Hey Jow Forums

...

it would be neato if you could quote the post numbers.
honestly that dog picture freaks me out it looks like blood

Because I want to criticize your countries politics.

Tories are wankers btw. Vote Labour.

continued.
But if you're feeling tired and lack time and energy, make sure you're feeding your body right. You need proper fuel if you want your body to work as a well oiled machine. How good you eat directly correlates to mental processes too, the fatter you are, typically the dumber you are, so eat good to live efficiently.
Get a stretching and workout app. Don't convince yourself there's not enough time, you literally can set 15 minutes aside and get a full stretch and light workout routine in, which is better than absolutely nothing.
As far as your relationship, just figure out why you're in it. Are you in it because you're in love with them or are you in it because society says you need a partner and you're scared of being alone?

That's great advice, but it's all so vague.. I guess my parenting was that I was taught of being fiercly independent since I was like 10. Parents never helped me with school or friends or literally anything. But I was very harshly punished when I made any mistakes. So now I'm so terrified of making mistakes and doing things that are wrong but I so desperately want to.

I do everything I can to be healthier. I'm just naturally an easily tired. I eat really well and that's why I actually spend so long every day cooking. I also try to exercise when I can, I have a smartwatch that reminds me to get up when I've been sitting too long etc. I do 5 mnute stretches when it dings.
I am sleep deprived though.

Over these past few years, I've gotten so miserable with my situation that my only solace was my relationship. He's in a better country than I am, a country I'd be happier in. At least somewhere where I could speak my native language freely you know? So I guess he became my reason for living and existing. I am so massively depressed that I'm scared out of my mind that if I lose him I will just have nothing anymore.
I don't need a partner per say, I need at least one thing to look forward to.

That was awful grammar lmfao sorry. I rewrote some sentences several times and while rewriting them forgot to add or remove words. ie I'm an easily tired person.

Love is a beautiful thing, but ldr is incredibly tough.
The thing you have to consider though is that despite the happy memories and emotional bond you have, you are two separate people leading separate lives.
Don't attach so much significance to the relationship that you can't exist without them, you existed before him just fine and you'll live after him if things eventually end.
You need to find reasons to live for yourself. Lovers are there to cherish one another and encourage each other, it fosters a bond, it shouldn't foster a dependency. If you, with all of your heart, believe that this man is worth the long distance, if you have the faith and determination and know you can stick it out until you're reunited, go for it. It won't be easy. But what if you reunite and they're not the same person? People change, and in ldr you might not get to see every side of the person.
I'm not encouraging you to end your relationship, but just know that you're an independent human with your own path in life. Paths may weave and intertwine, but don't connect your path to his, it'll be hard to step off.

are you happy, user?

Yes, but it took me a long time and a lot of hard work to get here
It's because happiness is a choice, you choose how to perceive your world and whether or not something upsets your or delights you.
I've taken charge of my life and my destiny. I've still got a lot to improve on, and up until recently I couldn't say that I was happy, but hard work takes time.
I'm in a much better place and yes, I'm happy.

I'm just afraid I'll go out of this life with too many regrets and no amount of positive thinking will help me get over the feeling that I just missed out on too much

Live life with no regrets
Every one of your failures serves as a harsh lesson to guide you forward.
The fact that you even see them as regrets shows that you're still stuck in your negative mindset.
I've fucked up a lot of times in life but every single fuck up has served as a lesson for my improvement.
The thing about worrying about dying with regrets is that,
if you spend your whole life worrying about your actions and in life and living accordingly, you'll die without ever really living in the first place.

What did you do to learn to be like that?
How can I learn to just accept that my life is the way it is? How can I learn to accept my current situation? How do I love life without having experienced it? How do I stop being bitter about the bad hand I've been dealt?
I feel lonely and trapped and I don't know how to get past that. I don't know how.

I understand where you're coming from but it's all vague advice. I spend an awful lot of time reading self help. It's nothing new really.

>fuck boys
What do you identify as?

Enjoy the sun while its still here.

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>I just want to go out and have fun and go camping and fuck boys and do daring things.
It'd be easier to admit you're just a roastie hoping to cash in on your youth before turning 30, hitting the wall and finding a beta provider.

It's not vague advice, you're literally just not summoning up the determination to do it.
It's not supposed to be easy.
Every part of it is going to be hard, but once those habits stick, and it may take a while, life gets better.
But if you're telling me that you know all this information, you're literally just not pulling the trigger.
Do what you need to do to improve even if it's boring or you don't like it at first, because eventually you'll learn to love it. I'm not addicted to going to the gym or eating healthy, I'm addicted to feeling good and I do what I need to get my feel good fix.
Now stop complaining that you're trapped and pull the trigger.

A girl sorry you forgot they exist for a second

Learn to rotate your photos brah

I'm sure life has been easy for you, being born in a first world country and nesting under your parents until it was time to go to college but I have been living alone since I was 18 in a completely foreign country on my own money lol with no mom or dad to make me a hearty thanksgiving dinner.
I'm perfectly fine working but I don't know à single person from the 5 countries I've lived in that has had this much on their shoulders at such a young age.
Chill.

Thats why its your problem not mine.

>all these assumptions
wowie zowie my lass

Wait a second.. Hmm I can't seem to remember. Were you the one who started assuming I was a roastie hoping to cash in? Oh.. Wow. Hmm.

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Is it really as easy as "lol just do it"? 100% I really appreciate the advice but I'd really appreciate some resources too if that makes sense

Yes it is
You do it and stick with it until it feels right
Much like how you have to train your muscles. Muscles don't grow with 1 week of training. You go for a week, slowly see results, and keep building up and up until it becomes a habit and you don't mind doing it.
I'm really not getting how it's not sinking into your head, you don't need any resources because frankly that doesn't make sense

It's as simple as this, you need to make a plan and see it through until the end, if you get the results you want then it will by default become your new lifestyle. If you don't like what you're doing, you may fall off the wagon, revise your plan, and get back on.
But all you need to do is start and fucking finish
You don't need resources, you need to just do it

What do I do about my fatigue? Often when I finish all my chores for the day it's just ridiculously hard to do anything else. I'm just exhausted mentally and physically to the point where i can only lie in bed doing nothing or nap.
Should I just let it go on those days and only work on things on the weekend?
I think fatigue is my biggest roadblock atm. When I'm tired I can't really do anything else, it all falls apart.
I'm not making excuses I'm just telling my roadblocks that I've had so far, wondering what you have to say about it.
I've found that I'm so productive during summer vacation or whatnot.

I never said I wasn't a hypocrite.

Am I wrong though in my assumptions?

If you don't have energy, you're not fueling your body right
Low energy is literally the bodies way of telling you that you either need sustenance or sleep, and if it's in the middle of the day after you've gotten a full night of sleep, you probably don't need any sleep.
But you push through the fatigue. Like I said, it's not supposed to be easy. I was working 6 days a week when I first starting getting in to the gym heavy. I was also going the gym 6 days a week. I was fucking exhausted from approximately one week and then something amazing happened - suddenly the energy started to happen. I started feeling more and more like superman every single day, and I felt better about it BECAUSE I had been tired and sore, it meant that I had worked hard and persevered long enough to see the positive results.
Fix your fatigue though, you've got 4 scenarios here, 3 likely that you can easily fix. Eat the right food, exercise enough, and sleep enough. If those 3 aren't doing it for you, then go to the doctor, you might have an underlying condition.

Very.

I eat er. Well. Occasional nutella sandwich on whole wheat or some bacon but very rarely these days do I eat junk and I mainly just meal prep to hell.
Probably the sleep deprivation then. And also a burning hatred for what I do as a job. I just can't seem to understand why it gets so exhausting like 3 hours in.
thanks user and I'm glad you're happy :) I hope life keeps doing well for you

Unlucky.

One thing that held me back hard was my job.
I hated my job. If you hate your job and can honestly say it's contributing to your misery, for the sake of your health you need to quit. Sometimes life works like a slingshot, we have to pull ourselves back a little bit to launch forward.
Like taking a year between high school and college to wait tables. You're probably going to be making more money waiting tables than you would at an entry level job in your field, but there's no growth potential in waiting tables. You pull yourself back, take that pay cut, and work your way up to the big bucks. Same thing with self improvement, a lot of the stuff simply feels shitty until you really start seeing the benefits.

cant quit because i have to leave this country if i quit haHA. its a job apprentinceship and i just hate the field but haHA cant change the direction either because the govenrment doesnt like that :)))))))
also immigrants dont get silly jobs like mcdo because prioritising eu :)))))))))))))))
whats most depressing is the thought of not being able to do anything else for the rest of my life
That or i go back to my deadbeat country and dissapoint everybody and hate my life as much if not more
makes putting a bullet in your skull sound like the only option

But putting a bullet in your skull doesn't fix the issue, it just eliminates any chance of it getting better
And if you're going to live on this earth, there's no point in living miserably when there's definite steps you can take to improve your live simply by altering your mindset.
But the more you defend your actions and lifestyle, the deeper you bury yourself under a security blanket of justification, and when you start justifying your actions you're literally validating them.
I understand that you can't quit your job and have a lot that is relying on it, but what you can do is use your mindset to focus on the bigger picture. Every time you go in there, don't go there in a bad mood thinking you're going to have a horrible day. Tell yourself that it's going to be a great day and focus on the dream, focus on what you're hoping to achieve by being there. Your younger years are a trial, you have to really fucking work had if you want to be able to relax a bit in your retirement.

Are you actually insane? Labour are pushing SJW identity politics and mass immigration

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I guess atm im in a situation where thats my only choice, to just hang in there until I can do something better. My dream I guess is to get the passport of this country.. But once again that's for my mom, not for me. Eh. I don't have any real goals for myself. I guess I should define that first.
It's not like there's bad. from my job and scholarship I get to save 5k a year. And all my stuff is paid for, like living and food and bills. No debt. I guess Im more fortunate than most in this situation
but i get what youre saying user and thank you

dont feed them

No problem, it's good to see you think of the positives.
A good daily thing to do is practice humility and thankfulness. When you wake up in the morning, take a minute to jot down or even just think about the things that you're grateful for. And smile, even if you're not happy, smiling can influence emotions and make you happy.

do you have friends or people you talk over self improvement with?

what worked for me was taking a SHIT ton of acid.

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Only a few
I'm in a transitional period of my life.
When I started drastically changing my life, I lost a lot of friends in the process because I saw my "friends" for what they really were. A lot used me because I was generous with weed and a lot only played video games with me (which I quit, those friends don't try to hang out with me irl).
But you have to keep in mind that you're the product of the 5 people you're closest with. Take the average of them and that's you. So for me, it made sense to cut out a lot of the toxicity. The friends that truly cared about me are still my friends and are even better friends for having gone through some shit with me. I was a mess for a bit.

You'll find that it's fucking mindboggling how much people would prefer to ignore the topic of self improvement. Because to talk about self improvement implies that there's improvement needed, and most people aren't willing to admit that they have negative qualities worth fixing.

im having a hard time with that too because most of my friends.. great to have a laugh with, not that great of people. only vidya. only go out to drink. etc. hard to fnd good level headed frends. i wouldnt mind some motivated buddies. I find that gong on reddit or whatever helps motivate me a lot more.

user I know the point of this website is to stay user, but would you like maybe to keep up with each other? discuss tips and track progress together?

Not to rant to you, I just think you could be a good role model. I'm actually very motivated for self improvement just have my really down moments sometimes.

I would, but I use literally no form of social media. We'd have to exchange phone numbers or emails which is something I'm not really comfortable doing over Jow Forums, though if there was an easier/more convenient way I would.

Your best chance of finding a like-minded individual is looking for a college student. There's a lot of people in college/university that run clubs and organizations, people that have goals and motivation and want to go places in life. At the same time, a lot of students are there because they're following where the wind blows and mommy and daddy are paying their way.

I do appreciate that you think I'm a good role model, I try to give advice because I've been through it in life, if I can help other people through their troubles, it helps me feel a little bit better about mine.

A big word of advice for falling off the wagon is to accept that it will happen. Some days will be worse than others and you won't even realize you're slipping up, one bad day can turn into 2, then to 3. What matters is how fast you get back up and how much harder you try the next time around.
I really wouldn't mind keeping up and tracking progress if it were easier, but I have faith that you know what you need to do, you just have to remember to keep the faith.
Grit is the hardest characteristic to achieve, but to persevere in the face of adversity is the best way to strengthen your grit. View your willpower as a muscle that you have to exercise and take care of.

In order to feel more alive, in the literal sense, you need to live every day in the present moment as much as possible. Meaning that you're not living each day thinking about what you could have done, and you're not thinking about what you can do in the future. You take in each day as it is and do what's necessary to you.

If that's your definition of living, then it's all pretty simple. The reason you suffer so much in your life has little to do with your circumstances and more to do with the way you think about yourself and the world around you. If you try to understand those things, then you won't feel trapped and lost as you do, and you can live life fully.

Boo fucking hoo
welcome to real life

There's an email box that self destructs after 10 minutes. Could email me there (:
[email protected]

The system doesnt work that way here. This is a very very boring country with very few things for students. It's a haven for the elderly or children but it's one of the most boring places for teens. Clubs really don't exist and most frendships are through connections.

I think im alright at persevering despite things. That's how I was raised I suppose.

Also there's evidence that willpower is an exhaustable source. It's much better to just track everything and let yourself off when you are really bad because we are only human after all. No point beating yourself up when you're just really down.

iit's hard to be in the present moment when you hate your present lfie. But I get where you're coming from

>
ive got whatsapp if you use that. phone number and such.

I'm just weird about who I talk to online. No offense but if I don't really email aside from for school/important business, and if I downloaded whatsapp I'd probably never hop on, just being honest. I just like to be present and in the moment with the people in my personal life.
What country are you from though if you don't mind me asking? Just curious about how boring it is, eastern europe or something?

Your present life is all you have, and until you learn to accept what is, you'll always feel more dead than alive. As someone who has been in shitty circumstances, I say with full honesty that you CAN be happy and enjoy life even after the fact. Stop looking out the window and come face to face with your reality. As long as you're thinking about what could be, you'll never be able to face what is and move forward.

Okayo. I like your minimalism. I'm trying to adopt that as well atm. Meditate and stuff.
Just a bit of a shame that if we fall out of contact here we will actually never meet again.

Switzerland. absolutely anal about everything. so strict. They just don't want me here lol. Never been in a more xenophobic country in my life. But I'll show them.

can't you just move? i know a swiss guy that moved to my shithole third world country and he's loving it

I've learned to accept a lot in my life, truly a lot. I've learned to move past a lot and forgive a lot of things in the past.
It's just so hard to be present in something that causes pain and not turn away my head instead and distract. It's hard knowing there's very little you can do to fix your situation and be painfully aware. It's like constantly reopening a scab.

just move LOL xd. im not swiss. Im moving out of a third world country to switzerland. To provide for my family. I've lived in too many good places now to be able to go back and settle down there worrying about being shanked every fucking day or being kidnapped for human trafficking.
I just want an average 6k salary and muh 30 an hour for minimum wage.
Why would I move back?

I chose the wrong career (granted at 14) and am paying for my mistakes lol.

As long as focus on your self improvement and don't give up, you'll always be able to think back to the people who contributed to your success, even if it's a nameless user. If you knew me irl some of that splendor would wear off, I have shitty qualities too lmao.

But I gotcha on the Switzerland. It's just a rough time to be an immigrant in western Europe right now. Nobody personally hates you, it's just that multiculturalism is masqueraded as this beautiful concept of openly accepting and loving everybody, and most people are inherently good, but when you flood them into these countries, the natives feel under attack, especially when you have the unfortunate bad eggs raping and murdering. The ultimate goal should be for immigrants to assimilate to the best of their ability, work hard to acquire knowledge and skill, and then return home to spread your wealth and knowledge and improve your homeland, but what do I know, I haven't been in your shoes. I get it if your homeland is genuinely unsafe. As an American I just have such an incredibly weird feeling about multiculturalism because I know that western countries have been responsible for a lot of the peril in third world countries that causes mass immigration.

>Why would I move back?
because you're unhappy?

but my mom is a diplomat LOL and I've literally only ever done well. She came here for work dropped me off once I was 18 and left. I literally am always top of class. have full paid scholarship. No criminal record at all. Im more of an asset to this country than most of their fucking massively depressed leeches of citizens. Granted Im depressed too but I get up every fucking day and do my best in work regardless. Im not entitled to cry and say im depressed and expect anything for it as they do. They get a pat on the head for saying they're a bit upset. Can't work sundays btw sorry. unemployments pays 80% of the previous salary btw. you can choose your schedule you snowflake. can work 3 days a week if you want honey and still gte 4k.

Living in america it was about meritocracy. The people that deserved came up on top. I lived and learned under that philosophy. I got rewarded for doing well. Here Im trash if I do well or not. Here I'm clumped up with the rest of the immigrants and honestly it makes me so angry.

The problem is that the powers that be want to sow division in the world. When things start looking up, when it looks like the golden age is about to kick in and the people are going to rally together, the global banking system has to re-establish its dominance.
I genuinely can't imagine what it's like going through those feelings knowing how people think of you without even knowing you, especially when you're far more qualified than most.
If people learned to love their enemies they'd know that we're not nearly as different as many seem to think. We all in essence just want to live the good life.
Having a diplomat for a mother though, I can see how that would make it an interesting situation.

Just have had a shit childhood and quite a shit currnt situation. It's hard to recover from that.
I just feel like I can't ever get a break.

That's how its been for me
I've had nothing but financial situation after financial situation come up for the past few years and it has put me in debt. I was honestly living like a slave before I turned my life around.
I still have debt, but I'm not a slave to it anymore. I live and breathe without worrying about the debt that I carry because I know that, even if more stuff comes up, with determination and effective budgeting, I can make it out on the other side in the positive.
I jump from one shit show to the next, for some people it would be devastating, for me, it has become life. I've paid over 7 grand in dental work the past few years, a couple years back my car was totaled by a drunk driver, and I got fucked over hard by a roommate and had to pay for a 2 bedroom apartment by myself while attempting to climb out of debt from the teeth and car. I shut the fuck down for a bit, I started smoking weed that I couldn't afford because the stress was starting to fucking kill me. I have a few stress triggered conditions and my body was out of whack. It was seriously dangerous levels of stress and I couldn't seem to find healthier ways to lower my stress, so I fell back on weed. But in the end, the roommate situation was a blessing in disguise. They never took him off the lease so when it came time for the lease to get renewed, there was a lapse where I didn't get renewed for another year contract. I thought it was too late too move out, but after being switched to month to month I was able to simply give them my 30 weeks notice and I moved back home with my dad, where I've been paying off debt and endlessly working on my self improvement ever since. I'm enrolled in school and studying psychology now.

30 days* notice
but yea, just take solace not in where you've been, but where you will go. Dwelling on the past is important only for growing purposes, you've got such a promising and bright future ahead of you

Im glad it's gotten better for you. Good for you for holding out despite everything.
I wanted to do psychology. I think that would have been a nice job for me. My greatest skill I think is seeing how people really are from just the few hints they give out but try not to show. I guess a diplomat mom helps.
How do you find your lessons?

Believe it or not, all of my self improvement notes and tips have come from none other than Jow Forums.
/SIG/ threads helped save my life
If you ever see a self improvement general thread, they're typically filled with uplifting people and lots of links with pages of awesome information
I never thought I'd say that Jow Forums would be the driving force in my dating life, I simply was too scared to talk to women before I took the time to learn about myself.
github.com/bibanon/bibanon/wiki/The-Return-of-the-Well-Cultured-Anonymous
yourcoach.be/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Dale-Carnegie-How-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.pdf
bookofpook.neocities.org/
These are just a few of the links that have helped me, not sure if bookofpook would do much for you as it's directed towards men.

That's surprising. I rarely get to meet people I genuinely enjoy on Jow Forums. xd
I've never heard of sig. Didn't realise that was a thing.
Never had a problem with dating really. I'd actually like to take a break from it someday. But I love my partner way too much. Still suffocating to think I'll be with them forever.

Sorry, I've got so much work to do before tomorrow. It's a shame. I'd love to talk more

what the fuck are sig threads help me

>I've been depressed for quite a while because everything I do in life doesn't corrspond to what I want.

Congratulations! You're an adult!

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I dont think it has to be that way. life is not meant to be lived in misery.
At least I should be happy in interpersonal relationships.

ostensibly your "apprenticeship" is a gateway to a better standard of living or at least better working conditions. at worst, your current conditions represent a transient adoration from what should be a better more permanent norm in the future. But the going camping and fucking rando dudes is fun, i fucked lotsa chicks like that when i was younger, do that before you get too old to have those experiences.

>adoration
aberration*

Self Improvement General

And it's been fun, it's been real

where do i find self improvement general? :(