>be me >18 >just got a job after hs >had a lot of guys that liked me and even a few relationships >typical girl, average looking, maybe a 7/10 (its really hard for me to admit this due to extreme confidence issues) >bi >likes games, anime and that sort of shit >probably daddy issues >could never pin a relationship down because once someone hurts me i just distance myself >hurt a lot of people >once even blew off a guy i really liked because i was too insecure to meet him before i moved to a different place, fucked that up majorly >when someone confesses to me im the type of tard that'll go ''oh thank you but i dont really see you that way but we can still be friends if you want!'', despite knowing that's retarded >can talk about anything, don't get offended easily, i even joke about myself a lot >sex is not an issue, in fact i like talking about sex casually >i hate talking about love >virgin because i don't want to have sex after like 2 months of only dating
am i weird for wanting to bond with someone and have it take like a year or whatever and then date and THEN have sex? whenever i seem to present that idea and my thoughts to a guy that seems interested, he blows me off eventually am i the problem? what's wrong with me? do i get a shot at a normal life? advice pls
Good luck trying to find someone like that, Guys are just sexual and at like the 2-3 month mark they’re gonna Expect something sexual
Lincoln Ward
go see a therapist and stop asking autists on the internet about your problems, fucks sake. youll be lucky to find a guy who will be ok with not fucking you for that long though.
Justin Martin
I know, I'm not saying it's wrong to be like that, I mean I'm not exactly innocent or anything, I'm very sexually motivated but I don't open my vagina as soon as I like someone I just want to have it meaningful. I feel weird fucking someone after like 2 months of knowing them.
Brayden Green
Thing is i've been to a therapist, said nothing was wrong kek no need to be toxic dude And ye, i do think that asking for patience from guys isn't fair but i just can't be happy otherwise. weird to explain. sounds like im crazy but i just want it to mean something. a lot of things dont mean anything nowadays.
Dominic Ross
>bi found your problem, go back to tumblr
Jack Russell
funny shit, dog
Hunter Bell
It's good to have standards, but i think you are setting the bar too high. There's an abyss between meaningless sex with someone you barely know (which is actually fine if this is what you want) and wanting to know someone for a discrete amount of time, then date him for no less than a year and only then, if everything went well, have sex. Sound like a series of tests more than a relationship to me. Maybe it has to do with the insecurities you mentioned?
Brandon Ward
>am i weird for wanting to bond with someone and have it take like a year or whatever and then date and THEN have sex? Itt: a millennial desperately tries to reinvent the wheel Pro tip, this is the way humans found mates for hundreds of years before we fucked it all up with the hookup scene, this is why almost every religion encourages or mandates celibacy until marriage, a strong friend like relationship must form the foundation, then a more loving one makes the walls, and I guess sex is just a roof. There is nothing weird about wanting to build a house foundation first and there are plenty of men who want this.
Brody Davis
What you have to offer if you won't have a romantic relationship or a sex relationship? The only thing left is a friendship and none of your friends can breakt the zone.
Landon James
That makes sense, i guess i never thought of it that way. i just want to have less shit to make me feel agitated and have a close to 99% certainty that this person is a person i want to be with long time. And, ye, probably has something to do with the insecurities, the reason i don't instigate anything even if i like someone is partly also due to being insecure, thinking ''how the fuck do i not fuck this up and why the fuck does he/she like me'' I'll think about that, thanks user desu
Don't listen to him, a lot of men back there used to fuck around with whores prior marriage, and marriage usually wasn't the results of long "dating" anyway
Christopher Russell
Dunno if i'm still considered a millennial whilst born in 1999? I'm an eu fag, so don't hold my ignorance against me I agree with you the things is most people don't agree with us. They get impatient, and with all the bullshit that surrounds the current life of a teenager, patience isn't really taught. This is tho, i'd definitely be willing to wait for someone who's insecure about themselves if they need time to be comfortable with me. I get that not everyone's like that tho.
Jason Lopez
Sort of this Understand that what you want OP isn’t exactly strange, in a way it’s romantic. The problem is it is not at all practical and even unfair in this day and age.
Guys want sex. The Relationship is cool to but at it’s core, we want sex out of it. You are no longer in a time where a man has to jump through hurdles to try and find sex, it can literally come to us with a click.
It has never been easier to find sex. You will find that no men will want to play your game very quickly and the VERY few who will you won’t find attractive at all as they themselves are desperate enough to put up with such a wait.
Josiah Anderson
That's true yeah But still My reasoning is that today's dating standard is bad because, time and time again this happens:
dating for 2 months maybe > sex > dating some more > marriage > years go by > unhappiness > kids > more unhappiness > divorce > kids feel like shit
and the cycle continues
Jeremiah Fisher
You're welcome user, good luck
Julian Gutierrez
I agree completely. And that's my problem, i dont fit in with the current state of dating. I get that sex is important but at the end of the day, if you break up with someone you desperately cared for, the sex won't be what's on your mind, right? It's the person. So either way you end up thinking about the relationship, unless you really just care about sex, in which case - yikes.
Justin Bennett
99 is definitely a zoomer.
Jacob Perez
You want to friendzone some poor fool and THEN you want to see if you might want him as a romantic interest. The problem is literally any male ever with a proper ballsack sees through you and that’s what they don’t stick around.
The whole “let’s see how things go as friends” to guys means either A: you’ll never be into them or B: you want to wait and see if you can find something better before you chose.
Jack Roberts
Well i don't really like to think of a relationship as some economic system but let's agree for a moment that's true and pose the opposite:
What if the only thing i can offer is sex? Will i be able to form a good relationship eventually? Is there ever a possibility that a person like that might be happy? You get what I'm saying, user?
I'm not exactly ugly and I'm not a landwhale, had people tell me that i'm fuckable even. I just don't think that's all there is to it. I don't particularly ask for anything mindblowing, except compassion and understanding, the same things i can offer back.
I'd like to have sex, of course, and i'm willing to have it as constantly as possible because I'm a horny cunt but i want it to be with one person that actually gives a shit. I don't think that I can genuinely know a person after 2 months, that's just unrealistic. Imo, at least.
Connor Cook
Not really, the reason why i friendzone is mostly due to my insecurities. If I don't like i guy i just tell him why. He get's agitated but most of the time it's HE that stays, not the other way around.
And i totally don't think that ''seeing through my bullshit'' is bad or anything, i get why guys are put off by it, but sex just isn't the first thing that i look for. A. I don't think that's strictly the case, had a situation where i ended up liking him even after the ''friendzone'', but i understand that a lot of girls do that and B. i dont do things that way. i dont find replacements, if im with someone, there's no one else.
Carson Anderson
Obviously they aren’t staying otherwise you wouldn’t be making this thread. Whatever “insecurities”, you are putting many men in the friend zone and hate when they leave because they don’t want to stay there. Men see through your bullshit and the only advice I can give you is stop bullshitting.
Sex is one thing, but you aren’t even opening the option for a man to even romance you. You want “friendship” and to basically test them to see if they are worthy of romance.
Grayson Diaz
I get that and as i said i dont blame them, thats why im asking other people what to do/not do to stop being like this.
I just find the procedure weird why skip friendship? is romancing the same as getting acquainted with someone? if so, that's really weird. Dunno, maybe I'm just an autist.
