The worst decision I’ve made

14 days ago I moved from Romania to Germany to study. Since my arrival I have been constantly crying because I feel extremely alienated from this culture and uni life. I’m 100% sure that Uni is not for me so I stopped attending to classes and told my parents that I will quit and go back home. They replied that they have taken a big loan without me knowing in order to support me while I study. I've never asked for this. They also warned me that if I quit and go back home I will be completely abandoned. I have no friends at home because I've regrettably wasted my time since high school on video games, being sheltered and never exposed to the real world. So I have 0 experience with jobs and 0 savings. So now my options are either suicide or embracing homelesness which will eventually lead to suicide

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What did you do the last five years of your life?

Stop being a baby and grow some nuts.

You're either gonna prove the stereotype of Romania being the armpit of Europe, or you're gonna make something of yourself. Theres nothing back there except low quality of life and low skill jobs. The migrants would love to murder you to be in your place bro, don't let them

Playing video games and going out. But for the last year I was rarely leaving home. I was helping around with anything I could tho. I have “worked” in an online game boosting site but I've spend everything I earned for a new pc and some basic needs

Just do you schoolwork, kid. It's not even real work.

How to make something out of myself when I’m forced to do something I don’t like? Take in mind that I am not motivated for any academic activities. I’m deeply depressed since day1 and don’t know what to do. I just sleep and cry in my dorm all the time. I know it is pathetic but as I said my life for the last 5 years was 95% virtual. Why would my parents take a loan and not tell me? That thing makes me extremely guilty

Also OP, it's normal to feel shitty and lost in new environment, it happens pretty much to everyone. You have to pull through and do everything you're supposed to do as well as you can, and you'll be fine. Also grow some balls m8, you're a 23 yo man and not some tween girl whose parents took her against her will to summer camp and now she misses her home and cries herself to sleep every night. You're way too old to act like a wimp and people can adapt to pretty much anything. And Germany is not even that bad, it's not like you're in Uganda or North Korea.

>spends all day playing video games
>Just bought a new PC
>not motivated for any academic activities.

Motherfukka what? There is a ton of shit you could get into. Game design, game review and commentary, game testing, streaming, competive gaming. If you drop out of uni half these things can be done with out a degree anyway.
23 years old, male, able bodied, given a chance for high ed, supportive family structure. You have literally everything going for you.
Oh but I have no friends and I don't like school, might as well an hero. Really who gives a fuck, no one likes school and if it's that bad then quit.
My suggestion for you, start working out everyday. I can tell you're probably an unmotivated weak fuck. It'll fix your depressing brain chemistry and you'll realise how much you've actually got going for you and you'll stop whining like a lil bitch and get stuff done.

Also trying the FSJ?
It could help you in fit in the german environment and get some money to substain yourself too

I know I know i’m a manchild....
I don’t want to waste more of my parents money here. I don’t want a degree. All I want is to go back home and help them repay the fucking loan but they won’t accept that

Because you'r'e being a baby and won't get your degree while they are paying for it. Go and grow some balls and actually get your degree to make cash. It's one of those things you can't just say "welp I tried" and leave before you finish any classes.

I do workout and eat healthy but I’m still depressed and brain fogged.The path my parents are forcing me into is not suited for me. I don’t know how to overcome this situation and handle those emotions... maybe that’s why I see no other options but suicide

Either nut up or kill yourself you fucking drama queen. You've gotten your answer and I highly doubt your going to hear anything else. Fuck off.

While I was still in Romania I accepted or rather fell for the NEET and comfy life. Always making bad decisions and my parents didn’t tell me shit.They are supporting me financially for my whole life and I’m really thankful and lucky to have them and I love them but the communication between us is almost zero. Now when I’m all alone and scared I don’t know how to fix myself

What are you talking about?
How many days would I need to adapt to this new environment?
14 days already and it's only getting worse.
My day looks like this:
>Wake up with headache due to crying all night
>Workout then take a shower
>Go to classes the first 3-4 days
>back in dorm , prepare food
>lay in bed overthinking and crying myself to sleep

How just how to motivate myself to do anything now? I hate myself
Please I will try any advice to change something and overcome this shit

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Christ, you've only been there two weeks and you're contemplating suicide? Have some patience you drama queen.

I’m wasting too much money here. How could you justify those spendings while I can get the same degree for 1/3 of the money back in Romania? But what about my parents? How to properly communicate with them about things. When I start talking about coming back home and seek an alternative way out of this they freak out and start screaming

Calmeaza-te dud, nu e sfarsitul lumii. Esti acolo de 2 saptamani, normal ca iti e dor de casa si e ca pula.

Si eu am plecat la facultate la Cluj din Brasov, distanta mult mai mica decat tine, si tot a fost oribil primele 2 luni. Te obisnuiesti, nu te mai stresa. Sunt ceva organizatii de studenti straini pe acolo? Ar trebui sa fie, du-te si vorbeste cu oamenii si fa ceva prieteni. Poate gasesti chiar ceva club de videogames daca tot zici ca ti-ai pierdut ultimii 5 ani jucand. Orice ai face nu te intoarce acasa pana nu termini facultatea, nu fi idiot. In Romania te caci pe orice diploma, nu valoreaza nici una nimic. Daca nu lucrezi in IT, o sa te chinui sa-ti gasesti de lucru daca nu au parintii tai pile. Stai naibii acolo ca o sa te obisnuiesti, daca te intorci in Romania cu diploma de Germania o sa te bage mult mai multa lume in seama. Diploma aia valoreaza ceva.

Just stick with it and once you get your grades back you will feel better that you have achieved something. Don't kill yourself, a lot of people DREAM about being able to go to college, and you're there moping around like a child who's sick of being able to have stuff that others never will.


OP here
I went for a long walk this afternoon thinking about what you said.
Feeling a lot better now.

Op is me raping mother mary and killing her bastard nigger son

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