I feel like I'm getting bullied at work

It's only been a week on the first ever job of my life, and everyone won't stop nagging me about how quiet I am. Last night, one rude motherfucker straight up asked if I was a virgin (I am). Not wanting to be embarrassed, I just made some shit up. I can't believe it's only been a week, and I'm feeling like this! I feel like quitting already. I'm a dude btw. What should I do? I dread going in there everytime, even more so after last night. What should I do whenever anyone starts talking about sex? Why can't ppl simply understand a quiet person?

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same here, constant fear at work, contemplating suicide at home
and you learn to live with it
that life would be "fun" is the greatest lie ever told. it generally sucks for everyone. except perhaps npc's they're not even aware of anything

What kind of job is it? They're just giving you shit to see how you respond. So far, looks like it hasn't been good.

You can be quiet, but when they give you shit, laugh it off and amplify the joke. They're trying to "haze you in" to see if you're a good fit for the team. They probably joke about that kind of shit to each other all the time.

You could even just be unapologetically honest with them, if you wanted. Maybe being a virgin isn't the area to do that in.

Don't take this shit so seriously or the real world is going to suck something awful for you.

Yikes.
If you're a week into your job and bullies are the worst thing you have to worry about then this shit is only going to get harder. Take the "new guy" abuse with a smile dude they probably just want to get to know you. They're not even really going to bully you more if you can't take a couple virgin jokes, likely it'll just become clear that you're not a good fit for the job.

hence the anxiety.
>laugh it off
>they continue the joke
>probably make their job more enjoyable by ruining yours until you resign out of sheer misery

Well at this point, that's likely what OP is looking at. OP made themselves a target by failing to respond confidently. The bullies are probably also insecure in other parts of their lives. These people are going to be OP's coworkers and if he/she can't garner their respect now, this will just run him/her out of a job because they're "sensitive".

OP what job you work?

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this is no advice you're just repeating the facts we're looking at

Good advice right here

Bump. I need all the help I can get

It doesn't sound like bullying at all. Just coworkers trying to get to know you. I was like that too.
> worked in a restaurant in the kitchen
> quiet
> coworkers, "wow user ur so quiet :DD"
> "do u have a girlfriend? :DD"
> "what kind of girls r u into?"
> Yes, no, I don't know

I work in a kitchen. I am also very introverted. The other guy who works with me is extremely shy. Maybe 20 words pass between us each day.

Can you rest the question

My dream coworker

Grow some fuckin balls.
Whats the fuckin shame in being a virgin unless your like 24+ years

Did I do the wrong thing by lying about not being a virgin?

Find somewhere else to work, preferably a place that's on the manufacturing end of things. I'm at one of those places and people don't bother me. Most of my coworkers are 40+ but that's just fine by me. I still make small talk (and yes, you need to be able to do this) and banter from time to time, but most of the time I've got earbuds in and I'm running machines, it's comfy. Only awkward thing that's happened so far is when we got bonuses and some guy asked me if I was going to take a girl out for a nice dinner with it and I started to get flustered but got saved by a bro who changed the subject.

tl;dr don't work retail and be amicable, introduce yourself to coworkers and remember their names.

Irrelevant, main thing is that you stick to one story. Going back on your word is the only wrong move. All you need to say is that you're not currently seeing anyone.

Are you a dude? Have you ever had male friends at all?

Giving each other shit is how men bond. You're copping it for being quiet because they're trying to coax you into being sociable. It's obviously not the best method to get you to come out of your shell, judging by this thread, but extroverts don't really understand that they're doing more harm than good.

You either need to learn to give as good as you get or you might as well resign yourself to being a pussy forever.

This. Stop being so sensitive.

Accuses others of being NPCs while he's the quiet one that cant take part in a normal conversation. Nice NPCing youre doing user.

If I just don't show up to work tomorrow, will they be more aggressive towards me, or will it make them go easy on me? Will they think, "man, we we're too hard on him" or what do you think they'll think?

Absolutely not. Because then you'll just be a flake, and you might get fired. Especially since you're only a week in

They're going to think you didn't go to work because you were sick or busy with personal stuff. Skipping work won't help in any way. Just go and talk to them like you're all equals, say hi, ask how they're doing, and focus on your work.

I can't do the amplify the joke thing. My brain just does not work well. No not autism just brain damage. All the coworkers who work in shop next to me are the funny guys, for a few weeks they tried to involve me but I just don't have that ability to continue joke. I feel bad for them.
:(

No, they'll think you're lazy and unreliable. A bad early impression to give. They definitely will NOT think it was because they were mean.

you're the one throwing accusations
>NPC "logic"

>What should I do?
Let your nuts hang and stop caring what unimportant people think so much
You will stop caring what they think later in life and wish you had stopped a long time ago. So you might as well start teaching yourself how to stop being so concerned with them.