Is it bad to stay alone

OP here. What am I suppose to do? people keep telling that. It makes me feel bad

>What am I suppose to do?
Find a woman.

Because others say I should?

You need to make this decision to be alone yourself. It's completely up to you. If this is what you decide, you're at peace with it, or you meet someone who you go crazy for and they change your mind. Someone who you think is 100% worth commiting yourself to. It's a beautiful thing. There are good women out there, and even though you may not believe it, it's actually true. They're just very rare.

Here's what I'm guessing about you. Nobody wants to be alone. You may in your "heart of hearts" as they say be kind of afraid of being lonely and want to accept it so you can get over it quicker and move on with your life. By the time you're older, you already know you're going to be alone so you want to spare yourself from the hurt of disappointment in love. Is this true whatsoever?

It's ok to take some time off of dating and relationships for a while if you're simply not feeling like it. But don't rule yourself out of the dating scene for the rest of your life.

Always keep your eyes open for that one girl who is worth your commitment.

I’ve had one girlfriend before, it was nice at the time. But I don’t all of the emotions. It’s confusing and I don’t like it. So I think it would be in my best interests regarding the future to keep distance from all of these things. I like girls, but I can’t do this

It's fine, if you're alone you can do whatever the fuck you want. It can be exhausting and frustrating to make enough space for someone else in your life. It can be nice to be with someone but it comes with a ton of inconvenients.

Live alone if you feel fine doing so, look for someone when you want company, and if you can't find anything wothwhile, you won't be missing out that much.

Sounds to me like your ex girlfriend simply wasn't the right girl for you. If you meet a girl who is compatible with you, dealing with all the emotional shit is worth it.

>don't care for relationships when I'm a teenager
>"it's ok user you're a late bloomer"
>don't care for relationships in my twenties
>"what the fuck is wrong with you user you should find a girlfriend"
Jesus I just want to be alone
People stress me out with this shit and now it's making me feel bad even though I don't give a fuck about women outside of fap material

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>look for someone when you want company
But sleeping around is degenerate

No, she was very good. She was low drama. But I get too emotional. We broke up only because things didn’t work out. I had to move for my career and she was too invested in her career to move.

Most of my emotional torment comes not from being alone, but from people saying/implying there's something wrong with being alone.
It took me a while to figure that out

Same. I’m in my late twenties and everyone’s telling me to get a gf. I told one person I don’t want one and they said “trust me. Don’t ruin your future. You’ll be a sad fuck if you miss your chance”

Too much fucking pressure

If you're choosing to go that way, there's nothing wrong with it, user. Focus on your career, ignore the distractions.

What makes it difficult is when people say “you’re making a huge mistake. You’re almost in your thirties and you NEED to find a nice girl soon before it’s too late. Otherwise you’ll end up alOne and full of regret” they put on lots of pressure. When I say I think I should be alone, they say I’m wrong and I’m going to regret it

You need sex. Don't ignore this.

But relationships are a lot of work and bullshit, with occasional joy.

> been married 5 years

>youll be a sad fuck if you dont have one
jesus, whoever told you that is pathetic. dont worry you're not missing out on too much.

No.

alright, but why

Assuming you had at least some experience in those fields, then I don't see anything wrong with it. As long as you are not just settling for being alone because you can't get any.

Humans need physical contact with other humans. If you get that from friends and family, then you should be fine.

>Assuming you had at least some experience in those fields
Why
I never wanted that shit, masturbation was always enough. Someday I'm probably going to get a whore just to know if I'm missing out on much, but I don't feel the need or drive to go out and talk to girls. Too much effort for what I'd be getting out of it
I say this to my peers and they act like I personally insulted them

Well, sounds like you can't really judge if it is worth it since you never had it. At least try it before you condemn it. If you don't like it then you can go back to being alone.

yeah its like i always say dont knock it till you try it
although what if you dont want it and also cant get it even if you tried, whats your input on that

>and also cant get it even if you tried, whats your input on that
Would depend on the reasons why can't get it.

And if you tried it more than once. Most guys (I assume you are a guy) who are not highly attractive get rejected many times.

Of course not, user. That's how Tesla did it, and look what amazing things came from that. Not that you should feel pressured to achieve 'great' things. Only you can know what makes you feel like you've had a life well-lived.

I’ve had a few people say similar things to that, girls and guys both. But yeah someone did say i’d Be a sad fuck when I’m 40-50 and alone because I missed my young years

>you need sex
Why? I haven’t had a 7 year dry spell, it didn’t kill me.
I have a few friends that I see once every 4-5 months

>I have a few friends that I see once every 4-5 months
Well that's not good. Get a dog or a cat at least.

I would like to get a cat, but I’m away from home far too much for work to have a pet

There's nothing wrong with being a schizoid

You might go mental, good luck.

yes its called being 45 and alone

Tell me, what drives you in life? Do you want a good job, why? Money? To buy what? A single man living alone can survive on a pittance even if he indulges. You dont sound the type to want to take copious amounts of drugs, drink excessively or hire prostitutes either, though, perhaps im wrong. In which case money is of little value.
Would you want a big house: a huge house which you could devote to endlessly dusting its empty corridors?
I eat out probably 6 times a week (out of laziness) and live very comfortably in a nice city flat for less than £12,000 a year because I dont party, dont smoke, dont drink and my hobbies are inexpensive - a man doesnt need a good job to live comfotably.

A man must have some sort of purpose. For most people it is nothing more than finding a spouse and having a family. Unless you find something then you might as well die and save yourself the pain of living.

Wait.. what? Why?

I don’t smoke, drink, hire prostitutes, or do drugs.

>purpose having spouse and family
Well, I can’t have kids. That would mentally break me.

>a man doesnt need a good job to live comfotably
not that guy but I realised this as soon as I started working. that's why it's so hard for me to pursue a career. what for? even if I had a girlfriend, shouldn't she be able to provide for herself? wouldn't she be a leech otherwise? and I don't want kids.
but I realise that deep inside, everything we men do is to some degree for the purpose of attracting women, and even when we have genuine interests, it's hard to draw the line. I'm a incel, but losing hope of getting into a meaningful relationship would make everything else pointless. any achievement would seem like masturbation to my own eyes. yet everyday I'm growing more and more skeptic about love (even though my parents are happily married) and even becoming a misoginist.

sorry for this disjointed rant.

Touch Deprivation and social isolation cause a whole bunch of mental disorders ranging from depression to anxiety disorders to the inability to parse social cues. Plus a weakened immune system.

People can live without being touched

What you described is basically word for word the definition of "Schizoid"

>Schizoid personality disorder is a pattern of indifference to social relationships, with a limited range of emotional expression and experience. The disorder manifests itself by early adulthood through social and emotional detachments that prevent people from having close relationships. People with it are able to function in everyday life, but will not develop meaningful relationships with others. They are typically loners and may be prone to excessive daydreaming as well as forming attachments to animals. They may do well at solitary jobs others would find intolerable. There is evidence indicating the disorder may be the start of schizophrenia, or just a very mild form of it. People with schizoid personality disorder are in touch with reality unless they develop schizophrenia.

Just do what makes you happy and try to not care about other people. If what you do doesn't directly affect them too much and in a negative way then it shouldn't matter.

I didn't say it would kill you

you havent addressed the greater issue though
why are you bothering with anything? Hedonism? If that is your disposition then pursue it - it is, at least, something to persue.
However, if you arent a hedonist and neither do you want a spouse then why even bother living? Why suffer the tribulations of the day at all? You cannot simply be - such utter nihilism will destroy you as a person and will plunge you into abject despair even if you dont realise it yet.
Devote yourself to God. Devote yourself to an ideological cause. Devote yourself to anything but do not simply subsist.

I was a dreadful nihilistic misanthrope until I clawed out of that pit. Now Im quite well to do. However, had I not resolved to find something to care about I think i would've died.
This is probably not the place nor the time to preach it but why do you not want kids? You already realise monetary concerns are paradoxical for the only reason to seek money would be for their sake. Clearly, you are not in a sound place in your life: fix this and your attitude towards children will likely change. After all, its biologically hardwired in us to make babies.

But I get along well with co-workers

Everything is pro and con. Some lifestyles just don't cater to having a relationship. If you like having a lot of free time, listening to whatever music you want, exploring your hobbies, advancing your career, etc you don't need a women. It would just be a nusance to have one. There is nothing wrong with this; it's just society tells you otherwise. Newtown and Tesla states virgins purely because relationships would not fit to their lifestyle. It's up to you and you should not feel pressured if people say otherwise. Many other things in life are more pleasurable and rewarding than sex and relationships.

>People with it are able to function in everyday life, but will not develop meaningful relationships with others.

My eyes got wide when I read this because that sounds a lot like me. I googled it too and it said “unable to accept praise” which sounds a lot like me for fucking sure.

>Tesla states virgins purely because relationships would not fit to their lifestyle
What? Is there really proof Tesla intentionally hires virgins? That sounds like a discrimination lawsuit

thats a me

Well, Jow Forums attracts a lot of schizoids and people with social/agora phobia. So consider yourself in good company.

It depends. Up until about 26 I was never interested in sex or relationships, then it just awoke in me, i'm 28 now and I find it difficult to find people.. Everyone thinks there is something wrong with you and it's hard to get women to give you a chance.

Will this be a problem in my future? I don’t know anything about brain disorders. I don’t want to go crazy

Oh man I have been struggling with this for half a decade starting at 20. How do I cope with this? Is there a way to cope with this?

>For most people it is nothing more than finding a spouse and having a family.
Wonderful, a life of suburban mediocrity and labor. How could anyone possibly find fault in it?

>Wonderful, a life of suburban mediocrity and labor. How could anyone possibly find fault in it?
Most people is not all people user.
Furthermore, you can raise a family outside of that environment. Though, Im not american.
Mediocrity is not mandated for this either. Every great man had parents and many lived to see them accomplish great things. At 23 I already know its very doubtful Ill do anything of note - I havent the foundations - but my children may be different. Its doubtful they'll amount to much either but the sum of them will be more than myself.

Yawn.

I’m not OP, but I basically feel the same way. Women are sexually attractive, but bringing one home is more trouble than it’s worth these days, and even though I have interested women, I know it’s going to turn into heartbreak for me, heartbreak for them, or a disastrous divorce. Forcing my way into “finding a woman” or “having babies” has barely any winning ends besides setting up barriers in my life for... reasons.

I’m sure there’s some chemical or physical reactions I’m maybe missing out on, but life is pointless and I’d rather not make it harder on myself. I work because I have to, I live because there’s some neat things to see - and I’d disappoint friends and some limited family if I died.

>The sum of two people wasting their lives away in an office cubicle is greater than me wasting my life away in an office cubicle.

Fucking ridiculous logic.

Its not bad. But there is someone out there for u..so why not try and find them. They will be upset

in a dry economic sense it absolutely is but you neglected the latter part of my post.
I am not going to be a famous artist. It simply is not going to happen. However, there is a chance my child might be. To that end, bringing more children into the world outright increases the odds of greatness. The same is true of however you would define a worthwhile life. Since a life cannot have negative worth having more kids can only create value.
How would you define a good life?
>I work because I have to, I live because there’s some neat things to see - and I’d disappoint friends and some limited family if I died.
sounds awful desu.
Enjoy your time; im sure you wont unless your outlook changes or is insincere.
Being 40 with no spouse, kids or anything to care about must be something to look forward to.

More children means more failed losers. I’m sorry user, dealing with lives isn’t a fucking lottery ticket purchase, and the world is worse off for people like you that think that it is. How awful it is that you can’t have the foresight to realize that your kids aren’t going to be special, and that you probably won’t be around to see it anyways.

Don’t get me wrong here - if you are a passionate parent, prepared for kids, and want to have them, go for it. I’ll applaud you. But don’t try to convince a person that their unhappiness with life will suddenly disappear because they forced themselves to get married to someone they don’t really like all that much, and to have kids they’re not ready to raise.

I might be 40 and alone, but I won’t be pretending I give a shit about a fat wife or my kids with C+ grades, while I accept I can never, ever leave my job or risk losing it all.

As a single guy, I have the wonderful reward of being able to make all of my own choices, and do what I want when I want.

>you can’t have the foresight to realize that your kids aren’t going to be special
"Its doubtful they'll amount to much either"
>you probably won’t be around to see it anyways.
I didnt know I was going to die in my 40s. Thanks for letting me know.
>More children means more failed losers
Id ask you to define this but i suspect the definition is simply "almost everyone"
>dealing with lives isnt a fucking lottery ticket
Ah, so youre some sort of hard eugenicist? Or maybe a hard marxist who sees no prospects for education today.
Most geniuses parents werent geniuses. It very much is, in a sense, a lottery.
>the world is worse off for people like you that think that it is
care to say why? Because the poor negroes are starving? Because of depleting fossil fuels? If I had a dozen children and one became a farmer theyd produce more food than 3 generations of my family. New energy wont invent itself either.
> Ill applaud you
and then you contradict yourself.
>dont try to convince a person that their unhappiness will suddenly disappear because they forced themselves to get married and have kids
Its almost as if I said "most" and explicitly pointed out that not everyone is suited to this. I also never avocated doing these things badly. Becoming a good parent is a goal and an ambition in itself not some panacea for your problems. It gives you a reason to work and do things: this is the entire reason i brought it up.
> I wont be pretending I give a shit about a fat wife or my kids with C grades
failing at this goal is not the same as accomplishing it. If your children cannot get an A in the miserable school system of today then they arent working and youre failing. If your wife is fat and useless then youre a failed husband she doesnt love.
>As a single guy, I do what I want when I want
and yet why bother? Why do anything? Shallow hedonism? If that is what you want then that is sufficient: something i also explicitly said.
I swear, do people even read posts?

no, but it might get old and you might regret it