Hey Jow Forums I went on a couple of dates with a woman much older than me, she's 40 and I'm 27...

Hey Jow Forums I went on a couple of dates with a woman much older than me, she's 40 and I'm 27. The age difference seems to be an issue for her. I'm having trouble trying to figure out what to text her back. If you can help it would be much appreciated.

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Well do you want to date her?

I don't think you're a good match op. You're too young. But if you do want to try then you tell her your honest feelings.

Do you like her?

If yes and you want to pursue the relationship further then you should be attempting to assuage her fears. Obviously the age gap was going to pose an issue no matter what, but if you can get her past these early fears it's probably smooth sailing afterward.

She doesn't seem that much older. Admittedly there will be some obstacles in talking about stuff but if you're willing to then go for it. Probably a lot of stability to be offered (hopefully).

I do want to date her. I think she's great and I would like to continue seeing her. I don't know what to tell her that could change her mind.

Yes I do like her.

>you should be attempting to assuage her fears
How would I do that? What should I say? I have dated an older (10yrs) woman before for a couple of months back in college. Should I tell her that?

You can't change her mind. Tell her how you feel about her and then leave the ball in her court. Thats it. The only way this has a shot is if she makes the choice of her own volition. If you pressure her into it she'll eventually grow to resent you for it and the relationship will end.

Hard to say if that would hurt or help your case. It might come across as you intend, like "he's definitely interested in making this work," or it might come across like "this guy just has a fetish for older women and is a bit of a weirdo," because women read between the lines even when there's nothing there.

You could try to say something like
>if the age difference is a problem for you then I guess I understand, but for me it's not an issue
>even if we don't understand all of each others references I still feel like we're really compatible
>I'd like to keep seeing you but it's up to you, let me know what you want to do

What she's saying about the gap in your life experience is 100% valid but it doesn't mean you can't make it work. I think the important thing is to come across as mature without sounding like you're trying too hard to come across as mature.

Either way this guy is right you won't be able to change her mind for her and you should state your position of wanting to continue then leave it up to her. Probably gird your loins for disappointment.

I’m 39 and dating an 18 year old. Just be honest with the person and see where you two can go.

What can you possibly have in common with a teenager?
Unless it's purely sex.

Not all teenagers are vapid, just the majority of them. plus you can mold them into whatever person you want by being their biggest influence.

Are you the male or female?

Because the thought of me dating a teenaged boy makes me shudder to my core. Why would you want to control someone like that? I wouldn't even want to mold or control my kids into something I want them to be, let alone a life partner.
This seems very very .....unhealthy. Unless you are in fact a male then I can understand the control you need to have over vaulnerable people.

But you're a guy aren't you? Most women seem to prefer older men who are more established and have more life experience. They don't want to mold a young guy into the "perfect man". They want a man who influences them not the other way around.

She studies philosophy and neuroscience, similar taste in music and travel, gaming, hiking, gardening, etc. cartoons. Started college early; Cert precocious and worldly. Age difference doesn’t necessitate a lack of commonalities.


Well that answer's my question. Men and women are totally different. There's a reason why older women who chase after young men is so rare.

Is the relationship is going to work, it’s not about molding. That is not what people date others for in real life.

I dated an older guy until I got bored eventually. I date guys younger than me now because they're more fun

Creep who is in a stable and happy relationship that both families are fine with. Lol. Judge all you want, but truth is your antiquated and culturally biased perspective bother me naught. I’m going to continue being happy with the girl I love. :)

It won't last creep.


This but without the "creep"

These things are nice up until a certain point then she will leave undoubtedly. Sorry it's just the way it is.

Doubtful. But if something occurs, at least she’s giving me a son in about two months. :)

Congratulations user :) I wish you and your lady a lifetime of joy with your child. Are you going to marry her?

Hijacking this thread. I'm talking to an older woman and she's said she's no longer interested and that's she's "in a dynamic". What the heck does that mean?