ITT: Ask The Opposite Gender Anything

Yeah I think it's just cope
I'm going to kill myself soon so it doesn't matter

I'm 28, my girlfriend will be 19 in a few months. We just hit it off. And I'm the first man she's dated that hasn't treated her poorly or abused her, so it's just been a whirlwind of emotions. We went out on more dates in two weeks than most "couples" would in two or three months.

>tfw this sound eerily like my situation but in reverse
If it's fate, let me ask. Did I show up in class today?

You don't see them because they don't come hang out around people their individual ages. The 30something guy would have a tough time fitting in with her 20something friends, and she would not fit in around his 30something friends.

Couples like this are everywhere.

It's your perception and the fact that those couples tend not to have groups of friends that mix well.

t. 33 and get dates with 20-24s all the time. Younger women like guys that can speak from experience and have the confidence that only age and maturity can bring. It's a very real thing.

What age doesn't fix is that having no confidence, low self-esteem, or complexes is unattractive. Maybe being a little older helps cover some of it up, but if you can't talk to girls, if you can't ask girls out, etc. you'll find it just as hard as it was in your 20s.

Ladies how does it feel benefitting from thousands of years of social engineering and conditioning in order to put you at a place of privilege without having to admit that you are privileged?

>I mean its not like she's going anywhere, shit isn't as urgent as online dating
Actually, it's just as urgent as online dating, if only because waiting too long will result (as seems to have happened to you) in you building up the girl in your head, falling for her sight unseen, or worse, becoming obsessed.

My favorite gimmick is to chat in person (or text if you can comfortably do it), have to go do something, and then set up a coffee date for later in the week. Literally partway through an engaging conversation:
>Oh hey, I've got to go take care of something. I've enjoyed talking about quantum mechanics with you. We should talk more about this another time. How about we get coffee on Wednesday?

"cope" and "wizard" are the Jow Forums narratives. Age gaps of 5-15 years are ROUTINE in the real world. There are a lot of girls who flat out will not date men the same age as them.

Don't entertain that sperglord.

I'm facing a similar problem. I've got a girl that I actually know is into me (we dated previously and she continued to pursue me after we stopped), and I've come around for her... but all of a sudden I'm tonguetied when it comes to texting her. Like I just need to say "Hey" or maybe a little something more, but I just can't fucking do it. I lock up, I avoid, etc. Before I know it, the day's gone. I keep making excuses.

Why would a girl who rejected and ignored me come back to me and start talking to me like nothing happened?

Because she thinks you're over her by now and might want to be regular friends again.

I don't think you're in any of my other classes except maybe to the lecture that ties into the lab, and I didn't have that lecture today so I'm afraid I'm not your man.

Go fuck yourself.

boy is she wrong

Calm down, user. It's only an online imageboard.

Pls no, user-kun!

Women, if you know a guy from a meetup group that does an activity (i.e. sports or hiking), would him asking to do that activity with you outside the group be a bad first date idea?

Is becoming a wizard even a thing? Why there's no sorceresses, then?

They exist. They just don't come here.

Damn, that would've been really cool. I accidentally slept in today, that's why I asked. I doubt he likes me at all even though he makes me want to be better as a student. One of, if not THE smartest guy in class, really warm personality. I used to be an all A's student but college, work, and family have not been kind to me. He makes me want to be a good student again.

Wish you the best for your lab partner, it's a tired out pun but I hope you two form some chemistry. As a dumb roastie nerd I've been trying to step up my studying and fashion game in hopes something between us clicks. I don't want to be too obvious too quickly but I'm also making small efforts to be more flirty over time. Maybe you'll see small changes like that if she's into you.

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No, seems fine. Bear in mind the comfort levels of continuing meetup activity in the group if you're rejected however.

I may just either texting her tomorrow after seeing a movie with her and friends and at the end of the convo I’ll ask if she’s doing anything next week or I’ll ask her tonight.

women: how do I sort through all the whores

The couples with a 5 year age gap are 18% more likely to get divorced, 10 years are 39% more likely, and 20 years gets you nearly double the divorce rate of same age couples. It's not as common as Jow Forums wants to believe, and it's increasingly rare.

Hey. your guy sounds a lot like me! (though I don't know if I'm THE smartest guy in class). I helped her out with the math portions as I'm a math major, and she helped me keep straight with the experiments as I'm a lazy fuck who doesn't like to read the directions thoroughly. She's also a lot more mature than most people I've met in college (we both took breaks) and it's really refreshing.
>I hope you two form some chemistry.
Funny, it's actually a chemistry lab. We only really met last week, so if there is any changes, it will be next week when I have lab again.

Good luck on your end though. If he is anything like me, he really admires effort.

>I may just either texting her tomorrow after seeing a movie with her and friends and at the end of the convo I’ll ask if she’s doing anything next week or I’ll ask her tonight.
Try to chat with her a bit after the movie, just talk, not anything pushy or deliberate flirting (i.e., go with the flow). You can use the interrupted conversation technique I describe above to segue that movie conversation into a texting conversation as well. So it seems more natural that you're texting about random shit.

can a 30 year old guy genuinely love a 22 year old who loves him?

Dear Women,

Is it really cringe to see a picture on dating website of a guy working out? Its not a bathroom pic at the very least.

I see lots of women doing it and I dont think its cringe.

I still think about my ex when Im fucking other girls. It has been one month since I found her cheating on me but her body is still so fucking attractive. Or maybe its the idea of her body.
Conviced one of the girls to get her nips pierced (ex has nipple piercings). I feel like a piece of shit

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Yes.

Pretty much every dating profile pic is cringe to some extent. The posing shirtless with a tiger, for example, is a common one. Or riding a horse shirtless. Very common.

That they're cringey doesn't change the fact that they work.

at the gym with weights yes

doing an activity like parkour or hiking no

We've been on one date, we've got another planned for Saturday, and now she's texted me saying she wants to go to an amusement park, but she didn't specifically say she wanted to go with me. Is that a way of implying she wants to go with me?

Not sure why I would be shirtless hiking but ok

agree - the whole online dating scene is cringe tier

shirtless is cringe. that's your problem.
it says "I'm an insecure fuckboi"

doing an activity says "I'm physically active and have a personality"

and then you can talk about it

Almost certainly. I'd say 90% she's saying she wants you to take her, 10% she is trying to cancel so she can go with other people. It all depends on what she said. So you should clarify whether your plans are changing.

In particular, figure out whether YOU want to change your plans. In my case, I might not want to go to an amusement park just because she suddenly wants to do that. This girl I used to see would pull that shit. We'd have a date set up and midweek she'd mention "Oh hey, there's X event up in Y neighborhood that day, we can go see that as well!" She was very much into the eight-hour marathon date.

Im a female whose fiance is 11 years older, I distantly know someone (like theres no reason we should know each other, it isnt confirmation bias due to my friendgroups or environment just promoting seeing more women like myself) who is a 19 year old married to a 30 year old.

The people saying they just dont see this around might not notice these relationships, but theyre not uncommon at all - they are quieter and more hidden though. Keep in mind that a lot of people have a somewhat negative view of it, a lot of people have a VERY negative view of it. These relationships dont really get to be super bubbly and open with everyone about how happy they are together, instead usually they need to try and justify themselves to friends and family. You also might see older guys and girls together frequently but just not register them as a couple.

working out in your home gym is not an activity?

I think she still wants to go on our original date. Honestly, I would like to go to the amusement park with her, but I would rather put it off for a week or two. Would it be weird to say something like, "I'll go with you, but not until next week" or some such? Remember, she just said she wanted to go to the amusement park, she never implied that she wants to go with me.

Like shit that's wrong should be stopped. The bias against fathers shouldnt exist and should be fought against. Alimony is dumb. The idea of child support might not be a bad thing for certain specific situations, but right now its mega dumb. A lot of cultural ideas we have, both related to men and women and ideas that have nothing to do with the sexes, are dumb. A lot of this shit isnt stuff that necessarily needs to be experienced or used by women either.

Do you feel guilty or personally responsible for all the things in society you disagree with that are the result of actions taken by men who died thousands of years ago?

I was going to write a sarcastic comment, but Im just going to tell you yes, you can love her, why the fuck wouldnt you be able to?
God its fucking sickening what pearl clutching puritans have done to our brains

My physics teacher in high school (female) married someone 20 years older when she was 20
She kept encouraging men in our class to "date younger girls"
The conversation in this thread got me thinking about it again, it seems to be fairly common. Do you think she was wrong to say that?

it's not interesting. all you want to convey is that you're fit makes it seem like a fitbro. it's cliche and boring. you can be hot as you want but if you aren't interesting nobody is going to wanna be around you.

and based off how this conversation is going, you are boring me with your insecurity.

>and based off how this conversation is going, you are boring me with your insecurity.

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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As long as we have deeply engrained ideas that women are more valuable than men then we will never be equal. All these mouth breathing knights "hurrr never hit a woman" or "chivalry isn't dead hurr respect women" faggots.

Considering all those benefits they died for are a thing of the past now no I don't feel guilty.

I posted here ages ago saying that I think I left a girl too long and I ended up saywhat I felt and I "asked her out" and hey hey we're going out. We've slept together (not done anything and I haven't kissed her yet either) and I just can't sleep, and neither can she. Should I just say "I'm gonna try and get some sleep" and stop hugging her sort of thing?
Girls how do you handle sleeping with a guy and what works best for you?

PS she's coming over to my house early next week and I have no idea what to do.

She also kept trying to hook my 18 year old classmate up with a 13 year old.
Ladies can you explain this?

She should be in a loonie bin just forget anything she has said she's mental

>it seems to be fairly common.
Alright I'm gonna use you post to discuss this, sorry. I just graphed it, and based on the 2013 US census, 33% of married couples have a gap of less than a year, 60% are less than 3 years apart, and 77% are within 5 years of each other.
Less than 10% of married couples are more than 9 years apart. That's about the same as interracial marriages. It's not very common.
I think this is to do with the fact that Jow Forums attracts certain types of people, many of whom don't have very traditional social lives and therefore less likely to meet someone in their age group. They may also have different values when compared to the general population, values that men in their age group don't share.
I can explain how to read this graph if anyone's lost.

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Did she actually say she wants to go this Saturday? If not, my response would be "Ooh that sounds fun, let's go in a couple weeks!" So you're not rejecting her, you're just being dense about the fact that she wanted to go right now.

>Did she actually say she wants to go this Saturday?
Yes.

So 9% of couples have an age gap of at least 9 years? That's hardly uncommon, let alone rare.

Argh. You can still go for "How about we do that in a week or two?" Best I can suggest. Be a man and don't do what you don't want to do. It's girl repellant when you cave on every little thing.

That's why I said the thing about interracial marriages. They're 8.4% of the population (as of 2010) but they're hardly visible, and Jow Forums also likes to pretend there's some kind of "epidemic" of those going on.

I'm going to try dominating my girlfriend soon, and I have in the past, but I always struggle with the "character" of who I'm being in that space. Call me a SJW/faggot/whatever, but I don't like misogyny in my domination. I punish troublemakers, not women, if that makes sense?

Anyway, women and men here who have experience domming/being dommed, what can help me get in a dom mindset, but one that I find acceptable? What archetypes?

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Just channel your vague hatred of women. You're on Jow Forums, don't pretend not to have that.

She specifically is definitely a pedo and shouldnt be taken as an example for or against age gaps in genuine relationships with non-insane people

misogyny is baked into society, so you're right in that I do have some, but I try not to encourage that in myself.

10-15% of people having a gap around 5 or greater than 5 years isn't "uncommon." That's a huge amount of people.

Also realize that the line at which you separate *this* group of marriages from the rest based on how many years apart the couple has is arbitrary. If you looked at how many couples have an age gap of 1 year separately then you did 2 years and separately than you did 3 years...If you treated each different number of years apart as unique things rather than arbitrarily grouping marriages over 5 years gap and pitting that against marriages under 5 years gap, marriages with age gap wouldnt seem strange at all.

I dont have these ideas ingrained and specifically espouse these ideas to be untrue in my life.

Im not talking about just social benefits. Weekends, working toilets, chocolate bars, etc. Everything we used can be traced back to tragedy and horror. We shouldnt spend our time giving a fuck.

>misogyny is baked into society
Ok now I'm gonna call you an sjw.
Look man, I'm no psychologist, and I don't know why women get off to that shit, but I do know that in order to get into it you have to "encourage [misogyny] in yourself."
Like she literally wants to be disrespected, and you're trying to ruspecht mah whamen. It's just not gonna work.

Misogyny and misandry exist in varying amounts depending on individual and general area.
Viewing women as lesser is not inherently baked into society at all. Viewing women as being unlike or different from men is simply viewing reality, though people can make mistakes as to what the differences really are and how severe

We’re in an advice thread. When you start calling something rare you’re effectively telling the listener that what they’re thinking might as well be impossible.

9% when you’re talking about millions of marriages is a fuckload of age gap couples. In short I’m saying that the information you are providing, while correct, is unhelpful and being presented in a misleading way. A lot of simple people post here.

I didn't split up the data that way, that's how the original dataset I found was split up. I figured it was better to leave it be then to just use a trendline or something.
But yeah I agree the way it's split up seems a little arbitrary.

I'm not particularly concerned about that. There's plenty of anons who make bullshit claims like girls in college all going for 35 year old chads while the 20 year old betas will all die virgins. If someone interprets "9/10 couples are less than 10 years apart" as "there are almost no couples with an age gap" they'll at least be close to reality then they would be if they listened to incel bullshit.

When I'm with this one girl friend of mine, she always stands by my side in groups and almost shoulder to shoulder when it's just us.

Can I take anything from this?

Oh yea I wasnt blaming you - just pointing out how its constructed to make some arbitrary grouping seem strange next to a different grouping, when any way of looking at it except by each different year number (1, 2, 3, etc) is entirely arbitrary

I have a very happy relationship with a large age gap, and especially in America there are people who would say either myself or my partner are crazy/disgusting, I feel a need to defend such relationships from being unfairly judged

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

Be a friend and if she wants more and you want more then further the relationship. Don't think about sex and maximize your potential relationship between the both of you.

How do girls feel about dudes who have their dick bulge running down their pants? My dick is pretty big and I'm pretty embarrassed when I'm not walking around in baggy pants.

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>Do girls/guys like ?
>What do girls/guys think about
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

A bit of an update, the girl I want to date didn’t come, so I’ll just text her tomorrow

I really don’t know any other way to go about this

Yeah there’s nothing else you can do. Don’t think you are so clueless as you might think. Most of dating is just following your instincts, otherwise applying friendly behavior, and boundary pushing.

To my knowledge they don't really care or notice. I have seen one post from a girl on plebbit saying that she liked to stare at guys' bulges because it was a good way to start flirting. But other than that don't worry.
Oh and grey sweatpants are apparently the exception to this. I've heard multiple times that they're "like lingerie for men" so make of that what you will.

>it was a good way to start flirting
Lmao, that had to have been a guy playing a girl.

Idk, I checked her post history and it seemed legit.

I'm the typical most common kind of guy that usually stays quiet thinking and watching instead of speaking out loud as if everything I said mattered.
If a girl is the opposite: very talkative and opens her mouth to say literally anything that pops into her mind with no fear for looking silly, does that kind of girl not like guys like me?
In other words does this kind of personality only suit someone that's just like them, for a partner?

Yeah, I'll just live and act as normal.

Loud/assertive/masculine/confident women want even louder/more assertive/more masculine/more confident men.

Oh fuck. Well that makes sense. Thanks
Is there a way I can become more loud and assertive? Or is it a personality thing you are born with? Not saying I'm supposed to but just out of curiosity.

Quiet shy girls tend to be okay with or even specifically like quiet shy guys

You are mostly born with it, but if you *really* want to change yourself you can

Fake it till you make it man. Lots of people's personalities change and develop over their lives, it's just not an instant or easy process.

Bisexual leaning gay man here. Do girls just age horribly? I find girls attractive from like 14-28, but guys still look great to me well into their 40s if they stay in shape.

Is this just a me thing? Or do girls see this too.

Girls,

I've been working with a lot of older women lately (~40+ by the looks) and I've noticed that when I look them in the eyes while I speak to them, they'll mess up their words or avoid eye contact.

Note; my whole life I've been criticized by the opposite sex in my generation for the way I look.

So if I don't look good.. why do they act like this? Do I intimidate them or something? For context's sake, I'm 21 y/o.

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Everyone sees it that way except coping older women and people who believe coping older women.
Men can still conceive kids at fucking 60, women become infertile at 40ish. Women sexually mature and finish physically growing before men do. Its just another sex difference

No its not just you. Women can't have kids past like 40 so men have evolved to find old women unattractive.

Then why does my gay brain like them?

Because you are an evolutionary defect

>gay brain
>likes women
Sounds like you're not all the way gay senpai.