ITT: Ask The Opposite Gender Anything

>Guys, have you ever had trouble or been unable to leave a relationship or dump a girl even though you wanted to? If so, why? And what finally encouraged you to leave?
This is super common. Guys like stability and hate change. They then mindfuck themselves, often with help from the girl, that their lives would be worse, or the girl would kill herself, or that she’d try to get revenge on him somehow.

For my brother it lasted ten years. What fixed him was getting a job taking care of actual retards in a group home. He came to realize putting up with his gf was as stressful as taking care of his clients. It’s funny, because that happened around the time we were finally kind of accepting that she was here to stay, and figuring out how to live with it.

With another guy, my advice (which worked surprisingly well) was to explain that he was doing the girl a disservice and great harm by wasting the best years of her life. That if he broke up with her while she was still in her early 20s, she could unfuck herself and find someone new that could tolerate her.

>With another guy, my advice (which worked surprisingly well) was to explain that he was doing the girl a disservice and great harm by wasting the best years of her life

Wish I knew how to get through to my friend who is miserable with his girlfriend of 2 years. They fight almost non stop, she’s constantly standing him up and canceling their plans together, sex life is non existent. He is ALWAYS in a bad mood after going to see her and it’s fucked, what’s the point of a relationship like that? But then at the same time she’s always telling him that he’s the love of her life, she loves him forever, she can’t live without him, etc. I asked if he felt the same way and he shrugged his shoulders, dead eyed. Calls it a “joke of a relationship” but refuses to break up with her. It doesn’t feel like he really loves her. He just stays out of some weird sense of pride in being “committed” to one person and because he’s afraid of change.

Also, his girlfriend is his good friend’s girlfriend’s sister and they’ve all been friends since high school. I think he’s afraid of the shitstorm and potential awkwardness in their friend group if he were to dump her. His friends all love her. She’ll still be “in his circle” even if they break up. I’m the only one he’ll complain about her to because I’m the only one that isn’t friends with her.

Yeah that’s really damn tough. My honest opinion is that you need to keep out of it unless he comes to you and talks about it. The friend I helped convince to break up with his gf was more or less asking for help to break up.

Even my brother, who was with his gf for 10 years, any advice, and input whatsoever, was unwelcome and rejected. I nearly lost my brother because I couldn’t handle his gf and couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

Yeah, I’ll stay out of it and just try to support him as a friend. Hope he wakes the fuck up sooner rather than later though. Thanks, user.

Good luck. Best advice is to stick around as long as long as you can handle it and be ready to support him.

how do you tinder? i get about 1 match a month in a pretty big university city

people have said my bio and pictures are good

How old are you? If you’re male, you are significantly unlikely to match women that are one year older than you or more (and less likely to match women your age, and slightly less likely to match women only 1-2 years younger). It’s an issue of supply and demand; women generally want men that are 2-5 years older, especially in the college ages.

t. 33 and get college girls all the time on Tinder

Is there such thing as being generally very handsome (as in, handsome to everyone) and being very handsome but only to certain people?

This one girl said both me and my friend are very handsome to her, like she would date either one of us because she likes our personalities and thinks we're good looking. She's very good looking herself so I realized I do attract very attractive women, but somehow no other girl seems to think the same way, I got rejected by good looking and average looking women whereas my friend never got rejected by any girl he's been talking to. Thing is, I would assume he has better game than me but thats not the case, he's very awkward and mumbles a lot and generally tries to "fit in" instead of being himself and I'm the opposite of that but I'm starting to think this may be the problem, its not like I do anything repulsive, I just may come off as too "different" because I don't try to act nice first and then be myself after, I always start with being myself. I also do think my friend is much more good looking than me but there again, I'm the last person to admit I'm good looking so idk. Its just something thats been bothering me lately

All it means is she finds you attractive, it doesn’t mean that you’re “very handsome” it just means she finds you attractive. It’s like those literal autists who open a thread describing the girl they like as “10/10 to me”. It’s just that he’s attracted (and in the case of starting a thread, probably a bit obsessed).

24, ive been using it for 3 years and had 2 dates. i dont understand why people younger still get loads of dates though, ive done so much

What’s the age range you’re looking at?

18-28

Why do women get fucked?

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I recently found out this girl I've been casually ignoring actually likes me.
How can I talk to her without seeming like it's out of the blue?

Yep don’t know what’s wrong man. I’m actually fat and get a few matches a week. Maybe in college towns themselves, girls filter out by age to avoid townies? I know I would, as a guy.

Walk up to her and say hey.

Don’t fuck around or she’ll lose interest.

Girls, is it a turn off if I am white, but have a brown arab dick (not cut tho)
and there's one dark spot on my dick in the middle around 1,5cm in diameter (maybe form overfapping).

Read the FAQ

What are some subtle signs a girl wants to fuck you?

Unironically read a book on body language you autist

>laughs a lot around you, even at your shittiest jokes
>smiles while looking at you, but also glances away a lot
>points her body towards you (knees tilted toward you, leans forward closer to you)
>over the course of being around each other tries to get nearer to you, if you’re not both actively moving about
>eyes dilated looking at you

Why would a 19 year old man possibly want a relationship with a 26 year old woman? Asking for a friend.

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Love? Who knows? He probably knows, ask him.

no resistance to your touch
looking into your eyes

same as guys really

I’m honestly not sure if I should even acknowledge his attempts. I knew him since he was a 14 year old boy and an inch shorter than me, so I see him as a younger sibling in a way. Now he’s very tall and handsome and doesn’t seem to have problems drawing in the ladies (he ended his last relationship like 2 months ago), so I’m a bit confused (and flattened) why he’d go after an old hag like me.

>talking to my crush a good bit over summer
>we're back to college week later
>tells me "I'm so excited to see everyone!"
>sees her friends and gets excited
>I walk past her and don't even get a hello
>I say hi to her to get her attention as I walk past her
>looks around to see who said it
>glances at me for a split second and looks away without saying anything
some time later
>my female friend is hanging out with me before I go to class
>the girl sees us, gives the girl a weird look, then looks at me, says nothing
>tries chatting me up in class, never done that before, she left her friend to move closer to me and talk about some random stuff
>later ask her to join me at some college thing, told her she'd like it
>she's being dismissive like she doesn't want to go because I'm there
>try convincing her it'll be fun
>she's still being nice but dismissive
>we haven't talked since
>I'll see her tomorrow again but don't know what to expect anymore
She's always been on and off like that, for months, some days she really likes me and everything goes well, I walk her home after a night out, she messages me asking if I got home alright, then some other day she won't talk to me much and if I ask if she wants me to walk her home she'd come up with some excuse not to. My attitude towards her doesn't change, but her's to me keeps changing all the time, I don't know what to think of it

Hey girls
What behavior is a dead give away when you can tell someone uses Jow Forums too much or is on the internet too much?

26 isn't old m'lady

th-thanks

seriously though, what should I do? dating a younger guy seems kinda exciting but I’m not sure if I can deal with the stigma and general awkwardness

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If he were a real person, would you date Peter Parker? I ask because I don't think I'll ever be Chad or whatever, but Spider-man seems an achievable role model. Minus the sticking to walls of course.
That and I've been compared to him by a lot of people.

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There's this woman I presume has a crush on me, but as I'm a silly insecure boy, I haven't been at all receptive to her shy pursuit, instead routinely ignoring her meekly expressed interest, brushing it off as coincidence. I think I might have hurt her feelings and now she's scared of me.
How should I approach her if I ever see her again? I'd like to date her.

This sounds exactly like how I act around my crush but he’s too dense to get it.

Yes.

When I was about 18 I was at my best in terms of confidence and appearance but I didn't notice many girls being attracted to me.

I'm 23 now and I feel like I look much worse than I did then, I'm also less confident but I feel much more comfortable being myself at all times and I noticed I seem to attract many more women now.

Do men attract more women when they're more mature or was I just more "blind" back when I was 18 and didn't notice how many girls actually liked me? I'm also living in a different town right now but there can't be that much of a difference no?

>Do men attract more women when they're more mature or was I just more "blind" back when I was 18 and didn't notice how many girls actually liked me?
Both.

>How?
>yes
Thanks.

Ask her out.

We're not acquainted but okay, so long as she doesn't run away from me in a nervous haze.

Whats a place I can ask a girl out to for the first date? I always assumed its either getting a drink, coffee, watching a movie together or going for a walk to a park or something but recently I saw someone mention that some of them are a bad idea for the first date, they didn't explain why, just that its a very bad idea so it made me think, because I did ask a girl out once to a movie (at the cinema) and she flaked out on me the closer we got to the day but asking girls out for drinks usually worked out for me better

My go to is bowling, but really anything where you can talk works.

There aren’t any reliable ones. The signs you should be watching for are ones of rejection. Your actions should be subtle, but assertive. Basically intended on eliciting rejection because otherwise you’re going to continue.

So ask her out for coffee.

In those situations it’s more likely than not genuine, romantic love, at least on her part. Otherwise it’s sex and she’s really into being fucked constantly.

The stigma is tough, but it’s all quite survivable.

I recommend going out with him a few times and seeing if it’s fun. Have you been on a legit date with him or did he just confess his feelings and you don’t know what to do?

Girls

Would you be creeped out if someone asked you out while you were working? (as a cashier, clerk, secretary etc.) Ive thought it might seem like you are cornering them since they have an obligation to nice to the customers

Try playing pool.

A girl I'm seeing behind her bf's back just told me she can't make a lot of time for me because he has gotten very clingy lately.
What did she mean by this, why would she complain to me when I'm the most likely reason?

yeah, that's a tough one... If you wait till the end of their shift it might seem even more creepy. You should probably just go for it desu, but do it in a considerate way when she is not busy and if she says no then accept it gracefully and leave right away.

The only one I agree with is that movie is a poor choice for a first date. Coffee is my go-to for a number of reasons. The most important of which is that it’s low-pressure for her: it’s not expensive for you (so she’s not bound up worrying that you might expect sex), it’s not time-intensive, it’s not formal at all, it’s very public and very safe (unlike a park or a bar), it’s calm and not distracting. Conversation and each other’s personality is the focus, so if it works out it’s 95% because you weren’t a good fit, rather than (like with movies) you weren’t talking enough and it seemed like you weren’t that interested.

Honestly, coffee is the best first date there is these days. Girls all go to Starbucks all the time. It’s just that much more comfy for them. It seriously works.

Make small talk with them, give them a piece of paper or something else that has your number on it, and leave. That way you won't put the girl on the spot while she's working.

Okay it's gonna sound stupid but still. I'm dating a girl who's very cool, intelligent and all that stuff.
So we were walking side by side in the street and she fell (not violently), so I laughed and she got up, we laughed together, her hand was hurting a little but she was okay.
But now I'm feeling guilty as fuck, I should have helped her getting up. I'm fucking scared she's gonna think I'm an asshole or someone she won't able to count on because I just laughed like an idiot.
Am I overthinking it? I'm feeling shitty.

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>Am I overthinking it?
Yes. You laughed together, it's all good. She's probably too busy being embarrassed about falling down in front of you to think about what you should have done.
But next time do help her up.

You’re overthinking it. In fact, it may be better that you didn’t go through the whole shebang of reaching down to take her hand, asking if she was okay, helping dust her off, etc. Why, you might ask? Simple: it’s not natural for you. It’s far worse with women to put on airs and act in a way that’s unnatural for you.

And as you said, you both had a laugh about it. You helped her laugh it off rather than making a big deal over it. As long as you can laugh at yourself too, that’s a very endearing character type.

I asked this girl out to a bar a few times (later to other places, like college events and such) and she always agrees to come and seems excited but I don't think she knows what I meant by going for drinks together, like she's oblivious to the fact thats what guys ask girls for if they like them. We've been out a few times but when we sit down after getting our drinks, even before I manage to say anything, it looks like she's looking for a way out, she doesn't say much, doesn't look at me and looks worried for some reason, but the minute someone comes up to her she tries chatting them up, especially if its someone she knows then she changes completely and feels comfortable but then when she's alone with me again she's back to being silent, worried etc. She even randomly compliments guys that look at her or walk by her when she's with me but never compliments me.

Whats her deal? she always agrees to come and I know its not as friends since we didn't know each other well when I first asked her to come, (I only saw her briefly once before that) and she keeps saying "yes" to each time I ask her out but she always does the same stuff and it feels like she doesn't like me so I don't flirt with her or make a move, no matter what we do or where we go, she always looks miserable when around me.

Why is she like that? why even agree to come places with me if she doesn't like me, wouldn't it be better not to lead me on for so long? it'd be easier for her too, I don't get it.

>inb4 she didn't like you after the first "date" thats why she acts that way
She was like that from the very beginning, seconds after she showed up and saw me the first time we went out

>but I don't think she knows what I meant by going for drinks together, like she's oblivious to the fact thats what guys ask girls for if they like them.
This isn’t true. She knows what you’re doing.
:Why is she like that? why even agree to come places with me if she doesn't like me, wouldn't it be better not to lead me on for so long? it'd be easier for her too, I don't get it.
You’re supposed to figure it out and not ask her out again. She’s one of those women that can’t say no, maybe she thinks of you as a friend and thinks saying no will make you not talk to her again. Or maybe she thinks she’ll change her mind or you’ll be different this time.

It’s also remotely possible you’re overthinking it and she’s just that nervous about fucking up in front of you that she, surprise surprise, fucks up constantly. Here’s a mindfuck for you: I’ve had a girl who acts distant on dates ask ME out, repeatedly, over the course of a few years. She’s genuinely into me but just that awkward in person.

Yeah she was red, I said it was cute but well...I'll help next time, thanks.

Thanks for your words, you're right actually. My parents always used to say "It's no big deal" when we were falling like that.
You know how to speak, thanks aha.

tell her how you feel

Bump with another spider-man meme

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This is a stupid question. That you ask a stupid question like this proves that you don't have what it takes to be Peter.

I'm just tired

youtube.com/watch?v=wpYA3GMlKsA

a) I'm aware it reeks of insecurity, but how is it stupid?
b) I'm not trying to be a fictional character, it's just that people have said I remind them of him, and I'm wondering if that's a bad thing or if I should just roll with it.

If I like a girl should I text her often even if it's just irrelevant conversation or not?
Should I compliment her on her looks? I just compliment her on her clothes so far.
Also we MIGHT end up doing some very long religious walk together in two weeks (though some other friends of her will probably come along as well), is that a good setting to keep flirting with her? I haven't asked her out yet or anything and I still don't know her much.

>how is it stupid?
The FAQ answers this: Everyone has different preferences. Don't ask "Do you like X" type of questions.
>b) I'm not trying to be a fictional character
... but you ask whether you should "roll with it". Roll with what? Imitating/pretending to be a fictional character?

Be yourself is the answer. It's the only answer.

There are several different Peters so Idk if that question makes sense. I assume you mean the Raimi movies Peter so are you asking if anyone would date a brilliant but racist and homophobic young guy?

>If I like a girl should I text her often even if it's just irrelevant conversation or not?
There's no set answer to this. You should always go with the mood and the flow. That said, it's better to talk to her sometimes than never talk to her ever.
>Should I compliment her on her looks? I just compliment her on her clothes so far.
Roughly the same answer: This is dependent on the girl. Generally speaking, though, forced compliments are unattractive.
>Also we MIGHT end up doing some very long religious walk together in two weeks (though some other friends of her will probably come along as well), is that a good setting to keep flirting with her?
It's a religious event and there'll be other people there? Are you dumb?
>I haven't asked her out yet or anything
Ask her out.
>I still don't know her much.
This is why you ask her out. Try a coffee date.

Oh come on, "be yourself" doesn't work. There are things many people need to change in order to survive in a society.

I’m 18, would date someone 35

It’s not a hardline, it’s just past that the chances of me seriously pursuing are much lower

Recently I've met the mother of a girl I have a crush on. We're not dating yet, but we've know each other for a while.
In my country is it common to use honorifics and treat people that you are not close with with a certain kind of respect in terms of vocabulary.
Such as addressing them with Mr. Mrs and such.
After I've talked to the mother for a bit, the girl said to her mother that she does not need to use honorifics for me and should treat me on a first name basis.

Is this a signal that my girl would like to get our families closer? Or am I just imagining stuff that ain't there yet?

Yeah you are right, I guess I'm just clueless around religious girls, I can't tell how genuine they are when they act too nice or friendly or happy.
To be fair though many people go to religious events secretly because they are looking for someone of the opposite sex, I guess that's why religious people tend to end up with other religious people. But I still feel like a religious outsider.
Thanks for the advice!

Mommy issues?

Honestly as far as not seeming like a trembling and nervous wreck laughing instead of helping us a win
It shows you
A) won’t freak out over small stuff
B) aren’t desperate for her approval
C) are comfy around her

Ive texted a girl for several times, nothing big.
We like each other but I think I am being too nice to her, to the point where Im afraid she will think of me only as a friend.
But then again, why would I be mean or rude to her if all she ever texted me was good? I am a very chill person, very few things upset me. But you know, there is always this stereotype that girls go for guys who are mean to them and I just dont want to end up in the friendzone again because of me being slightly inexperienced...

I mean, if be myself means "be enough like Peter Parker that people make frequent comparisons to him", I'd like to know what my dating prospects look like.

I honestly forgot about a lot of that stuff. No I guess I mean more like the "classic" version that comes to mind when you think of him rather than a specific version from anything.

Idk much about the classic peter other than the fact that he's a nerd. I keep thinking about the Raimi Peter but looking back I can't remember exactly how he got Mary Jane.
I haven't read any Spiderman comics but how did he get a gf in those? Did his aunt simply introduce Mary Jane to him and she just fell in love with him because the plot required it or something like that?

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Pretty sure his aunt set him up. If I recall in the Raimi movies she's his neighbor and I believe there was some creepy stares at her bedroom window, but I don't remember.

>be yourself doesn't work
Then by all means, try "be Peter Parker". I'm sure it'll work much better for you.

I don't remember Spiderman being either of those things

>To be fair though many people go to religious events secretly because they are looking for someone of the opposite sex
That's almost exclusively men, and with the ones who pursue that successfully, women is never their sole reason for attending (i.e., they genuinely believe, get something out of the practice of their religion, and want to meet women who are specifically into that religion).
>I can't tell how genuine they are when they act too nice or friendly or happy.
You're a guy, you're supposed to take everything at face value. Don't question kindness or happiness in a woman.

>but I think I am being too nice to her, to the point where Im afraid she will think of me only as a friend.
You're overthinking things. With all due respect, if you think this way about relating to women, you don't have to intentionally do something to upset her; it'll happen organically soon enough.

I'm not that user but anyway that's not what I'm talking about. You can't just tell people to "be yourself" because that makes it sound like there's no need to improve, or like society should adapt to you and not the other way around. And don't tell me that "be yourself" also includes "but also improve yourself" because that's bullshit. People say "be yourself" because they either
>don't give a shit about the person asking for advice
>have no clue how to give advice
or
>have been lucky enough to not realize they actually improved themselves and assume they have been themselves all along
If "be yourself" is not literally "be yourself" then give the actual advice, it only takes a few more seconds to write it.

>I mean, if be myself means "be enough like Peter Parker that people make frequent comparisons to him", I'd like to know what my dating prospects look like.
You'll be an obvious tryhard, and women will laugh at you. Your dating prospects will be shit, though not necessarily worse than they are now.

When people are asking whether they should take on some phony persona, the exact correct advice is "no" and "be yourself". Being phony (i.e., "being more like Peter Parker") is about the strongest girl repellent there is, worse than being obese and worse than being depressed.

As to the general retarded complaint that "be yourself" is bad advice, the vast majority of people who object to it are people who don't actually want advice, but want to argue. I strongly suspect you're exactly that sort of person, so you can fuck off.

Well I do have some trust issues but there's a difference between being kind because you like someone and being kind because your religion tells you to, right? I mean Catholic girls tend to be much more physical and "nice" than average girls, at least where I live, but it doesn't mean they are attracted to the guy.
Yah it's probably mostly men who go to religious groups for that reason but I know some women who do that too. And I guess I'm currently looking for women who are specifically into that religion (though I think I would be interested in any woman who cares about religion or spirituality in general).

It's not a retarded complaint, it's retarded advice. Be yourself means nothing. Don't get so mad just because you suck at giving advice.

Gotta agree with ma boi Satan.
Have pulled as a fat dude with "be yourself"
The key is don't act like Spiderman, don't act like anyone, do and say what you want/feel not what you think will please people

For me it was the opposite. People told me "just be yourself" and I got nowhere. I only started meeting people and going places when someone in my family told me that he didn't like my personality.

So you are basically saying I cant relate to women and will fail anyway, so better not even get my hopes up. I get it.

Girl's
How would you feel if a guy you went on one or two dates with offered to pay for an evening cause your money situation is tight right now? I don't mean when it actually is time to pay the bill but beforehand when you decide where you want to meet up next. Like mini golfing or something.

>do and say what you want/feel not what you think will please people
Yep, this is the core of "be yourself". The reason is that women can tell when you're being fake, and they hate fake people.

Women like men who are dedicated, funny, confident, and above all, real. The kind of person who wonders if people saying he reminds them of Peter Parker means he should emphasize this is the kind of person who isn't dedicated or confident, and probably isn't funny either (given the reaction to "you remind me of peter parker" isn't a laugh, but a "hmm I should take this and debate it internally").

If you don't like the phrase "be yourself", at least in this case, substitute "don't be a fucking poser". Because that's exactly what this peter parker nonsense is: It's being a poser.

How do I get a girl to open up from her shell? I'm not prying, shes just really shy and passive about that sort of stuff.

Depends on how you offered.