I started chatting online with this girl a month ago. We have a lot in common and now we basically flirt all day...

I started chatting online with this girl a month ago. We have a lot in common and now we basically flirt all day. I did her a big favor, and she reacted in a really moving and heartfelt way.

However, she often says that love is overrated and it does not interest her. When I suggest to visit her in her town or to just have a phone call (we live far apart), she avoids the topic or she says she's too busy now.

Maybe I should just give up on her. However, I am hooked by the way she flirts with me. She also seems to care about me. I am receiving very contrasting signals. Once she said that she might not be my type. I replied that I might not be her type as well, but that we can't know for sure if we don't meet, first. She said that I was correct.

Is there anything I could say or do to see if she's genuinely interested (and maybe too shy/cautious about it), or if she's just keeping me as a harmless pastime?

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What favor/what'd she do? That might help you figure it out.

Or you could keep like talking like that with her while avoiding things that won't do with her. It may eventually come later, but this will mean you have to keep in touch with her frequently as possible to increase your chances.

From experience, if you're gonna fall in love, you should avoid this type of girl like the plague.
However, if you're fine just flirting and that's all, you're fine keeping things the way they are.

Worst case scenario, nothing happens. Best case scenario, she falls in love with you eventually and there's that.
She already shot you down tbf

I helped her find a little job. She wrote me a really moving message, that summarized our little "story" together in a wonderful, almost loving way.

She just said that she doesnt' like phone calls... What the...?

Ever hear of the term "Catfish"?

Cute larp, but I've already seen this one. Its gonna end with you getting scammed by some Indian prince right?

Bump. I could really use some more advice. Now she's asking me to help her with the paperwork for her job. It's not a big deal, but... Why wouldn't she meet me at least, if she's so grateful as she says? Ok, I did not help her to have something in return. In fact, I don't expect her to like me for this. But why don't I deserve at least a clear answer? Like: I don't want to meet you, nothing personal, I just want to chat. I'd be fine with that. Instead, she keeps leading me on, with her "who knows", "maybe someday", "I dunno"...

I don't think this is the case... I just think she likes my personality, she likes to chat with me, but I am just not her type. She might not like my face, and that's all. However, she doesn't want me to leave because I entertain her, so she leads me on. What can I do? I cannot say "I want to have a relationship with you": I need to meet her, at least. I could never fall in love with someone I have never met. So, I can't make a move because, without a meeting, I don't want to, and she doesn't allow me to bring the whole situation on a new level.

>I could never fall in love with someone I have never met
I suggest you drop it. It sounds like she doesn’t want to meet nor does she want a relationship so just talk to her as a friend. In this case, “maybe” most likely means “no”.

Yeah, I think so... It's really a shame, you know? We have so much in common. And I mean it. She's the kind of girl I'd like to have around everyday. It really sounded like it could work. It's unlikely I'd find anyone like her again.

Even you yourself know that this online stuff doesn’t mean as much as real life interactions. Yet you’re saying things like I’d like to have her around every day” and “I’ll never find someone like her again.” I think you just need time for your emotions to cool down so you can look at this logically

Sure. It was just someone great to talk to.

I hope you find that again. I understand that it’s difficult. I’ve been in similar situations but always on the other end. It may be hard for her too

maybe she has a boyfriend. seems simple enough.

One last thing. I'd like to hear your opinion on a chat we have just had.

I used a certain topic we were discussing to make a compliment about her appearance. She had a kind of embarassed/playful reaction, commenting that she's no Megan Fox.

I commented back that I don't like Megan Fox, and that I'm no George Clooney for sure.

She replied that she doesn't like Clooney... So, I joked that I can still have hopes, then.

She called me an idiot, after that; then she changed topic and everything went on like nothing happened. The mood was good, when our chat ended.

What do you think?

That’s cute. Playful flirting. It doesn’t sound like anything bad, even though she called you an idiot

That's right, playful flirting. We are like that all day. That's why I can't let her go... And I don't get why she is avoiding the topic of my visit to her town.

I don't get if her calling me an idiot was like "You are so silly, I like you already", or "Don't be dumb, we are just friends", though.

This is unlikely: that "heartfelt" thank you message I mentioned earlier was publicly posted... Ok, it wasn't like a true love letter, but it's not something a boyfriend would like to read.

She doesn’t want you to visit for some reason. Maybe anxiety/thinking it over, maybe just not interested. It would be nice if she told you straight

While having a very nice chat with me, about how much she is grateful for my help, she said that she thinks it's "too early" to say that we really know each other. It seems she needs a longer time before she can trust me (and before she can be sure that I really understood her personality).

(Why avoiding to meet me, then...!?)

Seriously? We're channers. We're not trustworthy. Watch this

Watch your ass if you keep pursuing this girl it might end bad.

You have to stop asking why and ask "what would be best."

Follow your heart.

What? It sounds like they get along great. Who cares if you know each other, you have the rest of your lives to get to know each other. A love like this doesn't just drop into anyone's lap any day, you know. You better make the best of this OP. Some of us can't even get a girl to look at us. Would kill to be in your position.

Thanks, She really sounds like a unique girl.

However, I am worried because of her attitude about meeting. If I am intrigued by a girl, I'd want to meet her in person quite soon. The point is exactly this: I can't say I know you, if all we do is chatting online, so let's try to meet and see what happens. It might boost the relationship, it might sink it, but in any case it would be for the better.

Instead, her point of view seems to be: I don't know you, so I don't want to meet you (until I know you better, maybe).

The problem is: you would never know me; if we don't meet at least once... I'll stay a stranger.

It's been a month, and I really don't know how much more chatting would make her feel that she can "dare" a meeting...

What would you do?

Ask her if she’s serious about meeting and how she feels about it all. You don’t want to let her lead you on forever.

I already did that. She dodges the question, or she says that she can't answer for now, because she is having troubles with her family and job, so she can't know when she will be free. She implied that we will meet someday, but not now.