurrence before all this political bullshit went nuts.

Third, once I reach a certain age, I don't see a point in getting married or having kids. At that point I'll have totally adapted to not having anyone (which I pretty much have already) and I'll be too old to properly take care of my kids as they grow up not to mention complications in birth due to the likely age of my partner. At this point, I'm starting to only even bother at all because of sex (where before I was interested in love) and I can get that without any commitment quite easily.

tl;dr You can probably boil that all down to the risk and effort is not worth the reward. I'd rather hire hookers for the rest of my life than worry about whether the person I'm dating will go crazy a few months to a few years from now.

>is it because he has no experience whatsoever with girls?

Pretty sure it's the opposite

>bumping a stupid bait thread

im sorry i accidentally posted in the reply section of a thread and i had meant to start my own thread. i do not know where that thread is any longer

i seee. thank you for your response

the risk and effort is not worth the reward???

i still dont understand. why would a human being just choose to never date

why would you choose to miss out on meeting a wonderful girl? you dont want to fall in love?

no actually he has very little he has told me this

out of all the answers this one i like I guess cause it does align with him i think...he does seem like the type that would just not want commitment

or maybe he's just...I dunno

I honestly wish I never met this guy sometimes. or maybe it could just be me....no yes its probably me

Because they want to miss divorce and having a kid into a loveless marriage; dating brings worries of the future. Being single you can safely put yourself in a cardboard box with no collateral damage to lovers or children.

It's a lifestyle with a lot less stress about the future, specifically, another person's future and their involvement in yours.
Couple that with all the SJW scares going around and now guys not only don't want to be cheated on, dumped gracelessly or divorced, but they also don't want to catch a rape claim for sleeping with a girl after some cold boiz.

In reality, dating is a shit deal for men with how many clemencies women get. It's easy for a woman to toss aside a man and move on and to get encouragement. It's a little less coddled for men.
Then, women get away with social and economic murder in the courts. It's a little less fortunate for men.
And of course tons of these women are happy to act like this on the one hand and then ask if they could file rape charges or ask if they should cheat.

You just can't measure someone's character, not anymore, not with the internet and its innumerable, omni-gradient influences-- from idiots to people with a shocking level of detail in the matter, to the point of uncanniness-- you just never know what's going to happen tomorrow.
For the guy in question, it could be one, all or none of these points really, but the short story of guys quitting dating is that all the risks involved aren't worth "a wonderful girl" because she isn't very wonderful when she divorces you.

can you link me the thread i have no memory of where i posted it i have forogtten already

I've only ever been really successful at socializing with and getting girls. a large part of that has to do with growing up around only very feminine and liberal people.

I know a lot of tips/tricks to dealing with women and a lot of personal details of women.

I'll try to keep it to why guys(often very reasonably want to get away from them.)

They'll suck up all your time if they're truly interested in you and you let them making it very difficult to accomplish your tasks.

Marriage is a disaster scam and its legal format is no longer viable in this social climate making the end goal of a relationship something not worth striving for. (I personally met a man who was almost literally a billionaire and lost it all due to mental illness and divorce the mental illness knocked him off his feet and his wife drained him of his money through divorce).

Rejection is difficult to deal with especially when there is no legitimate reason for it. Every one is so quick to offense and some one saying "hey you look nice, could i have your number/call you to get to know you?" is on the same level as stalking some one for blocks saying "ayy bitch lemme take you into this dark corner and give you some dick, AY BITCH IM TALKIN TO YOU"

There's a lot more but this should be enough to discourage a reasonable intelligent person(especially if they're successful) that isn't socially equipped to navigate and deal with these land minds.

Use the fucking catalog.

Realtalk, im a decent person. Not the internet meme ‘nice guy’ m’lady type but just a perfectly reasonable person who expects mutual respect. Anyway i dated two girls whom i absolutely loved and adored. One cheated and the other dumped me cause her mother told her to. But she fucked me (literally and figuratively) over the period of a year which really drained me of all empathy.

Anyway, i feel quite crushed after the last one so i havent even thought about women the past year, just worked out and studied hard in uni.

Ironically the more i worked on myself the more female attention i got. Not joking when i say dozens the past year in uni alone.

Im sure most of those girls are decent and they were all pretty qt( but im so burned out that i automatically recoil even being casual acquaintances with women.

Yeah as pathetic as it sounds ive been ruined by a girl and cant even form normal bonds with half the fucking population anymore. Im still in uni for a year and a bit so im really hoping i change by then, because my polish friend who is very perceptive told me that i just passed over so many decent girls and some have openly hated me for rejecting them for seemingly no reason.

Alas, i dont know what to do. I really hope i get out of this mindset

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I don't date because I'm tired of being rejected (a Lot), cheated on, abandoned and humiliated. Don't worth the hassle

>so many decent girls
>some have openly hated me for rejecting them for seemingly no reason.
Mate you've missed a bullet there, they are clearly not decent if they are unable to deal with rejection

If they are 8/10+ they will probably just be doing the online thing and lining up girls for casual things, if below that or depressed/anxious he's probably going to end up as an incel

Like other anons have said, the political climate has made dating not worth the time, effort, money, or pain.

Having your life ruined over a false #metoo or even just not flirting the right way can end your social and professional life regardless of you being innocent or not. People are dragging shit up that "happened" 20 or 30 years ago with zero evidence and they are being taken seriously.
Hell, a Canadian politician had his career ended recently because some cunt claimed she was underaged and he took advantage of her at a bar. All the witnesses (including her own friend who was with her the ENTIRE evening) sided with him and stated she was 19, and when she refused to consent to any activity he treated her with respect and drove them both home no questions asked.
His political career is still dead in the water.

Marriage is even less worth it with how heavily the courts are stacked in womens favor. Even P.O.W'S are getting fucking jailed for not paying child support, while they were literal prisoners of war.

You couldn't pay me enough to risk being alone with a woman nowadays.

I've already been in abusive relationships (two women with BPD, I didn't learn the first time.) and dont want any more of that shit.

>implying any women are decent in the #metoo #believeher hysteria era

Well its in a university where a social context is in the form of making friendships then relationships before moving on. Everyones doing this and i guess im being anti social by not playing the game since all my friends are theres a social expectation of me to be a player in this mess. So when a girl starts getting friendly i reciprocate in respect but completely ignore her in any attempt to get intimate.

In that context, i would seem like a stuck up person who thinks they dont deserve to get my dick

In reality im just so tired of all this

He's an emotionally and psychologically weak person. Women merely serve as an avatar for his insecurity and inability to process his own emotions. Its the same mentality a small child gets when they throw down their crayons and "give up" on coloring because staying in the lines was too hard. He wasn't raised with the faculties necessary to properly process adult relationships and to deal with negative emotions like rejection, desperation and failure in any kind of mature way. On the outside he may be a professional successful adult but on the inside he's a child. He'd rather turn you down before you get a chance to turn him down because he is too mentally frail to risk the chance of rejection.

t. roastie


.t Mr Goldstein Shekelburg making money as a divorce lawyer

>to deal with negative emotions like rejection, desperation and failure
Why should he be obliged to take that risk?
To give up with something that is virtually impossible to finish without extensive self harm is the only reasonable thing to do.

There's a lot of good men out there with stellar personalities and character, but still fail in the dating game, and end up alone.

That writing style and word choice reads more like a man wrote it.

Has he ever read any of your messages? Because that would make him lose hope in the other sex.

Because we eventually realize that the fairytales are bullshit, the courts are rigged, the happy family and loving wife thing is dead, females in general are radicalized to some degree, it hurts to keep trying and getting broken every time you fail (whoever's fault it is is irrelevant here), and we don't want any part in it any more.

I don’t mean to sound pretentious but I think I’m a ‘nice guy’ in the sense that I’m normal, somewhat social, relatively good looking and I am a highly functioning autist.

Personally I’ve given up because females are so two faced and I’ve had a lot of bad experiences in the past and so have my friends.

One girl I asked out on a date with me didn’t even respond, I asked her out fairly normally in a nice way and she just walked off, the next thing I know her and all of her friends were laughing at me over it.

Anyway, thats just one of a handful of shitty things that have happened to me for no good reason or due to a petty misunderstanding that wasn’t my fault.

probably doesn't like the song and dance. he's successful so finding women isn't difficult, but i bet its hard to be able to tell if the women care about him or are just looking for someone successful so they no longer will need to work.

also could be gay, i would do that if i was into it. seems like its much easier to just meet up with somebody and have no expectations beyond getting off, while with women its depicted as being shameful to be motivated by horniness, you have to pretend you have 100% wholesome intentions and aren't just in it to bang just like they have to pretend they have 100% wholesome intentions and aren't in it to just get free shit. when you've been in that enough, it gets extremely disillusioning. he still gets horny obviously, which is why he still shows interest in you, he's just not willing to go through the stupid fake process anymore.

High school sweetheart tore my heart from my chest. After that I've only ever been able to hook-up with people, so I quit expecting a relationship.

My family is also chaotic though, got mixed in with the wrong crowd, I couldn't imagine bringing a girl into it.

doesn't worth the girl takes it all and the guy is not allowed to love anymore.

I'm a woman who can relate because I've been hurt a lot. People are people. He has been hurt before and doesn't want to open up to someone and get hurt again.

I've only had one girlfriend, she was my first kiss and everything. I thought we were perfect for each other, we shared so many of the same interests it was uncanny, I could totally be myself around her. Things felt so right in fact that I was gonna propose to her even though she was my first girlfriend. We were together for 4 years.

And then she cheated on me with a friend I had had since 5th grade when I was on a vacation with my grandparents. She blamed me for it and didn't seem remorseful at all. Still I loved her so much I tried working things out, but she ended up moving in with him, filed a restraining order on me, and then moving across the state with him. This is the last thing she said to me when I asked her why she cheated.

I gave my entire heart to this girl, who seemed to be so perfect, and she just threw it away without a second thought. I can't get hurt again like that, it would destroy me utterly. I doubt I'll be able to open up to any other girl as authentically as I did to her out of fear, and I don't really see any point in a relationship if I'm not able to do that.

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just afraid of getting hurt again

Look at the positive side, you're a cuckold now, the fantasy of many men these days.

Yeah, three months on I'm not too proud of trying to work things out, I don't think that would be my reaction now. I was just so shocked she could do that to me it broke my brain for a while and I was on autopilot. The reason she left was I went over to my 'friends' house to confront him, and he wouldn't even come outside to face me. I knew this dude since 5th grade and he didn't have a single word to say to me about fucking my girlfriend, so I ranted at him for a while until he told me to get off his property or he'd call the cops. By the time I got home she was already packing her shit up.

Reply to her with "k". That will hurt that bitch.

I didn't relply at all

lmao is this bait?

as if it's even worth the effort to meet a tinder date for coffee
signing up to be a beta provider, how desirable!

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maybe a very very VERY gay man.

Thats the pompous pseudointellectian typing style of someone who takes numerous dicks in the ass, in a row.

This man speaks wisdom.

You have to be 18+ to be on this site

>What could be the real reason some perfectly nice guys decide to "Give up on dating all together"???

No "perfectly nice" guy is giving up on women

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Tons of them are because between divorces, #metoos and the general entitlement of people on the whole, a lot of men and women are just stepping away from the market and adopting a lassez-faire attitude, waiting to see if something comes with the flow and not being terribly fussed should it end up that nothing does.

It's just a scary market, because the internet lets all the fucking freaks, nutjobs and shitheads camouflage in with the normal, well-intentioned people. Most of the well-intentioned people will just drop out because the insane risk mitigation you get from stepping tf away from dating as a whole is insanely comforting, like cathartic to the T-- gone are worrying about being alone in a room, figuring out what will and won't work for dates, and when you should be touching them in what ways. Instead you just amble through life and maybe it'll happen, maybe not. But a lot of them don't 'actively' date-- you might score a date after being good friends with them but it won't be the Tinder culture of date, fuck, marry in 8 months.

Of course, that is in and of itself a separate issue

If I had done that I would have a 2-3 year restraining order on me by now cause it turns out she's fucking crazy

She was talking about getting engaged literally a week before she started cheating on me

And this is the baseless diatribe of a person who lives behind anonymity because they lack the balls to say shit about shit to anyone's face

Bake my pizza, wage troll, and gtf back under your shitty bridge

>Tons of them are because between divorces, #metoos

If some guys are giving up on all 4+ billion women because they went through a divorce or they read about how Harvey Weinstein raped a bunch of women and they're like OH NO! NOW WOMEN MIGHT THINK I RAPED THEM TOO BECAUSE #METOO IS A FEMINAZI PLOY then they're not perfectly nice.

Eh, if you wanna marginalize a problem people face that's your problem, not theirs. They're gonna do what they're gonna do and bitter people like you will continue to use the internet as your only valid platform for launching diatribes against them, considering the last positive thing to leave your mouth was your lunch the last time you threw up.
Or dinner, I really don't care which meal.

I know you used to care about this women so no disrespect but she's fucking crazy just like my ex girlfriend. Our relationship was exactly just like yours, everything in common etc. My first everything as well. But we were only together for a little under a year. She broke up with me & blamed me for not caring and all this nonsense, I tired to work it out but she actually believed I wronged her. I was like what the fuck are you talking about. But I got passed it and found another women whose not crazy and it's really nice. Try again user you'll find something better. I have one question though, were you physically abusive to her? Like hitting her and shit if that is the case then yeah I can see why she did what she did.

Nope, I never hit her once in the 4 years we were together. Two months before we broke up she asked me to try slapping and pulling her hair while we were fucking. I tried it twice and nothing hard enough to hurt. So she's actually talking about something she herself asked me to do. But she conveniently forgets that once she's upset

>bitter people like you will continue to use the internet as your only valid platform for launching diatribes against them

you're literally describing MGTOW and le red pill and other "nice guys who gave up on women"

Wow brother I can relate to your situation alot. Did your ex girlfriend have a mental illness of some sort? Mine did, she always accused me if shit that simply wasn't true, like how I insist on turning the lights off when we have sex ( I turned off a single light in the bedroom before we had sex this one time & she asked if I found her ugly). This was just one example if many.

Not that I know of for sure, but I did start seeing a therapist shortly after all this cause it fucked me up so much, and she said it sounded like my ex had a lot of traits of BPD

Me too, I got so fucked up by it I started to see a counselor. Mine did too, BPD I think was her disorder that she had. Honestly brother just forget about her, she's probably going to eventually drop the guy she's with now like how she did with you. Women like ours take any sort of affection they deem better right away. They can't get better, there only good for is getting a nut and that's it

Yeah it fucked me up so bad, happened three months ago and I still get intensely strong feelings that I fucked up in some way, like being distant or mean or whatever bullshit she accused me of. It felt like I needed to be perfect all the time or she would just focus on the negative things. She got me thinking in such an unhealthy way that I've even caught myself thinking I that I should've proposed to her before my trip, or I should've waited to confront her about the affair until things had calmed down. Just really unhealthy thoughts about keeping her at all costs

And literally the only thing my former friend has going for him over me is he literally has 0 friends after what happened since our friend group is understandably pissed at him, and he's not close to his family. So now the only person in his life is her, so he can give her 100% of his attention all the time, which I guess is what she wanted

These OP

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This is presumably a bait thread, but after a long time of “stop chasing women and they’ll come to you” advice, leading to nothing but boring and ugly chicks, I just settled in with my routine. I had a relationship with a girl that came to me, and realized life was a lot more fun when I could make my own decisions. Simple as that.

There is no point in trying unless you want to settle. Which I don’t.

I have news for you. It was your 'friend' that whispered those ideas into her head while she was sucking his cock.

Kek, living the dream

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Me too brother me too. I thought everything was my fault & that I had to be extra careful or she's going to get depressed or fucking pyscho on me calling me names and shit. She would always focus on just the negative things when there was much more good in the relationship. Yeah I keep thinking for a while should I do this or that different, but nothing would have worked. I believe in God & I believe everything happens for a reason. Don't worry about it anymore, I have a new girl now & she's better in a sense that she's much nicer & has no mental illness

It's going to fail bro, there relationship will end it's just a matter of time. Go meet new women when your ready & show that bitch whose really successful

And to think I trusted them both, i was so fucking naive I thought it was a good thing that she was making friends with my friends

"Nice guys" have been reviled as evil, creepy incels their whole lives, somehow you think he's now obligated to pursue any girl who gives him a chance?
He's used to not getting any -- eventually you get to a point where it doesn't bother you anymore.
Once you no longer have the addiction/compulsion, a girlfriend is such a drain on time, money, and effort; he won't bother unless he really thinks she's worth it.

Why should anyone feel obligated to give people who can't even shine his shoes the satisfaction of rejecting him as if they are anywhere on his level?
Here's a thought experiment for you: Suppose OP was a guy and asked why some girl told him she'd given on men. How would you have responded? Be honest.

Only trust yourself user- you're all you got in the end.

And (You) to boot
What a catch-all!

>thinks SJWs aren't trolls

I don't want them to be able to change me like that, I feel like if I become bitter and cynical then they win. I liked the way I saw the world before this happened. I don't want to become like them

Okay lets have a heart to heart here.

You're really young and unfortunately encountered some shitty people. There are two types of people Cool People and Assholes. Assholes just want to shit on everything cause that's what gets them off. Everyone gets shit on by assholes some time just wipe it off and live life with the cool people and actually be happy unlike them.

Do you really want to be like them and their relationship where they go:

"Hey hun watch me shit all over this person!"

"HAHA Good one Bob! Check out me shitting on this one."

"HAHAHA that's my girl! You take the biggest shits that's why I love you!"

*Proceeds to shit all over eachother*

Yeah I'll have a much better time of it making new friends, finding a girlfriend and shit like that. I'll know what to look out for. To be honest I feel kind of strange cause I'm 25 and I've only done anything with one girl before

Don't let your body count get you down. Pursuing your dreams and passions is what makes you a legend. Sex is power over literally one other person.

I went on a kayaking trip through my graduate school a week ago, one of the girls seemed interested in me and asked if I'd like to go to the zoo with her. She's cute and has the same major as me. But I'm honestly not interested, I feel like my ability to view girls romantically has been damaged beyond repair

You'll be really surprised how one kiss can change everything.

Despite what you might think, men don't generally really like women. If we didn't have a biological urge to shoot babybatter in you we most likely would have no contact at all or might even have killed off all women.

Yeah it might, I don't want there to be 'three people in the relationship' though if you know what I mean, other girls shouldn't have to deal with this shit and I can't really hide how much I'm hurting. I might just go volcel for a while

I promise you that if you try it will be a positive experience.

Don't ignore potential life rafts. Even if it's not the one that will take you to your desired destination it is better then drowning and waiting to get the strength to swim again.

Just feels like I'd be comparing this new girl to 'her' which isn't fair. I feel like I've been ruined by the chameleonic nature of my ex, that no one will 'match' as well as I thought we did

It's getting harder to want to help you when you talk like such a weakling.

I know. I need to break this defeatist spiral I'm in.

So recently I hung out with a girl and I really enjoyed our hang out but for some reason she is in a current dating state of "I've given up on men."

my question is, WHY is it that she is giving up on dating and men when men have expressed interest in him?

I can't make sense of this. I asked her, "Why does it seem like you aren't interested in dating any men anymore?" and she said, "I use to worry about it a lot and I realized doing that made me upset, so I decided to just give up on dating all together."

Just, why??? I don't get it. not only that but she is extremely successful and started her own "business" which makes her a decent living. not only that but she has a great personality. so there's no reason males wouldn't be interested I have no clue what's up.....is it because she doesn't have any experience whatsoever with guys? i guess she grew up in a lifestyle where she has always never had oppurtunities to meet guys.

I DONT GET IT someone please help me understand whats going on.

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