How would you react if someone you’d known forever suddenly went bi or gay?

How would you react if someone you’d known forever suddenly went bi or gay?

I’ve always acted straight, have presented as straight to people I’ve known, I’m attracted to women, but I’ve thought about experimenting with a guy for a long time, and sometimes crossdress in private.

So long story short, I’m considering just going out to a gay bar or signing up for Grindr and seeing where this goes, but I know it’s not something I’d be able to keep secret for long. The blowback terrifies me. My friends are cool people, but I think it’d totally change their world. What do I do here?

For the record, I don’t really think I like guys, but I want to try and see.

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most people wont care unless you start trying to have sex with them.

Give it a try first, if you're not into it, then it's no big deal. There's pretty much a zero percent chance your friends will find out.

And even if they did, they would have to be real pieces of shit to stop liking you for that.

How the fuck is it possible to not know if you like guys or not?

You either do or don’t.

Straight guy here. I've actually had three friends (two guys and one girl) come out to me as bi in the past couple of years. I still see them as the same people, nothing has changed in any of those friendships. I understand that it can be a pretty uncomfortable thing to admit to people. The only way I reason I would have changed my opinions on any of them is if it turned out they were lying about things like their beliefs or their values.


Oh wow thanks I'm sure this was mind-blowing for OP

It’s complicated. Very rarely am I walking down the street looking at a guy thinking “mmm yeah I’d like to get all up on that,” but I will watch porn and fantasize about what it’s like to get a good dicking. Which could just be painful, uncomfortable, and awkward, and make me realize I don’t like it at all.

I mean I’ve made the “lol fags” jokes in the past, but nothing too much about me would change.

>I mean I've made the "lol fags" jokes in the past
Yeah this wouldn't really bother me. If you're wondering what it's like to get penetrated though you should probably try with a toy before a guy.

Would probably say 'good for you' and then slowly cut them out of my life. I've had enough people pretending to be my friend who've suddenly tried molesting mer or hitting on me.

I have, and I enjoy it. Not exclusively, but I have gotten off multiple times with something up my ass.

I can guarantee you that I have zero attraction to my friends. In reality, it’d be hard for me to name you two guys I find sexually attractive. The only one I can ever think of was former Texans quarterback David Carr, as weird as that is. First time I ever thought I might like a dude.

What you do in the privacy of a bedroom is really no-one’s business except those you want to sleep with.

maybe try Grindr or a gay bar in another city so that it's less likely that your friends would find out immediately? idk

I live in the southwest where the next city over is a half day’s trip. I should have gone through with it in college, when I could have gotten away with it. Here? Won’t take long before I run into someone I know.

I came out as bi telling my friends i will fuck a trap as long as it looks like a skinny girl

Got tourists? I suck tourist cock here in a small town.

>My friends are cool people, but I think it’d totally change their world
It won't, m8. As long as you don't completely change your identity or behavior, most of them won't really care either way. The only way it'd ruin a friendship is if you confessed your feelings for one of your straight male friends and he wasn't interested. Otherwise it wouldn't matter.

You might lose one or two, but if they're so homophobic that they can't even associate socially with a gay/bi person, are you really losing much?

>How would you react if someone you’d known forever suddenly went bi or gay?

>How would you react if someone you’d known forever suddenly went bi or gay?
it sucks, it's much harder joking about homos or his relationship with his bf without sounding homophobic. Also him being very physical is now uncomfortable as hell.

I remember when I was 13, I finally accepted my best friend was gay after waking up to him nude spooning me on my bed after a sleepover. It was single-handedly the most traumatizing moment of my life. I jumped out of the bed and just stared him as I slowly backed to the wall and slumped into depression. I ran out the house, and when I came back an hour later he was gone. I've avoided him ever since.

He'd showed many vague of his homosexuality in the past that deliberately ignored. Sometimes he'd ask me shit like "what would u do if I was gay?" or I'd catch him grazing my ass with hands. I mean, He was my only friend what would I do without him?

Honestly, I felt betrayed.

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Would you have cared if he hadn't been flirting/molesting you like that? If his interest had been with other guys, and his friendship with you remained totally platonic?

Nope, Probably not immediately but I would've had let him go eventually.

Very disappointed. Being gay is a terrible curse and a serious mental illness. I'd recommend you stop watching porn and putting things up your ass, start lifting weights, and see a therapist before you cut your lifespan by 30 years.

no big deal in my circles. if someone is going to cut contact with you for being bi then they probably weren't a good friend anyway

How would I even know if someone changed their orientation, unless they told me, and why would they do that? What other people do in bed isn't my business.

>Live pretty close to a gay bar.
>Thought about going sometime to try dick.
>Afraid I'll be blackmailed.

it sucks, but I have a fear of women anyway so at this point it doesn't really matter.

You can smell most queers a mile a way. Sometimes they don't even have to open their lispy mouth.

Not the same thing but basically the same. Friend of mine told me she was non binary. I'm like no shit I'm not made of 1s and 0s so. I'm not going to burn the bridge I'm just going to fail to maintain it and let it collapse on its on. She's always been in a poor mental state and this just confirms for me how far down the hole she's gone

Blackmailed for what? What on earth could get ruined by it coming out that you experimented? You can sue jobs for sexuality discrimination, you probably already hate your family, and you're on Jow Forums so you're probably single.

I don't understand.

>How would you react if someone you’d known forever suddenly went bi or gay?
I'd probably respect them less. So many people over the last few years suddenly decide they're bi even if all they've done is experiment slightly (or even not at all but just think about it). And it's all because they want to be a special snowflake and be a part of a community or just like to play a victim by being part of an oppressed people.

It's fine if you are bi or whatever but it's not just some switch in your head that you turn on.

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that applies to zoomers but the older they get, they higher the chance is they just want some intimacy
as said before, though, these people aren't going to make a big deal out of "coming out" or some gay shit
they'll just wear a wig and fuck another guy in a wig and go about business as usual


I'm a guy and if one of my friends wanted to do some gay shit on their own time it would not bother me, but if they ever tried some shit on me it would end the friendship.

you sound really straight bro, but if you can remind me how much, i'd like to hear it again

i might doubt it if you don't remind me

OP here, I'm not that guy, but someone in college did try to blackmail me when I was talking about hooking up with them and backpedaled. He found my dorm, approached me at a coffee shop... He wanted to start telling people shit about me until he apologized for being a creep and went away.

He was like 25 years older than me.

Most people won’t be bothered. Everyone worth keeping around you won’t think too much of it.

Just be yourself. If they’re true friends they won’t care. I’ve came out as bi (id never marry and grow old with a man but if he’s feminine enough I’d have no problem fucking) and no one really cared and if they do so what it won’t change who you are.

I wouldn't care unless you decided to change your personality to make your sexuality the centerpiece of your identity. I'm happy to talk to a friend who's trying to figure shit out about themselves, but who you want to fuck isn't actually all that interesting to me.

If you turn into someone whose identity is solely defined as "I'm gay" or "I'm bi", and that's all there is, I'm probably going to get bored.

I have a friend from when I was a teenager who I lived with (he and his mom helped me out a lot when I left home) who came out as bi but mostly gay. Didn't change anything between us. He knew I was straight and although he said he had some feelings toward me, he never wanted a physical relationship for me (I wasn't his physical type). We stayed friends.

>You can sue jobs for sexuality discrimination
You can sue anyone for anything. Doesn't mean you're going to win. There's a patchwork of legislation in individual states in the USA that prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation, but no Federal law. There was an executive branch policy under Obama prohibiting that type of discrimination, but that's essentially been reversed under Trump.

This also doesn't do anything about people who discriminate in ways that aren't obvious and can be difficult to impossible to prove.

>What do I do here?
Go experiment. Meet up with another guy in a similar situation and see how it goes. There are other places besides Grindr and gay bars that might help you more.

Yeah, the law really needs to move forwards about this.